I can't help myself

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Replies

  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    I'm sorry, but I asked for motivation and advice. Not people belittling me for being depressed (not sad, there's a difference) and lazy. I don't feel any more compelled to work out after hearing that I need to stop whining.

    Nowhere in your original post did you mention depression, so you may be able to see how people misunderstood your situation.

    I have been dealing with depression for thirty years, and I can tell you this: seeking external motivation will not change anything. It has to come from within you. Work on changing your mind...your thoughts control your actions. It took me two years of changing my thought process before I was even able to begin losing weight. Best of luck.
  • LatentColors
    LatentColors Posts: 36
    I'm sorry, but I asked for motivation and advice. Not people belittling me for being depressed (not sad, there's a difference) and lazy. I don't feel any more compelled to work out after hearing that I need to stop whining.


    I don't blame you. I'm guessing you're already saying these things to yourself; I know, I've been there. I think some have already said it, if so, I'll repeat: why don't you just put exercise on the back burner for now? You can lose weight without exercising at all. I found that once I'd lost a good bit of weight from diet alone, it gave me some motivation to want to start exercising.

    I was exactly like you -- I used to absolutely DESPISE any type of physical exertion. It has been nothing less than a miracle that at the ripe old age of 44 I actually began, VERY SLOWLY, to enjoy it. But again, for now, forget exercise and just focus one day at a time on getting a calorie deficit.

    One more thing... try to look in the mirror every day and find one thing about yourself that you like (or at least don't hate) - your eyes? your hair? or maybe just that you're a great friend or daughter? Try to love yourself where you're at. It's too easy for us to beat ourselves up and say horrible hateful things to ourselves that we would never say to a friend or coworker. Imagine that when you're looking in the mirror that you're talking to a friend --- how would you encourage a friend who's in your shoes?

    Take it one day at a time and celebrate your small successes!

    Oh my god. I ****ing love you. Like dead serious. All these people on here are saying that "people on the internet" can't do anything to motivate me. Well I kindly say "get out" to them. The fact that you're not blaming me makes me feel so much happier amidst all these people telling me to stop whining and to "really want it" when I already ****ing really want it. I'm gonna look at the mirror after my run tonight and do as you say. I'll try, anyways. I won't put off exercising, but I'm not going over exert myself like some of the kinder people think I will. I know my limits. C:

    Edit: I wanted to bold that whole first sentence, but I don't know how.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    this is either troll thread, or attention seeking thread....
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    this is either troll thread, or attention seeking thread....

    At least it's reminded me why I stopped trying to help people.
  • LatentColors
    LatentColors Posts: 36
    this is either troll thread, or attention seeking thread....

    No, I'm being dead serious. I created the thread when I was feeling sad like an hour or two ago. I'm feeling better now. And I hate people like you who yell "attention seeking." If I wanted your attention, you'd be hearing about how **** my life is. Get off my post.
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    this is either troll thread, or attention seeking thread....

    No, I'm being dead serious. I created the thread when I was feeling sad like an hour or two ago. I'm feeling better now. And I hate people like you who yell "attention seeking." If I wanted your attention, you'd be hearing about how **** my life is. Get off my post.

    Just please, when the external motivation wears off and you are struggling again to find a reason to go to the gym, remember what everyone has said here. Motivation is a very small part of the process, and it's not enough alone.

    Some people have been blunt to the point of rudeness, for sure, but these are people who know what they are talking about, and they are actually trying to help you no matter how it seems. If it helps, get pissed at them, and prove them wrong by succeeding.

    I genuinely wish you every success.
  • barkin43
    barkin43 Posts: 508 Member
    I feel your pain. When you actually find a solution, please post it here and maybe motivate others of us who are experiencing a similar situation. Sorry I don't have any advice you haven't already heard. There are many good suggestions here, and I may follow some of the sound advice I've read here, but the depression really does get in the way. Beating depression is not as easy as some people think. It has to be experienced to be able to understand how debilitating it can be. Best wishes for success.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,854 Member
    this is either troll thread, or attention seeking thread....

    No, I'm being dead serious. I created the thread when I was feeling sad like an hour or two ago. I'm feeling better now. And I hate people like you who yell "attention seeking." If I wanted your attention, you'd be hearing about how **** my life is. Get off my post.
    Next time try a blog post which is yours. You don't get to own the thread just because you started it.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    Okay, you're right. You can't help yourself. It's hopeless.

    Feel better now?
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    You got some great advice on this thread. I find it sad that you decided to just focus on all the negative ones except the ONE post you liked that said you didn't have to exercise to lose weight. Which you don't have to but it does help it along.

    Maybe instead of focusing on all the ones you perceived as negative you should relook at all the other comments with an open mind. People were honest and blunt and you may have perceived that as negative but that's your perception. People don't always sugar coat it because day in and day out we see these threads and try to help the person only to be told we are mean or rude because it wasn't typed how the OP would like it or its not what they want to hear. I'm not saying there aren't some posts here that were uncalled for such as the troll comment. That was uncalled for.

    For years I whined about being fat, wanted to lose weight and had excuses after excuses, I'd constantly beat myself up. I think a lot if us who have posted have dealt with this so when they are saying stop making excuses or whining its out of their own experience. We all just want to help and we can share and try to steer others in a direction towards help, however they have to do it themselves. They have to want it, find their own motivation and then go for it and don't let anything stand in their way.

    One thing I've learned over the last 15 months you can't control others but you can control how you react. It's hard to do but once you start putting that into practice it gets easier.

    This post isn't trying to make you feel bad just trying to point out that maybe you should start trying to change what you focus on. Instead of focusing on the negative comments try focusing on all the others that are full of great advice and tips. Read them and figure out which ones would work for you and which you could apply to your own life that would be sustainable for the rest if your life.

    I wish you luck and hope one day you can revisit this post and get more out of it other than the perceived negative posts.
  • erin1276
    erin1276 Posts: 38 Member
    I'm sorry, but I asked for motivation and advice. Not people belittling me for being depressed (not sad, there's a difference) and lazy. I don't feel any more compelled to work out after hearing that I need to stop whining.

    I have read through a lot of these responses and these people are DEFINITELY trying to motivate you and they are giving excellent advice. The fact is- we ALL had to choose to stop whining, stop being lazy.... You shouldn't need anyone to feel compelled to work out- it's all for you, all your work. Now, for being depressed, I understand what a challenge that is. You are in therapy and clearly you are taking steps to feel better. Part of that is controlling your life and that includes your physical health. You need to take control. I hate hard core working out. Since I know that about myself I make sure I go walking. I picked up some awesome walking DVD's... Leslie Sansone- terrific gal btw.... Anyway- what it all boils down to is in order to have a healthy lifestyle- you need to get moving in SOME way. You need to watch what you eat. It's all about making healthy choices. And this forum has SO many wonderful people.... don't alienate them when YOU'RE the one asking for help.

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