Strangers make fun of me when I'm out
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OMG how horrible, I am very over weight and I have not once heard such rude things come from people's mouth, I live in Southeast Missouri maybe we have a little more respect for others around here I don't know but that is just very rude, and I would say they try to make them self feel better by putting others down and I would not let them get to me0
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Some skinny little bimbos (wasn't going to use that particular b-word, but hey) of mixed gender decided it would be hilarious to take a video of me while doing the wobble, and elicit one of their males in the group to go dance with me, all for the purpose of making fun of me. I have a bit of an anger problem, so we had to leave to prevent me from legitimately beating faces in. Turns out one of my friends disappeared and put the wrath of God into them and watched them delete the video for threat of smashing their phone. I hate people.0
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Some skinny little bimbos (wasn't going to use that particular b-word, but hey) of mixed gender decided it would be hilarious to take a video of me while doing the wobble, and elicit one of their males in the group to go dance with me, all for the purpose of making fun of me. I have a bit of an anger problem, so we had to leave to prevent me from legitimately beating faces in. Turns out one of my friends disappeared and put the wrath of God into them and watched them delete the video for threat of smashing their phone. I hate people.
I am the same way with my anger, I would have kicked me some bimbo *kitten* x3. I am working on that as I lose weight
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Some skinny little bimbos (wasn't going to use that particular b-word, but hey) of mixed gender decided it would be hilarious to take a video of me while doing the wobble, and elicit one of their males in the group to go dance with me, all for the purpose of making fun of me. I have a bit of an anger problem, so we had to leave to prevent me from legitimately beating faces in. Turns out one of my friends disappeared and put the wrath of God into them and watched them delete the video for threat of smashing their phone. I hate people.
Hah....you sound like me!!!!!! You go girl!0 -
I think of it like this. These men are kind of like men who despise homosexuals. They are very cruel to them and even have resorted to killing gay men. Well, it's these cruel homophobic men who are themselves homosexuals and harm to repress their own sexual desires.
Men like this are fatphobic, cruel, but find themselves very sexually attracted to larger women. They go out of their way to suppress their desires, and to fit in with the boys. It's an abusive cycle, and when they see a very attractive large woman (with ample breasts and a large behind) they cant suppress their desire, and due to that feeling of control loss they turn it into rage. What perfect way to ensure your fantasy remains around then knock an innocent woman down forcing her to drown her emotions in food, and get bigger.
The next time it happens. Smile to yourself and think "oh hell no youre never getting down my pants."
People who dont care. Dont comment.
Yep, I tend to think this too.0 -
On average, ideal weight for someone my height is 115-125 pounds. Even when I was within that range, I was being called fat. In fact, I have been called fat and ugly every single day of my life for the past 20 years. End result? I hate the entire human race, save for my parents, my husband, and my only friend. However, I try not to let that stop me from enjoying my life. That's the entire reason why people bully, is to make you feel like ****. So if they get any hint that they've succeeded, they're encouraged to keep doing it. It's a boost to their own self-esteem.
So, even when you want to just give up, break down, hide in your house forever... DON'T. Because that just makes you more and more miserable. Go out and do as you please with your head held high. Exude confidence, even if it's all an act. People think twice about insulting someone who seems to happy with themselves.
And when people /do/ insult you, don't be the bigger person. Don't let yourself appear angry or insulted, but don't just let them get away with it either. Make sure you give a retort and do so LOUDLY so that everyone around you knows that the person you're addressing is a jerk who just insulted you unjustly. Make a spectacle of it as much as you feel comfortable with. Point out how mature it is of them as a grown man/woman to be name calling like a child. Apologize to them for how horrible their life must be that they have to harm others to feel better (my personal favorite: "I'm so sorry that Mommy didn't hug you enough.").
Just like you don't being humiliated, bullies don't like it either. So put them in their place the same way that they tried to do to you. Then walk away, head still high, and forget about them completely. Because even the few seconds you gave them is more than they deserve.0 -
iM 5 8 AND I WAS 286LBS ABOUT A YEAR AGO. THE FUNNY THING IS PEOPLE DIDNT REALLY GIVE ME A HARD TIME UNTIL I LOST THE WEIGHT. WHEN I WAS HEAVY I COULD WALK AROUND AND NOBODY PAID ANY ATTENTION TO ME. NOW THAT I HAVE TAKEN OFF THE WEIGHT I GET ALOT OF PEOPLE ASUMING I HAD GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY,LIPO AND ALL SORT OF THINGS WHICH IS A INSULT BECAUSE I HAVE WORKED SO HARD TO ACHIEVE MY GOAL. PEOPLE JUDGE ME BEFORE I OPEN MY MOUTH, THEY ASSUME IM SHALLOW...........0
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OP, I'm sorry that happened to you
I don't understand how people can be so mean sometimes. No one has ever said anything mean to me before but when my mother decided to start losing weight she was out walking and a couple guys drove by and yelled "you got a long way to go!" and drove off laughing. Jokes on them though because about 9 months later she ended up losing 100 lbs 
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"The emptiest drums make the most noise."
I feel sad that you have to deal with idiots that try to make themselves feel better by belittling one facet of a multifaceted diamond. Unfortunately it happens to a lot of us. I have had my boss tell me that I need to work out. I have had a man who works under me make humiliating comments about my weight in a room full of employees. FIND PEOPLE THAT WILL LIFT YOU UP, SUPPORT YOU, AND LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE! That is the only way to have balance in your life. You must balance the negative with ten times as much positive. If you want to change your outward appearance you are in the right place, BUT, do it for you, NOT because some jerk doesn't like one aspect about you.
We can never have too many Friends here on MFP. Feel free to send me a Friend Request if you would like too.0 -
I'm so sorry. No one should be treated this way. I was teased horribly when I was younger. Called ugly and what not. It hurts to the core. Even now, at 45, I find it so hard to walk away from those feelings.
One of my favorite movie lines is from Pretty Woman. Vivian and Edward are lying in bed talking.he tells her that she has many wonderful qualities (those aren't the exact words). And, she says "The bad stuff is easier to believe".
I still struggle with this stuff. I've had some stuff going on at work that has been frustrating. Even though, I know I'm good at what I do and have had stellar reviews, this last few weeks have been drumming up those old feelings. I thought Ion ER and over, don't just hear the bad stuff.
So chin up. People who make these comments are just mean. They are sad. They lash out because they feel insecure.
Hugs.0 -
I'm sorry, people suck.
I've gotten comments ranging from "daaaamn!" to "damn girl you're a big b****." Or "hey my friend totally wants to date you he loves fat girls lololol" honestly it makes me not want to go out in public ever again.
I can't tell you to ignore them because I sure can't. All we can do is keep losing weight and make ourselves happy
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I've experienced this many times in my life, and my favorite responses go something like this...
"really? that's all you got? that I'm fat? real witty, how long did it take you to come up with that one?"
"wow, I'm sorry. you must feel really badly about yourself if you need to mock me in order to feel good"
"publicly making fun of someone says a lot more about you than it does about me"
yeah, it hurts. DO NOT LET THAT STOP YOU FROM LIVING.0 -
I've had the kids rolling down their windows and "mooing" or "oinking" at my mom and I-boys. When I lived in Eastern Europe for a year and a half, it was surprisingly mostly women that would shove it in my face. I feel sorry for people that feel they have to treat others like that! And I'm grateful I've experienced obesity so that I can better sympathize. As hard as it is, just try to keep that perspective and pity them. If it helps, you can always throw out a snarky childish comeback like "I can fix fat, too bad you can't fix ugly!"....but that's only as a last resort :P0
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People are *kitten*. You are so pretty!0
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I'm 5'3" and 190lbs and I've been on the bigger side of things for a while now. Whenever I've had jobs in food, I've overheard customers saying "that's what happens when you take the free meal every break" and "she too big to move fast enough for fast food" and crappy, hurtful remarks like that all the time. take it in stride and move on. nothin' ya can do to open a small minded persons heart up. sorry this has been happening to you. just remember that you're beautiful on the inside and the outside, and if they can't see that, they're the ones missing out.0
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I was tortured for my weight in high school, and it's happened several times over the years since then. It makes you paranoid about going out in public, especially walking anywhere, and especially alone. Honestly, though, you don't even have to be that big for it to happen. And you definitely don't need to be unattractive for it to happen. It's no reflection on you whatsoever. These people are just *kitten*, usually showing off for their friends. It's their defect, not yours. Deep down, you know that.
I know EXACTLY where youre coming from with the going out alone thing. This sort of thing never happens when I'm out walking with my husband. He is in disbelief that people are such a-holes since he never sees it/hears it. Lucky, I guess; I'd be even more embarrassed if it happened in front of him. I usually don't tell him when it does happen since it's all just humiliating. I always feel more comfortable not going alone. As soon as I'm out alone I feel so self conscious and its almost like I'm just waiting for something, ya know?0 -
I'm 5'3" and 190lbs and I've been on the bigger side of things for a while now. Whenever I've had jobs in food, I've overheard customers saying "that's what happens when you take the free meal every break" and "she too big to move fast enough for fast food" and crappy, hurtful remarks like that all the time. take it in stride and move on. nothin' ya can do to open a small minded persons heart up. sorry this has been happening to you. just remember that you're beautiful on the inside and the outside, and if they can't see that, they're the ones missing out.
THIS HAPPENED TO ME AT WALMART. Before going back to school (took time off to have baby) I was working at walmart and people would say rude stuff like, ''good thing they carry a uniform in that size'' and I was in an 18. Or, they'd ask how I could be so heavy while stocking shelves. One guy joked about the employee discount on food and insinuated that I applied the discount at the mcdonalds. How rude.0 -
I've had the kids rolling down their windows and "mooing" or "oinking" at my mom and I-boys. When I lived in Eastern Europe for a year and a half, it was surprisingly mostly women that would shove it in my face. I feel sorry for people that feel they have to treat others like that! And I'm grateful I've experienced obesity so that I can better sympathize. As hard as it is, just try to keep that perspective and pity them. If it helps, you can always throw out a snarky childish comeback like "I can fix fat, too bad you can't fix ugly!"....but that's only as a last resort :P
Oh I've thought about it! lol. It's always *after* the incident that i'm like, ''I should have said (insert insult here." It's frustrating. The only thing I ever did that worked well was something I did a few years ago when I was 21 (I was maybe 230); some douche bag made a rude comment about anyone being willing to marry me when he saw me walk out of the bridal shop with my dress. I think hesaid something like, ''wow, i guess there's hope for everyone!'' and I politely asked him to hold on for just a moment, then I pulled my camera out (I'd had it while trying on dresses) and hit record and asked him if he could repeat what he'd said for the camera. He kinda like, semi-scowled and walked away.
I wish I had the nerve to do that now but now I just go into ''runaway mode''0 -
I've experienced this many times in my life, and my favorite responses go something like this...
"really? that's all you got? that I'm fat? real witty, how long did it take you to come up with that one?"
"wow, I'm sorry. you must feel really badly about yourself if you need to mock me in order to feel good"
"publicly making fun of someone says a lot more about you than it does about me"
yeah, it hurts. DO NOT LET THAT STOP YOU FROM LIVING.
I like your come backs lol. Being called fat or, ''large'' hurts a lot but what sent me home in tears was when those two guys said I looked like a man, I'm not sure why, it was just especially mean0 -
I think of it like this. These men are kind of like men who despise homosexuals. They are very cruel to them and even have resorted to killing gay men. Well, it's these cruel homophobic men who are themselves homosexuals and harm to repress their own sexual desires.
Men like this are fatphobic, cruel, but find themselves very sexually attracted to larger women. They go out of their way to suppress their desires, and to fit in with the boys. It's an abusive cycle, and when they see a very attractive large woman (with ample breasts and a large behind) they cant suppress their desire, and due to that feeling of control loss they turn it into rage. What perfect way to ensure your fantasy remains around then knock an innocent woman down forcing her to drown her emotions in food, and get bigger.
The next time it happens. Smile to yourself and think "oh hell no youre never getting down my pants."
People who dont care. Dont comment.
I agree with this. Sorry this happened to you.0 -
I'm sorry, people suck.
I've gotten comments ranging from "daaaamn!" to "damn girl you're a big b****." Or "hey my friend totally wants to date you he loves fat girls lololol" honestly it makes me not want to go out in public ever again.
I can't tell you to ignore them because I sure can't. All we can do is keep losing weight and make ourselves happy
Jesus, what planet do these people come from? It's as if they werent raised to observe societal norms at all. I understand the question, ''were you raised by wolves??'' now0 -
This is why parents need to step up and teach our kids love and kindness. I challenge my kids every day to look for a way to be kind and then when I pick them up from school I ask what they did. We constantly tell our kids to be kind.
For every mean person, there is 10 nice ones. Feel sorry for them, for their hearts are ugly, I'd much rather be nice, and kind, then thin, and ugly on the inside, they can't be happy, if they have to bring others down to get attention.
Keep your head up, and be confident that YOU are a better person!
I notice a lot of parents who are with their little kids, let them act out, and make nasty faces to strangers. They see their kid acting out, and being rude, and either ignore it, or smile at what they are doing. These are the kind of parents who are raising *kitten*
I've never seen a parent just sit by while their kids do that, but I fully believe it must happen. I mean it has to, you can't blame everyone's douchey actions on their parents all of the time, but having a peaceful and loving outlook while growing up can go a long way in being more accepting. The huge difference between people (like between those that make animal noises at heavier people and those that would go out of their way to help someone struggling with something) is amazing.0 -
yep, Ive been moo'd at, oinked at, been asked what I weighed, had people shout things from cars. That was a long time ago and reading through this thread has made me remember a lot of that stuff. When I lost a lot of weight (around 110lbs) it took me a long time to realise when people were being nice or genuine - I always automatically assumed that people were mocking me or being mean. Took a long time to get over that. Wow, this thread has bought up some long lost feelings!
People have no right to make you feel like *kitten* - don't let them stop you from going out and living your life.0 -
God, yes, I am reliving everything I went through the first thirty years of my life as I read through this thread. And I totally remember not wanting to go outside. I'm in a much better mental place now (though much heavier physically) and still when I am feeling the least bit shaky I don't want to go outside, don't want anyone to see me.
It's awful that anyone else feels like that. I'm really sorry.
One weird upside of it: I'm over fifty now. I had a really pretty friend who's ten years older than me mourn to me a few years ago that when she turned fifty, it was like she was invisible to men all of a sudden. Now, the problems in that statement are legion, and I hate it that fewer people appreciate how lovely she is both physically and mentally.
But for me it's been so incredibly freeing. I AM invisible. I can walk down the street and not be noticed. It's like my superpower is invisibility all of a sudden, and I wanted it so much when I was younger, and now I've got it. It's a lot easier to reconcile myself to looking older if it means that for the first time in my life I don't have to flinch from going outside.0 -
All I know is that the minute you make a move towards a healthier, happy...thinner you.......EVERYBODY and their brother seems to have something to say about it. Personally, I think they are afraid you will become competition, yeah I am positive.
So there I am in the gym bathroom after my workout. Minding my own business, flat ironing my hair in front of a mirror that essentially has room for three people. So flat ironing hair, minding my own business, when lady 1 comes in, walks over to my things that are on the counter and pushes them over and basically tells me that the tile decorating line on the wall is my side and I am over the line. Whoa, I'm over the line, let alone, what about walking over to the space furthest from me and letting me move my stuff myself?
Not truly comfortable with assertiveness. I do not look at her, but tell her not to touch my stuff, nicely. She basically goes off on me with the B word top priority. Lady 2 comes in and they start talking about me on with the other with lady 1 still making verbally brutalizing a thing. Getting upset and not happier by the minute cause now their are two of them with lady 1 leading the other in continuing the abuse. Really! My things, her crazy invisible line nuttiness?
Soooo...I turned to face the two of them, and asked in a very loud voice, so how far is this going to go and took a step towards them. And asked if they where planning on hitting me too? Funny, with all my adrenaline pumping, I never expected it to just go quiet.
I still laugh...although I really wanted to cry, because I dislike confrontation.
Let me say something though....men are a different story. A woman has little hope of beating off two guys or doing any collateral damage unless trained properly. I am sorry that they were so ugly to you. However, should you ever be place where you must defend yourself against a bully or worse, don't hesitate to bring everything you have to the fight. Ears, eyes, fingers, top of the feet, nose...groin all deliver that check your self at the door feeling you may need to get the upper hand. Lol
They probably don't want you to know they would be interested if you we're say ....blonde, brown eyed, skinny, because face it some people are permanently shallow. Sorry didn't mean to go long....people are just crummy, sometimes.0 -
Some of my favorite words from the book "The Four Agreements"
Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own experience and story. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
We take things personally when we agree with what others have said. If we didn't agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. If we did not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior could not affect us.
Even if someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you! Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal story.0
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