Second child

Hi Kelly! I am also a SAHM. My daughter is 7 and my son is 3. I was in the same predicament that you are in. My family lives in Ohio, I'm in PA and get little to no help. I won't lie when I say going from 1 kid to 2 is more like going from 1 kid to 10! My husband works a lot and sometimes Saturday and sundays. If I didn't plan my days I'd be DONE! I have to literally plan all meals and activities ahead of time so we don't get behind schedule.

Would I do it again? In a heartbeat! My daughter is a HUGE help and I call her "little mama" because she loves helping me with her brother. There are days when I can't even shower! Our lives are pretty hectic but I love it. I love how cute and adorable the kids are when they play together. It's priceless! Of course only you and your husband can decide if another child is right for your family and I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. My husband is an only child and he has often said he wishes he had a sibling. I have 2 younger brothers and I can remember loving my childhood and playing/fighting with them all the time!

It's a HUGE adjustment but I wouldn't trade it for a minute. My daughter wasn't jealous at all when our son was born and in fact she loved to show off her little brother and would refer to him as "my baby." So cute!

Good luck in your decision!

I will say only this:
If you never had a second child, would you regret it?
If you did have a second child, would you regret it?

Okay, and I'm adding this:
When you have more than one child, you aren't dividing your love in two. :-D

I think having 2 kids is 2.5x harder than having one. I don't regret it but it has been tough for me. Hard to divide your time and attention between them, hard to find time for your partner and yourself, and I imagine it will be more challenging when they are older and going off to different practices and sporting events etc. But again, I don't regret and I love both my daughters but no number 3 coming from this womb

I am a single mom with two kids. Whether or not adding a child to your family is harder depends entirely upon the children involved and how low you are willing to let your standards drop. If you have longing dreams of Martha Stewart style standards, you are going to be disappointed that it will be next to impossible to maintain those ideals. If you're ok with occasional trips to chaos and minor flirtations with insanity, you'll be fine.

My kids are almost five years apart and are best friends. I have a friend whose kids are not best friends,

There are no good generalizations. Search your heart, talk with those who matter most and you'll come to your own perfect decision.

It will always be harder having two or more kids than having one. I have 2 children ages 10 & 7. And let me tell you our life is a crazy mess of organized chaos. You always have to have a plan but I guess that goes for even one child. My children are athletes. My youngest plays soccer in the town south of ours and my oldest plays softball in the town east of us. We have bags and uniforms packed the night before so that we walk in after work and school and are quickly right back out the door. Sometimes, I swear, we pay for our house just so that we have a place to sleep and wash clothes. Do I regret any of it? ABSOLUTELY NOT!! They are the greatest blessing.

The transition from 1 to 2 wasn't the easiest because I didn't have any help other than a 3 year old that had a tendency to try and overhelp and was more in the way than anything. (Don't tell her I said that. :happy: ) I think the transition from 2 to 3 will be easier because my husband has great hours and our daughters are old enough to help if they choose to. The way they are around babies, I think it would be often. Although they may get tired of their own sibling sometimes. :flowerforyou:

I am a single mother to twin almost 7 year old boys. I don't have a clue what it's like going from one child to two (because I only had one baby for 18 minutes and I was kinda busy giving birth to #2!) HOWEVER, I can't imagine my life growing up without my younger brother. He's 3 years younger than me, and neither of us has ever felt that our parents loved one more than the other. Do they love us differently? Absolutely. But that's the beauty isn't it?

Also, as a mom to two, I can't imagine life with only one! They have a best friend, always. At 22 months, your son is still plenty young to adapt to a major change like a baby brother or sister. He's also old enough to understand most of what you tell him. If you decide for baby #2, you have 9 months to communicate with him about what's going to happen.

It sounds like you have a pretty good schedule in place now. And schedule is definitely key to success with babies and kids! Sure, in the beginning, you will need to give the baby plenty of attention. But there will be time (babies sleep a lot) to get in some quality time with your son. And if he's anything like my boys, he'll be eager to help with little tasks (and he'll eat up every second of praise that you want to give him!)

Ultimately, only YOU and your husband can decide what's best for you. I wish you the very best of luck in whichever decision you make!

I only have one but I've heard going from 1-2 is easy, it's going from 2-3 that's hard.

I went from none to 3 within 3 years. Two step kids and my little girl. I've always been a risk taker though!

I had my first 4 in under 5 years and then my 5th came along 10.5 years after the 4th. I like the closer age gaps and think they have a lot in common growing up, you get everything done all at once so you can get rid of all your baby stuff, etc at the same time, get through diapers all at once, etc. Honestly, they're all different and you can't predict how things are going to go. However, one thing will be the same. You will never be able to imagine life without that child once they're there. You don't focus on how to do it but you just do what you need to do and enjoy them even through the challenging days. They grow up way too fast.

Okay, and I'm adding this:
When you have more than one child, you aren't dividing your love in two. :-D

Ok, THIS one for me. Im a dad, not a mom, but we both work, and as it so happens, Im the more domestic of the two of us.
Were both 41, and our son is 9, our daughter 6 - pretty close to where you might be, just further down the road a bit right?

The quote above is 100% accurate, so no worries there, and IMO, having more than one is EXPONENTIALLY MORE WONDERFUL - gives them someone to play with, someone to take it out on, someone to look after, someone to blame it on, someone to argue with, someone to teach, someone to learn from, someone to talk to, someone to LOVE besides YOU. And you get to watch it all, and do your best to steer them in the right direction...

No doubt its more work, but when theyre your children, is it really work at all???

DONT TRY IT. DO IT!!

I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old. The only "hard" part of having 2 is just the fact that my daughter is going through the terrible twos. If she wasnt going through that, it would be much easier. Im in the same position as you. My husband is military.. we moved away from home a year ago and I have had no help (other than my hubby and occasionally a neighbor). It depends on each individual, but IMO its not necessarily any harder to have 2 vs. 1.... your just a little bit busier. Its all about a schedule. Babies are fun.. go for it!

Going from one child to two will have no negative impact on your first child what-so-ever. That is a worry that you can put aside. It will only be good for your child. "Only" children do not feel more loved by their parents. All children feel more loved when they are loved unconditionally (not something all children or possibly even most children get), and when the parents have their own lives and do not place too much importance, expectations, pressure on the child(ren) to fulfill their lives in any way. Also, I am a twin and it was a huge benefit to my life to have a sibling. I also had an aunt that was just five years older than me. It is a good thing to have a family member that is a peer.

Everyone needs to decide for themselves what they want and can handle in life, and there are many factors that go into that. It's no other person's right to tell you they want you to have more children (even if your own child is saying it). Some people choose that one child is all they want for many many reasons. For me, I am happy to have two children, but I am absolutely not going to have any more (for many reasons)!! No matter what anyone says (even my youngest child asking me to have another one). Bringing a whole other person into the world is a big thing to do and should not be done lightly.

Being pregnant was a bit of a challenge because I have vomiting the whole nine months, and in my last two months of pregnancy I was ambulanced to the hospital with a medical emergency that was traumatic for my older child (but only at the time, she has fully recovered), and had to be hospitalized for a week and then on bed rest and my child had to be careful with me. But, we all recovered and I even gave birth at home and my older child was there at the moment of birth (she was asleep and woke up just in time). She cherishes this memory. In the end, even the challenges turned out to be positive growth experiences. Sometimes challenges are good. And it was also good for me to realize that while it is good to be loving and giving, I do not have to give so much at the expense of even my own health. Good I learned that early on when having my second baby.

Initially it is more challenging to go from one to two (I also have no help, support, family). With one, you are always either with one child alone, together as a family, or the child is asleep or occupied and you have time with your partner. With two, it seems you are always with a child or two. So it`s always you alone with two, you with one, husband with the other, or the two of you with the children, or you are alone and husband is with the two. There is less down time with your partner, alone together. But, it`s not that much more difficult to be caring for two children during the day. It`s actually kind of nice to have a toddler and a baby, those are some of my most happiest memories. The baby sleeps a lot. I spent a lot of quality time reading with my toddler and going out for adventures with my baby in a sling.

And when the kids get older, while sure you are caring for two human beings instead of one, they also occupy each other, play together, etc. It is so wonderfully happy for me to see the close relationship that my daughters have. It is so incredibly wonderful. And it is so good for socialization. I am glad that my children have that. As wonderful as it is to have well attached babies and toddlers, separation from parents is an extremely important step that all children are slowly growing towards and eventually will take.

And once both the kids are in school, you can schedule occasional day off dates to be alone with your husband during the school day. Those don't happen as often as we would like, but we are very happy when we can do that.

Its funny, I was just telling an expecting friend that when i was expecting my second daughter, everyone said that 2 is no different than 1. I can now see how that was some evil joke they were playing! lol. I actually think it would be easier if there were some amount of age between them. Mne are 2 years apart and while its nice that they enjoy most of the same things, being so close in age means they FIGHT over everything under the sun. Its flat out exhausting. I would love to have more but knowing what i know now, it would suit my personal situation best if they were about 5 yrs apart.

If you're 100% financially and emotionally ready to take on a second little thing-a-majig, then go for it.

It is harder, if that is the question. While some aspects are less stressful because you know more about raising a child, you STILL have to do it all again.

Meant love each other .... Auto correct ... Lol