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  • Denjo060
    Denjo060 Posts: 1,008
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    A little boy was wandering around his house one day, bored and looking for something to do. His wanderings took him past his mother's bedroom door which was slightly ajar. He happened to glance in and saw his mother, naked, on her bed, and rubbing her body, saying "I need a man! I need a man!" This surprised and confused the boy and he wandered off. Finding something to do he forgot about the odd sight.

    About a week later he was once again bored and wandering around house looking for something to do. Once again, he passed by his mother's room. The door was closed but, hearing some sounds, he was curious. He carefully opened it just a crack and peeked inside. Once again, there was his mother, in bed and naked, but this time she had a man with her!

    The boy's eyes popped wide open and he raced to his bedroom, ripped all his clothes off, threw himself onto his bed, began rubbing his body all over and said "I need a bike! I need a bike!"




    OMG that is funny !!!!
  • Denjo060
    Denjo060 Posts: 1,008
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    Two friends were out hunting one day when one of them suddenly groans loudly, clutches his chest and collapses to the ground. His friend immediately pulls out his cell phone and dials 911. When the 911 operator answers, he says excitedly, "My friend just died of a heart attack! What do I do?" "Well, sir," the operator explains, "we first have to determine if he's dead."

    "Okay," the man says. "Hang on." Seconds later, the 911 operator hears a loud boom.

    "Okay," the man says, returning to the phone. "Now what?"




    An Oldie but definately a goodie hahahahah
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    Two Irishmen are sitting at a bar enjoying a pint. Out the window they see a Baptist Minister enter the brothel across the street. Outraged, they exclaim "Oh, look at that! A man of the cloth going to a brothel! Such a shame". A little later they see a Rabbi enter the same brothel and they say "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are falling for the same temptation". Then they see a Catholic priest entering the brothel. They shake their heads sadly and say "What a terrible pity - one of the girls must be dying."
  • callmenikita
    callmenikita Posts: 118 Member
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    Why didn't the pirate's kids go see the movie?

    cuz it was rated AAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!

    i can't help it still makes me laugh lol:laugh:

    that literally made me LOL
    im easily amused :)
  • FrauHaas2013
    FrauHaas2013 Posts: 615 Member
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    What's the Jolly Green Giant's greatest fear??

























    AVOCADO PICKERS!!!! LMAO
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
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    What's better than roses on your piano?















    Tulips on your organ!

    Bahahahahahahahaha

    FREAKIN AWESOME!
  • born2drum
    born2drum Posts: 731 Member
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    A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."



    She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."
    :laugh:
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and.............................................. coke.

    The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"


    The bear says, "I've had them all my life."
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
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    Why did the chicken cross the road?


    To show the possum it can be done
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    If h20 is inside a fire hydrant.. what's on the outside?























    k9p.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    What's the best time to go to the dentist?













    At TOOTHHURTY.
  • juiletflt
    juiletflt Posts: 159
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    What did the fish say when it hit a wall?











    Damn
  • markiend
    markiend Posts: 461 Member
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    What does DNA stand for




























    National Dyslexic Association
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
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    Two blondes walk into a bar.

    The first one says to the second one,


    "Oh! You didn't see it, either?"
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
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    A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and.............................................. coke.

    The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"


    The bear says, "I've had them all my life."


    THAT was awesome! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • markiend
    markiend Posts: 461 Member
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    Two old ladies sitting on a park bench , flasher runs past them and dangles it all in front of them

    1 had a stroke and the other couldn't reach
  • gabbygirl78
    gabbygirl78 Posts: 936 Member
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    What's better than roses on your piano?















    Tulips on your organ!

    Bahahahahahahahaha

    ????

    tulips = two lips
    organ = weiner haha

    I really feel ashamed that i got that right away :blushing: ........... ehhh no I dont:devil: :laugh:
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Why did the tomato blush?






















    Because it saw the salad dressing.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?












    Their middle names.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    David Hasselhoff calls his agent and demands, "I want everyone to call me The Hoff from now on."












    His agent replies "Sure! No hassle."

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