Women, would you take this offensively?

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Replies

  • moosegt35
    moosegt35 Posts: 1,296 Member
    not EVERYTHING is about men vs. women. I work out and i do the weights. as a matter of fact, when i asked the female instructor to show me how to use the free weights she kept trying to convince me that "it's too much for you". i finally just did it on my own. I take off plates when I can, and if i know that I can't, i ask for help - there is no shame in that. I can't lift the 40 kg plates because I am not strong enough yet - NOT because I am a weak woman. trust me - there are plenty of males in the world who can't lift 4 kilo, let alone FORTY.

    PEOPLE (not specifically men or women) in the weight rooms will leave you alone for the most part. if you ask for help they will usually help. if you ask for help on a specific move or they will show you how it's done.

    You know men who can't lift 8.8 pounds? Are they in diapers still?
  • woodwardtm
    woodwardtm Posts: 361 Member
    I suppose it depends on the tone of his voice or how he said it.
    If you are going to go to lift and don't know how to remove the weights or can't, you would be further ahead to ask for help. That way you are not struggling and people aren't staring wondering if you need help or if they should offer. Ask the gym attendant to show you the proper way to remove it/change it or ask if a member has time to show you how it is done. When you are not struggling with it, you will feel better about going and can do what you need to without feeling self-conscious. Don't give up. Everyone starts somewhere!
  • sarah_lou22
    sarah_lou22 Posts: 79
    I think that it was nice of him to help you -- at least there is that :) he does need to work on his delivery though haha
  • jstarz002
    jstarz002 Posts: 176
    I would have said "NO THANKS, IVE GOT IT". You have to be assertive and aggressive. If you don't want help then it's perfectly fine to say NO.

    As for me I would have been EXTREMELY offended but that is because I take pride in being strong and not needing help from anyone. Btw, I am under 100 lbs and carry a 45lb plate with one hand when re-racking so I DEF do not need any man helping me with the weight... 45 lbs is light for me despite my small size.

    I don't give anyone even an opportunity to help me or give me advice. It's either "NO THANKS" or "NO THANKS, I do not need your unsolicited advice" all without EVER taking out my headphones. Or simply point to your headphones and say "I AM BUSY". The only thing i will respond to at the gym is when someone asks me how many sets i have left and i also do not bother to take out my earbuds; i just hod up my fingers and say "3 sets left". That's it.
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
    Too much read
  • VoicelessRide
    VoicelessRide Posts: 395 Member
    Okay so I RARELY go to the weight room when I'm at the gym. I've only been there probably 3-4 times in my life. You know why? Probably all of the reasons why all you women are afraid of also, getting stared at by men and not being able to know how to use the equipment correctly. Well anyways I was trying to lift heavy to do some squats. I noticed that someone left 45 lb weights on the dumbell so I tried to remove it. I was struggling for some reason and it was taking me a while to remove it. I was getting really self-concious because I felt like men were staring at me as if I was in idiot. And guess what?! I was right, this man in his 40's went up to me and said, "I just saw you trying to take those weights off and I can't take this anymore, I should help you remove those weights because it's going to take you half an hour to take that off." I just felt embarassed.... I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to the weight room anymore, I think I'm just going to use free weights and the lighter dumbells in the stretching area instead! I feel like he underestimated my strength as if I am a weak small girl. I am a strong women not weak... Would you women feel offended? And men, do you find this rude?

    Do not let idiots change your personal goals,,,,I know i would have respectfully helped you
  • VeganLexi
    VeganLexi Posts: 960 Member
    I wouldn't get offended...

    If I was unable to remove the weight, I would have asked him to help me (or someone else nearby).
  • Microfiber
    Microfiber Posts: 956 Member
    I'm female and I found it hilarious :laugh: :laugh:
  • Lemongrab1
    Lemongrab1 Posts: 158 Member
    Maybe I'm reading into this wrong, or maybe I'm just a *kitten*, but it sounds to me like you need to buck up a bit.
    You went in there with the mindset that you were too weak to fit in with the men, then got bent out of shape when someone pointed out you were indeed too weak (at the moment) to fit in with the men.
    If you are indeed a 'strong woman', then go back there and keep on practising until you improve your strength.
    You don't need to be able to squat a tankard on your first day. Take it a step at a time.
  • JaxDemon
    JaxDemon Posts: 403 Member
    Tbh if there's a guy who knows what he's doing with the weights and you want to learn how to use them and someone comes up to help you I would find it the perfect opportunity to pick the guys brains even if he is a douche. Remember you're at the Gym for you not him so it's beneficial to your life to learn.
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
    I think it would have been more polite of him to offer to help without the condescension, but I wouldn't find it offensive if someone stated that I can't lift something that I can't lift. That's just a true statement. I would have said something like, "I can't lift this much yet, but I have to start somewhere." I guess I'm fortunate in that people at my gym either just ignore me or say encouraging things.
  • fitinthirteen
    fitinthirteen Posts: 18
    First, I totally agree- I am intimidated by the weight room and the guys in there! BUT- I also know that my insecurity will make me read things the wrong way, and help is help. As we become more confident in doing something new, we show everyone- including ourselves- that we CAN do it! I won't let my insecurity- or intimidation from someone else- stop me from learning something new! That's what this is about, self tranformation!! Lift those weights- and next time you'll know how to add the pounds on the bar:-)
  • SkinnyWannabeGal
    SkinnyWannabeGal Posts: 143 Member
    I personally would have been SO relieved that someone came to my aid. I would not have taken offense to that. The weights intimidate me because I don't know how to use those machines. If someone wanted to help me out at the gym, I would be grateful. While all the other people just sat there watching you struggle, at least one person offered to help.
  • Tahitidreamz
    Tahitidreamz Posts: 20
    Women in general are sensitive beings men are direct. They don't think about how to be sensitive until after the fact. However why are you ashamed about being a woman? If you can't do something it doesn't make you weak. We all lack in areas but it is our mindset that determines our capabilities. Sweets just put on your big girl panties and be elated you didn't have a strain . I would have played it off and asked for a number. Haha but I'm single. Lol
  • Inkratlet
    Inkratlet Posts: 613 Member
    I would be more likely to get annoyed by some strong looking guys watching me struggle with a weight.

    But then, I would just ask. Same when I need to get the TRX suspension kit back onto the rack when someones taken it off. I am too short to get it back over the top bar, so I ask someone who's tall.
  • Gettinfit242
    Gettinfit242 Posts: 200 Member
    I know the feeling about not quite sure what to do in there... but truthfully most guys will help you out, and i agree men are just blunt, they arent like us and dont think about feelings or how we might take something..i think he was being nice and helping! Id much rather some dude tell me what im doing or not doing right in the weigh room than to laugh at me cause im clueless. and you will find that most men will gladly help you out at the gym, they really do like when a chick tries to keep fit and takes care of herself!
  • Gettinfit242
    Gettinfit242 Posts: 200 Member
    HAHA i asked this big dude the other day WTH i was doing wrong with one machine for legs... he came right over and showed me, giggled a little and told me i if needed any help to let him know! LOL id rather someone show me the right way or help me, than to waste my time doing something wrong that wont be effective! im ok with them getting a chuckle at my expense! HAHA

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