Do you "check" your spouse?

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SemperAnticus1643
SemperAnticus1643 Posts: 703 Member
in Chit-Chat
I recently read an article that says that women should check women and men should check men. The wife needs to focus on being a great wife and not say anything to the husband about how he should act and the husband should do the same for his wife. How do you feel about that? Do you check your spouse?
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  • hotmomma0612
    hotmomma0612 Posts: 651 Member
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    I recently read an article that says that women should check women and men should check men. The wife needs to focus on being a great wife and not say anything to the husband about how he should act and the husband should do the same for his wife. How do you feel about that? Do you check your spouse?

    What? :huh:
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
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    Um... yeah. Was this an article from the 50's?

    Why not just be a decent human being and not worry about fitting yourself into some sort of label?
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
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    It is better to say what you feel.
    No need to say it in a manner that would hurt the feelings of the other party.
  • mammamaurer
    mammamaurer Posts: 418 Member
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    yes when he is being an a-hole i call him out on it.... sombody has to for crying out loud:flowerforyou:
  • EnuffaMyButt
    EnuffaMyButt Posts: 111 Member
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    What the hell? I don't even understand the freaking question!
  • Cindyinpg
    Cindyinpg Posts: 3,902 Member
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    I recently read an article that says that women should check women and men should check men. The wife needs to focus on being a great wife and not say anything to the husband about how he should act and the husband should do the same for his wife. How do you feel about that? Do you check your spouse?
    Check for what? Contraband?
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    I remind my man of what I expect of him. He does the same. Sometimes we fight. Sometimes we're civil and act nicely about it. I'm not a doormat and will bite his head off, chew it, and spit it out if necessary.


    Eta: she means "putting someone on 'check' for actin' da fool!!!!! Lmao!!!!
  • SemperAnticus1643
    SemperAnticus1643 Posts: 703 Member
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    Um... yeah. Was this an article from the 50's?

    Why not just be a decent human being and not worry about fitting yourself into some sort of label?

    No, this was said from a woman that truly believes that a wife has no right to tell her husband how he should be acting. That if she acts right then he will to.

    As a woman that is recently separated from my husband, that ideaology DOES NOT work. I spent many years having my husbands back, supporting his decisions (good AND bad), saving him from his bad decisions and trying to remain calm and be a great wife in hopes that he would change. Yeah, that doesn't work, especially in my house. The article also said that women have their roles and men have their roles. Those roles don't need to be crossed, exchanged or anything. I was forced to carry both roles in my marriage because my husband wouldn't step into his.
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
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    poorly worded OP. but, i think honesty is always best. just deliver it with a little sugar.
  • SemperAnticus1643
    SemperAnticus1643 Posts: 703 Member
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    I recently read an article that says that women should check women and men should check men. The wife needs to focus on being a great wife and not say anything to the husband about how he should act and the husband should do the same for his wife. How do you feel about that? Do you check your spouse?
    Check for what? Contraband?

    Tell him what he's doing wrong. Do you let your spouse know what they should be doing? The article stated that a woman should not tell a man what he should be doing and a man shouldn't tell a wife what she should be doing. Each needs to focus on themselves to be a better person.
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
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    Um... yeah. Was this an article from the 50's?

    Why not just be a decent human being and not worry about fitting yourself into some sort of label?

    No, this was said from a woman that truly believes that a wife has no right to tell her husband how he should be acting. That if she acts right then he will to.

    As a woman that is recently separated from my husband, that ideaology DOES NOT work. I spent many years having my husbands back, supporting his decisions (good AND bad), saving him from his bad decisions and trying to remain calm and be a great wife in hopes that he would change. Yeah, that doesn't work, especially in my house. The article also said that women have their roles and men have their roles. Those roles don't need to be crossed, exchanged or anything. I was forced to carry both roles in my marriage because my husband wouldn't step into his.
    Uh... She's nuts. That woman that feels like that.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    if you cant say anything nice don't say anything at all?
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
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    Um... yeah. Was this an article from the 50's?

    Why not just be a decent human being and not worry about fitting yourself into some sort of label?

    No, this was said from a woman that truly believes that a wife has no right to tell her husband how he should be acting. That if she acts right then he will to.

    As a woman that is recently separated from my husband, that ideaology DOES NOT work. I spent many years having my husbands back, supporting his decisions (good AND bad), saving him from his bad decisions and trying to remain calm and be a great wife in hopes that he would change. Yeah, that doesn't work, especially in my house. The article also said that women have their roles and men have their roles. Those roles don't need to be crossed, exchanged or anything. I was forced to carry both roles in my marriage because my husband wouldn't step into his.

    i see two glaring mistakes you made with regard to the above. you supported your ex-husbands BAD decisions (wtf would you do that?), and you wanted him to change. if you continue with those sorts of actions, i'm afraid you're doomed to be disappointed with most people in your life.

    ETA: read the last part of that a little more closely and it made me LOL and nearly spit out my coffee. men and women having roles that dare not cross? yep. someone's been sifting through articles from the '40s and '50s. Ever heard of the Women's Liberation Movement? Sexual Revolution? These all occurred some 50 years ago. Welcome to the 21st century dear.
  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,487 Member
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    I "check" anyone who is being an ahole or disrespectful, etc.


    And we check each other daily. Accountability of actions is important.
  • ScottH_200
    ScottH_200 Posts: 377 Member
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    I recently read an article that says that women should check women and men should check men. The wife needs to focus on being a great wife and not say anything to the husband about how he should act and the husband should do the same for his wife. How do you feel about that? Do you check your spouse?
    Check for what? Contraband?

    I was thinking for what? Lice?
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
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    if you cant say anything nice don't say anything at all?
    Or just phrase it in a manner that it won't hurt the other person, perhaps.
    Good to get the feelings out, be they nice or not. Not everything will be sunshine, sadly.
  • Leaping_Lemur
    Leaping_Lemur Posts: 121 Member
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    [/quote]
    Check for what? Contraband?
    [/quote]

    We always check each other for ticks after a hike. Does that count?
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    I recently read an article that says that women should check women and men should check men. The wife needs to focus on being a great wife and not say anything to the husband about how he should act and the husband should do the same for his wife. How do you feel about that? Do you check your spouse?
    Check for what? Contraband?
    Check out his glutes?
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    Um... yeah. Was this an article from the 50's?

    Why not just be a decent human being and not worry about fitting yourself into some sort of label?

    No, this was said from a woman that truly believes that a wife has no right to tell her husband how he should be acting. That if she acts right then he will to.


    :laugh: Oh Gawd! Some men want to come home to a clean house and dinner and have the hot side action I suppose :drinker:

    Eta:snip. OP, not laughing at you. I'm sorry you went through that. But was laughing at the suggestion that women should be doormats.
  • FrenchMob
    FrenchMob Posts: 1,167 Member
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    Dafuq? :huh:

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