The awesomest thing your kid has ever said...

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  • amy_lynn_522
    amy_lynn_522 Posts: 55 Member
    My son is 13 now but I have two stories from when he was younger...

    I've always been a driver who gets angry at other drivers who do stupid stuff. When he was 4 we were driving and someone cut me off. I honked the horn and a few minutes later he pipes up with, "Aren't you going to call them a jack *kitten*?" Stunned I said, "What?" To which he replied, "when you honk you call them a jack *kitten*, aren't you going to call them a jack *kitten*?" After that I started saying "Bad driver!" One day he pipes up with, "Is everyone a bad driver but you mom?"

    When he was 5 we were talking about different meats and what animals they come from. We got through pigs give us bacon and ham, cows give us steak and hamburgers, chickens give us chicken nuggets. So my son says, "I must be a carnivore - I like eating things with faces."
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,870 Member
    I've posted this before. . actually a couple times. . but I love it. .so here it is again: This took place when my kid was 5:

    So my kid sometimes requires me to squat in front of the toilet while he's on it and he lays his head down on my knees. . .don't ask. .

    Anyway, he's laying down on my knees and he says "I like yours better, because when mommy does it, my head goes down there and I smell something weird. ."

    I almost choked to death at this point but I manage to say: "Oh really Russell, what does it smell like?". .

    "I dunno. . Dead Squirrels?"

    (don't worry, we're already divorced ) ;))
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,124 Member
    I've posted this before. . actually a couple times. . but I love it. .so here it is again: This took place when my kid was 5:

    So my kid sometimes requires me to squat in front of the toilet while he's on it and he lays his head down on my knees. . .don't ask. .

    Anyway, he's laying down on my knees and he says "I like yours better, because when mommy does it, my head goes down there and I smell something weird. ."

    I almost choked to death at this point but I manage to say: "Oh really Russell, what does it smell like?". .

    "I dunno. . Dead Squirrels?"

    (don't worry, we're already divorced ) ;))

    BAHHAHAHAHHAHAH. but why does your kiddo lay his head down on your knees? while he's going #2....
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,870 Member
    I've posted this before. . actually a couple times. . but I love it. .so here it is again: This took place when my kid was 5:

    So my kid sometimes requires me to squat in front of the toilet while he's on it and he lays his head down on my knees. . .don't ask. .

    Anyway, he's laying down on my knees and he says "I like yours better, because when mommy does it, my head goes down there and I smell something weird. ."

    I almost choked to death at this point but I manage to say: "Oh really Russell, what does it smell like?". .

    "I dunno. . Dead Squirrels?"

    (don't worry, we're already divorced ) ;))

    BAHHAHAHAHHAHAH. but why does your kiddo lay his head down on your knees? while he's going #2....

    Luckily he's over that.. lol. .
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
    The other day, I threw the football back to the kids in the street when it was kicked my way. One of my son's friend commented that I know how to throw a football. My son (15) said, "who do you think taught me to throw? It was my mom."

    Stupid but since he is 15, I was kinda proud he admitted it. :smile:
  • Loasaur
    Loasaur Posts: 125
    It wasn't my son, but my little brother who was 8 or 9 at the time. I was helping him do his homework and something about his homework brought up the discussion of our new house (that we just moved into) and I asked him if he remembered all the boxes that we had to move and he just got this lost expression on his face, paused for a moment, and then said, with the straightest face, "Do I remember boxes? Lauren...I don't even know how I got here..." I couldn't stop laughing for a good 20 minutes.

    Another funny one of my brother was when he had some dirt on his upper lip. Me and my boyfriend called him over and were like, "Evan, you need to wash your face, you've got some dirt on your lip." He points to his upper lip, "Oh, what? This?" "Yeah!" Then he looked in the mirror, "Oh no, this" he points again, "this is my stain." but said it with the weirdest accent. I was like, "What...like a mustache?" "No! A STAIN! Sta-ayneeeeeee."
  • This is the most awesome that I've heard recently.

    My 6 yo son gives me a hug and snuggles in and says, "Is this what heaven feels like?" Just the sweetest thing ever! :heart:
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,859 Member
    i dont have kids, but my dog is adorable and precocious!
  • glassgallm
    glassgallm Posts: 276 Member
    Many years ago, my daughter was about 3 and was acting up. It was near Christmas time so I tried the old "Santa doesn't bring presents to kids who don't behave" line. She looked me right in the eye and said "Santa Claus liked me last year...."
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,681 Member
    Lots of them!
    My third daughter, shivering in her towel with shuddering teeth said, "My teeth are squabbling!"
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
    Van Halen - Panama came on the radio the other day. He pipes up, "Oh yeah! Van Halen! Oh yeah, people!"

    He's only 6. Rock on.

    Just wanted to comment you on parenting done right :drinker:
    Rock on..........
  • My 8 year old daughter and I were listening to the radio on the way to school the other day. An advertisement came on for a local college and how you could earn your bachelor's degree. My daughter asked: "do ladies earn a bachelorette's degree?" Guess I never thought of it that way... :-)
  • " my 3 year old princess "daddy I love you, your the best daddy ever"
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
    My son who was 5 at the time stopped a young lady in the mall to ask her "Why are you so pretty?"
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 758 Member
    If we could only turn back the hands of time.. smh

    My eldest (19 now), one Christmas while I was on deployment my wife asked her what she thought daddy wanted for Christmas (she was four at the time) and she proudly said "Sasha daddy wants Sasha"... Still brightens my heart to this day.
  • MuskCats
    MuskCats Posts: 21 Member
    Not my kid, but my niece once told me, " Musk, why do the lights turn off each time I blink? "
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 758 Member
    The other day, I threw the football back to the kids in the street when it was kicked my way. One of my son's friend commented that I know how to throw a football. My son (15) said, "who do you think taught me to throw? It was my mom."

    Stupid but since he is 15, I was kinda proud he admitted it. :smile:

    LoL - Guys are all over this one (his friends) - Like, no wonder you throw like a girl.. ha ha ha
  • running_free_1984
    running_free_1984 Posts: 115 Member
    My child was a freakishly early talker with an enormous vocabulary.

    When he was three, I was teasing him about something and he said, "Mom, you're really irritating me right now."
    I replied, "I'm supposed to, I'm your mother."
    He cocked his head to one side, stared at me for a moment, and said, "No, that's just a misconception."

    Did I mention that he was only THREE?!?!

    EPIC!

    when my oldest was 3, I asked him a question about dinosaurs... his reply "Well, I have a hypothesis......."

    My daughter will be three on Monday, last week she told her grandmother, 'no, throw it away, its a dispensable part'. Out of the blue two minutes later she says, 'i have principles'. I don't know where she picks this stuff up!
  • Fit_NYC_
    Fit_NYC_ Posts: 1,389 Member
    Hmmm, I guess there's a few from my 5 yr. old.

    Sweet: "You're the bestest daddy in the whole world!" - get's me every time

    Embarrassing: "Daddy she has big elbows... she's like Ursula" - said loud while on line in a RiteAid

    Just Kick *kitten*:
    Me - "So you were stalking your friend?"
    Her - "No I wasn't, I was just following her... she didn't see me and I didn't tell her"
  • sypop
    sypop Posts: 102 Member
    " MOM EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE REALLY OLD, YOUR STILL CUTE"
    FROM MY 4 YEAR OLD DIVA DAUGHTER