Article: What no one tells you about losing lots weight

Wow.

I am going to go against the popular sentiment here and say that what I look like after the fact DOES matter to me. I've been ashamed of how I look for all of my adult life. I've cringed in the mirror when I saw myself naked. I've gone for years without letting even my husband truly see me naked. There is no way that after working hard on this for years that I'm going to go through that for the rest of my life. I will opt for surgery. There is no question in my mind about that. If after 2 years of maintaining, giving my skin a chance to catch up, I still have big folds, I'm going to pay to have someone else fix it. While most of my skin is bouncing back okay, I don't know how it'll look. I know that I will never be 100% happy with how I look, but there is a happy medium. Right now I'm doing what I can to try to minimize this issue (lifting, going slow, minimizing LBM losses), but some of it is out of my control.

Years ago, my sister in law had breast enhancement surgery. She caught a lot of flack for it. After breastfeeding her nipples inverted. It was impacting her marriage, due to her inhibitions caused by shame about her breasts. She has never regretted that surgery. Her lack of confidence wasn't just manifested in her reaction to her breasts, it was CAUSED by her breast's appearance..

While saying something like "I will never have the body of a 25 year old" is a great sentiment (you know I love you Beach), there are levels here. The pain in her after pictures is real. It's a part of it. To tell someone to just not focus on the aesthetics isn't realistic when you are dealing with that type of disfigurement.

My weight gain was caused in large part by a medical condition that was overlooked for a decade and a half. Yes, some of it was behavioral. But that doesn't make me more deserving of being happy with my appearance than someone who has faced whatever emotional demons they had. However, the key is to have faced those demons. Not just lost weight quickly.

This is another reason that going slow is really a good thing for most. It gives you a chance to work through your issues.

And yes, most of my goals are fitness related. But that I care what I look like after the fact is perfectly fine, too.

Interesting, but does this apply to everyone? Is there ways of preventing this? I'm sure if you lose weight at a slower rate and exercise regularly you can prevent this much sagging skin....probably can't prevent it completely, but less of it, anyway. Good article though.

I feel like people must be sooooo naive to think that every human body is going to magically bounce back into a perfect fit figure after weighing 200, 300, 400 lb. I guess maybe I'm just really aware of how bodies truly look nude? I dunno. My body looks a little bit like hers does in places, after losing 95 lb, and I fully expected that. It's not shocking or even upsetting to me.

I don't think it is naive - I think people get bombarded with media images of people who lose a lot of weight that don't show this side - or use spandex and air brushing to hide it. They think that this is the norm. That if you lose a lot of weight (generally fast) you'll be fine and look great.

Even the biggest loser - from what I've seen - doesn't address this issue. So for a lot of people it is a big suprise.

I'm going to take this a step further. I think people don't really know what a naked human body REALLY looks like, regardless of if there was weight loss of if they were always thin. We're bombarded with images of physical perfection and many times physical fantasy.

Besides for ourselves and our significant others, the only time we see a bunch of bare skin it's actors, models, or pornography. Not only do the people chosen for those professions have superior physical genetics, when we see them we get the best angles, the best lighting, the best lenses, Photoshopped magazine spreads, and many times body doubles for the nude scenes in a regular movie.

People that lose a lot of weight aren't alone in having body image issues. I'm in Los Angeles, and the hottest women you'll see here are still like "Ugh, I soooo hate my thighs/butt/toes/cheekbones/toes" I think a big part of the problem is that people are chasing images of physical perfection that do not exist in reality

Yep, I totally get that no one will be totally happy with how they look. It's just not possible. But, I think that you can't really compare that to someone who has the level of disfigurement that she does. It's just not a fair comparison.

I agree with Otter, too.

To be honest, I would have preferred my sons see nude women in National Geographic magazine rather than air-brushed porn.
REAL women come in all shapes and sizes.

The images I thought were most telling are the ones with her husband.
They look like he loves her as is & wishes that she would, too.

http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/11/what-no-one-tells-you-about-dramatic-weight-loss.html

A very interesting article about the other side of big weight loss and how it is largely ignored by the media when reporting weight loss stories.

Warning if you click thorough to the photos - not viable on the article itself - the "Half" series is nudes and not suitable for work.

Kozerski's account is depressing, I agree. Weight is most certainly not a cure all for other possible underlying issues. I can't help but wonder how she lost all her weight. To be so devastated after achieving mega losses, the poor woman is obviously gutted. Her genetics and choice of weight loss protocol were not in her favour. Just sad.

She will likely receive offers from Cosmetic Surgeons offering to 'fix' her body issues ~ but will Kozerski be truly happy even then?

I did not really think about how I would look after the weight loss and being 65, it's even worse. However I did not do this just for appearances, but to get healthy and I have achieved that. I am most unhappy with my face that had few wrinkles when I was fat and now looks like a road map. Wrinkle creams don't really help so this is something I am learning to live with as I will not have unnecessary surgery. Have had both knees replaced and more surgery is not in my future if I can help it. I advise anyone reading this to think about the health benefits of losing weight and not necessarily your appearance, though I suppose that is too much to ask of you young people who are dreaming of bikinis.

This is sad. Pretty much a continuation of Gina Kolata's thoughts on the subject.

O hai etoiles

I've had stretch marks on my thighs since I was a teenager, and I've never been significantly overweight. Some of that is just genetics, and it sucks, but I don't really care. If anyone is going to judge me because my thighs aren't perfectly smooth, I'm okay with that. Helps me separate the people I want in my life from the people I don't want in my life. :bigsmile:

I like this article because it helps people "manage their expectations" with regards to significant weight loss, but I hope people don't find it too discouraging. Yeah, the excess skin can be an issue, but you can do something about it if it really bothers you, and even if you don't, that's okay, your health is the important thing. :flowerforyou:

Interesting, but does this apply to everyone? Is there ways of preventing this? I'm sure if you lose weight at a slower rate and exercise regularly you can prevent this much sagging skin....probably can't prevent it completely, but less of it, anyway. Good article though.

I have some areas that are looking like her pics (stupid saggy belly :grumble: ), but overall I don't have as much sagging skin as she does. Well, not yet anyway.

From what I understand, these things can help: strength training, losing slowly, having good genetics, time. So, controlling for what you can is the best that you can do.

Great article, thanks for posting!

I feel like people must be sooooo naive to think that every human body is going to magically bounce back into a perfect fit figure after weighing 200, 300, 400 lb. I guess maybe I'm just really aware of how bodies truly look nude? I dunno. My body looks a little bit like hers does in places, after losing 95 lb, and I fully expected that. It's not shocking or even upsetting to me.

I don't think it is naive - I think people get bombarded with media images of people who lose a lot of weight that don't show this side - or use spandex and air brushing to hide it. They think that this is the norm. That if you lose a lot of weight (generally fast) you'll be fine and look great.

Even the biggest loser - from what I've seen - doesn't address this issue. So for a lot of people it is a big suprise.

I'm going to take this a step further. I think people don't really know what a naked human body REALLY looks like, regardless of if there was weight loss of if they were always thin. We're bombarded with images of physical perfection and many times physical fantasy.

Besides for ourselves and our significant others, the only time we see a bunch of bare skin it's actors, models, or pornography. Not only do the people chosen for those professions have superior physical genetics, when we see them we get the best angles, the best lighting, the best lenses, Photoshopped magazine spreads, and many times body doubles for the nude scenes in a regular movie.

People that lose a lot of weight aren't alone in having body image issues. I'm in Los Angeles, and the hottest women you'll see here are still like "Ugh, I soooo hate my thighs/butt/toes/cheekbones/toes" I think a big part of the problem is that people are chasing images of physical perfection that do not exist in reality

Yep, I totally get that no one will be totally happy with how they look. It's just not possible. But, I think that you can't really compare that to someone who has the level of disfigurement that she does. It's just not a fair comparison.

I think that's fair.

As for the the earlier mention of my comment, Otter, we read the article from 2 different perspectives, and I think if I were her I'd also opt for the surgery. I wasn't saying that looks don't matter. It's all about balance. My point was that a physical transformation won't fix emotional issues if the physical problem was a symptom of those emotional issues and not the root cause.

Yeah, I get that, and I totally agree. Ideally, one should be in some sort of therapy/support to help work through their issues as they lose so that they won't slip when they get down to a healthy weight. But, like being able to pay for surgery after that kind of loss, a lot of people just can't afford it.

Like everything, it's a really complex issue.

In because this is a great discussion.

I think that's fair.

As for the the earlier mention of my comment, Otter, we read the article from 2 different perspectives, and I think if I were her I'd also opt for the surgery. I wasn't saying that looks don't matter. It's all about balance. My point was that a physical transformation won't fix emotional issues if the physical problem was a symptom of those emotional issues and not the root cause.

Agree. Then again, some people have the same unrealistic 'end view' of their final outcomes even with surgery, much like weight loss. A quick fix? Most certainly not.