Frustrating Skinny Friend

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SamanthaRuzicka
SamanthaRuzicka Posts: 10 Member
in Motivation and Support
I work out 6 days a week at the gym with my "skinny friend" she keeps me moving, motivated, and in check....but some days she just makes me mad! I count my calories, I generally eat healthy calories, but today I made some bad choices (within my caloire goals) and she made me feel so bad for it. She is very pro-lo carb and I am more eat what i'm feeling like within my portion and calorie goals. I try to keep my protien high and my sodium low but otherwise I'm pretty happy with my choices....today I had Taco Bell. I know I know it was a bad choice, I had 2 sick kids, I was pulling my hair out, and that's what my little one asked for so we had it. I just want to stop feeling like I should feel so guilty for it.
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Replies

  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    There are no evil foods. None. You need to eat as healthy as possible leaving room for treats and snacks Working into your calories for the day, the things that you like to eat. Otherwise you will burn out and quit.

    As far as your friend, stand up to her and explain that you are working your own plan. Exercise together - there's no problem there. Don't let others throw you off your plan. Find what works for you. Good luck.
  • lmarshel
    lmarshel Posts: 674 Member
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    Does she know she hurt your feelings...and did she apologize for it? If not, she's not a friend.

    You should not feel guilty. Everyone has those days, and one meal is not going to derail you. You gotta see the bigger picture. It's a lifestyle change, right?? That means it's FOREVER. So you're gonna eat junk once in a while. That's how life works. :)

    Sorry your "friend" made you feel bad. :flowerforyou:
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
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    If I may ask, how did she make you feel bad about it? She might honestly not know she's doing something wrong, or maybe she's blatantly being a brat. Either way, I think you should have an honest conversation with her about it, if it bothers you (and it does enough to post in an online forum).

    It's your lifestyle and your choice. You don't need anyone else's validation nor judgement. You're the one that has to live with the consequences, so do as you please. I mean, food is such an incredibly personal choice, isn't it? I can't imagine telling someone else not to eat this, that or the other. But that's just me.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    lol

    if ya asked to help you in your weight loss journey she can be as honest as she wants, cant fault an honest friend and then get your feelings hurt when she points out how terrible it is for you

    and if you didn't ask for her help then ignore her and eat what ever you feel comfy eating
    remind her one meal isn't going to set ya back
  • prairiewalker
    prairiewalker Posts: 184 Member
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    There are no evil foods.

    I disagree...
  • prairiewalker
    prairiewalker Posts: 184 Member
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    It's your lifestyle and your choice. You don't need anyone else's validation nor judgement. You're the one that has to live with the consequences, so do as you please. I mean, food is such an incredibly personal choice, isn't it?

    yes..this^^^
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
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    Maybe your friend wants you to stop doing this:
    I can USUALLY stick to my calories, but there's that one week a month when I crave nothing but junk.

    Because you say you want to stop doing that. And she wants to be there for you.
  • brraanndi
    brraanndi Posts: 325 Member
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    She's just miserable because she can't eat bread or something. Do what works for you, don't let her get you down.
  • sweetchildomine
    sweetchildomine Posts: 872 Member
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    I find it interesting that this thread is titled "Frustrating skinny friend". If she was overweight would it have made you feel the same way? Honestly, it sounds like she's just trying to help. Just as you explained to us that you had sick children and it's just a once in awhile thing, you can say the same to her.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    Tell her to shut the fruck up.
  • melham
    melham Posts: 233 Member
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    So you've never asked her to keep you "on track"? If you've put her in the position of being the motivator, the coach, and the voice of reason, don't get all butt-hurt when that's what she does. If not, she may be out of line. Or you may be overly sensitive. Sorry, but you have to consider the fact that maybe you already felt guilty and you're lashing out at her.
  • SamanthaRuzicka
    SamanthaRuzicka Posts: 10 Member
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    I have asked her for help in the gym....she likes to put her own imput in on what I should and shouldn't eat. I was just venting about my bad day and my bad choices when she went into how I ruined my day with that and how i'm never going to loose the weight that way.

    I should be honest with her on how I felt, we aren't that close of friends at this point so I just let it fly past and wanted to vent here to just get it off my chest.

    I have been oing so much better and I'm proud of most of my choices...this one was not the best, but I'm still not over my calories for the day so i guess i'll take it.
  • SamanthaRuzicka
    SamanthaRuzicka Posts: 10 Member
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    Just venting here guys...No need to jump me on it.
  • juniperfox
    juniperfox Posts: 127 Member
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    I find it interesting that this thread is titled "Frustrating skinny friend". If she was overweight would it have made you feel the same way? Honestly, it sounds like she's just trying to help. Just as you explained to us that you had sick children and it's just a once in awhile thing, you can say the same to her.
    Seriously, this. It's like OP is looking for validation in being upset with her friend for her own mistakes. Sorry, but that's how it comes off.
    So you've never asked her to keep you "on track"? If you've put her in the position of being the motivator, the coach, and the voice of reason, don't get all butt-hurt when that's what she does. If not, she may be out of line. Or you may be overly sensitive. Sorry, but you have to consider the fact that maybe you already felt guilty and you're lashing out at her.
    I agree with this as well.
  • SamanthaRuzicka
    SamanthaRuzicka Posts: 10 Member
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    So excited that joined a great group of people to vent to about my struggles and goals on weight loss who understand and support each other...Just a vent people no need to drag me through the dirt and make me feel bad. I've spent 4 hours today in the ER with sick kids with a deployed hubby...wah wah poor me. I'm sure none of you have had a bad day and just needed somewhere to vent to.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    You shouldn't feel guilty at all. There is nothing wrong with eating what you ate, especially when you are under stress (sick kids and all). But it really doesn't matter. If you eat a mostly nutritious diet, count calories and stick within your goals for that as well as macros and micros, and exercise, then there is no problem. Eating at taco bell isn't even bad, imo, it's not like you eat every meal there, everyday. You should talk to your friend and tell her that you don't want her input on food because you have your way and she has her way and you count calories. The issue is not that your friend is skinny, it's that she is into a specific diet (low carb) and thinks other people need to eat like her. A low carb diet is unnecessary. I do not tolerate people telling me what to eat or not or shaming food choices. Input about recipe or food ideas is good. But, I don't want anyone policing my food choices (it varies from time to time depending on what is going on in my life in terms of stress).
  • brynnsmom
    brynnsmom Posts: 945 Member
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    She was probably just trying to help you, but we all have our moments where we don't want anyone's input. Hopefully venting made you feel better. Sounds like you still had a good day and have nothing to feel bad about there. :flowerforyou:
  • Tysonlovesweights
    Tysonlovesweights Posts: 139 Member
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    this sounds like a case of my day is going soooooooooo badly, even when i try to get my kids something they want for dinner and will eat, i have to hear about it..........won't anything go my way today? just the icing on the cake of your bad day, if it wasn't that thing that set you off, it would have been the rep count during your workout, or the spotting ability of your skinny friend or whatever geesh don't these skinny folks know that just being their skinny selves can be a source of aggravation for the not-so-skinny among us?

    seriously, your friend is just trying to help, and chances are as some other posters said, you were already feeling bad about the choice, and just didn't want to admit it to yourself. she is a good friend for telling it straight up.....we are all here because in the past we haven't admitted things to ourselves.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
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    So excited that joined a great group of people to vent to about my struggles and goals on weight loss who understand and support each other...Just a vent people no need to drag me through the dirt and make me feel bad. I've spent 4 hours today in the ER with sick kids with a deployed hubby...wah wah poor me. I'm sure none of you have had a bad day and just needed somewhere to vent to.

    We all have bad days, but you also have to realize this is an online forum and people have opinions (LOTS of opinions) and some (many) may not always agree with you. It's just how things go sometimes. I would suggest the next time you need to post a "vent" thread, preface it at the beginning with "I just need to vent about this..." and end it with "Thanks for reading, I just needed to get this off my chest" so people don't see it as you're asking for advice or a solution.

    Then again, people have (many) opinions and experiences. Just the way the forum works sometimes. People here are largely supportive, I think. You just can't post always looking for validation, you may end up very disappointed.
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
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    I guess she's just being a friend & doing what you asked her to do? (or not). Friends can be annoying but hey, I'm sure if she was doing the opposite (trying to make you eat bad food etc.) you would complain about that too. Don't let it get to you. It's a tough gig juggling everything with kids let alone sick kids. Don't be so hard on yourself or your friend.

    She may be skinny but is she healthy? Just keep doing what you are doing :smile:

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