Funniest Fat joke you said about yourself

135

Replies

  • born2drum
    born2drum Posts: 731 Member
    I'm not fat I workout.
  • ElusivePete
    ElusivePete Posts: 50 Member
    While training with a sparring partner at the dojo: "Aim for my chin... the first one..."
  • Teresa224
    Teresa224 Posts: 2 Member
    So funny!
  • Mgregory723
    Mgregory723 Posts: 529 Member
    "Don't worry if there is a Zombie Apocalypse, just trip me and keep running. I'll take one for the team!"
  • NinjadURbacon
    NinjadURbacon Posts: 395 Member
    If i just gain a little big more weight my Buddha belly will be able to hold my beer like a tv tray.
  • chicpower1
    chicpower1 Posts: 169 Member
    I am top heavy with a whole lot of weight in my stomach/mid-section and upper body yet I have these fabulous, thin, shapely legs. I was at a yard sale last weekend with a friend who held up a sweater dress and said, "Isn't this cute?!" I said, "yeah, sure, I'm an egg with legs, that would look FABULOUS to show of my egg figure! I think they missed that category when they came up with "apple, pear, etc" " BAHAHAHAHAHA! Sad but true.
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
    A co-worked asked where I live?

    I said Boston.

    He was like, where in Boston?

    I replied, I have my own ZIP code, you'll find it.
  • jatli
    jatli Posts: 1
    When I started on this weighloss journey, I told my husband I was afraid to get on the scale. He asked "how come?" I said because I don't want the scale to scream "One at a time!" He just laughed at me and said "get on the scale"...lol

    My girlfriend and I were going to aquafit (part of my regime now a days) and we were getting a good workout. I looked at her and said "I am built for comfort, not for speed".
  • NadineSabbagh
    NadineSabbagh Posts: 142 Member
    There was a story on the news about a beached whale that was stranded a while ago, think it was down in England.

    I remember watching the news report and turning to my family and saying 'I don't know why they're making such a fuss about me sunbathing...'
  • williamparker4
    williamparker4 Posts: 11
    Usually when some asks "Do you eat/like brownies(or any food)?" I'd just point to my stomach and say "Does it look like I eat brownies?".
  • williamparker4
    williamparker4 Posts: 11
    I am 4'11" and I often said that it was faster to go over me than to go around me.

    That's funny. =D
  • Goal179
    Goal179 Posts: 314 Member
    My friend told me that I had gained so much weight that I had three butts. I told her to pick one and kiss it...
  • lewcompton
    lewcompton Posts: 881 Member
    I'm a Mormon... We are told to have a year supply... I carry mine with me!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    too many to remember, but I do enjoy shocking others with my candid talk about my weight
  • lewcompton
    lewcompton Posts: 881 Member
    My buddy was 500 pounds, I was 400 and his brother was 300... We were walking down from CSU East Bay after graduation and the traffic was bumper to bumper... We were walking down as fast as the traffic this guy laid on his horn when we stepped into the street around an obstruction... I yelled back at him, "What You Never Seen Joggers Before!" Guy was lucky we didn't tear the doors off his mini van.
  • danofthedead1979
    danofthedead1979 Posts: 362 Member
    While training with a sparring partner at the dojo: "Aim for my chin... the first one..."

    Hahahaha nice

    My mate used to say "I think I'm bulimic, cos everytime I look in the mirror, all I see is a fat *kitten* looking back at me
  • Jenism1
    Jenism1 Posts: 149 Member
    I would say, "I don't have a six pack, I have a keg". Still no six pack but the keg is getting smaller!
  • battleEx
    battleEx Posts: 2
    all buff. no fluff.
  • darlene_foxxy3333
    darlene_foxxy3333 Posts: 25
    Hahaha love your answer!!
  • anaconda469
    anaconda469 Posts: 3,479 Member
    Someone made a crack about my weight so I told them 'I'm so fat I could be both sides of my family'
  • ChrisRiches
    ChrisRiches Posts: 45 Member
    I often refer to myself as having a "marshmallow coating".
  • 4homer
    4homer Posts: 457 Member
    I once raced a pregnant woman and i came in third
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,535 Member
    There was a story on the news about a beached whale that was stranded a while ago, think it was down in England.

    I remember watching the news report and turning to my family and saying 'I don't know why they're making such a fuss about me sunbathing...'

    LOL Brings back memories....back in my younger 20s, during that once-a-month-bloat I'd tell people I felt like a beached whale! LOL
  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
    When people were posting pictures of their celebrity twin on facebook I said I couldn't do it because I couldn't find a good picture when I googled 'Marlon Brando the later years'. I cracked myself up with that one mostly because I'm female. I still think it's funny. :laugh:
  • carashirley
    carashirley Posts: 169 Member
    Oh and lets not forget the joke as to why I can't lose weight or why I ate so much:

    "It takes a lot of food and money to keep this weight up! No way I'm losing weight and just wasting all that money!!!"
  • anlu37
    anlu37 Posts: 100 Member
    Someone asked me if I knew what I was having yet. I told them I was having twins and I would name them after their father--Ben and Jerry.
  • breakhearts
    breakhearts Posts: 110 Member
    "I'm so fat, my hometown is buffet." Not that funny, but I love it. Haha. (Hometown Buffet is a buffet!)
  • AllyCatXandi
    AllyCatXandi Posts: 329 Member
    This one I've used a few times:

    1349108473904_3521757.png
  • MoochieRama
    MoochieRama Posts: 71 Member
    Hilarious! But true!
  • lisamariep86
    lisamariep86 Posts: 2
    When I was at my goal weight, I would say that I used to be so fat I broke my leg!! Which people laughed at but it was true! LOL.,. I broke it in four places just by doing a lil skip hop. CRAZY

Categories