Second child

Going from one child to two will have no negative impact on your first child what-so-ever. That is a worry that you can put aside. It will only be good for your child. "Only" children do not feel more loved by their parents. All children feel more loved when they are loved unconditionally (not something all children or possibly even most children get), and when the parents have their own lives and do not place too much importance, expectations, pressure on the child(ren) to fulfill their lives in any way. Also, I am a twin and it was a huge benefit to my life to have a sibling. I also had an aunt that was just five years older than me. It is a good thing to have a family member that is a peer.

Everyone needs to decide for themselves what they want and can handle in life, and there are many factors that go into that. It's no other person's right to tell you they want you to have more children (even if your own child is saying it). Some people choose that one child is all they want for many many reasons. For me, I am happy to have two children, but I am absolutely not going to have any more (for many reasons)!! No matter what anyone says (even my youngest child asking me to have another one). Bringing a whole other person into the world is a big thing to do and should not be done lightly.

Being pregnant was a bit of a challenge because I have vomiting the whole nine months, and in my last two months of pregnancy I was ambulanced to the hospital with a medical emergency that was traumatic for my older child (but only at the time, she has fully recovered), and had to be hospitalized for a week and then on bed rest and my child had to be careful with me. But, we all recovered and I even gave birth at home and my older child was there at the moment of birth (she was asleep and woke up just in time). She cherishes this memory. In the end, even the challenges turned out to be positive growth experiences. Sometimes challenges are good. And it was also good for me to realize that while it is good to be loving and giving, I do not have to give so much at the expense of even my own health. Good I learned that early on when having my second baby.

Initially it is more challenging to go from one to two (I also have no help, support, family). With one, you are always either with one child alone, together as a family, or the child is asleep or occupied and you have time with your partner. With two, it seems you are always with a child or two. So it`s always you alone with two, you with one, husband with the other, or the two of you with the children, or you are alone and husband is with the two. There is less down time with your partner, alone together. But, it`s not that much more difficult to be caring for two children during the day. It`s actually kind of nice to have a toddler and a baby, those are some of my most happiest memories. The baby sleeps a lot. I spent a lot of quality time reading with my toddler and going out for adventures with my baby in a sling.

And when the kids get older, while sure you are caring for two human beings instead of one, they also occupy each other, play together, etc. It is so wonderfully happy for me to see the close relationship that my daughters have. It is so incredibly wonderful. And it is so good for socialization. I am glad that my children have that. As wonderful as it is to have well attached babies and toddlers, separation from parents is an extremely important step that all children are slowly growing towards and eventually will take.

And once both the kids are in school, you can schedule occasional day off dates to be alone with your husband during the school day. Those don't happen as often as we would like, but we are very happy when we can do that.

Its funny, I was just telling an expecting friend that when i was expecting my second daughter, everyone said that 2 is no different than 1. I can now see how that was some evil joke they were playing! lol. I actually think it would be easier if there were some amount of age between them. Mne are 2 years apart and while its nice that they enjoy most of the same things, being so close in age means they FIGHT over everything under the sun. Its flat out exhausting. I would love to have more but knowing what i know now, it would suit my personal situation best if they were about 5 yrs apart.

If you're 100% financially and emotionally ready to take on a second little thing-a-majig, then go for it.

It is harder, if that is the question. While some aspects are less stressful because you know more about raising a child, you STILL have to do it all again.

Meant love each other .... Auto correct ... Lol

I only have one but I've heard going from 1-2 is easy, it's going from 2-3 that's hard.

I've heard the opposite from a few ladies I work with who have 3. They say the transition from 1-2 is the hardest but when you tack on a 3rd its nothing. I guess it depends on the person.

My eldest was 27 months when my youngest was born. She loves her sister to death but there is a lot of jealousy there. They fight like cat & dog (which I guess is to be expected of siblings, I just didn't think it would start so young).

I found it hard because I didn't get any downtime. 1 would go for a nap, the other would be awake, I'd go to feed 1 the other would want to be feed too or need toilet/nappy change. So much harder taking them both in the car or on outings.

A friend of mine has an age gap of 4 years 3 months & she is struggling too. She forgot how hard it was to get up to a baby in the night. So, I don't think there is any perfect gap or a right time or anything to be honest. If you & your husband want to have another baby - do it. Each baby is different. I thought my 2nd child would be so much easier than my 1st. I couldn't be more wrong! She's more of a handful than the 1st :frown:

I think it depends on the family dynamic. I come from a two child house hold and we were raised by our father. We didnt fight for his attentions because we did everything as a family. I was recently talking to my dad abt starting a family of my own sometime within the next two years and this is what he told me, " It's the hardest thing that your ever going to do, kids are both annoying as hell and cute as can be, and you have to kiss your personal life goodbye, there is no right or wrong answer as a parent and you are never going to love anything more than your family."

We live in a home that has three bedrooms, so each girl can have her own room, but they chose to share a bedroom and use the other bedroom as a play room. They love sharing a room.