Husband can't be trusted. How many chances should he get?

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  • Funkenstein7
    Funkenstein7 Posts: 32
    Have you tried eating bacon?


    But on a serious note, no-one will ever betray me like that again. Once trust is broken, it's game over.
    Period.
    The very fact u went through with the wedding beggars belief.
    Get rid of him or live the life you have chosen.
    And yeah, why disclose all this here?!
    Peace.
    :drinker:
  • sklarbodds
    sklarbodds Posts: 608 Member
    Keeping in mind I'm engaged but not married...



    Trying to remove porn from a relationship isn't the best idea. There is nothing wrong with looking at porn and it's certainly not cheating. If it's a big enough deal to you that you'd leave him for that then you should have talked about it BEFORE you got married.

    And if the issues with the sexting are over, let them be over and don't drag them back up every time he does something you don't like. If he was texting you while watching porn, why would you come to the conclusion he wanted anything but you to be with him?? Take a step back, figure out what's done and over with and what's actually a current issue. Forgive what's in the past and let it stay there. Trust is essential in a relationship - if everything he does is going to come back to you not trusting him, then the relationship is already over.


    And, much more simply put, if you have to ask if you should end a relationship, you should end the relationship.
    :flowerforyou:

    Seriously though, the one question that keeps going through my head for the OP and all of the women who are like 'get out now!!! He's a liar!' <--- Do you never make a mistake? Seriously. Have some forgiveness in your life. Allow people to mess up. They're human, they're going to do it. Otherwise EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP YOU EVER HAVE WILL FAIL.

    I'm not saying you need to let someone cheat on you or abuse you. But just about everything else as long as it's coupled with a sincere attitude of wanting to change, let it the 'f' go!

    People make mistakes. The decision should always be if you're comfortable with your spouse's weaknesses or not. If his is porn (and that bugs you), then know he's going to slip and help him work through it and SUPPORT HIM <---- crazy f'ing concept.
  • gabbygirl78
    gabbygirl78 Posts: 936 Member
    I don't see how a porn addiction can destroy a marriage unless 1) it is hitting the finances hard...( there is free porn ya know)
    2) It is leaving one of you neglected while the other one is "self-pleasuring" most of the time or 3) One of you is insecure in your relationship and view it as the same thing as "cheating"...... 4) it leads to actual cheating. If hubby hasn't done any of the above then good gawd let the man have some fun... better yet... have some fun with him!
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Is it only men who get the porn card excuse or does it work for ladies too?

    You don't need a card for something that would be celebrated/appreciated.
  • JamieM8168
    JamieM8168 Posts: 248 Member
    Eh, I don't get it.

    Sexting = bad
    Porn = good
  • littlelaura
    littlelaura Posts: 1,028 Member
    1. he didn't cheat so stop whining.
    2. he just masturbated to porn, big deal.
    3. sometimes a guy want to get off alone cus its all about him time, as oppose to sex with you, he wants to please you so he isn't taking his first.
    4. be glad he is at home playing with him self to a porno instead of bringing you home an std.
    5. make a video of yourself for him, or of you two together for him to watch while your gone to work, problem solved!
  • grentea
    grentea Posts: 96 Member
    I'm not married, so my opinion doesn't count for much, but it sounds like you don't trust him. I wouldn't either after discovering the original messages on Facebook. I also think the private sessions with the porn star is going way too far. His actions to me are saying, "not committed to monogamy". Only you can decide what you will live with. Can you be sure that this won't progress to having sex with other women? You can't and you don't want an STD to be how you find out. I don't think this is going to get any better. My dad cheated on my mom basically their whole twenty year marriage. And after they divorced, he still cheats on the women that he dates. He is not honest and he was the one who showed me that once a cheat always a cheat. I say get out now before your heart has been crushed and your children get very mixed up ideas about what love is. If you have daughters, picture them 25 years from now in the same situation. What would you tell them to do?
  • Unknown
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  • VelvetMorning
    VelvetMorning Posts: 398 Member
    1. he didn't cheat so stop whining.
    2. he just masturbated to porn, big deal.
    3. sometimes a guy want to get off alone cus its all about him time, as oppose to sex with you, he wants to please you so he isn't taking his first.
    4. be glad he is at home playing with him self to a porno instead of bringing you home an std.
    5. make a video of yourself for him, or of you two together for him to watch while your gone to work, problem solved!

    Err...if you're going to do this OP, make sure your face isn't in the video. This relationship sounds bound for failure and the last thing you need is the entire world seeing you.
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