One Night Stand - Liberating or shameful?
Options
Replies
-
Always lasts longer than one night...I must be doing it wrong. *shrugs*0
-
I'm gonna agree with the neither shameful nor liberating camp on this one. They can be fun, they can be awful. Depends largely on the partner, setting, state of mind, etc. To many variables to make a blanket decision.
I will say, though, that I believe there is a moral component to sex, beyond consent, for many people. Not everyone has the same view, therefore you cannot say sex has nothing to do with morality. To some, sex is inextricably linked to religion/marriage. There would most definitely be a moral component to sex for them. To some, sex is a recreational activity, so it's less likely there would be a moral issue.
For me, I'm trying to figure out my changing views on it. I grew up believing that sex was only okay within a marriage. Then I decided it was okay within a loving relationship. Then, I realized how fun it can be and now see it as more recreational. That being said, I find it a different experience to have sex for fun and to have sex within a loving committed relationship. (that's not to say that sex within a relationship isn't fun, btw!) Neither is better or worse, just different. And equally rewarding!!!
There is a moral component to sex?
NOPE
Morality- principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior
You tell me how sex between two consenting adults can be used to show a person's ability to determine right from wrong. Please enlighten me as to who is being hurt and how casual sex can be seen as unethical.
As I said, if one is religious and believes the link between sex and marriage, that person would likely think a one night stand has a lot to do with good/bad behavior and right/wrong.
You don't like me. You love to argue. It's cool. I get it. But you're not always the authority on all things sex-related. Others have valid opinions/ideas. It's not a right or wrong answer.
Ok. So "because the bible" said so. Great argument! Religion sure is great at showing logical proof for determining if something is ethical.
It's not that I don't like you. It's just that you're wrong. And I like stating my opinions not arguing. I never said I was the authority. I just happen to have a working brain and don't take "because religion says it's wrong" as a valid answer.0 -
Almost nothing is 100% effective, but if you don't want to be pregnant, there aren't any better options short of abortion.
Abstinence is 100%, just sayin. As far as abortion, I'm not opening that can of worms........
Nothing is 100% effective once you've had sex and have a possibility of getting pregnant. The topic was plan-b after having had sex when the condom didn't work. READING COMPREHENSION!!0 -
I'm gonna agree with the neither shameful nor liberating camp on this one. They can be fun, they can be awful. Depends largely on the partner, setting, state of mind, etc. To many variables to make a blanket decision.
I will say, though, that I believe there is a moral component to sex, beyond consent, for many people. Not everyone has the same view, therefore you cannot say sex has nothing to do with morality. To some, sex is inextricably linked to religion/marriage. There would most definitely be a moral component to sex for them. To some, sex is a recreational activity, so it's less likely there would be a moral issue.
For me, I'm trying to figure out my changing views on it. I grew up believing that sex was only okay within a marriage. Then I decided it was okay within a loving relationship. Then, I realized how fun it can be and now see it as more recreational. That being said, I find it a different experience to have sex for fun and to have sex within a loving committed relationship. (that's not to say that sex within a relationship isn't fun, btw!) Neither is better or worse, just different. And equally rewarding!!!
There is a moral component to sex?
NOPE
Morality- principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior
You tell me how sex between two consenting adults can be used to show a person's ability to determine right from wrong. Please enlighten me as to who is being hurt and how casual sex can be seen as unethical.
You know, some people have a different opinion than yours, believe it or not.
Believe it or not, some people believe that sex before marriage, or sex without being in a relationship is wrong. That is the moral component to sex. I'm not sure the argument here?
Believing something doesn't make it true. Basic logic.0 -
I'm gonna agree with the neither shameful nor liberating camp on this one. They can be fun, they can be awful. Depends largely on the partner, setting, state of mind, etc. To many variables to make a blanket decision.
I will say, though, that I believe there is a moral component to sex, beyond consent, for many people. Not everyone has the same view, therefore you cannot say sex has nothing to do with morality. To some, sex is inextricably linked to religion/marriage. There would most definitely be a moral component to sex for them. To some, sex is a recreational activity, so it's less likely there would be a moral issue.
For me, I'm trying to figure out my changing views on it. I grew up believing that sex was only okay within a marriage. Then I decided it was okay within a loving relationship. Then, I realized how fun it can be and now see it as more recreational. That being said, I find it a different experience to have sex for fun and to have sex within a loving committed relationship. (that's not to say that sex within a relationship isn't fun, btw!) Neither is better or worse, just different. And equally rewarding!!!
There is a moral component to sex?
NOPE
Morality- principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior
You tell me how sex between two consenting adults can be used to show a person's ability to determine right from wrong. Please enlighten me as to who is being hurt and how casual sex can be seen as unethical.
You know, some people have a different opinion than yours, believe it or not.
Believe it or not, some people believe that sex before marriage, or sex without being in a relationship is wrong. That is the moral component to sex. I'm not sure the argument here?
Believing something doesn't make it true. Basic logic.
Correct.
If you want to sleep with whomever you want, go for it. I won't judge. But I am curious as to why you sit here and judge everyone who has a different opinion than you?0 -
I'm gonna agree with the neither shameful nor liberating camp on this one. They can be fun, they can be awful. Depends largely on the partner, setting, state of mind, etc. To many variables to make a blanket decision.
I will say, though, that I believe there is a moral component to sex, beyond consent, for many people. Not everyone has the same view, therefore you cannot say sex has nothing to do with morality. To some, sex is inextricably linked to religion/marriage. There would most definitely be a moral component to sex for them. To some, sex is a recreational activity, so it's less likely there would be a moral issue.
For me, I'm trying to figure out my changing views on it. I grew up believing that sex was only okay within a marriage. Then I decided it was okay within a loving relationship. Then, I realized how fun it can be and now see it as more recreational. That being said, I find it a different experience to have sex for fun and to have sex within a loving committed relationship. (that's not to say that sex within a relationship isn't fun, btw!) Neither is better or worse, just different. And equally rewarding!!!
There is a moral component to sex?
NOPE
Morality- principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior
You tell me how sex between two consenting adults can be used to show a person's ability to determine right from wrong. Please enlighten me as to who is being hurt and how casual sex can be seen as unethical.
As I said, if one is religious and believes the link between sex and marriage, that person would likely think a one night stand has a lot to do with good/bad behavior and right/wrong.
You don't like me. You love to argue. It's cool. I get it. But you're not always the authority on all things sex-related. Others have valid opinions/ideas. It's not a right or wrong answer.
Ok. So "because the bible" said so. Great argument! Religion sure is great at showing logical proof for determining if something is ethical.
It's not that I don't like you. It's just that you're wrong. And I like stating my opinions not arguing. I never said I was the authority. I just happen to have a working brain and don't take "because religion says it's wrong" as a valid answer.
Emma-you're a smart girl. You know better. Some people 100% believe that "because the Bible said so" is a valid argument. The Bible influences their views on sex, love, marriage, right and wrong, child-rearing, etc. People believing in something you don't does not make them wrong and you right. It makes your opinions and beliefs different. That's all.
Morality and ethics are on a continuum. There are very few things that are right or wrong. You're educated. In social sciences, if memory serves. You, of all people, should be able to see both sides of this coin.0 -
Sometimes people just need to feel physically wanted.0
-
I'm an old fashioned girl so it wouldn't be something I would engage in.
I am not sure it is all that safe either - strangers and diseases etc.
Um, you do know that there's this neat invention called condoms, right? And this other neat thing called "STD testing" that many adults do?
A friend of mine got pregnant on a one night stand and that was with a condom so they aren't 100% safe.
Like I said it isn't something that I would engage in. I don't judge people that do as it isn't any of my business.
It's always a friend!
But she lied to you about it by the way.
I know condoms are not 100% but in this case they weren't there.0 -
^this. Everyone has perspective which is psychologically made up of experiences, beliefs, culture....the list of factors that can go on....and all can be incorporated in how a person views sex, preference, etc. some people place stigmas upon the act, others attach more emotion. Some not at all. Combined all of that influences an opinion on sex, and in my opinion, everyone is entitled to their feelings as long as they are not rudely berating others. I personally thrive on emotional attachment and see no fulfilling attributes to a one time sexual encounter. I have plenty of friends who love one night stands and I don't see any negativity in their decision. It works for them. My choices work for me.I'm gonna agree with the neither shameful nor liberating camp on this one. They can be fun, they can be awful. Depends largely on the partner, setting, state of mind, etc. To many variables to make a blanket decision.
I will say, though, that I believe there is a moral component to sex, beyond consent, for many people. Not everyone has the same view, therefore you cannot say sex has nothing to do with morality. To some, sex is inextricably linked to religion/marriage. There would most definitely be a moral component to sex for them. To some, sex is a recreational activity, so it's less likely there would be a moral issue.
For me, I'm trying to figure out my changing views on it. I grew up believing that sex was only okay within a marriage. Then I decided it was okay within a loving relationship. Then, I realized how fun it can be and now see it as more recreational. That being said, I find it a different experience to have sex for fun and to have sex within a loving committed relationship. (that's not to say that sex within a relationship isn't fun, btw!) Neither is better or worse, just different. And equally rewarding!!!
There is a moral component to sex?
NOPE
Morality- principles concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior
You tell me how sex between two consenting adults can be used to show a person's ability to determine right from wrong. Please enlighten me as to who is being hurt and how casual sex can be seen as unethical.
You know, some people have a different opinion than yours, believe it or not.
Believe it or not, some people believe that sex before marriage, or sex without being in a relationship is wrong. That is the moral component to sex. I'm not sure the argument here?
Believing something doesn't make it true. Basic logic.
Correct.
If you want to sleep with whomever you want, go for it. I won't judge. But I am curious as to why you sit here and judge everyone who has a different opinion than you?
0 -
Believing something doesn't make it true. Basic logic.
Correct.
If you want to sleep with whomever you want, go for it. I won't judge. But I am curious as to why you sit here and judge everyone who has a different opinion than you?
I never judged anyone. I never said anyone had a stick up their butt or were bad people for wanting to only have sex in love. While on the other hand lots of people said that having casual sex was disgusting and a moral issue and that people who have it are bound to be riddled with disease.
As someone who has long worked in sexual health, I find that thinking to be intolerable. As an agnostic I try to do my best not to judge religious people but when those ideas seep into culture and are used to judge someone's sexuality I find it hard not to talk back. I work in a swing club with people who are safe and enjoy casual sex. All of whom are intelligent and good people who have shown me nothing but kindness and all of whom have safer sex practices than the average NYer. So the misconceptions on casual sex appear to me to be nothing but religious scare tactics.
And honestly if "casual" was replace with "homosexual" we wouldn't be having this conversation. Everyone has a different sexuality and preferences when it comes to sex. Why is it so acceptable to judge some and not others?0 -
Why do you need Plan B for homosexual sex again?0
-
Ok. So "because the bible" said so. Great argument! Religion sure is great at showing logical proof for determining if something is ethical.
It's not that I don't like you. It's just that you're wrong. And I like stating my opinions not arguing. I never said I was the authority. I just happen to have a working brain and don't take "because religion says it's wrong" as a valid answer.
Emma-you're a smart girl. You know better. Some people 100% believe that "because the Bible said so" is a valid argument. The Bible influences their views on sex, love, marriage, right and wrong, child-rearing, etc. People believing in something you don't does not make them wrong and you right. It makes your opinions and beliefs different. That's all.
Morality and ethics are on a continuum. There are very few things that are right or wrong. You're educated. In social sciences, if memory serves. You, of all people, should be able to see both sides of this coin.
There are a lot of things that people believe. Yes, my social science background tells me that a lot of it is cultural and religion is part of how people are brought up. That's pretty easy to understand.
Yes morality is a spectrum and it is culturally relative, but in order to make decisions on what is or isn't moral there has to be a basis to which to make that decision. Religion alone doesn't suffice in terms of basic logic. It simply isn't adequate proof of whether something is right or wrong to say "because X says this". It's like a 3 year old saying "hitting people is bad because mommy told me so". Even if the answer is right, the thought process isn't there.0 -
Believing something doesn't make it true. Basic logic.
Correct.
If you want to sleep with whomever you want, go for it. I won't judge. But I am curious as to why you sit here and judge everyone who has a different opinion than you?
I never judged anyone. I never said anyone had a stick up their butt or were bad people for wanting to only have sex in love. While on the other hand lots of people said that having casual sex was disgusting and a moral issue and that people who have it are bound to be riddled with disease.
As someone who has long worked in sexual health, I find that thinking to be intolerable. As an agnostic I try to do my best not to judge religious people but when those ideas seep into culture and are used to judge someone's sexuality I find it hard not to talk back. I work in a swing club with people who are safe and enjoy casual sex. All of whom are intelligent and good people who have shown me nothing but kindness and all of whom have safer sex practices than the average NYer. So the misconceptions on casual sex appear to me to be nothing but religious scare tactics.
And honestly if "casual" was replace with "homosexual" we wouldn't be having this conversation. Everyone has a different sexuality and preferences when it comes to sex. Why is it so acceptable to judge some and not others?
Wow.
If people don't want to sleep around because of diseases or scared of getting pregnant, then that's their deal. It's not a scare tactic, they are real possibilities, and it is a moral issue for some people, you're just too damn blind to see it.
You know why I don't have casual sex? Because it makes me uncomfortable. I like to have feelings for the person I am having sex with. IT'S A MORAL ISSUE. I'm not saying that other people sleeping around is bad, it's just not my deal. Many people share my beliefs.
Now, I am done here because I can't decide what's dumber..you picking fights over the internet, or me for falling for it.0 -
I'm an old fashioned girl so it wouldn't be something I would engage in.
I am not sure it is all that safe either - strangers and diseases etc.
Um, you do know that there's this neat invention called condoms, right? And this other neat thing called "STD testing" that many adults do?
Agreed. No one suggested unsafe casual sex. Also, a friend of mine got herpes from her husband (now ex) because she didn't know he was cheating, so being in love isn't always a foolproof way to stay away from diseases.0 -
“As someone who has long worked in sexual health"
^^ Really? How long? You're 23. :huh:
Let's stop exaggerating. You're telling people their beliefs are wrong. No one is judging you for your decisions. Sleep with anyone you want, and I will do the same.
Bless your heart. :flowerforyou:0 -
Do what makes you happy and fvck what anyone else thinks.0
-
Emma, sit back for a moment, take a breath. Realize you and I are no more right in our beliefs on morality and casual sex than those with a stricter belief about the morality of casual sex.
Believing something doesn't make it true. Basic logic.
Correct.
If you want to sleep with whomever you want, go for it. I won't judge. But I am curious as to why you sit here and judge everyone who has a different opinion than you?
I never judged anyone. I never said anyone had a stick up their butt or were bad people for wanting to only have sex in love. While on the other hand lots of people said that having casual sex was disgusting and a moral issue and that people who have it are bound to be riddled with disease.
As someone who has long worked in sexual health, I find that thinking to be intolerable. As an agnostic I try to do my best not to judge religious people but when those ideas seep into culture and are used to judge someone's sexuality I find it hard not to talk back. I work in a swing club with people who are safe and enjoy casual sex. All of whom are intelligent and good people who have shown me nothing but kindness and all of whom have safer sex practices than the average NYer. So the misconceptions on casual sex appear to me to be nothing but religious scare tactics.
And honestly if "casual" was replace with "homosexual" we wouldn't be having this conversation. Everyone has a different sexuality and preferences when it comes to sex. Why is it so acceptable to judge some and not others?0 -
I'm an old fashioned girl so it wouldn't be something I would engage in.
I am not sure it is all that safe either - strangers and diseases etc.
Um, you do know that there's this neat invention called condoms, right? And this other neat thing called "STD testing" that many adults do?
I could be wrong here but I'm pretty sure there are at least 2 types of STD that condoms can't actually prevent....and they're both of the long term, once you got em you got em for life type.....0 -
“As someone who has long worked in sexual health"
^^ Really? How long? You're 23. :huh:
Let's stop exaggerating. You're telling people their beliefs are wrong. No one is judging you for your decisions. Sleep with anyone you want, and I will do the same.
Bless your heart. :flowerforyou:
Spent a year working with Planned Parenthood teaching at-risk teenage girls. I've been handing out condoms at Gay Pride and talking about sex with my peers since I was 13. Worked with sexual assault prevention groups on-campus in college. Co-edited a publication about female sexuality and sexual health all through college. Currently a graduate student studying public health, including sexual health.
You're 32 and you work as a glorified receptionist. Let's not exaggerate our contribution to this discussion as well, shall we?0 -
OK. This topic isn't really worth getting pissy over and I have homework to do that I've been procrastinating on. So I'm out. Goodnight, y'all.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392.1K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.9K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.4K Fitness and Exercise
- 403 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions