i have absolutely no will power..

Dear Sbeezii,

I just joined myfitnesspal today. I was drawn to your post title because you sound like me! I guess I'm old enough to be your mother. Anyway, after I read your post, I understand that you are going through a very difficult time. You're feeling despondent and probably lonely. First of all, despite our society's obsession with health and fitness, the number on your scale DOES NOT define your value as a person. I don't know you but I know you most likely have several "gifts" that others who DO know you could identify. Are you compassionate toward others? Are you funny? Do you appreciate beauty in nature? Do you care about animals? I already know that if you've been dealing with obesity, you have the ability to be empathetic toward others in the same boat! So think about those gifts that are an inherent part of your personality and add the obvious gift of empathy. You have value as a person whether you weigh 319 or 119. You have value TODAY...just exactly as you are. Your post impacted ME, a newbie!

So, how do you move forward? You feel stuck and defeated. You feel that your weight is something you can't possibly overcome. Having struggled with obesity myself, I know you must feel like crap most days. Excessive weight takes a toll on you, emotionally and physically. It's hard to stop the cycle of emotional eating. Believe me, I get it! But once you recognize that your life has value, I hope you can decide that you're sick of going down the rat hole of unhealthy habits. That's where I am today. I don't want to feel like crap anymore. I want to sleep better, stop hiding from social events and live a more "mainstream" life. Frankly, I don't want to die early. There's too much fun to be had!

I wish I knew your name so I could call you by the lovely name your parents gave you as an infant. They had big plans for you. YOU had big plans for you! I can tell from your photo that you're relatively young. This damn weight issue should not define you for the rest of your life. You can't see it in yourself but you are a pretty girl. I would love for you to decide today that you have too many gifts to share, you're too young and you're too pretty to stay "cloistered" by your weight. Decide today that God did not place you on this earth to whither but to bloom. And you don't have to wait until you drop 50 pounds to feel valued. You have value TODAY. And because you have value, my friend, you have to decide that you are going to start to love and care for the earthen vessel the good Lord gave you. Life is waiting for you!

I agree with the other posters that you can start slowly. Take a 10-minute walk. If it's too hot where you live today, cut out one bad thing you normally would eat. Remember that your goal is to stop feeling like crap. If someone gave us a box filled with the excess weight we carry around all day and asked us to carry it, we would think they were nuts! Yet we're the ones punishing ourselves. Sbeezii, you have too much value as a person to treat yourself that way! And so do I. I don't know how long you've been dealing with this weight issue but you can decide today that enough is enough. A lack of will power stinks. But you are too valuable a person to accept the status quo. Let's work on this together. We can do it! I will be praying for your success.

Sincerely,
Someone who cares about you

I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?

how do I get started?

I don't even know how to make a plan.

You FIND it by making a COMMITTMENT to be better to YOURSELF! You decide that you deserve better and you make it happen. Willpower is not necessary when you have committed and promised yourself that you will take care of it.

Willpower is an excuse people use they don't want to win. COMMIT and practice discipline and you'll find your way.

.<<<

All of these suggestions are on point, but most importantly, you have to WANT it more than you want food. This comes from within and God puts the strength in us to want it enough to change.

I feel about the same way. For about 2 years i just been gaining weight. I'm about over 170lbs from 130lbs. I feel sad all the time.

My standard answer is in this blog post.

http://actionfiguremini.tumblr.com/post/53432744622/lost-your-motivation-my-standard-answer

Perfect!

People have limited will power. Building it up takes practice. It takes a saying no to treats a few times. Start slowly going cold turkey right away can just lead to failure. I was the same way. I started off by trying to stay within calorie allotment I still had junk food but I paid attention to the serving. So rather than have 1 L of chocolate milk and two rows of oreos I had two to four and one glass of chocolate milk. Slowly I cut things outs and decreased from there. Don't be too hard on yourself when you don't meet your goals sometimes it happens but the important thing is to press on regardless and try again.

Start small. I started by simply logging calories. Sometimes the sight of how many calories you consume in one day is enough to get you started. My main goal is to be at or under goal for calories. Yes I still eat out occasionally or have a cookie, as long as I am under my calorie allowance I'm good. Once you have that working for you then add in exercise. Little steps is the best way to go. I've seen people drastically change their diet and exercise and they end up falling off the wagon because it's overwhelming. Slow and steady is the way to go. Make small changes over time. You can do it. Feel free to add me if you would like.

I suggest logging everything you put in your moth for 22 days. It takes 22 days to make a habit. Start with that, then you can see what you are doing to your body.

Then I would bring that to a nutritionalist so they can give you directions/guidance specific to you.

You found your will power already, that is what got you to post on this forum!

There is a lot to learn to change your lifestyle. I constantly talk about calories, Looking at the calories in 1 doughnut vs the 1500 i am aloud per day, makes me go F.U. donut, lets eat 3 cups of fruit for the same calories! or hell 6 cups of Veggies! much more fulfilling and has wayyyyy better nutrients. You can still spoil yourself. I can't give up iced coffee. But now instead of a large with cream, I get a small with milk

It is a balancing act.

You Can Do It! You Are Worth It!

As long as you can't, you won't.

I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?

how do I get started?

I don't even know how to make a plan.

A great way to get started is just to log what you eat (and any exercise you're doing) every day for a week. It's a really good way to find out where you can make some changes.

Once you've gotten in the habit of logging consistently, identify your biggest problem area (soda, salty snacks, etc.) and try substituting something healthier for a week. It may also help to keep a diary of when you experience the biggest cravings.

For example, I always crave chocolate in the afternoon. I think it's the result of being given cookies with my lunch every day when I was a kid. Now I make sure to leave room for a chocolate protein shake in the afternoon. It satisfies my chocolate craving and is healthier than cookies and brownies, which always seem to be around in my workplace.

This is a great suggestion, becasue once you start logging your food you will see how many calories foods really have in them. I now will look up what something has before I eat it. If its bad I change my mind and make a different choice. Remember you are a beautifule person & just ask and MFP people will be here to help :-)

MFP could seriously destroy your health. I joined last Thursday, and have yet to see a profile that has the minimum daily BMR allowance recommended for an adult. And, I don't believe, all the MFP members, are less than 12 years old. Well, I am not, and should have been given a BMR suitable for an adult female, but no. Even, the protein levels are to low compared to the carbohydrate ratio. Need I go on?
A long talk with your practisioner, should set you on the right track, or write a letter, if your gp is busy.

I was struggling as well; however I went to my Dr. Thursday and learned that it's do or die. I have a bad heart and a pacemaker and my heart can't take the weight I'm carrying. Do you have a picture of you from when you were smaller? When you look at it does it make you remember how happy you were and how happy you were with yourself? If so, put that somewhere where you can look at it. Log in to this site daily, even if it's just to read success stories or blogs. Let us help motivate you - and in return you'll motivate us!

I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?

how do I get started?

I don't even know how to make a plan.

It sounds like you are pretty depressed if you are even to the point of letting personal hygeine slide. I would see a counselor to help with the mood/ depression. That may in turn make it easier to stick to a diet and fitness plan.