I can't help myself

after trying and failing several times, here's what i can give you:

1. you have to want it. I never wanted it despite thinking i did. I was not willing to work for it like i am now. I am exercising, sweating, counting calories and losing.

2. you have to have accountability. I have a co-worker, my trainer, and my husband to help me for when i feel like going off track.

3. you have to find time. I go to graduate school and work full time. I work out at lunch for 30 min with a trainer 2-3 times a week, do group classes on weekends and with my husband two nights a week. If i can do it with my commitments and family, anyone can do it.

4. you need it to be fun- i so get that. grab a buddy, make a friend, join a group class and find something you like doing. I love weights and water so i do both when i can. if you like to dance- try zumba, something slow-paced- try yoga. most gyms have something for everyone and when you go often enough, people remember you and there is accountability there.

hope this helps and good luck to you, remember no matter how much you exercise (or don't) a crap diet will tank all your work.

I'd starve myself if I could.

"My advice in most situations is to just keep moving. Never surrender. Never give up."

Sound familiar? It's copied from your profile. Great advice.
Don't allow your excuses to be your reason to surrender and give up.
There's been such wonderful advice given to you from others who have been in this same place as you. You are not alone. Losing weight will not only make you feel better physically, it will make you feel better mentally. Don't look at the big number for now. Just make a small goal. 10 lbs. You want to hit 10 lbs. Then, once you do, go for 10 more. Then 10 more. It adds up quickly!

Slow & Easy Way:
~ Substitute 2 bad things you eat a day for 2 good things.
~ Drink more water.
~ Start walking. I'm not sure of your physical condition, but if it means to the end of your driveway and back that gets you out of breath - do that. If its down the street, do that. Do that several times a week. Then, the next week, try to go just a little bit more. And a little bit more. Recognize your tiny accomplishments. Celebrate those (not with food). Just that mental "Oh yeah, I just did that!"

Faster and Not Quite so Easy but a LOT Easier than You Think Way:
Go here: scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/‎
Take the TDEE and eat 300-500 calories less than that number.
Be okay with sweating a little, a few days a week.
Give it one month, one honest month of trying, and then see how you feel.

I hated to sweat too - with a passion. I hated for people to see me with a red face. I'm pale and I almost turn purple from exercise. I used to not be able to walk up and down my street without having to stop halfway up the hill to catch my breath. (now I walk and am beginning to run that loop 10+ times) I have fought clinical depression for 25 years, medicated for 25 years. I am no longer on those meds and doing great. Would I give that up to sit back on the couch and fight all of those self-destructive thoughts constantly hammering at me in exchange for a purple face and the sweat creeping down my back a few days a week? No, its not a good exchange for me anymore.

Is losing weight and exercising all fun? No way.
Is it comfortable? No, not really. But honestly ask yourself. Are you truly comfortable now?

Will it become fun and comfortable? Yes, if you keep at it.
Will you begin to love it? Absolutely, if you allow yourself to.

You can do it, if only you put your mind to it.

Good luck!

I'd starve myself if I could.

OK, so now I call BS.

That is depression talking and over-exaggerating. There's literally nothing stopping you from starving yourself if that's what you really wanted to do. Obviously, you don't really want to do that or you'd already be doing it. That's good, but you need to stop throwing out these blocks if you want to move forward.

Good news is, you don't have to sweat to lose weight. Manage what you eat, and that will do it for you.

Better news: when you start losing weight, you should start feeling better, and it'll maybe help with lifting that depression.

Best news: when you feel better about yourself, you should be motivated to do things to keep that feeling going. Like looking back on this thread and taking some of the fine advice for finding exercise you think is fun, or exercise where you don't need to sweat.

ETA: I lift heavy, and don't sweat. I stand in the path of a fan while I do it - keeps me cold enough to keep the sweat at bay. Yeah, I'm not a fan of sweating, either, but I'll do it when I have to. Comes of living where it's so damn hot there's no avoiding it for much of the year.

Don't give up before you've even started! You can do it, you just really need to want it.

I'm 4 stone overweight, I don't particularly like working out but I'm getting there, I feel a sense of pride after I've worked out because I did it! I'm doing the 30 day shred and most days I sit there and literally argue with myself, going back and forth with excuses. But I just get up and do it!

When you want something and you are really ready for it, you find a way to make it happen. Until then, you find excuses.

In order to make a change in your life, you have to willing to be uncomfortable.

Two simple questions: Are you ready? Are you willing?

You can lose weight without working out... You just need to eat less than you burn in a day however working out will help your loss along and make you feel better.. Honest!

Working out doesn't have to be in a gym, running around a track or sweating to a DVD... How about when you do the housework crank the music up loud dance and jump around as you are doing it.. sing your heart out and bop along to the music.. so long as you get atleast a little warm and out of breath you are doing something which is better than nothing!

Good luck!

I agree with this. Obviously the OP isn't 100% motivated to work out (maybe 10% hehe) but perhaps in time, after seeing small successes from the above, that will come.

I'm sorry, but I asked for motivation and advice. Not people belittling me for being depressed (not sad, there's a difference) and lazy. I don't feel any more compelled to work out after hearing that I need to stop whining.

But that's the point. There is nothing that we can say that is going to make you magically want to workout. Nothing in the world.

It has to come from within. That's how everyone here did it, and we can only advise you from our own experience.

No one I know gets up at the crack of dawn and runs 10k just because someone on their newsfeed will say 'great burn!' when they get back. They do it because they are disciplined, and they know that it's what's needed to reach their goal.

No one is trying to be mean. They are trying to get you to the point where you realize inside yourself what needs to be done, and you get out there and do it. Everyone on MFP wants to see everyone else succeed. No matter how mean they sometimes may sound.

My challenge to you is to prove people who have called you lazy wrong. Choose a day this week, schedule a workout (whatever you want to do as a workout, even a mile walk), and do it. Do it because you need to, not because it will make you happy.

THS!!!^^^^^

I don't think they are trying to be mean... I agree that it’s hard to find motivation outside of yourself... I had to hit rock bottom in order to say "enough is enough and I’m not going to take it anymore!!" There was no one telling me to work out twice a day there was just me telling me to get my fat but up because I’m the only one who can do it for me!

Now having friend’s on MFP is great support and seeing everyone else post their workouts is motivating BUT you have to want to get up and do it yourself for yourself

Losing weight is hard.. I know it’s been said but it is and each person's journey is different. Start slow, find what works for you and stick to it! Slowly build on to your routine and you'll see progress!


Good Luck!

As someone who has dealt with mental health issues for the past dozen years you have my every sympathy. In the past 12 years I've yoyo'd from a healthy weight to grossly underweight to morbidly obese. It's no surprise that my mental health was up and down along with my weight. i dealt with wrong diagnosis and wrong meds which led to 3 different breakdowns over the years. I've lost jobs and friends. I've had those days where the thought of just living a normal life (getting out of bed, getting dressed, going to work, cooking dinner) felt like too much to bear. Of course I wasn't motivated to eat right or exercise. I wasn't motivated enough to care for my basic functions!

Then a huge turning point came. I got a proper diagnosis (bi-polar) and the right meds, and some therapy in the beginning and for the first time in my life I actually care about caring for myself. I care that I'm fat. I want to lose weight. I don't have the demons in my head making me anxious, or manic, or depressed.

I've even found that working out makes me feel great! I love the runners high that I get. I love the feeling after a great work out when I'm sweaty and gross.

I still struggle to stay motivated and to eat healthy. Just this morning I was looking for excuses to not do my C25K run. Then I saw pictures from myself at a recent wedding (I look gross), and I came to my fitness pass to look at the success stories and all I can think about is getting to the gym.

To sum up my long winded advice; you need to get your mental health in check before you can expect to be motivated to get your physical health in check. Until that happens: fake it. Do it even if you don't want to. Force yourself. You may hate every second of it but as long as you do it who cares? Even if all you do is take a leisurely stroll around the block you've accomplished something.

I wish you all the best on your road to a healthy mental and physical lifestyle.

Like everyone is saying, the desire to change has to come from within yourself. However, I'd just like to say that when I first lost weight, I did it without exercising a single day. I don't recommend it as a long term solution because exercise is extremely important to your health, but if your biggest problem is just that you hate exercising... Don't exercise for a month or two and just focus on your calories. I think once you start seeing results you'll WANT to exercise, but regardless, you'll be losing weight.