Ex dumped me because I was too fat

This is an incredibly disturbing story. Please go see a counselor because I can't imagine a person going through this and not having issues. You deserve peace of mind.

Agree 100%. You should talk to a pro. Such situations can cause issues that linger forever. Thanks for sharing. :flowerforyou:

Good riddance ! You don't need an abusive jerk in your life. "Shoved food" into your mouth? That's just abuse, and if he doesn't respect you more than that, dump his *kitten* immediately. Besides, your an apparently pretty nice woman, you can do a LOT better, regardless of whether your a size ten or size 20. I hope you find someone who sees the good in who you are (as well as enjoying your body, whatever size it happens to be at that moment.).

Don't think of it as time "wasted", think of it as a learning experience. I spent 7 years with my abuser. After I was finally out I was so angry that I let him "steal" 7 years of my life. It ate away at me. My self-esteem was crap. Then, I realized my own worth. I realized that I couldn't let him take that time from me. I used it to learn more about myself and my strength than I'd ever known. If I could make it through those 7 years....I could make it through anything.

Oh sweetie I am so sorry.

Abusive men are the scum of the earth. They're selfish, they bully and hurt people just because they CAN. They're dead inside.

It will take time to heal from this - so his negative voice quietens and your positive voice comes through strong. It might be worth speaking to a domestic abuse counsellor about what you've been through, or try asking your doctor to point you in the right direction.

You'll get there - there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take very good care of yourself - you've been through a lot.

All the best xx

This I totally agree with.

I would strongly advise that you find someone that can give you good counsel, plus help you to (re)-discover your inherent beauty and worth. While I am not a counsellor, I think that girls are drawn to abusive guys because deep inside they don't think they deserve the love and honour of a good man. You do deserve that and you must not settle for less than that.

I think you are very pretty! You should never have been in a relationship like that. He has serious issues. That is NOT what love is. He never loved you. You deserve better. Use this as fuel to your fire & better yourself. Not b/c you need to be "skinny" to be loved, but b/c you need to be healthy for YOU. Remember that the number on the scale is not as important as being healthy. It's ok to be curvy too. Just make better food choices, fruits & veggies for your carbs instead of processed junk. Protein, water, & limit your alcohol. Quit smoking if you do, and work out. Do a work out that is fun so that way you don't feel punished when you do it. And forget about this guy. Completely block him from your life, and never allow anyone else to treat you that way again.

Holy crap. This guy abused the hell out of you! Please, please, please be thankful this animal is out of your life. You lucked out. He's gone. Now, you need to make sure he stays gone. You can use this as a motivator in your life -- to never let yourself end up in a similar situation and to take charge of your life and be the person you want to be. The way he made you feel isn't who you are, no matter how hard he worked to reinforce that negative image and no matter how much you've taken it to heart. Find something positive to focus your energy on. Actually, now would be a good time to surround yourself with and submerse yourself in a whole lot of positivity.

Whatever you do, don't sit around glamorizing the past and glorifying him because he had "sweet" moments.

Well, on the bright side, you just lost about 200 pounds of dead weight by getting rid of that jerk-hole so congrats on your first victory! Now's a great time to refocus on a fresh new you. Good lucks and congrats in advance for all the victories to come!

Um, sounds like he was abusive and you allowed it to go on for 4 years. he did you a favor, now take a break from dating for a while to get some therapy. There are very few reasons that a person stays in an abusive relationship for 4 years, and love ain't one. Seriously, get some therapy.

Your ex sounds like a mental case.. seriously there is something wrong with him, normal people DO NOT do that to their gf's skinny/chubby/whatever, it's abusive behaviour and I hope you realise now that you are so worth being loved and adored even if he didn't act like it. I t sounds like he got some sick sadistic pleasure out of force feeding you and tearing down your self esteem.

You need to focus on and loving and caring for yourself right now, the weight loss will follow. In my opinion, your top priority should be to nurture yourself emotionally and rebuild your confidence and self worth, Visit a counsellor or therapist if need be, try to understand why you enabled this ill treatment for 4 years, and how you can avoid attracting the same type of guy and beginning the cycle all over again. Take your power back Good luck!

Why bother? Because the ultimate revenge is to change the one thing he hated most about you and make sure he knows it.

Petty? Yeah, probably. Do you deserve it? Abso-freakin-lutely.

I didn't think my first post would be this one, but it is. I hate to see people abuse other people. And this is abuse. I didn't read all of the responses to your post, most of them said the same thing. Good riddence to bad rubbish.

First of all you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Secondly, this guy wanted you in this state because he had control. Don't let him have control. Enough said about him.

Now about you. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps, as my grandmother would say and put that all behind you. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Exercise gets your endorphins going and gives you positive energy and helps you be happy. Get moving, even if it's slow at first.

Secondly, don't diet. You heare me. Don't diet. Do what we all need to do and change your eating habits.
Look at the DASH Diet. Yeah I know I said don't diet. Ignore the name of it. It's really a way of life not a diet.

I started it 3 weeks ago at the recommendation of my neighbor who also happens to be a nutritionist. I didn't do the 14 day stabalizer or whatever they call it, you can if you want. I just started eating 3 meals a day and 2 snacks a day. Started tracking my food on here. Honestly after the first week I didn't have any cravings for junk food, well only once, i wanted cheetoes, but it passed.

I've lost 3 pounds in 3 weeks. I'm not hungry at all. As a matter of fact. Somestimes I have to force myself to eat those snacks. it's the constant eating that keeps your blood sugars from spiking and dropping. I've added more fiber and less carbs to my diet. Except on exercise days. Then I eat more carbs.

Why did I start this, because I am on high blood pressure meds, chloresterol meds, and my last blood test had me heading toward diabeties. Nope not going there, hopefully. Both my parents are/were diabetics. I want to turn that around if I can.

I also joined a gym, got 4 free trainer sessions, and I'm well on my way to a healthier happier me.

Who am I doing this for? you guessed it ME!

I have spent over 30 years raising children and putting them ahead of myself. Now it's my turn.

3 weeks into it I have more energy, my clothes are fitting better and I feel great. I am even seeing small changes in my body that are making me very motivated, not to mention the tire around my waist. That's enough motivation for me.

So you see it's not about him it's about you. To hell with him.

Saddest part is you weren’t the one who dumped him, which you ought to have done 4 years ago.

Anyways, what is done is done. Best concentrate on your future and improving your lifestyle and fitness, not for the sake of some moron, but for yourself.

Hi. I will say that I am very sorry about your relationship. A little over a year ago, I was 7 months pregnant, and with the help of a couple of friends, I packed up my then 2 year old and our things and walked out of my house, while my husband was gone. By that time the abuse had changed me from the person I was. I was a zombie doing what I could to keep from literally losing my mind. I won't go into the nasty details, but I will say, I completely understand your struggle. It is so easy for people to say, "Oh you're so much better off without him!" Although they are right, we are better off, it is not just that simple. I have had people say to me, "I would have left that guy a long time ago! Why didn't you just leave?" Again, it is not that simple and people who have not been there do not understand it.

I did not read all of the posts on here, so forgive me if this is repetitive. Talking to someone is the best thing. Talk to a therapist. There is no shame is seeking therapy. If you are religious, also talk to your pastor or counselor, talk to your friends, but definitely talk to a therapist. The psychological aspect of abuse affects us deeper then we think and more then anyone else can understand.

If you continue having trouble with him, I suggest you find a Community Violence Intervention Center or whatever is in your area and then pursue a restraining order. Seems that you have had enough unwanted contact that you should qualify for one.

Whatever you do, DO NOT GO BACK TO HIM!! Whatever story he tells you, he will tell you he loves you, he's sorry, he's changed. He will promise not to do it again. DO NOT BELIEVE HIM. PLEASE... If you go back to him, it will be worse and it will be harder to leave.

Feel free to add me if you would like.

hell want you back when youre skinny , id guess you may just tell him whjere to go.