Do not eat sandwiches

Mutant13
Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
Ok I bet I will get hate for this from people who are willing to put any old junk in their bodies but its important to get the word out there.

DO NOT EAT SANDWICHES!

Sandwiches are NOT natural. They do not occur naturally! Why would you eat something put together in a 'food lab' by a 'gastronomer'? Why would you put something that has been cobbled together in sterile conditions like some sort of Frankenstein's monster?

Not to mention some of the individual components of sandwiches. Do you even know what 'Creme Fraiche' or 'Fluer de Sel' means in English? If you don't recognise it your body won't either!

Many of the things these 'gastronomical scientists' add products to sandwiches that have been treated with Dihydrogen Monoxide during their creation process. Tomatoes, for example are created by being surrounded by large amounts of nitrogen, boron, chlorine, molybdenum, magnesium and more chemicals! Then they are routinely sprayed with large amounts of Dihydrogen Monoxide and nourished with carbon dioxide and RADIATION!

Adding to that, many other components are treated with MORE Dihydrogen Monoxide! It's state is altered by the food scientist via a process called "washing" this is almost always done to lettuce!

So PLEASE think about what you will put in your mouth! Did you know that eating sandwiches will even cause your body to profuse chemicals???? Once you eat a sandwich your body will start releasing things like Trypipsinogen and Carboxypeptidase? Do these sound safe to you? Do you want to walk around leaking chemicals like some sort of defunct nuclear reactor?!

THINK BEFORE YOU EAT!
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Replies

  • candiceh3
    candiceh3 Posts: 379 Member
    :D
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    :frown:

    But... bacon...

    BaconSandwich2_zps34fcb418.jpg
  • kitza101
    kitza101 Posts: 99 Member
    I've heard that eating sandwiches can make you go blind. True story!
  • notworthstalking
    notworthstalking Posts: 531 Member
    People need to be aware :wink:
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Guys we need to blow the lid open on the sandwich industry
  • BunBun85
    BunBun85 Posts: 246 Member
    Oh God, I've been poisoning my body for so many years! *death ensues*
  • castadiva
    castadiva Posts: 2,016 Member
    Creme Fraiche' - literally 'fresh cream', used to denote a slightly soured cream product
    Fleur (not Fluer) de Sel - 'Flower of Salt' - very high quality, hand-harvested salt.

    The mind may be monoglot, but the body is not.
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    In to read more....... after I go make me a sandwich...... <walks away shaking head> :noway:
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Creme Fraiche' - literally fresh cream, used to denote a slightly soured cream product
    Fleur (not Fluer) de Sel - 'Flower of Salt' - very high quality, hand-harvested salt.

    The mind may be monoglot, but the body is not.

    You are obviously a gastronomical scientist and a spy for the FDA. Keep out of here
  • terricherry2
    terricherry2 Posts: 222 Member
    Urgh. A trainer at my gym tried to tell me to eat low carb the other day, because "sugar is the worst thing you can eat". Pretty sure if I ate cyanide it'd be worse.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,809 Member
    Just picked up a sandwich at Sainsburys - King Prawn & Rocket.

    Rocket sounds kinda dangerous - I like to live on the wild side. :devil:
  • fleamunky
    fleamunky Posts: 4 Member
    Tomatoes, for example are created by being surrounded by large amounts of nitrogen, boron, chlorine, molybdenum, magnesium and more chemicals! Then they are routinely sprayed with large amounts of Dihydrogen Monoxide and nourished with carbon dioxide and RADIATION!

    Adding to that, many other components are treated with MORE Dihydrogen Monoxide! It's state is altered by the food scientist via a process called "washing" this is almost always done to lettuce!


    So we can't eat salads either?
  • LaserMum
    LaserMum Posts: 133
    Can I just clarify please?

    You are talking about SANDWICHES? Yes?

    So ... sarnies and sammiges are OK?

    :wink: :flowerforyou: :drinker:
  • colortheworld
    colortheworld Posts: 374 Member
    Not sure if the author of this post is a troll or just dumb. :noway:
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    In to read more....... after I go make me a sandwich...... <walks away shaking head> :noway:

    Fine. Go and pollute your body! Maybe you should add done tartar or should I say TARTARIC ACID!

    ACID! Like what James Bond villains put in death pits! Go put some ACIDS IN YOU!!!!
  • Frood42
    Frood42 Posts: 245 Member
    oh, sammiches, sammiches with bacon, yum!


    Does my ham and cheese pannini count?

    Eating it anyway!
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Not sure if the author of this post is a troll or just dumb. :noway:

    Theoretically, if you couldn't tell, the intellectual failure might lie elsewhere.
  • Frood42
    Frood42 Posts: 245 Member
    Not sure if the author of this post is a troll or just dumb. :noway:


    Chit-Chat, Fun, and Games

    :giggle:
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Just picked up a sandwich at Sainsburys - King Prawn & Rocket.

    Rocket sounds kinda dangerous - I like to live on the wild side. :devil:

    Why would you eat something named after a spaceship? Space travel is unnatural!
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    But I planted my crusts and grew a sandwich tree, it's nearly harvest time!
  • Ignore sandwich warning at your peril, I heard someone EXPLODED! scary stuff, aaaaagh! :noway: :sad:
  • LaserMum
    LaserMum Posts: 133
    Dihydrogen Monoxide can also cause drowning if inhaled.

    :devil:
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    But I planted my crusts and grew a sandwich tree, it's nearly harvest time!

    You tree will still be IRRADIATED! RADIATION FROM THE SUN!
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    Can I just clarify please?

    You are talking about SANDWICHES? Yes?

    So ... sarnies and sammiges are OK?

    :wink: :flowerforyou: :drinker:

    ...and sammiches, don't forget sammiches(those are my favorite).
  • itzehoe
    itzehoe Posts: 614 Member
    :happy: funny :laugh:
  • mcibty
    mcibty Posts: 1,252 Member
    Wow. Just. Wow.
  • manda1978
    manda1978 Posts: 525 Member
    In to read more....... after I go make me a sandwich...... <walks away shaking head> :noway:

    Fine. Go and pollute your body! Maybe you should add done tartar or should I say TARTARIC ACID!

    ACID! Like what James Bond villains put in death pits! Go put some ACIDS IN YOU!!!!

    All acids are bad? Even Amino?
  • mcibty
    mcibty Posts: 1,252 Member
    Can I just clarify please?

    You are talking about SANDWICHES? Yes?

    So ... sarnies and sammiges are OK?

    :wink: :flowerforyou: :drinker:

    I love a good sammich. Or a sanga.

    ...and sammiches, don't forget sammiches(those are my favorite).
  • LaserMum
    LaserMum Posts: 133
    But I planted my crusts and grew a sandwich tree, it's nearly harvest time!

    I think you should be safe so long as you didn't spray it with Dihydrogen Monoxide. But be careful if you have applied this dangerous chemical to the ground around the tree too.
  • BeccaBollons
    BeccaBollons Posts: 652 Member
    Soooo is my crusty white oven baked baguette with tuna and melted cheese ok? The bread has ascorbic acid (very dangerous sounding). Technically not a sandwich, kind of baguette pizza.

    Edited for spellinz