parents: college savings OR other enrichment activities?

I supply my children with food and shelter. Can't really afford much else.

This is my family. I'm 22 years old, and when your kids get to be my age, they may appreciate if you knew what I'm about to share with you: I was home schooled 3rd grade through 9th, and I know full well that I was able to retain information best when I was enjoying the experience. My parents traveled for business when I was little. I've been to 48 states and Canada. I saw three space shuttle launches, several natural landmarks (Garden of the Gods, Yellowstone Park, etc.), as well as national landmarks (Statue of Liberty, Liberty Bell, Jamestown Settlement, The Alamo, and Civil War battle grounds). I saw Hollywood, Elvis' birthplace, Graceland, and been to the homes of Mark Twain and Thomas Jefferson. BUT, traveling was how my parents brought in enough money to keep feeding and clothing two growing kids. These weren't just "enrichment activities"; this WAS our history and geography education, and it was on the way to where we needed to go.

So, knowing that these things had a huge and lasting impact on me, what would I recommend? Buy your kids a museum pass and some Rosetta Stone software and SAVE FOR THEIR COLLEGE COSTS. Here's why:

1. I'm 22 years old and I can't afford to finish college. It costs almost $5,000 per semester to go to my "cheap" state university, and they won't let me start a new semester until I've paid off the old one. Even with my full-time job, I can only afford 1.5 semesters of college per year. It shouldn't take seven years to complete my Bachelor's degree, but I don't have much choice.

2. Your kids aren't going to remember this stuff in 10 years. They'll remember the car breaking down, and eating something that grosses them out, but all of the facts you want them to learn will be forgotten.

(2a - By the way, maybe I'm just a stupid, poor kid, but what kind of "enrichment" is "sleep-away camp"? Take your kids to your local forest preserve or nature museum and let them have sleep overs. Same difference.)

3. Don't sacrifice the education your kids need for one that does them no good. I admire your desire for your kids to have these wonderful and irreplaceable experiences, but a high school diploma just doesn't cut it anymore.

4. When your kids get to be teens and young adults, their values and priorities are going to shift just a little bit. For example, between the trip to China and a small car, your 16 year old is most likely going to want the car. China is not going to make them look cool, get them to school or work, or take their dates to the movies. China is not going to relax them after a bad day, give them a place to scream out their frustrations, or cry/sing as loud as they want to a breakup song when they're heartbroken. There are pictures of the Ice Caps online; they're going to want to see something "exciting" like the nearest big city, or the next state over.

5. Finally, if you put aside money for college, they can use it on whatever becomes most important to them. They may want to start a clinic or a food pantry. They may want to put down money on a house. They may want to travel (when they're old enough to remember the experience) to somewhere they've heard or read about. If they don't - if going to school and getting a degree is what they want to do - then they have that option, too.

Again, I admire your desire for your kids to experience these wonderful things, but it's not practical and it doesn't really do them as much good as saving for their future. A parent's responsibility is to provide his/her children with what they need, and these days, a college education is considered necessary. It's honestly the best thing you could ever give to/do for your kids. Good luck!

3. Don't sacrifice the education your kids need for one that does them no good. I admire your desire for your kids to have these wonderful and irreplaceable experiences, but a high school diploma just doesn't cut it anymore.

I dont think they are sacraficing their kids education at all. They are giving them more knowledge by traveling and sending them away then a book could ever teach them. Just because they are choosing to have different experiences than paying for college doesnt mean their sacraficing their education....

why is there no option for "hookers and blow"?

I see a couple of them chimed in!

I'm mixed on this on one hand yes save for college, but on the other hand what if college isnt in your child's future? Is it more important to make memories or save?

I dont know if you can have your cake and eat it too...

I was lucky I had scholarships, loans, and I was able to live with my Grandma who put me through school.

Definitely save for school. As someone who has just sent her only child off the university, let me just say what a colossal relief it is that it does not effect my current account. The trips are nice, but a luxury they will have to afford for themselves.

Talk to your kids and find out what they want. In my case, I would have chosen savings for college over a trip or a present any day (and I did).

It's certainly not your responsibility to pay for their college education, but tuition is very, very expensive. I would not be able to pay my current tuition by myself even if I somehow had a full-time job. I was lucky enough to have multiple family members pitch in so I could attend my college. In a way, this motivates me to do better far more than paying my own way through a cheaper school would. If I slacked off in that other scenario, I'd just be hurting myself. But a lot of other people put their faith and savings into my education, so I'd better not let everyone down.

Anyway, I know that a lot of people are talking about how they'd prefer the "experience" of travel, etc. Remember, college is an experience too (and study abroad programs would give your kids an opportunity to travel). There's a lot more to college than simple job preparation. I'm one of the kids who's getting a degree that probably won't make me a lot of money (and before you start yelling about women's studies, it's a degree in physics, guys. There's less money in science than you'd think), but I love it, I love the work, I love where I am, and I wouldn't trade these four years for any other "enrichment activities" that I can think of.

*steps off soapbox*

3. Don't sacrifice the education your kids need for one that does them no good. I admire your desire for your kids to have these wonderful and irreplaceable experiences, but a high school diploma just doesn't cut it anymore.

I dont think they are sacraficing their kids education at all. They are giving them more knowledge by traveling and sending them away then a book could ever teach them. Just because they are choosing to have different experiences than paying for college doesnt mean their sacraficing their education....

She flat out asked if she should save money for her kids' education or spend it on camp and vacations. I skipped first grade and was home schooled until high school. I know about "different experiences". Her kids are too young to fully appreciate or remember what they're learning. These vacations are most likely not providing her kids with anything of real or lasting value (besides pictures), especially when compared to a college education.

Your experiences are different than the ones she wants to give her kids. Its different travling across the states and Canada than it is traveling to China. I was 5 when i went to the Martin Luther King Jr Museum, I remember it without pictures and I remember what is so significant (I am Canadian , so we were never really taught about Martin Luther King Jr...). I am the same age as you and I am so thankful my parents did what they had done for me.

I paid my own way through school, so did my husband, it took us 9 years to pay off the debt we incurred. We have savings for our son, it will not pay for everything, we want him to have to work for part of it but he won't finish school in massive debt. We compromise on the life experiences. He does not miss out but does not do everything. He has to choose what he most wants to do. Sports is a must, he is always active in one sport. He does day camp in the summer but only for 2 weeks and he chooses the camp.

I just know how hard it was for my husband and I to make ends meet and pay back all our loans at the same time. Once you finish school that degree gets you into a company but not at a high paying position.

3. Don't sacrifice the education your kids need for one that does them no good. I admire your desire for your kids to have these wonderful and irreplaceable experiences, but a high school diploma just doesn't cut it anymore.

I dont think they are sacraficing their kids education at all. They are giving them more knowledge by traveling and sending them away then a book could ever teach them. Just because they are choosing to have different experiences than paying for college doesnt mean their sacraficing their education....

She flat out asked if she should save money for her kids' education or spend it on camp and vacations. I skipped first grade and was home schooled until high school. I know about "different experiences". Her kids are too young to fully appreciate or remember what they're learning. These vacations are most likely not providing her kids with anything of real or lasting value (besides pictures), especially when compared to a college education.

Your experiences are different than the ones she wants to give her kids. Its different travling across the states and Canada than it is traveling to China. I was 5 when i went to the Martin Luther King Jr Museum, I remember it without pictures and I remember what is so significant (I am Canadian , so we were never really taught about Martin Luther King Jr...). I am the same age as you and I am so thankful my parents did what they had done for me.

I don't know how it works in Canada *(because I was seven years old when I was there and all I remember was that it was cold, and that a pigeon slept on the patio of our hotel)* but here in the states, people who can't afford to finish school have two options: construction work, or food service - and even then, I think many construction jobs require an AA. If she wants her kids to make $7.25 an hour for 15 hours a week of flipping burgers, that's her choice. She's talking about sending them to Ivy League schools, and you can't do that on $5,655.00 a year. What lessons or certificates were you awarded by traveling that will land you a job? I've been to more museums than anyone I know, and more states, but I'm making a whopping $12.95 an hour. I couldn't even afford to live alone on what I'm making. I need my degree to get a job that I can afford to live on.

My current job (the one i got after paying for my own college education, which i make $32000 before taxes) has commented numerous times how my travels when i was younger have helped. You learn how to deal with people from all cultures, you learn customs and tolerance for others. you learn things that a history or geography book will never teach you. It gives you something you can talk about with people. I can talk to more people about my travels than about my education.

Its pretty much the same here, but we also have the oil rigs.... not sure how much people are paid tho. I think here in Alberta the minimum wage is $9.95....

I supply my children with food and shelter. Can't really afford much else.

Yep. I could never imagine being able to take an educational trip to anywhere. I can barely afford to take a trip to the grocery store.

OP, since you are fortunate enough to have $$ to be able to decide, I would do both. Take smaller more affordable trips and start a smaller more affordable tuition savings. Balance the two.

My husband likes big family vacations and I'd rather save the money for our kids' futures, so we compromise. My entire childhood I only went on one vacation (and it wasn't even with my own family) to Cedar Point. I don't feel like I missed out on anything. My husband, though, grew up going on family vacations frequently, so he's grown accustomed to that lifestyle and seems to forever be planning our next vacation. :laugh:

Every childhood has memories, and the fond ones only have to cost as much as you want them to.

3. Don't sacrifice the education your kids need for one that does them no good. I admire your desire for your kids to have these wonderful and irreplaceable experiences, but a high school diploma just doesn't cut it anymore.

I dont think they are sacraficing their kids education at all. They are giving them more knowledge by traveling and sending them away then a book could ever teach them. Just because they are choosing to have different experiences than paying for college doesnt mean their sacraficing their education....

She flat out asked if she should save money for her kids' education or spend it on camp and vacations. I skipped first grade and was home schooled until high school. I know about "different experiences". Her kids are too young to fully appreciate or remember what they're learning. These vacations are most likely not providing her kids with anything of real or lasting value (besides pictures), especially when compared to a college education.

Your experiences are different than the ones she wants to give her kids. Its different travling across the states and Canada than it is traveling to China. I was 5 when i went to the Martin Luther King Jr Museum, I remember it without pictures and I remember what is so significant (I am Canadian , so we were never really taught about Martin Luther King Jr...). I am the same age as you and I am so thankful my parents did what they had done for me.

I don't know how it works in Canada *(because I was seven years old when I was there and all I remember was that it was cold, and that a pigeon slept on the patio of our hotel)* but here in the states, people who can't afford to finish school have two options: construction work, or food service - and even then, I think many construction jobs require an AA. If she wants her kids to make $7.25 an hour for 15 hours a week of flipping burgers, that's her choice. She's talking about sending them to Ivy League schools, and you can't do that on $5,655.00 a year. What lessons or certificates were you awarded by traveling that will land you a job? I've been to more museums than anyone I know, and more states, but I'm making a whopping $12.95 an hour. I couldn't even afford to live alone on what I'm making. I need my degree to get a job that I can afford to live on.

My current job (the one i got after paying for my own college education) has commented numerous times how my travels when i was younger have helped. You learn how to deal with people from all cultures, you learn customs and tolerance for others. you learn things that a history or geography book will never teach you. It gives you something you can talk about with people. I can talk to more people about my travels than about my education.

Its pretty much the same here, but we also have the oil rigs.... not sure how much people are paid tho. I think here in Alberta the minimum wage is $9.95....

Unfortunately, that's not the case here. I wish it were. First of all, being intolerant is seemingly accepted among certain groups. Did you hear about the young lady who won the Miss America pageant? She's an American-born person of Indian descent, and yet quite a few people felt that this was wrong. Why? Because, by their "logic", brown-skinned people are not "American". Of course, many of these idiots also think all brown-skinned people are the same; their major objection was how an "Arab" or "Muslim" could win such a title on/around September 11th.

You're right that people learn things in life that a book can't teach. However, treating people equally and with respect comes mostly from good parenting, not traveling. I live near Chicago. My high school's racial make-up was:


White: 43.1%
African American: 8.0%
Asian: 34.8%
Hispanic: 11.5%
American Indian: 0.2%
Two or more races: 2.1%

I already had experience with other customs and traditions well before high school, and my parents had already impressed upon me - by three or four years old - that everyone is different, and everyone still deserves respect. Also, the OP said that her kids are still very young. I don't know how young exactly, but I really don't understand how a four-year-old or even an eight-year-old (for example) would remember the actual facts of the trip. The experience, certainly, but if this is supposed to supplement an education, then I don't see it as an effective way of doing things. I also don't see it as cost-effective. At those ages, a parent could play a DVD or take the kids to a museum and have the same effect, and spend a lot less money than they would on a trip half-way across the world to see a wall. In ten years, the kids are not going to remember how long it is and why, when, or how it was built.

3. Don't sacrifice the education your kids need for one that does them no good. I admire your desire for your kids to have these wonderful and irreplaceable experiences, but a high school diploma just doesn't cut it anymore.

I dont think they are sacraficing their kids education at all. They are giving them more knowledge by traveling and sending them away then a book could ever teach them. Just because they are choosing to have different experiences than paying for college doesnt mean their sacraficing their education....

Maybe and maybe not. My 12 y.o. nephew is provided all the opportunity in the world to experience these "enrichment activities"...he's basically traveled the world and expereicned things that many, if not most of us could only dream...he could give a rats *kitten*...all he wants to do is hang with his friends. It's torture to him to travel to Europe for a few weeks...it was pure missery for him when he went off to camp last year for 4 weeks to learn about the desert.

I think we as adults want to do these things for our children and think they will actually appreciate it because we, now as adults would appreciate it...but would we have appreciated it when we were 12 or would we have just wanted to stay home and play with our friends?

I was 13 when I traveled to Europe (Germany, Denmark and Sweden) and thought it was amazing... But, my mum is from England and my dad's dad immmigrated here from Scotland. So maybe thats why I enjoyed it? because i grew up hearing stories about these places.
It could just be different parenting styles and such, but i know everytime i went overseas (13-19) I was excited and loved every minute of it.

Both good points. I think that it depends on the child(ren), too, and how they feel about these activities. Also, my point was taken out of context, as the point before it was that most young children will not remember the educational aspects several years down the road. They will remember the experience, but they most likely will forget how long the Great Wall of China is, and why, how, and when it was built. I'm not saying there is no value to these activities, but taking one's very young children to these places does NOT have the same value or use in society as having a college degree. In my mind, there is honestly no comparison between being the six-year-old with the most time spent in a plane, and getting a college education that will hopefully result in the ability to support oneself.

My current job (the one i got after paying for my own college education, which i make $32000 before taxes) has commented numerous times how my travels when i was younger have helped. You learn how to deal with people from all cultures, you learn customs and tolerance for others. you learn things that a history or geography book will never teach you. It gives you something you can talk about with people. I can talk to more people about my travels than about my education.

Its pretty much the same here, but we also have the oil rigs.... not sure how much people are paid tho. I think here in Alberta the minimum wage is $9.95....

You edited this, so I wanted to respond to this as well. You got your job and that acceptable paycheck because you completed school and got a degree. Did your employer have any idea when you got hired about your childhood travels? Even if they did, are you saying that going to the Martin Luther King Jr. museum when you were five years old is the reason you got your job and that paycheck?

And, again, people don't need to travel to learn to treat people with respect. They should be taught that very early by their parents or guardian, and that adult should lead by example. Traveling doesn't teach respect for other customs; a couple of days in another country only exposes you to new people and a new language, and that's hardly enough time to build tolerance or understanding for a new people or culture. White Americans and Black and brown Americans have lived together for a couple hundred years. Hundreds of years together, and still not nearly enough tolerance, respect, or understanding. I don't think it makes a difference whether you take a plane or spend a lot of money; tolerance is learned, not bought or acquired on a road trip or flight.

why is there no option for "hookers and blow"?

That's precisely what I was thinking...

Heehee ok on a serious note, I've got some thoughts from the perspective of a current collegiate. Honestly I think you need to strike a balance. Sure I wish my folks had blown bucketloads of money on expensive trips and camps, but being able to choose almost any college in the country thanks to their savings and all the merit scholarships I'd earned was far more important to me. I would've been heartbroken had I gotten into Cornell and wasn't able to go for financial reasons.

So a few thoughts:
1) a lot of enrichment activities are not guaranteed wallet-drainers. In high school I volunteered at two hospitals, was in 3 community service clubs, did 2 sports and many other activities that lent to a killer resume and invaluable learning experiences.
2) day trips are great! My folks really drilled into our heads the value of travel and appreciation of culture. Shocker: there's a lot to be learned from our own history right here in the States. I've lived overseas so I'll admit, yes that is about as enriching as it gets, but there is a ton to be learned at nearby historical sites, national parks, and city museums.
3) no reason your kids can't chip in. I worked 2 jobs all through high school. By the time I'd finished applying to various colleges and merit scholarships, I'd written over 35 different essays. Hard work pays off. You can have your cake and eat it too! But only one slice because this is mfp:)

Moral of the story: college savings and enrichment activities are not mutually exclusive unless you make them. Which is just silly.