Do people treat you differently -- or is it you?

This topic is one of great interest to me personally. I have lost my weight several times before, only to allow it to slowly pile back on. Part of this is due to never really figuring out maintenance. However, because I've always had weight problems, I was at a loss on how to cope with physical attraction by other men, besides my husband, once I reach a normal weight. Every time it was very awkward to me. So I guess that in my case it would be a difference in the behavior of others which came first and somewhat frightened me. I was never there long enough to get comfortable in my new body. I hope at this point in my life, I'll have the confidence to coolly rebuff them and make a joke of it, instead of insulating myself by adding some poundage. Curious to see if anyone else has felt this way.

Yep, I could have written this verbatim. Great thread!

Ditto & Ditto
and in this same line of thinking, the less obese and healthier I would get, the more insecure my husband would get. I can't let either scenario stop me this time around.

And regarding the OP's question, I think it's a little of both. I'm more confident in myself (which others pick up on) and I'm more "acceptable" to society which is a damn shame on society that so many feel this way about people. Another weird thing I've noticed after having lost weight is people staring at my face. I'm in my 50's, normal looking, no facial tats or piercings, no scars or disfigurements, and I don't wear crazy inappropriate makeup for my age so I can't figure it out! Actually I'm totally bewildered by it! Maybe I remind them of someone else????? Just something to get used to I guess.

I think a lot of it has to do with the vibe you put out there. I'm nearly 6'2" so I carry the weight well and can gain 10-20kg without anyone **really** noticing... but I feel crap about myself when I'm heavier. I've only lost 3.5kg so far (and am quite a bit fitter) but have noticed that I **feel** a LOT better about myself, and am putting a lot more effort into my personal appearance when I go out because I feel like I'm becoming worth looking at, which in turn makes you more approachable. That's how I see it, anyhow. I've noticed girls who do put more effort into their appearance (nails, hair done, nicely pressed clothes etc) tend to get more attention than those who do not (tracksuit pants, a wrinkled t-shirt and hair in a bun), regardless of their size, so I think a lot of it is the sense of self-worth you project.

"I also noticed how easy has been for me to judge those that have not yet made the connection and continue to live unhealthy. Really that shocked me more than anything else."

This

And I am ashamed to say that I feel less respect for those who don't respect their own health. I didn't respect myself when I was fat and unfit and sick from so many ailments. I've had to earn my own respect. I'm learning to be more tolerant but can also relate to other posters on this thread who have shared their experiences; with people being curious and congratulatory at first but then dismissive and actually mean when you don't fail like they expected you to.

Despite several people asking me how I have achieved my transformation so far, they don't like my response. Discipline, no dieting, exercise, eating clean, no situ far, no gluten. I explain its different for each person and they should conduct their own experiments with food and record the results in a journal but that seems like too much effort! They seem disappointed I don't have a magic pill!

Men haven't changed in attitude towards me but women have. A few have started to tell me not to lose any more weight because I'm already skinny. Er no I'm not. I'm thinner that them, but still firmly in the overweight range for my height. I'm aiming for a UK size 12-14 which is a perfectly healthy goal as I'm 5ft 8". I'm only just into size 16 clothes now. I let them sabotage me before and i stopped doing my healthy regime for fear of being too extreme and getting too skinny (I had anorexia athletica when I was 16-18). Now I'm firmly in control and need to stay true to how I feel in clothes and the tape measure regardless of whether I feel fat or thin!

I need to ignore the sabateurs!

Might just be my imagination, but I think my wife's friends smile at me and hug me more.

Yup, more attention from guys which is nice but annoying because I am really not interested at the moment lol

But I'm such a happier person now, about to turn 21, happy, healthy and know what I want from life.

It always puts a smile on my face when I think about it

I have in the past few months been noticing more attention from females. I've been told by friends that some flirt with me but I frankly don't see it. I always assume they are just being really friendly, smiling a lot and that's it. I was pretty much invisible to the opposite sex in the past and don't have much experience with getting attention from girls, reading the signals, etc etc. Also it doesn't help that I am shy around girls I do like and/or find attractive. I tend to be quiet, avoid eye contact, barely smile, etc etc which with my physical size, my friends tell me I give off a "don't talk to me/I'm having a bad day" sort of a vibe which makes me less approachable. :laugh: I'm working on it.

Also, I used to to go a 24/7/365 type of a gym and I didn't want to be seen by others so I'd go either really, really early, or super late at night. Now I'll attend fitness classes at my gym and not care one bit who sees me. I've had both men and women approach me letting me know that they have noticed a difference with me the past few months.

Socially I am a bit more outgoing as well and I don't spend all of my free time infront of a computer at home anymore.

I'm far more confident and outgoing than I was when I was bigger...essentially, I got my old self from about 15 years ago back. People respond to confidence. I was never comfortable being larger and my self esteem was in the toilette...that affected my interactions with others and thus they way they treated/viewed me. It really wasn't the weight...it was me. I have large friends with a lot of confidence and charisma and people respond very well to them...it's not their size, it's their personality and charisma and confidence.

Yes people treat you differently. Seems like the more you lose the nicer everyone gets. I hate it when people who knew me when i was fat talk to me. Why? Because they suddenly act like my friends, like they have known me for a long time or something. I'm still the same person just smaller. Yet now you want to be "friends" **** off.

I have come out of my fat shell a little, more talkative.

When I was like 60 pounds down I started noticing a difference. Like, people would hold open doors for me now, and when I was very heavy men and women both would just let a door slam on me. I definitely get a lot more attention now, but honestly I would always get a relative amount of attention, but there would always be angel/devil voices in me going "They are looking at you because you are pretty and nice" and then "They are gawking at you because you are so fat." It's really a trick of the mind that I still fight.

Since I've gotten pretty fit now I don't really notice too many changes with people who knew me "before", but when I'm around people who didn't know the old fat me it can be very strange for me. I went to a dinner meeting with a bunch of people I didn't know and there was an obese couple sitting across from me. I explained I wasn't eating because it was my boyfriend's birthday and we had plans after the meeting. The couple both ordered very large meals and then an order of cheese fries on top of it. I would never have eaten any of it, that stuff just isn't my style anymore, but of course I didn't say anything (how rude would that have been!) They kept mentioning it to me, though- "You would never eat this stuff, would you? That's how you stay like that and I'm like this." Just comments like that, obviously (to me) projecting their insecurities on to me. I had never been in that position before, the fit person making someone feel bad by just being there, but I'd definitely been on the other end of it. Too weird.