A Question For those who have been on MFP for more than 1 yr

every one is different, and as great as this site is, it is only a tool to help keep track, which in turns, hopeuflly will keep the motivation going.

Bottom line is, you either want it or you don't. No site will magically make you lose, only you can by following the plan.

Great message and question, you have raised my curiosity! I am very new to MFP, and I am so glad I found this community!

I haven't been here a year but I have lost a large amount of weight (with a long way to go) and have seen a lot of people come and go on this site. I've seen more people quit then those who stick it out month after month, but it seems to be easier to spot those who will not make it. The "red flags" I often see for those that (99% of the time) end up giving up usually do one or more of these things:

-they get WAY too hard on themselves when they "mess up" - ie when they go over calories, eat too much cake, miss a day of exercise, etc and act like they've committed a major crime or that they've gone and "ruined everything"

-they eat a LOT of junk food and almost always go over calorie goals, day after day after day

-are excessively negative about themselves and even when they've achieved so much (like eating WAY healthier than they used to) they seem to only see the bad

-they go from eating 3000+ calories a day to trying to live off of 900 calories or less a day

-they push themselves too hard too fast, trying to look at this journey like a sprint instead of the marathon that it is

-can only see this as a temporary thing, a "diet" that they will some day "get off of" once they reach a magical number on the scale, forgetting that for lasting weight loss it has to become a lifestyle change and that even when goal weight is reached they will have to be vigilant with what they eat and how much they exercise for the rest of their lives. Maintenance is a commitment that means being active and eating healthy for life.

-are going to very unhealthy measures to lose the weight, forgetting that what they do to lose the weight is something they will need to do for life in order to keep it off


Now I'm not saying that EVERYONE that does one or more of these things will end up quitting, but they are definitely red flags.

The ones that I've seen stick around month after month are the ones with positive attitudes, the ones who know this is a lifelong journey, the ones that take the good with the bad and give themselves credit for their achievements, and the ones who are going about losing weight in a healthy and sustainable manner.

I hope that helps or answers your question. Sorry for being so long winded. lol

*hugs*
~Stacy

I haven't been here for OVER a year. Just under actually. I started out the week before Thanksgiving last year, so 10 months on here. Wow, kinda funny that I might be considered a veteran or someone that could inspire and cheer on others. But I do admit I've learned A LOT from my time on here, the uphill struggles of weight loss especially when LIFE hits ya, and my own research on all of it. I do like to look at some newbies and spread some of what I've learned, especially since there have been many times I felt like I was a failure, I'm never gonna make it through this, I suck. LOL. I have to agree with sjd2010, there are some people that annoy me because they won't listen to advice, just bemoan their situation. But I'm the type of person to not say anything if it's not nice. I also don't visit the chats as much or reply to newsfeeds , as I'm so busy trying to stay active and keep up with my kids. I'll often just jump on for a moment to log my foods or plan my meals out, then I'm off. This is a choice, and just like life there will be ups and downs on the journey, but it still feels so good to come back after a meal, a day, or a week of being lazy or not eating right and jump right back into it. So if I can help anyone out, I'm happy to struggle through right alongside any of you.

wow
good points stacy.
some of your words sound like u r talking about me.

-they get WAY too hard on themselves when they "mess up" - ie when they go over calories, eat too much cake, miss a day of exercise, etc and act like they've committed a major crime or that they've gone and "ruined everything"

-are excessively negative about themselves and even when they've achieved so much (like eating WAY healthier than they used to) they seem to only see the bad

-they push themselves too hard too fast, trying to look at this journey like a sprint instead of the marathon that it is

-can only see this as a temporary thing, a "diet" that they will some day "get off of" once they reach a magical number on the scale, forgetting that for lasting weight loss it has to become a lifestyle change and that even when goal weight is reached they will have to be vigilant with what they eat and how much they exercise for the rest of their lives. Maintenance is a commitment that means being active and eating healthy for life.

wow
good points stacy.
some of your words sound like u r talking about me.

-they get WAY too hard on themselves when they "mess up" - ie when they go over calories, eat too much cake, miss a day of exercise, etc and act like they've committed a major crime or that they've gone and "ruined everything"

-are excessively negative about themselves and even when they've achieved so much (like eating WAY healthier than they used to) they seem to only see the bad

-they push themselves too hard too fast, trying to look at this journey like a sprint instead of the marathon that it is

-can only see this as a temporary thing, a "diet" that they will some day "get off of" once they reach a magical number on the scale, forgetting that for lasting weight loss it has to become a lifestyle change and that even when goal weight is reached they will have to be vigilant with what they eat and how much they exercise for the rest of their lives. Maintenance is a commitment that means being active and eating healthy for life.

Awww, I hope I didn't offend anyone. It's just what I have seen that seems to be most common with the "quitters". But people can always change. Because truth be told I was once one of those people I described, years ago, that's who I was. Not so today, not so anymore. Every day, every minute, is an opportunity to totally reinvent ourselves and to leave our old ways behind. I haven't been that negative woman in years, nor do I plan on being her ever again! *hugs*

My date lies - I've been here and on track since mid-late January.

I think Stacy is 100% right. But I'd say the winners are the tortoises and the losers are the hares. I've been here 9 months and lost about 40 pounds. But it's in a lifestyle that I can ABSOLUTELY maintain. Forever. Happily. Without craving. Because frankly, when I'm craving something, I have it. But I have a teeeeny tiny bit of it, or I modify it to be much healthier.

I've started reading ingredients, cleaning my house more, and finding interesting ways to add more and more activity into my life. And let me tell you what, my dogs and my husband love me for it :happy: And I love myself for it!!

So how do you know you're sticking? You've made peace with your faults, accepted them, love yourself, and you're just pushing to be a little bit better. And you do it with patience (and sometimes a little grace ... maybe )

What an excellent post!

I would say some of the people who I just "know" are going to succeed are the people that are here every day. Receiving support from others and giving it as well.

Fitness & health become part of who you are after a while & if you let it become part of who you are, change isn't far behind!

Thanks again for the wonderful topic!
-Chancy

What StacySkinny wrote makes all of the sense in the world. Steady with persistence, we can't beat ourselves up when we fall back into an old habit, and we need to make this work in the long run and not overdo skimping on nutrition or killing ourselves to the point of injury with exercise. I really liked what you wrote. I've been here for six weeks and I think I can keep doing what I'm doing so far. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I must sleep now, but I'm curious to read the rest of the comments to your question, which is a great one to ask!

My date lies - I've been here and on track since mid-late January.

I think Stacy is 100% right. But I'd say the winners are the tortoises and the losers are the hares. I've been here 9 months and lost about 40 pounds. But it's in a lifestyle that I can ABSOLUTELY maintain. Forever. Happily. Without craving. Because frankly, when I'm craving something, I have it. But I have a teeeeny tiny bit of it, or I modify it to be much healthier.

I've started reading ingredients, cleaning my house more, and finding interesting ways to add more and more activity into my life. And let me tell you what, my dogs and my husband love me for it :happy: And I love myself for it!!

So how do you know you're sticking? You've made peace with your faults, accepted them, love yourself, and you're just pushing to be a little bit better. And you do it with patience (and sometimes a little grace ... maybe )

This pretty much sums up my experience here. I wanted to cook healthier for my family but I still eat out, fast food even, but in moderation. I think that is a big key, being able to do it in moderation. I always try to tell myself when I want more to eat, the next meal isnt so far away and just wait and look forward to it.

I try to find ways now to exercise more. Walking the dog more, taking the kids with me to walk the dog and get them involved in exercise. I am worried about them as well with getting enough activity daily. I figure the more I do, the more I can eat a little bit more but if I go over, as I did today, tomorrow I will do better and not go over.

I think if you never give yourself some treats, as I did today eating ice cream cake for my son's b-day, and consider yourself being deprived, you will probably eventually cave in and may get way off track.

hope this helps, kind of tired right now and may sound scattered-brained.

I've not been here that long, but can already 'see' the keepers and quitters. Myself included!!

I totally agree with Stacey. The only thing I would add to the quitter list is the excuses! You know, I had a bad day because <..................> instead of just putting it down to life and getting back on the wagon, the day turns into a week and then they are gone.

I know that if I have a bad day then I mostly want to!! :bigsmile: That is, it's a planned 'cheat' day (call it what you will) and soon as its over, I'm back in the lifestyle. I cut myself some slack. I don't think that 100% commitment is necessary. I live the 80/20 rule :bigsmile:

I KNOW that if that day turns into 2 or 3 or 4, then, I'm going to be falling off the wagon!! I've done it so many times. The negative attitude is "I've blown it, I'm giving up now". But this time, I dont have that thought at all!

So, my answer is: live life!! Don't worry about a cheat day! Live it and get back to healthy living after. You dont need excuses to live your life!! You just need to stick to your goal and realise that it's a LONG TERM goal. There is NO quick fix. All us yo-yo dieters actually know that!! So the idea of MFP is to incorporate life into your goal and your goal into your life. :drinker:

Never give up! Slow and steady wins the race :flowerforyou:

hmmmmmmmmmmm:indifferent: :indifferent: :indifferent: :indifferent: :indifferent:
i'm sure u would call me an MFP oldie.
but i'm no success.
i once thought i was though!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
back in 6-2009, i got w/in 5lbs of my goal and i was on top of the world!:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: (bikini pic in profile!!!:bigsmile: :bigsmile: )
but i've gained 10-15 lbs since then!:sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:
i still work out almost every fricken day and i am careful w/ my foods, but ..............::grumble: :grumble: :grumble:

i can not answer your question. perhapps i should not even have written in your thread. i too am in awe of the sucess people you talk of!

I just LOVE this post! I'm gonna keep it!!!

I started in Jan 08, and was down over 20lbs when my daughter was diagnosed with leukemia in April of 08. Totally lost my head, the only thing that mattered was her and getting her well. I tried halfheartedly a few times to lose the weight while she was going through her 2 1/2 years of treatment, but was never fully committed so continually gave up. In all, I put on the 20 I lost, plus 10ish more, I forget the exact amount.

I got semi-serious again last July, but then my Dad was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer at the age of 55 (he's still going strong, but will not live to see his 70s... we're praying he sees part of his 60s and for a cure!), so that shot that attempt out the door.

Finally at the end April of this year I thought, what am I doing to myself? I can't help my daughter or my Dad if I'm an overweight mess (and the stressed out "strong one" of the family... I was thisclose to punching the next person that said that to me after my Dad was diagnosed "Oh, you'll get your sister and everyone through this because you're the strong one." *insert scream here*), so I completely and utterly recommitted myself to getting ME healthy. Which is a bonus, because after my daughter finished her chemo, they told us that she has even more of a chance to be obese because of the steroids she had to take, and her father's side of the family are all obese. I hope that if she pays as close attention to me as I know she has been, she'll see that even though her Mom is "old" (haha, I'm only 35) and can get healthy, that it won't be much of a stretch to keep herself healthy too.

As a bonus, my husband joined this site in May or June and has now lost 40lbs and is about halfway to his goal weight, and avoiding diabetes too!

Wow, girl your post really touched my heart! I love that despite what you've gone through (and continue to go through) you've decided to put yourself on the list. You're totally right, you can't do anything for other people if your own health starts to decline. Eating healthy and exercising regularly is going to assure you're in tip-top shape to deal with whatever life has to offer - the good and the bad.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. You're such a sweet heart! Your daughter and dad (and you) are in my prayers! *big hugs*