MFP Husband

HawtinPhoenix
HawtinPhoenix Posts: 43 Member
in Chit-Chat
Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:

1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
3. Regularly say insensitive things
4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you

Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!

Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.
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Replies

  • sstan03
    sstan03 Posts: 102
    do i have to think about football, can i think about NASCAR?
    while you are thinking about an answer, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!


    how is that?
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    do i have to think about football, can i think about NASCAR?
    while you are thinking about an answer, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!


    how is that?
    You're HIRED!
  • Beastmaster50
    Beastmaster50 Posts: 505 Member
    All I can offer you is my platinum Visa card.....
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    All I can offer you is my platinum Visa card.....
    It's a trap... Totally a trap.
  • gertudejekyl
    gertudejekyl Posts: 386 Member
    do i have to think about football, can i think about NASCAR?
    while you are thinking about an answer, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!


    how is that?

    Ha ha ha, how bout a sammich ?!
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    do i have to think about football, can i think about NASCAR?
    while you are thinking about an answer, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!


    how is that?

    Man, you sound like a catch. If I was you I would make sure it is an open marriage, because you can get some sweet strange on the side with your qualifications.
  • Danny_Boy13
    Danny_Boy13 Posts: 2,094 Member
    while you are thinking about an answer, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!

    Sammiches FTW!!!
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:

    1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
    2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
    3. Regularly say insensitive things
    4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
    5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you

    Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!

    Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.

    I cannot be your husband if you're going to let those dirty dishes pile up in the kitchen.
  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
    i'm sorry.

    i only service wives.
  • brcossette
    brcossette Posts: 89 Member
    Hmm i guess i'm not like most husbands because i enjoy snuggling, watching lifetime, and talking about my feelings and i never want sex.
  • simsburyjet
    simsburyjet Posts: 999 Member
    I watched 10 hours of football sunday and then waited patiently for monday night football.
    Am I the one?
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
    We can have MFP husbands?? I had no idea...
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    MFP husbands are supposed to be hot, sexy, and fawn over you endless on you wall, the forums, and private message.

    You're playing this game wrong.
  • Kendie74
    Kendie74 Posts: 22 Member
    I watched 10 hours of football sunday and then waited patiently for monday night football.
    Am I the one?

    I did the same thing. I hope this doesn't qualify me as an mfp husband... :noway:
  • Keiras_Mom
    Keiras_Mom Posts: 844 Member
    Shouldn't your MFP husband be better than your IRL husband? :laugh:
  • TheGirlsATimeBomb
    TheGirlsATimeBomb Posts: 434 Member
    wait i want one
  • PlanetoftheAtheists
    PlanetoftheAtheists Posts: 112
    Sandwiches. Do you make them?
  • UnitedBoy83
    UnitedBoy83 Posts: 888 Member
    I'd like to think i'd make an excellent MFP husband! :flowerforyou:
  • learn2shoot
    learn2shoot Posts: 2
    What is football?
  • TheGirlsATimeBomb
    TheGirlsATimeBomb Posts: 434 Member
    I'd like to think i'd make an excellent MFP husband! :flowerforyou:

    british? tall? DIBS!
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    I do all that **** in real life... you can't expect me to do it here, too. God you people are needy.
  • Vincentsz
    Vincentsz Posts: 407 Member
    i'm sorry.

    i only service wives.

    @ SexKittenlovesitrough

    You are awesome!
  • Jaulen
    Jaulen Posts: 468 Member
    I do all that **** in real life... you can't expect me to do it here, too. God you people are needy.

    *laughs*
  • UnitedBoy83
    UnitedBoy83 Posts: 888 Member
    I'd like to think i'd make an excellent MFP husband! :flowerforyou:

    british? tall? DIBS!

    How you doin'?! :bigsmile:
  • TheGirlsATimeBomb
    TheGirlsATimeBomb Posts: 434 Member
    I'd like to think i'd make an excellent MFP husband! :flowerforyou:

    british? tall? DIBS!

    How you doin'?! :bigsmile:

    he's mine no taksies backsies. *evil grin and rubs hand together* :devil: :devil: :devil:
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    How do you have the time to create this post, what with all that sandwich making you should be doing.




























    I KID, I KID!
    :laugh:
  • spartyhawk
    spartyhawk Posts: 136
    I think I would be a good MFP husband as well, I wanted an MFP wife is she will have me:wink:
  • lindsaylove07
    lindsaylove07 Posts: 444 Member
    I do all that **** in real life... you can't expect me to do it here, too. God you people are needy.
    bahahaha
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
    Damn... I'm out. I like cooking too much.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    I could probably fit into those categories if you include hockey \m/

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