Skinny/fit people who say, "I'm so fat."

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24

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  • BorntoROAR
    BorntoROAR Posts: 91 Member
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    I too believe that we should ALL be kind to ourselves...no matter what we currently weigh or look like. We HAVE to love ourselves first and be our own best friend!!!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    OR, they have body dysmorphia. We don't know the struggles others battle, so rather than worry why they do what they do or don't, why not focus on making yourself the best version of you that you can?
  • tritepoet
    tritepoet Posts: 119
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    I think often when thin girls calls themselves fat, I don't think they're aiming to make heavier people feel self-conscious -- often they are too concerned about their own image to worry too much about others. They tend to look down on themselves more than they do other people.

    Yes, I don't think it has anything to do with making heavier people feel anything one way or another. I don't think when people post things like that, that they have any idea what they are projecting, because they -are- so concerned with themselves and their perceptions of their body image.
    My thought is, should we all not be more aware of the messages we are reinforcing for people everywhere when these kinds of things are put out into the world?
    Society starts with the individual I think.
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    She feel fat. I sometime feel fat and it is all about how I feel about myself and has nothing to do with anyone else. It is not a critique of those that weight more than I do, or those with ED.

    Yep, while I am a lot happier with my body than I have been in the past, I still have days where I feel like an epic heffalump. Other days I feel like a sexy ninja :laugh: I think the thing to remember is would you say to your best friend what you say to yourself? (I suck at this!)
  • tritepoet
    tritepoet Posts: 119
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    OR, they have body dysmorphia. We don't know the struggles others battle, so rather than worry why they do what they do or don't, why not focus on making yourself the best version of you that you can?

    I include myself in my thoughts here, and determine to be positive about myself as well. This girl is an example of my point.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
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    This may or may not be the case....but it's possible that she doesn't actually think she's fat, and is just fishing for compliments. If her posts trigger an unpleasant emotional response for you, you could remain FB friends, but "hide" her posts from your feed.
  • punkinkat
    punkinkat Posts: 85 Member
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    I agree with the others who have said she is likely doing it as a form of compliment fishing and attention seeking. I bet you could throw a fun monkey wrench into her fiendish plan by replying with something like: "I can sympathize, honey. We all have our fat days."

    LULZ.
  • SkinnyFatAlbert
    SkinnyFatAlbert Posts: 482 Member
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    As someone who's 5'11" 238lbs and had a high of 365lbs I can't help but roll my eyes when I hear a skinny girl whines about how she wants to be thinner so they can wear a slightly smaller clothes size or score a slightly hotter boyfriend.
  • PennyM140
    PennyM140 Posts: 423 Member
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    If I was sitting next to a heavy person trying to lose, they might think that I'm in near perfect shape. When I look at myself, I think I have a loooooooong way to go. It's just self-perception. I've come a long way, but I think if I were ever totally satisfied, I'd stop. Maybe many of us are that way. You look at the small imperfections and want to improve. It's not a slam on anyone, it's self-reflection.

    I agree with this. I obviously have quite a bit of weight to lose and sometimes it irritates me when people say "oh you're fine the way you are". or "you could lose 10 pounds if it would make you feel better but you don't need to lose any more than that".
    I am not happy with my body. I have plenty of fat to spare. I'm not even trying to get super skinny, just a trim, fit, normal weight.
    I try to take it as a compliment, they probably mean well. But what I want my friends and family to say is good for you, push hard and achieve your goals. Granted I'm not posting pictures and whining about being fat, but if someone asks me I tell them I am unhappy with my body and trying to change it.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
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    I agree that a lot of women who do the public weight drama-lama stuff are just fishing for compliments...

    BUT... I also think "fat" is kind of relative to what you're used to and what in your ideal aesthetics are in your own mind.

    So, for instance at 150lb I currently feel fat (because my normal happy weight is 125lb), but a woman weighing 300lb might get pissed off that I call myself fat at my weight? The whole "Well if YOU think you're fat, then what does that make ME?"-argument is kind of pointless.

    I appreciate that in the ED world the whole thinking process is more pathologised though.
  • gabbygirl78
    gabbygirl78 Posts: 936 Member
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    She's fishing for compliments. Call her out on it.

    this!!! My sister does this just to hear us fuss about how skinny she is... so I agree with her when she says it. She gets mad then all the sudden she don't think she is fat anymore lol :grumble: :laugh:
  • Snow3y
    Snow3y Posts: 1,412 Member
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    It's called attention seeking. If she were complex at all, she wouldn't post it.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    She feel fat. I sometime feel fat and it is all about how I feel about myself and has nothing to do with anyone else. It is not a critique of those that weight more than I do, or those with ED.

    Exactly! I have had similar feelings, but because its not proper or polite, I kept them to myself or told someone I could trust, who would understand what I was feeling. No, I am clearly not fat, but I have had fat feeling days. Its not always about attention and doesn't have to do with a comparison of oneself and others. Sometimes its just about how one feels about his or her self.
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
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    She feel fat. I sometime feel fat and it is all about how I feel about myself and has nothing to do with anyone else. It is not a critique of those that weight more than I do, or those with ED.

    Every time I see this kind of comment, and many worse ones, it breaks my heart and it also makes me angry. It's a choice we make to put ourselves down. Yes it's influenced by the media and our society and often by our mothers, but we choose to continue a negative dialogue about ourselves. As an older woman who never saw a good thing about myself when I was young, and treated myself like crap as a result, I can tell you that life is too damn short for this. What do we get from putting ourselves down all the time? Nothing positive in my experience. Additionally, many of us have children and even if we aren't telling them they are fat, they learn to look down on themselves through us. Especially the girls. I learned to hate myself from my mom at a very young age and she never said anything negative to me. Stop this madness!

    It makes sense to be realistically aware of ourselves and fix unhealthy/unfit, however this negativity and putting ourselves down needs to stop. I'm older now, very far from perfect and never will have a young body again, but I love what I see in the mirror. I choose to see how far I have come, the obstacles I have climbed over, and I see a beautiful, healthy and happy woman looking back at me. What do I get if I only see the physical flaws, most of which I cannot change? Why should I make myself feel bad about things that I cannot change? Why should I make myself feel bad about anything?

    Wouldn't it be amazing if young women could do the same; look in the mirror and love the person they see instead of always seeing "not good enough"? But "not good enough" sells a lot of products....
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
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    I think often when thin girls calls themselves fat, I don't think they're aiming to make heavier people feel self-conscious -- often they are too concerned about their own image to worry too much about others. They tend to look down on themselves more than they do other people.

    Yes, I don't think it has anything to do with making heavier people feel anything one way or another. I don't think when people post things like that, that they have any idea what they are projecting, because they -are- so concerned with themselves and their perceptions of their body image.
    My thought is, should we all not be more aware of the messages we are reinforcing for people everywhere when these kinds of things are put out into the world?
    Society starts with the individual I think.
    Yeah, I think so. As I said, I was guilty of constantly criticizing myself as a teenager, I don't think I would do that now. We all have our bad days and it's important to get encouragement from a support system (friends, family, online) But I think doing it constantly and especially in a public way, as a habit, well, I just can't think of much positive that comes from it. First you're beating yourself up, and second when you keep doing it, that annoys people over time and can make others say "well what does this say about me?" It's important to think about self-analysis in a more constructive way.
  • rosemary98
    rosemary98 Posts: 632
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    If this woman does have (or has had) an eating disorder, it is extremely likely she actually has times she thinks she is fat. It is possible that in her mind nothing can compare to her lowest weight (often times) even though she may look like a model now. So, in such cases it is less likely she is looking for compliments, rather maybe expressing frustration or needing reassurance that how she feels and what she sees in the mirror--are not accurate.

    I say this to my mom all the time..."do I look fat?" She will tell me "no," and the subject drops. Objectively, I know I am not fat, but subjectively, it can vary.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    The person with a disorder sees herself as fat. She can look into a mirror and see everything wrong with herself. She probably views other people as they are. Often times, when they show an anorexic person a picture of him or herself without the face, they express shock at how thin that person is. When it has their own face, they go back to thinking how fat that picture of them looks. It's in their head, and about them. They aren't judging anyone else.

    And while it's possible that she's fishing for compliments (and yes, tons of people do), eating disorders or body dysmorphia do exist, and they can consume a person. People who haven't experienced these and call someone with an ED or BDD simply "fishing for compliments" have no idea what they're talking about. It's possible that a perfectly thin person is viewing themselves as huge and disgusting.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    quote
    I think we should all try to see ourselves in a positive light, to be kind to ourselves, to promote positive messages of health and beauty. Criticizing ourselves in public not only shows an unhealthy mentality in the person, but also sends an unhealthy message to everyone receiving it.
    end quote

    I agree we should all strive for this. But also realize that some people are not able to get past tthe fact that in their eyes, they just don't measure up. It's sad, but yes we all need to go a little easier on ourselves, (and others for that matter). Both when alone, AND in front of others.
  • aelphabawest
    aelphabawest Posts: 173 Member
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    My ex girlfriend was a petite little size 4. At the time that I dated her, I was a size 16 and liked my body well enough. Sometimes she would start crying in the night, which would wake me up, and she would talk about how fat she was. There's deeper issues at work (she was eventually much easier to be around once she got on the right meds), but eventually my patience wore out and I asked her - "If you're fat, what does that make me?"
    And she was absolutely shocked, like she didn't consider me fat, and that it was all wrapped up in her depression. Depending on the context, I do try to not take it personally - most people are so wrapped up in their own issues they don't think about how what they're saying reflects on the bigger people around them.
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
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    My boss does this and it's annoying. He continually talks about how fat he is when he is not. Then he mentions his "fat face" - he has a round face and it is what it is. He sends out department memos saying we can "lose weight" or "get in shape" and it is definitely offensive. Now that I have lost 35 lbs he always brings in food for me to eat or offers me candy. At staff meetings he tells everyone to give me their leftovers because I "obviously need it." It's eff'ing annoying!!

    We also have a lady here is was once anorexic and struggles with her weight. I always feel for her when he sends those memos out. However, when I mentioned it to him he stated that he would "not apologize for people being hyper-sensitive." Just an *kitten*!!

    Ok, maybe its just him that I cant stand..........LOL!!

    Happy Hump Day :happy:

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