That you're not one of us feeling

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  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    wow, the amount of $ i'd have to be paid to have anything to do with a group like that doesn't fit on my calculator. if not related, those people will have known each other from grade school on, probably? there is no way you can penetrate that kind of history on the timescale you would like, if you've just got the one lifetime.

    agree you will need a mentor or friend. since every effort that is natural to you is rebuffed, the way to (maybe) be tolerated (best you can hope for imo) is to absolutely limit your role in interactions to listening. let them lead, follow their cues, even if it means feeling awkward for months or even years. doing that will probably make you feel all crappy & mess with your idea of yourself. if it were me, i'd find something else to do.

    shoot, is this a job or a volunteer thing?? ah i see 'community service for college'. keep your head down & try to survive. do your best at your work and hang out with friends outside of all this to remind yourself you're a decent person.

    They have known each other for quiet awhile.

    I've decided to switch and I keep a diary around with me to discuss in my head and what happens around me. Thankfully, I do have friends or close knit to me but are always willing to make room for more. also to considerlike me tend to be apart of the military/ government beat community.. When I think about it, I've always had issues with the natives of the area even when I've tried being friendly.
  • phred_52
    phred_52 Posts: 189 Member
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    Family don't qualify as an organization obviously, but I'm quite often told to censor what I say, not that I use curse words at all. I'm quite the oddball, or out there as I like to say. Silence is golden.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    Family don't qualify as an organization obviously, but I'm quite often told to censor what I say, not that I use curse words at all. I'm quite the oddball, or out there as I like to say. Silence is golden.

    You say what you want?
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    Is anyone here posting from military families or perhaps moved a lot because I mainly get this feeling from natives of the area?

    Natives-born and raised in the area with family that's lived there a long time
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    I have moved around a lot.

    I missed this though:
    I got this feeling mainly from members that came from the area and who had family in the organization for a long time.

    So does that mean there are people who are not from the area, and who do not have family in the organization? If so, talk to them a bit more.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    There are some but they tend to live further out and they have family and full time jobs so they are like part time.
  • weightedfootsteps
    weightedfootsteps Posts: 4,349 Member
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    I'm a Navy Brat! I was shipped all around the USA and landed in Indiana where my parents grew up when I was 17. I am 32 and still here. I was not accepted by many, mostly the undergrads because I was a senior. The other seniors still avoid me mostly...don't know why. But everyone else is cool with me now. People older or younger...wanna feel really crappy...you don't get invited to reunions!!! WTF! I was so angry when I realized I wasn't invited and I tried contacting someone to set it straight...never got a straight answer! Screw em! I got my own friends, family to be with...I don't need to see the people I graduated with that don't accept "strangers" in their small crappy town.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    I just have to remember that I'm prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse and they aren't!
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    I'm done with Fire and Rescue.

    One is too cliquey and the other won't tell why the fudge I can't join except my relationship with the other squad does not make me recommendable for candidacy of membership and the other reason is because my references which I have no idea what's wrong with those. I didn't use family and all of the people were in charge of me on a team at one point. Not mad that I got rejected, mad that they won't let know what I did wrong or give me any tips and I have no leads.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    Sorry :(

    I really hope someone who understands this world can offer advice.

    (by 'this world' i mean whatever happens with the uniformed services, i gather the work culture might be different than what most office monkeys face)
  • NRSPAM
    NRSPAM Posts: 961 Member
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    We're just all a bunch of misfits! Lol. I think a lot of the times, people just get used to their own click or group, and are not very welcoming to outsiders. Personally, I don't care. people can take me or leave me. I'm not going to change. Add me if you like. :)
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    My guess is if you're trying to hard to fit in it backfires. If you stay quiet, chances are they'll start talking to you of sheer curiosity. I learned that in gradeschool. Also, if people are having private convos and you try to join in, they will be like wtf, lol.

    I do know what you mean, OP. Just try and shrug it off. Some peeps only roll in cliques and they'll never let you in.
  • balguy
    balguy Posts: 19 Member
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    If it happens in one place it could be just them , but otherwise:
    I believe is all about liking your self enough, and feeling strong self worth. Too much is also not good.

    People want to talk about themselves not about you, so if you want to be liked start by been truly interested in the person, ask about their interests, how they got involved with the event, etc... you be surprise,many times people talk to me for a long time, I dont say anything about myself, just let them go on and on and afterwards without having said anything about me they are offering me business referals etc..

    And lastly people do judge books by their covers, smile, dress in a respectful matter, shower, deodorant, make sure your teeth does not scare people, ask your close friends for feedback. Dont interrupt conversations ever!!:smile:
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    Well, I transferred (tried) to another department but got rejected, even though the fire chief clearer me, because my references were bad ( they never talked to any of my personal references and I know my employer said good about me considering that I've been asked back on duty every season and I'm on good terms with them) and due to my interactions w/ the other departments officers and the one I was trying to join ( I was playing bus boy ( I'm female) on duty and I barely said anything to officers) ( plus the membership recruiter is also with the cliquey department and buddy buddy with the other organization's membership officer. I don't think she liked my reason for leaving the cliquey department)

    I officially feel like crap and Aunt Flo ain't helpin' either.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    One of us
    one of us
    one of us
    one of us
    one of us



    oops, sorry couldnt help it
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    One of us
    one of us
    one of us
    one of us
    one of us



    oops, sorry couldnt help it

    It's cool. Lol, you made my day.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    One of us
    one of us
    one of us
    one of us
    one of us



    oops, sorry couldnt help it

    It's cool. Lol, you made my day.

    Hey, I'm back again and I was wondering if it's possible a potential employer could lie about what a reference said? I asked my reference (including job references) They all said they never got a call...and I don't think my former employer would say anything bad about me because I left for the Army on good terms...
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,638 Member
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    I hate when people act like that. I was at a party at my boyfriend's friends house. Tried to join in their conversation but was ignored by everyone and they gave me dirty looks. They even brought a drink out for my boyfriend and didn't even offer me one or say hi. I ended up just going outside and calling my friend to talk and waited till my boyfriend was done hanging out. Needless to say we haven't been over their house again.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    I hate when people act like that. I was at a party at my boyfriend's friends house. Tried to join in their conversation but was ignored by everyone and they gave me dirty looks. They even brought a drink out for my boyfriend and didn't even offer me one or say hi. I ended up just going outside and calling my friend to talk and waited till my boyfriend was done hanging out. Needless to say we haven't been over their house again.

    Can't join em', have fun by yourself! Their unwillingness to get to know someone is their issue, not mine...
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    In need of answers, not getting any...

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