Achieved Goal, feeling dissappointed
lavaughan69
Posts: 459 Member
A couple of weeks ago I reached my goal weight....actually, I exceeded my goal weight by 2lbs. Yeah me! But after the initial HOORAY I found myself being more critical than ever. I adjusted my goal to lose more because all I see are the lumps and bumps that still remain. I guess I don't really have a question to ask, I just wish I could be satisfied with the positive changes to my body and not focus on the negative aspects, one being loose skin under my chin! Yuck! Maybe after 8 months of dieting I've become too obsessive about things.
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Replies
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Congratulations on achieving your weight loss goal! I understand that it is not uncommon for people to get this feeling of disappointment when they get to goal weight. Sometimes it is because they expect other aspects of their life to change as a result of the change on the scale. Evaluate the root cause of your disappointment (is it appearance and if so, why?) to determine if more weight loss is the answer, or perhaps more exercise (such as weight lifting). Sometimes disappointment is more related to the emotions that caused the weight gain in the first place. Whatever you decide, wishing you the best.
ETA: Unfortunately, loose skin is a fact of life as we age and/or lose weight. More weight loss won't solve it. :sad:0 -
This happened to me as well. My goal weight was 140 and I ended up losing 10 more pounds because I was so overly critical of what I saw. I imagined myself to look a lot better then I did. Even at 130 I am still not completely happy with my weight.0
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I know how you feel. I reached my goal though in May of 2013 (Lost 100 pounds was at 133.6) and then I loosened up my calories and gained 10 pounds back and have been struggling with losing since then. I weigh 141 now and am wanting to get in the range of 125-130 now.. I have loose skin and some fatty deposits in my abdomen (i had a c-section in November 2011 and contribute part of my saggy belly to that and having a baby in there for 41 weeks) but I have been doing my best to get some strength training whether it's weights or total body training. I guess you could make that your focus. Take measurements and see how many inches you can lose. I'm working on trying to get another inch off each thigh and a half inch off my waist and hips yet..0
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Congratulations!! For some, it takes a REALLY long time for your eyes and your brain to adjust to the new you. I started maintance in February, so I am coming up on a year, and i am just now starting to see myself as others see me. What helped for me was weight training...it really does change the way your new skinny self looks. Much of the loose skin (not under my chin :mad:) seems to have been stretched back out by the muscle being built - especially on my thighs and bottom!
Good luck to you - and take your time getting used to how awesome you are!0 -
You should probably start putting more emphasis on body composition/re-comp...dieting and cardio isn't going to cut it...you need to do resistance work. Most people eventually realize that dieting and cardio alone is not what is going to give them the body/physique they are looking for...that physique comes with resistance work...namely weight training.0
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I'm sorry, I know how you feel as I went through the same thing. Just make sure you don't let it push you back into unhealthy living and it will pass.0
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I'm with Cwolfman, ask not how much lighter you can become, but how strong are you? How much stronger can you be?0
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You should probably start putting more emphasis on body composition/re-comp...dieting and cardio isn't going to cut it...you need to do resistance work. Most people eventually realize that dieting and cardio alone is not what is going to give them the body/physique they are looking for...that physique comes with resistance work...namely weight training.
This is what I'm thinking too. At this point, forget the scale since it's not making you happy. Work on changing the shape of your body now, not the weight of your body.0 -
You should probably start putting more emphasis on body composition/re-comp...dieting and cardio isn't going to cut it...you need to do resistance work. Most people eventually realize that dieting and cardio alone is not what is going to give them the body/physique they are looking for...that physique comes with resistance work...namely weight training.
This is what I'm thinking too. At this point, forget the scale since it's not making you happy. Work on changing the shape of your body now, not the weight of your body.
As a matter of emphasis, I'm about 5 lbs heavier than I was when I hit my initial goal weight...but I've dropped 2% BF at the same time and about an inch around my waist...and my wedding ring needs to be re-sized again. That is the power of the bar and plates...0 -
I am just starting out on this journey but I have already determined that I have to have weight training. In the last six months with the help of my trainer I have lost 3 inches in my hips and 2 in my waist and bust. I have only been actively doing the things that will help me to loose weight for three months so I have only lost 15 pounds. I work with my trainer 3 timex a week and do cardio for at least 30 minutes 5 times a week. I am now wearing clothes I could not put on three months ago and I have to go shopping since my pants are falling off. I still have some loose skin from the 35 pounds I lost 3 years ago and I don't think any exercise will help your neck. However the loose belly is slowly getting firmer and my thinghs and but are getting very firm. Hate squats and core work but they are really paying off. That is the good thing about a trainer They keep you honest and they push you further than you will push yourself. I guess what I am trying to say is that if at the age of 67 I can firm my body I am sure if you persist you can do it. It won't happen overningh but if you just hang in there it will come. This is a wonderful site to get encouragement on.0
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Thank you everyone for your support.
*sigh* weight training. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.
1. I can't afford a gym membership right now.
2. tiny little house, so no place to put a home gym
3. the above two are my favorite excuses to use to deflect the fact that I don't like the idea of weight training!
I have 2lbs and 5lbs weights at home that I use irregularity...yes I know that won't cut it. I was thinking about Pilates or yoga in the new year.
I guess it's more about learning not to compare myself to other thinner people and learning to be happy with who I am...but is that settling? Should I always push myself? I agree, maybe I need to stop looking at the number now, I'll redo my measurements and I'll work at strengthening my core, and strengthening my mind.0 -
maybe switch the focus a bit. try some healthy exercise you have always wanted to be good at. for me, when i reach goal, i want to start ballet classes. : )0
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I am so glad that I read these post, has been an eye-opener. I lost 50+lbs last year, and have been trying to lose 10 more but it's been difficult. Since I joined MFP 10 days ago, I've been able to lose 2lbs so far...believe me, it's been far better than my previous efforts...I think this one will work. However, the part about the after-feelings...I am kinda relieved that others experience that...because I don't really like the dissatisfaction of myself. Although other people make such nice comments about how I currently look, I do not feel satisfied with my arms and thighs.
I have to admit though, that my focus has only been on diet and cardio...I jog almost everyday for 45-60mins, and do Pilates once a week for 50mins. But I agree that to now shape my physique, there must be weight training. I definitely need to fit weight training into my schedule. Thanks guys!0 -
Thank you everyone for your support.
*sigh* weight training. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.
1. I can't afford a gym membership right now.
2. tiny little house, so no place to put a home gym
3. the above two are my favorite excuses to use to deflect the fact that I don't like the idea of weight training!
I have 2lbs and 5lbs weights at home that I use irregularity...yes I know that won't cut it. I was thinking about Pilates or yoga in the new year.
I guess it's more about learning not to compare myself to other thinner people and learning to be happy with who I am...but is that settling? Should I always push myself? I agree, maybe I need to stop looking at the number now, I'll redo my measurements and I'll work at strengthening my core, and strengthening my mind.
Unfortunately - it is the only way. I WAS a cardio fiend (hate it but did it because I thought that is what I was supposed to do) and I did the "OMG can't eat over 1200 calories" .. biggest mistake ever and I gave up.
Now this time, I decided I will eat what I want and eat well. I began weight training. At first, I was in the "I don't have money to spend" mantra. I decided - too bad and if I wanted the body then I had to work for it. Personally, I bought my own equipment and repurposed my unused dining room into my gym. However, if you don't have room then you can do "You are your own gym" or Convict conditioning. Both of these use Bodyweight with fantastic results.
It is just a re-evaluation of your goals
ETA: I now do NO cardio and lift 3x a week.0 -
You dont necessarily need a gym membership to have home a gym-- look up HIIT workouts you can do at home, these are most effective and you basically use your own body weight to do them. Moves like burpees, mountain climbers, jumping jacks done at a burst of 30 seconds each with no rest period (usually rest after 1 minute) for 20 minutes, REALLY does wonders for your body.
Also there are dozens of moves you can do with your free weights, weighted lunges, squats. Trust me, your body will look so much better if you stick to it! You can also look up TABATA moves-- posting a link below.
They all work, just have to commit to it!!
http://greatist.com/fitness/best-tabata-moves0 -
There are so many goals you can set! It's not all about weight. Have you tried strength training as part of your routine?! Watch how strong you can get in just a couple months!0
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However, if you don't have room then you can do "You are your own gym" or Convict conditioning. Both of these use Bodyweight with fantastic results.
I've never heard of that, off to google I go!
My husband was laughing at me trying to do some basic moves, sit ups, push ups etc. in our livingroom (the only room with any space at all) and I was constantly banging something...including our low ceilings. And don't even get me started about my black lab that thinks anytime I'm on the floor means play time for her!0 -
Sorry, didn't see the other ones re. weight training. There's so much you can do at home with body weight. Try it out
Lots online programs are free. Try Bodybuilding.com! 0 -
I guess it's more about learning not to compare myself to other thinner people and learning to be happy with who I am...but is that settling? Should I always push myself? I agree, maybe I need to stop looking at the number now, I'll redo my measurements and I'll work at strengthening my core, and strengthening my mind.
One of the greatest things I have ever heard is comparison is the thief of happiness....so true.0 -
You could set a new goal, not a weight loss goal, maybe a performance goal, like doing handstands or chin ups, a sporting event, learning a language, writing a book, keeping a journal, learning to dance.
When I realized that losing more weight made me look worse, not better, I was a little disappointed. On the other hand, maintaining your new weight is work too, and there are a lot of other ways to keep improving.0 -
It may take a while for your skin to adjust to the new you.0
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I kind of had this but then I directed my energies into my fitness level and seeing all I could now do with my "new" body. I learned, at this weight, I could do a lot of very enjoyable things (yoga, biking etc...) at a level I could not do before. This has become my motivation for maintaining my weight and gotten me away from how I "look" to what I can "do". By the way, doing all these new fitness things is bringing me the "look" I want without obsessing over it. Funny how that works. Best of luck and congratulations!0
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maybe switch the focus a bit. try some healthy exercise you have always wanted to be good at. for me, when i reach goal, i want to start ballet classes. : )
If you start ballet now, it can be healthy exercise sooner rather than later. Dance is wonderful for reasons beyond exercise too.0 -
Thank you everyone for your support.
*sigh* weight training. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.
1. I can't afford a gym membership right now.
2. tiny little house, so no place to put a home gym
3. the above two are my favorite excuses to use to deflect the fact that I don't like the idea of weight training!
I have 2lbs and 5lbs weights at home that I use irregularity...yes I know that won't cut it. I was thinking about Pilates or yoga in the new year.
I guess it's more about learning not to compare myself to other thinner people and learning to be happy with who I am...but is that settling? Should I always push myself? I agree, maybe I need to stop looking at the number now, I'll redo my measurements and I'll work at strengthening my core, and strengthening my mind.
You do NOT need to lift. Strength training comes in many forms, and includes pilates and yoga. For the cost of a mat, bands, and an exercise ball you can strength train. We're talking under $50 for items that will last with daily use for 2-5 years before needing replacement. Borrow DVD's from the library.
Spend 30 minutes a day in a core-centric yoga practice and in six months your abs will be amazing.0 -
Appreciate how far you have come by taking before and after pics. If you don't have any before, take a pic of you in your old cllothes.
I reached my first goal and wasn't quite happy so lost another 5. I'm happy with the weight now.
Take up running, it's cheap and fun. You still have to strength train in between runs.0 -
It's normal to feel this way-the day I hit my original goal weight it was a huge let down. I still had problem areas and I didn't all of a sudden feel any better about myself. I think many of us believe that once we hit goal, then everything magically changes and we'll look like VS models :laugh: Reality is we now have sagging skin, still have lumps and on top of that we now don't have a clue what comes next.
For me personally, I had to lose almost 20lbs more than my initial goal weight, start exercising (started walking the week I hit goal and now I walk, run and do some strength exercises), plus give my body several months to adjust, before I finally came to the point where I'm very happy with how I look, with and without clothes. Hitting goal is just one step in this process and now the next phase will start for you 0 -
Thank you everyone for your support.
*sigh* weight training. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.
1. I can't afford a gym membership right now.
2. tiny little house, so no place to put a home gym
3. the above two are my favorite excuses to use to deflect the fact that I don't like the idea of weight training!
I have 2lbs and 5lbs weights at home that I use irregularity...yes I know that won't cut it. I was thinking about Pilates or yoga in the new year.
I guess it's more about learning not to compare myself to other thinner people and learning to be happy with who I am...but is that settling? Should I always push myself? I agree, maybe I need to stop looking at the number now, I'll redo my measurements and I'll work at strengthening my core, and strengthening my mind.
you don't necessarily need weights...it's the most efficient way to resistance train, but you can do a lot with body weight and even just some resistance bands. Look into programs like, "You Are Your Own Gym" or "Convict Conditioning".
Also, take a look see here for some ideas...
http://www.nerdfitness.com/about-2/
nerdfitness has some great ideas for body weight stuff as well. The key is to provide resistance to all of the muscles in your body...over time, this will change the composition and re-shape your body.0 -
It took me a while to get out of the "I need to lose more weight" mindset, too. I think it's a pretty normal response to the start of maintenance, but it passes.
I've seen amazing changes in my body from strength training. I started with 5# dumbbells and a book on dumbbell exercises that I checked out of the library ("101 Ways to Work Out with Weights") and then got a 40# set of adjustable dumbbells. I was able to store all my workout equipment under a side table in my living room, and do my workouts while watching TV!
Gym memberships come at a lot of price points, too. Personally, I like working out at home (and have rearranged my space to make room for a real weight bench), but there are lots of other options. Many community centers have weight rooms, and gym memberships for no-frills places can be as little as $10 a month. Some universities and community colleges offer low-cost memberships to use their gym facilities, or perhaps you have a friend who lives in a housing community with a weight room who would like a workout buddy. Many health insurance plans also offer discounts on gym memberships, too. If you want to make it happen, you can.0 -
Thank you everyone for your support.
*sigh* weight training. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.
1. I can't afford a gym membership right now.
2. tiny little house, so no place to put a home gym
3. the above two are my favorite excuses to use to deflect the fact that I don't like the idea of weight training!
I have 2lbs and 5lbs weights at home that I use irregularity...yes I know that won't cut it. I was thinking about Pilates or yoga in the new year.
I guess it's more about learning not to compare myself to other thinner people and learning to be happy with who I am...but is that settling? Should I always push myself? I agree, maybe I need to stop looking at the number now, I'll redo my measurements and I'll work at strengthening my core, and strengthening my mind.
Get a set of TRX bands and do body weight work with them at home. It will KICK YOUR BUTT.
I know that many women do not like the idea of weight training...honestly, 2 years ago I would have laughed if you told me that I would be doing strength training 4-5x per week. I will tell you, I feel totally bad *kitten* when I am squatting with 95lbs on my collarbone, or 140lbs on my back. Seeing the look on the boys faces as I am loading multiple 45lb plates on the leg press makes me smile.
You won't get all bulky (unless you want to) picking up heavy things. I promise you!0 -
I'm not feeling disappointed, but I can definitely relate. I'm so close to meeting my goal (116, weighed 117.2 this morning), but I just know I'm not going to be completely happy when I get there. I now want to adjust my goal to 110. This puts me at the very bottom of the BMI chart for my height (5'4) but I just want to be thinner. I'm not starving myself, eating healthy and working out, so I don't see the harm in losing more. Below 108 is considered underweight for my height. I'm still happy with how far I've come and you should be so proud of yourself!0
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