MFP Husband
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Get ready for a MFP sword fight...
No reason for a sword fight....ever heard of an Eiffel Tower? As long as the balls don't touch I'm cool.
Oh FFS...:laugh:0 -
Get ready for a MFP sword fight...
No reason for a sword fight....ever heard of an Eiffel Tower? As long as the balls don't touch I'm cool.
And....../thread.
P.S. I choked on my drink :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Get ready for a MFP sword fight...
No reason for a sword fight....ever heard of an Eiffel Tower? As long as the balls don't touch I'm cool.
P.S. I choked on my drink :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
x20 -
1. What?
2. Looks like you're slacking on your cardio, babe. *puts another Snickers in the deep fryer*
3. #%&ing @*&%^
4. Look over there! *Damn her friend has a nice *kitten**
5. Yeah, dinner was okay, I guess. Take care of those dishes, will ya? Gonna go to Hooters with the guys...Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:
1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
3. Regularly say insensitive things
4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you
Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!
Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.
I have found the perfect Mfp husband. No longer accepting applications, gentlemen. He will be sufficient.
Now, after we sext for a while we are eventually going to have children. Be sure to refer to it as "babysitting" (as if you are doing me a favor) when you have to watch them by yourself. I especially love that.
Friendly reminder, today is our anniversary. And my birthday is January 8th. You'll need to know this to make sure you forget it. Okay, snookums?0 -
play the fighting music lol0
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What, babe? Did you say dinner was ready? Just keep it warm, I'm almost done playing COD...1. What?
2. Looks like you're slacking on your cardio, babe. *puts another Snickers in the deep fryer*
3. #%&ing @*&%^
4. Look over there! *Damn her friend has a nice *kitten**
5. Yeah, dinner was okay, I guess. Take care of those dishes, will ya? Gonna go to Hooters with the guys...Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:
1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
3. Regularly say insensitive things
4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you
Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!
Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.
I have found the perfect Mfp husband. No longer accepting applications, gentlemen. He will be sufficient.
Now, after we sext for a while we are eventually going to have children. Be sure to refer to it as "babysitting" (as if you are doing me a favor) when you have to watch them by yourself. I especially love that.
Friendly reminder, today is our anniversary. And my birthday is January 8th. You'll need to know this to make sure you forget it. Okay, snookums?0 -
do i have to think about football, can i think about NASCAR?
while you are thinking about an answer, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
how is that?
You CAN'T think about NASCAR? The last race was Sunday, silly.0 -
Get ready for a MFP sword fight...
No reason for a sword fight....ever heard of an Eiffel Tower? As long as the balls don't touch I'm cool.
OMG I just choked on my water too! lol0 -
What, babe? Did you say dinner was ready? Just keep it warm, I'm almost done playing COD...1. What?
2. Looks like you're slacking on your cardio, babe. *puts another Snickers in the deep fryer*
3. #%&ing @*&%^
4. Look over there! *Damn her friend has a nice *kitten**
5. Yeah, dinner was okay, I guess. Take care of those dishes, will ya? Gonna go to Hooters with the guys...Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:
1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
3. Regularly say insensitive things
4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you
Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!
Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.
I have found the perfect Mfp husband. No longer accepting applications, gentlemen. He will be sufficient.
Now, after we sext for a while we are eventually going to have children. Be sure to refer to it as "babysitting" (as if you are doing me a favor) when you have to watch them by yourself. I especially love that.
Friendly reminder, today is our anniversary. And my birthday is January 8th. You'll need to know this to make sure you forget it. Okay, snookums?
A hubby who plays COD! BOOM!0 -
Oh my gawd. I love this post!!! Thanks for the mid-day laugh heeeeeeeeehehe0
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Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND (just learned we could have those yesterday). Must have the following abilities/skills, etc.:
1. Pretend like you're paying attention to what I say but really be thinking about Monday night football game
2. Expect me to look hot and sexy in all my pics while you let yourself go
3. Regularly say insensitive things
4. Flirt a lot and have a wandering eye - (extra points if you can be horrified when I do)
5. Show little appreciation for everything I do for you
Bonus: ability to sit on sofa and hold a remote control for sustained amounts of time and ignore pile of dishes in sink!!
Submit your résumé and three letters of reference from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.0 -
OMG....having a hard time too not laugh out loud....scared to crap out of my office-mate earlier reading through these hahahaha0
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Just when I was starting to miss being married....BAM. Thanks for the reminder!
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Did the OP say something ... I was distracted by football talk and all the hot chicks' profile pics ...0
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sorry.. not interested in anime0
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Hmm i guess i'm not like most husbands because i enjoy snuggling, watching lifetime, and talking about my feelings and i never want sex.
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Hmm i guess i'm not like most husbands because i enjoy snuggling, watching lifetime, and talking about my feelings and i never want sex.
Win.0 -
sorry.. not interested in anime
That's okay. I prefer my hubby has a head on his shoulders. Although I don't expect him to necessarily think with that one.0 -
Now taking applications for my MFP HUSBAND
Sounds more like a male harem.
And it is not so hot in AZ now.0
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