When a Woman is Mad at You

Ugh, I hate crap like this. Women don't use these techniques, girls do.

I disagree. I feel like you're implying its a lack of maturity using these techniques. To me, it is my way of conveying I'm upset without getting confrontational. I hope he picks up on my displeasure so that I don't need to have it out about everything.

So you hope for him to recognize something's wrong by acting as if everything's fine instead of just telling him? And what if he doesn't get it? How is telling someone how you feel "confrontational"?

What if you've already told him in so many ways a dozen times?? But he just doesn't get it? And you're sick of fighting? So you resort to "fine" or "whatever" to spare another confrontation?

Just break up.

I just don't see the point in any of that. If we're talking about a man who actually loves you, then whatever he did or said was probably not done with the intention of hurting you or pissing you off. So talk to him about it, and then move on. If, as a result of calm, rational evaluation, you're pretty sure he meant to hurt you or piss you off, then your man-picker needs work.

Ugh, I hate crap like this. Women don't use these techniques, girls do.

I disagree. I feel like you're implying its a lack of maturity using these techniques. To me, it is my way of conveying I'm upset without getting confrontational. I hope he picks up on my displeasure so that I don't need to have it out about everything.

So you hope for him to recognize something's wrong by acting as if everything's fine instead of just telling him? And what if he doesn't get it? How is telling someone how you feel "confrontational"?

What if you've already told him in so many ways a dozen times?? But he just doesn't get it? And you're sick of fighting? So you resort to "fine" or "whatever" to spare another confrontation?

Just break up.

+1.

I used to do all the passive aggressive nonsense because I didn't like confrontation, and I probably felt like I wasn't worth being treated right.

Now, I'm completely open and honest with everything. BF tells me yesterday that he wants to do something that I am not OK with, I tell him that if he does this, it will really hurt me. Period. He goes on and on about how I'm misguided and I just say, "I've been upfront about my feelings, misguided or not. Now, it's up to you to decide what you're going to do. Right now, I'm dropping this conversation since we aren't getting anywhere with it." Light bulb for him. I still have no clue what he's going to do, or how I'll react when/if he does it, but there is no question at all about what I think about this and my feelings.

Meh, I guess we'll see...

When upset, many women often use the "Delayed Reaction Maneuver"

How effective is this technique when communicating?

Men: Can you tell when it is being used on you?

1. It is effective on ending a relationship. I'm a grown man, I don't play games or want drama in my life. If something bothers you on what I said, reacted, or did. Tell me.

2. Yes I can tell. I've said this before. Men are simple creatures. We do stupid stuff at times, and we try to one up each other by comparing our size of our penls'. It doesn't mean we don't know when something is bothering you, it just might mean we don't care to play that game of guess why I am mad.

QFT

I have seen many people use this communication style. (and they were not women)

When upset, many women often use the "Delayed Reaction Maneuver"

How effective is this technique when communicating?

Men: Can you tell when it is being used on you?

1. It is effective on ending a relationship. I'm a grown man, I don't play games or want drama in my life. If something bothers you on what I said, reacted, or did. Tell me.


I hate those GUESSing games.

2. Yes I can tell. I've said this before. Men are simple creatures. We do stupid stuff at times, and we try to one up each other by comparing our size of our penls'. It doesn't mean we don't know when something is bothering you, it just might mean we don't care to play that game of guess why I am mad.

My wife understands .. if she tells me she's/it's "FINE" .. I will act as if things are *gasp* ... fine.

My husband often does the "delayed reaction" stuff. We've talked about it and he feels like it's a good thing. Often he'll get upset over something, but then if he waits, when he calms down, he realizes that whatever he was upset about was stupid and lets it okay. If he can't let it go, then we talk about it. If he actually voiced all his "annoyances" we'd fight a lot more because I'm sure I'd take issue at getting *****ed at over stupid things.

But no one should ever say there is nothing wrong when there is. Just say "I don't want to talk about it right now, until I've had time to think".

Relationship. You're doing it right.
Edit: bolded the bits :P

When upset, many women often use the "Delayed Reaction Maneuver"

They do?

How effective is this technique when communicating?

I can't imagine it would be that effective. It sound more passive aggressive than anything else.

Men: Can you tell when it is being used on you?

No. I tend to take women at face value rather than trying to second guess what they mean. If they don't have the courtesy to be honest with me I don't see why I should have the courtesy to care.

Women: Why do we use this communication strategy rather than just being upfront?

Yeah women, why? It must be very frustrating for the recipient.

Usually, when either of us has done something to make the other angry it can go a variety of ways. Sometimes I used the delayed reaction because I am trying to figure out in my head was it worth getting angry over in the first place. Just because my initial reaction was to be upset, doesn't mean that logically I should be upset. I will tell her "x thing" made me angry, but I need to think about things first. She does the same. That and I don't like discussing topics when I am angry. It isn't productive.

*Applause*

Cause B*tches be crazy

^^^nuff said

Goes like this

him -"Hey you want any ice cream?" her - "Nope" him- proceeds to eat the rest of ice cream her - "I wanted some of that" him - "***** off"

Assertive, articulate, and well reasoned in person communication is best.

LMBO - I did!

Ugh, I hate crap like this. Women don't use these techniques, girls do.

I disagree. I feel like you're implying its a lack of maturity using these techniques. To me, it is my way of conveying I'm upset without getting confrontational. I hope he picks up on my displeasure so that I don't need to have it out about everything.

Mind == blown. Being passive aggressive and dishonest versus being confrontational. Yikes.