A Question For those who have been on MFP for more than 1 yr

every one is different, and as great as this site is, it is only a tool to help keep track, which in turns, hopeuflly will keep the motivation going.

Bottom line is, you either want it or you don't. No site will magically make you lose, only you can by following the plan.

Great message and question, you have raised my curiosity! I am very new to MFP, and I am so glad I found this community!

I haven't been here a year but I have lost a large amount of weight (with a long way to go) and have seen a lot of people come and go on this site. I've seen more people quit then those who stick it out month after month, but it seems to be easier to spot those who will not make it. The "red flags" I often see for those that (99% of the time) end up giving up usually do one or more of these things:

-they get WAY too hard on themselves when they "mess up" - ie when they go over calories, eat too much cake, miss a day of exercise, etc and act like they've committed a major crime or that they've gone and "ruined everything"

-they eat a LOT of junk food and almost always go over calorie goals, day after day after day

-are excessively negative about themselves and even when they've achieved so much (like eating WAY healthier than they used to) they seem to only see the bad

-they go from eating 3000+ calories a day to trying to live off of 900 calories or less a day

-they push themselves too hard too fast, trying to look at this journey like a sprint instead of the marathon that it is

-can only see this as a temporary thing, a "diet" that they will some day "get off of" once they reach a magical number on the scale, forgetting that for lasting weight loss it has to become a lifestyle change and that even when goal weight is reached they will have to be vigilant with what they eat and how much they exercise for the rest of their lives. Maintenance is a commitment that means being active and eating healthy for life.

-are going to very unhealthy measures to lose the weight, forgetting that what they do to lose the weight is something they will need to do for life in order to keep it off


Now I'm not saying that EVERYONE that does one or more of these things will end up quitting, but they are definitely red flags.

The ones that I've seen stick around month after month are the ones with positive attitudes, the ones who know this is a lifelong journey, the ones that take the good with the bad and give themselves credit for their achievements, and the ones who are going about losing weight in a healthy and sustainable manner.

I hope that helps or answers your question. Sorry for being so long winded. lol

*hugs*
~Stacy

I haven't been here for OVER a year. Just under actually. I started out the week before Thanksgiving last year, so 10 months on here. Wow, kinda funny that I might be considered a veteran or someone that could inspire and cheer on others. But I do admit I've learned A LOT from my time on here, the uphill struggles of weight loss especially when LIFE hits ya, and my own research on all of it. I do like to look at some newbies and spread some of what I've learned, especially since there have been many times I felt like I was a failure, I'm never gonna make it through this, I suck. LOL. I have to agree with sjd2010, there are some people that annoy me because they won't listen to advice, just bemoan their situation. But I'm the type of person to not say anything if it's not nice. I also don't visit the chats as much or reply to newsfeeds , as I'm so busy trying to stay active and keep up with my kids. I'll often just jump on for a moment to log my foods or plan my meals out, then I'm off. This is a choice, and just like life there will be ups and downs on the journey, but it still feels so good to come back after a meal, a day, or a week of being lazy or not eating right and jump right back into it. So if I can help anyone out, I'm happy to struggle through right alongside any of you.

wow
good points stacy.
some of your words sound like u r talking about me.

-they get WAY too hard on themselves when they "mess up" - ie when they go over calories, eat too much cake, miss a day of exercise, etc and act like they've committed a major crime or that they've gone and "ruined everything"

-are excessively negative about themselves and even when they've achieved so much (like eating WAY healthier than they used to) they seem to only see the bad

-they push themselves too hard too fast, trying to look at this journey like a sprint instead of the marathon that it is

-can only see this as a temporary thing, a "diet" that they will some day "get off of" once they reach a magical number on the scale, forgetting that for lasting weight loss it has to become a lifestyle change and that even when goal weight is reached they will have to be vigilant with what they eat and how much they exercise for the rest of their lives. Maintenance is a commitment that means being active and eating healthy for life.

wow
good points stacy.
some of your words sound like u r talking about me.

-they get WAY too hard on themselves when they "mess up" - ie when they go over calories, eat too much cake, miss a day of exercise, etc and act like they've committed a major crime or that they've gone and "ruined everything"

-are excessively negative about themselves and even when they've achieved so much (like eating WAY healthier than they used to) they seem to only see the bad

-they push themselves too hard too fast, trying to look at this journey like a sprint instead of the marathon that it is

-can only see this as a temporary thing, a "diet" that they will some day "get off of" once they reach a magical number on the scale, forgetting that for lasting weight loss it has to become a lifestyle change and that even when goal weight is reached they will have to be vigilant with what they eat and how much they exercise for the rest of their lives. Maintenance is a commitment that means being active and eating healthy for life.

Awww, I hope I didn't offend anyone. It's just what I have seen that seems to be most common with the "quitters". But people can always change. Because truth be told I was once one of those people I described, years ago, that's who I was. Not so today, not so anymore. Every day, every minute, is an opportunity to totally reinvent ourselves and to leave our old ways behind. I haven't been that negative woman in years, nor do I plan on being her ever again! *hugs*

My date lies - I've been here and on track since mid-late January.

I think Stacy is 100% right. But I'd say the winners are the tortoises and the losers are the hares. I've been here 9 months and lost about 40 pounds. But it's in a lifestyle that I can ABSOLUTELY maintain. Forever. Happily. Without craving. Because frankly, when I'm craving something, I have it. But I have a teeeeny tiny bit of it, or I modify it to be much healthier.

I've started reading ingredients, cleaning my house more, and finding interesting ways to add more and more activity into my life. And let me tell you what, my dogs and my husband love me for it :happy: And I love myself for it!!

So how do you know you're sticking? You've made peace with your faults, accepted them, love yourself, and you're just pushing to be a little bit better. And you do it with patience (and sometimes a little grace ... maybe )

What an excellent post!

I would say some of the people who I just "know" are going to succeed are the people that are here every day. Receiving support from others and giving it as well.

Fitness & health become part of who you are after a while & if you let it become part of who you are, change isn't far behind!

Thanks again for the wonderful topic!
-Chancy

What StacySkinny wrote makes all of the sense in the world. Steady with persistence, we can't beat ourselves up when we fall back into an old habit, and we need to make this work in the long run and not overdo skimping on nutrition or killing ourselves to the point of injury with exercise. I really liked what you wrote. I've been here for six weeks and I think I can keep doing what I'm doing so far. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I must sleep now, but I'm curious to read the rest of the comments to your question, which is a great one to ask!

My date lies - I've been here and on track since mid-late January.

I think Stacy is 100% right. But I'd say the winners are the tortoises and the losers are the hares. I've been here 9 months and lost about 40 pounds. But it's in a lifestyle that I can ABSOLUTELY maintain. Forever. Happily. Without craving. Because frankly, when I'm craving something, I have it. But I have a teeeeny tiny bit of it, or I modify it to be much healthier.

I've started reading ingredients, cleaning my house more, and finding interesting ways to add more and more activity into my life. And let me tell you what, my dogs and my husband love me for it :happy: And I love myself for it!!

So how do you know you're sticking? You've made peace with your faults, accepted them, love yourself, and you're just pushing to be a little bit better. And you do it with patience (and sometimes a little grace ... maybe )

This pretty much sums up my experience here. I wanted to cook healthier for my family but I still eat out, fast food even, but in moderation. I think that is a big key, being able to do it in moderation. I always try to tell myself when I want more to eat, the next meal isnt so far away and just wait and look forward to it.

I try to find ways now to exercise more. Walking the dog more, taking the kids with me to walk the dog and get them involved in exercise. I am worried about them as well with getting enough activity daily. I figure the more I do, the more I can eat a little bit more but if I go over, as I did today, tomorrow I will do better and not go over.

I think if you never give yourself some treats, as I did today eating ice cream cake for my son's b-day, and consider yourself being deprived, you will probably eventually cave in and may get way off track.

hope this helps, kind of tired right now and may sound scattered-brained.