Is it too late?

Hi everyone, I'm going to apologize up front, because I'm probably breaking some rules or acting out of turn, and I'm sorry about that; I literally don't know where else to go.

I am 550 lbs, 30 years old, male. This past Sunday I went to the ER with bad chest pains, and it turns out that it was not heart or lung related; in fact, both seem to be okay. Which you might think would make me happy, or hopeful, but it's done the opposite; I feel like the only thing in front of me is my own death.

I can barely walk from my car to my office without being out of breath and in pain, and I keep seeing things saying that losing two pounds a week is healthy. If I do that for a whole year, I'll still be over four hundred pounds, and I feel like I will die before I can make any real difference in my life.

I don't know what to do, and I sometimes find myself wondering if I wouldn't be better off dying on my own terms. I don't mean I'm suicidal--I'm not--I mean that I try to academically or intellectually look at my life and wonder if I wouldn't be better off dead so I won't have to try and fail.

Every single success story for someone my weight involves bariatric surgery, which I will not do, so I feel like I have no chance. I just don't know what the hell to do.

Sorry for venting.


  • srogers89
    srogers89 Posts: 190 Member
    You need to read this mans story.....if he can do it, you can too! It is never too late!

    You can do this, we all believe in you :)
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    While 2 lbs a week is considered ideal for a larger person, in the beginning of almost any weight loss regimen, a larger person will lose faster. For example, I came back here 3 weeks ago. I lost 10 lbs my first week, 5 lbs my second week. This week I haven't lost anything, maybe a pound or so, but I'm okay with that. Two pounds won't be the same for everyone. And even if that's what you lose, 2 pounds a week, your body will thank you as the pounds slip away.
  • katealbright
    katealbright Posts: 135 Member
    That is NOT true! You are definitely NOT hopeless! It breaks my heart to read that!

    At your weight, you will lose much more than 2 lbs/week for the first couple months (ever seen The Biggest Loser?). Do not undermine even the smallest success. 100 lbs may not seem like much when you feel you have so much to lose, but you will feel like a COMPLETELY different person! Hell, people feel completely different when they lose FIVE pounds! Seriously!

    Please do not give up on yourself! You definitely do NOT need surgery to change your life! You are capable of so much more than you ever imagined :)
  • FrauHaas2013
    FrauHaas2013 Posts: 615 Member
    It's never too late! And you know what - those with the most weight to lose usually lose it more quickly (at least in the beginning). Have you watched the new season of Biggest Loser??

    And please don't despair; there are folks here who were where you are now...and do check out Ed's story - you'll be inspired!
  • mwilke
    mwilke Posts: 378 Member
    My question is: Do you want to be healthier? In my humble opinion, if you do- you will make the changes necessary to become so. You will make the healthier food choices and begin working out- even if it is walking for 5 minutes at a time several times a day. I do not think it is too late until you actually die. Just my thoughts on it tho...
  • You need to read this mans story.....if he can do it, you can too! It is never too late!

    You can do this, we all believe in you :)

    ^^ This - that guy's story has made me get off my rump and move more - i didn't even have a lot to lose - but it's inspiring.

    You def DON'T need surgery to do this - good old fashioned hard work is the key here! I have faith in you that you will do this, one small step at a time. Just take it day by day. When I was bigger I was suicidal for a while... I had a lot of emotional issues, nothing seemed to be going right for me, and On top of that I was gaining weight rapidly because I stopped caring about myself.

    In total, I've lost 44 pounds on and off the past 2.5 years. This time, I won't balloon back up, I won't get it happen... I'm finally getting my figure back and I love the way I feel and have so much more self confidence.

  • cookieluvsya
    cookieluvsya Posts: 136 Member

    Not everyone that used to weigh as much as you do now has done surgery... The main thing to do here is set small short term goals.. Thinking about the 2 pounds a week, and you'll still weight this much... that is setting yourself up for failure.. Instead think... hey let me lose 20 pounds this month... maybe write that out on a sheet of paper and carry that with you everywhere where you can see it.. and start really making little changes. dont eat your whole plate.. leave a little on the plate, each meal.. go for a 10 minute walk everyday NO MATTER WHAT... BUT... don't become overwhelmed with these LOOOOOOONG and diffult goals.. baby steps are the best! Feel free to add me if you like and GOOD LUCK :)
  • taliesyn_
    taliesyn_ Posts: 219 Member
    It is only too late if you decide that it is, and you owe it to yourself not to decide that. At 30, you have a lot of life left and every lb lost extends that. There is lots of support and encouragement here. Use it and you can succeed.
  • MissyBenj
    MissyBenj Posts: 186 Member
    It's never too late. Everyone has their own beginning and you get to chose your ending point. If you're "only" just over 400 lbs in a year from now, that's a much better position than being exactly where you currently are in a year. Every single pound that you lose means your that much closer to where you want to be. Losing weight too quickly is unhealthy, it's hard to maintain, and it could leave your body looking tiny in way too much skin. Find your patience and persistence. You can do this! Evaluate your diet, and incorporate short walks daily, every day that you walk add a small amount of distance. Don't make this something that you hate doing because it's hard - you have to start easy so that it's enjoyable - and eventually you'll become addicted to what you see happening to your body.

    Most importantly, have faith in yourself. You control your weight loss destiny, don't lose hope.
  • SomeGirlSomewhere
    SomeGirlSomewhere Posts: 937 Member
    Well I never weighed 550 lbs., but I did get close to the 400 lb. mark at one time and for a 5'3" female that's probably about as bad as being a guy who is 550.

    I just lost 20 lbs. in the past month which is closer to 5 lbs. a week than 2. I asked my doctor this afternoon if 20 lbs. was too much to lose in a month. She said it wasn't for a person my size. I would assume this means that you too could safely lose more than 2 lbs a week.

    I have been eating around 1300 calories a day (even though MFP recommends closer to 1700) and not really exercising much yet because like you I am in pain when I move too much. After even a week or two of drastically reducing your calorie intake you will feel better. And I am doing this WITHOUT surgery.

    So, no, I do not think it is too late. As long as you are still alive it is never too late. :-)
  • mortaine
    mortaine Posts: 2 Member
    " If I do that for a whole year, I'll still be over four hundred pounds, and I feel like I will die before I can make any real difference in my life."

    Ah, but see: if you do that for a whole year, you will be UNDER five hundred pounds!

    But more importantly than what your body is shaped like is what it can do. Can you walk? Can you "go for a walk"? Can you bend down and pick things up easily? Can you jog for half an hour? Can you tie your shoes without bending your knee?

    Sometimes, especially when you're stuck, it can help to think about something you want to be able to do with your body, rather than a number on the scale. It is astounding how fast we can go from being unable to do something to being closer to doing it. In 3 months of training, I went from getting winded on the stairs to running a 5K. In that time, I didn't lose any weight, and in 6 months of consistent training, I have lost only 6 lbs. It sucks, but only if my focus is on weight loss, rather than health. When I think instead about how it feels to run for 30 minutes without stopping, it ceases to matter that I'm still in my "fat jeans." Someday, the weight will come off, and if it never does, at least I can be the fat kid who outruns zombies.

    Good luck on your journey. Stay focused, and work on retraining yourself to have positive eating habits.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    If you're still breathing it's never too late! Cliche I know but holds so much truth "a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Keep going forward and you will be successful.

    Celebrate every single pound you lose, and focus on the now. You can do this. It's going to be a fight every single G-d damn day and every single meal, but you can win. Put on the warrior face and imagine that this is the 100 years war youre in it for the long haul. There will not be one day for the rest of your life you dont fight...even if its you walked to the end of the block or you parked your car at the other end of the shopping center, or you chose to eat only the jr. cheeseburger and get the small fry. H-ll that's a win there!

    Fight for it! Fight hard for what's left of your life. You only have two destinations old age or death. The exciting part is you get to choose and you get to choose the outcome of this long hard fight.

    My prayers to you as someone else who's in the long fight.
  • bkyoun
    bkyoun Posts: 371 Member
    We all have to start somewhere. You can do it! Start today and don't look back. As far as how much you can lose, when you are extremely overweight, you will lose a lot more than 2 pounds per week at first. In the first 1 or 2 months, you will probably drop significantly more than that.

    Once you have got through the water weight loss and you start losing at a more normal pace, my doctor has told me that it is healthy to lose 1% of your body weight per week if you are extremely overweight. So at 500, 5 pounds per week would be healthy. At 400, 4 pounds per week would be healthy, etc.

    Don't think about how long it will take to lose the weight. Just get started now and focus on what you need to do today. Take it 1 day at a time and stick to your calorie goals.

    At first, you won't be able to do a lot for exercise, but just start out by walking, even if it is just to the end of the street and back. Do a little more each day and you will see progress.

    There is never a better time to start than right now!
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    It is definitely not too late. Other people have posted some great threads to get you going, and I'm not going to expound on them. I can't pretend to know where you're coming from because I've never been there, but I'm sorry that you're going through such mental and physical hell.

    I just want you to know that you're worth it. You're worth the effort and the time that your goals are going to take. Don't ever forget it.
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,655 Member
    Of course it's not too late. Your body is changing every day. You get to decide which way it will change. A year from now, you can weigh 600 pounds and have trouble walking to the bathroom... or you can weigh 400 pounds and have a load off your knees, heart, lungs, and be able to walk around the block, and be another year or two away from taking your life BACK.

    Start. Just start. Don't worry about how long it's going to take, or where you'll be a year from now. Get moving in the right direction. If it's just reducing your intake because you can't move yet, that's a move in the right direction. Do more when you can. But right now, just start.
  • Bump to read lata
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
    There is always hope.
    It is never too late.
  • perrinjoshua
    perrinjoshua Posts: 286 Member
    It's not too late! Go for the win! You can do this. Talk to your doctor and get a great support group going here and you will be able to look back on this and wonder why you ever thought you couldn't do it. God bless.
  • lydian8
    lydian8 Posts: 39 Member
    I haven't talked about this, but I started at 361 in March of this year. I'm not at the weight you are, but I know how it feels to be trapped by my body. I know what it feels like to wonder if there is any use for me to be here. I'm 43. I'll be 44 in a month. In March, I wondered if it was all too late. Please know it is not. You are still young. You're body has hung on and kept you going this long. Losing any weight will make a big change.

    You will lose rapidly for awhile if you choose to do it, and there will be many, many rewards along the way. I still have just under 100 pounds to lose, but I've got so much to be happy about now. Now I'm not content to stop, but my life is so much better with the weight loss that has happened.

    I hope you get inspired by people here at MFP and find a plan and work it. Sometimes, we have to hit bottom before we can climb back up. You are welcome to friend me if you want to chat more.