Very frustrated and upset.

Options
13»

Replies

  • idontlikebeingoverweight
    idontlikebeingoverweight Posts: 9
    Options
    I really didn't want to reply to the negative guy, but it was a matter of three months. It was not a long period of time. I have a severe weight problem and even a few months of not working out and eating high calorie foods piles weight back on.

    I find your tone critical and condescending and I don't need that kind of negativity around me right now.

    If you ask for advice you have to sometimes be willing to take some harsh reality or criticism. The tone he used wasn't condescending or mean, just honest.
    I think it speaks more to your current state of mind that you took it to be a very negative comment. If you create a thread speaking about frustration at 'messing up' not everyone is going to tell you that its all sunshine. Take the good comments, and the harsh comments all with the same pinch of salt. Get back up on the horse and continue to look after yourself and keep moving forward. Youve acknowledged that you want to change, so youre already on your way.

    What I mean is that I don't need someone telling me what I already know (it's my fault this happened). I'm looking for SUPPORT.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    Options
    I really didn't want to reply to the negative guy, but it was a matter of three months. It was not a long period of time. I have a severe weight problem and even a few months of not working out and eating high calorie foods piles weight back on.

    I find your tone critical and condescending and I don't need that kind of negativity around me right now.

    If you ask for advice you have to sometimes be willing to take some harsh reality or criticism. The tone he used wasn't condescending or mean, just honest.
    I think it speaks more to your current state of mind that you took it to be a very negative comment. If you create a thread speaking about frustration at 'messing up' not everyone is going to tell you that its all sunshine. Take the good comments, and the harsh comments all with the same pinch of salt. Get back up on the horse and continue to look after yourself and keep moving forward. Youve acknowledged that you want to change, so youre already on your way.

    What I mean is that I don't need someone telling me what I already know (it's my fault this happened). I'm looking for SUPPORT.

    My point is is that IS support...its someone telling you that yeah, you messed up, but its ok as people do and the best thing to do is just take responsibility and move on.

    What you actually need is not just the support of others, its the support of yourself. Theres nothing wrong with having people to cheer you on, but the most important thing is that you stop beating yourself up and hating your body because thats not going to help you. You need to heal yourself from the inside out, weight is just a number on the scale. It doesnt define you as a person, or take away from any of your accomplishments. I recommend checking out gokaleo.com to try and help your journey out of the binge eating and self hating rabbit hole as it sounds like you have a lot pinned on not being overweight. :flowerforyou:
  • Jlennhikes
    Jlennhikes Posts: 290 Member
    Options
    Choosing your mindset has a lot to do with it. If you decide to view yourself as unable to control it, you will not control it. But the truth is that you are very capable of changing your life. You just have to want it more than the comfort of overeating and a lazy lifestyle.

    Feed your good attitude and starve your bad attitude.

    The good thing about doing what you know is best for you is you can start feeling better right away because you get rid of the guilt and you also get a nice endorphin rush from exercise.
  • Jillian130
    Jillian130 Posts: 174 Member
    Options
    Its up to you to say enough is enough. If you're tired of being sick and tired, then only you can do something about it. You lost the weight, so we know you can do it, the problem is is that you got comfortable again and didn't maintain.
    Think of it this way. If it was hard enough to lose the weight the first time, why would you want to go through all that again and do it a second time? Sometimes we end up with more weight to lose the second time around. Look deep inside yourself and find the real reason why you want to lose the weight. Is it to be healthy and live a long life? Are you beginning to see medical issues on the horizon? Are you tired of feeling depressed about the way you look?
    The changes have to begin with you. You can read about it all you want, hope for it, wish for it, but in the end it all comes down to the work, the sweat and the determination you put into it. Once you lose the weight, maintain it. Fight for it. You are worth it to be the best that you can be, the healthiest that you can be. Find all the tools that work for you, whether its motivational pictures, logging, or support group. Take baby steps every day towards your goal(s). Achieve your goals in small increments so that you can see progress along the way instead of looking at the "big picture".
    You can do this. I KNOW you can. You've proved it to yourself you can. Start today, start now. make your next choice a healthy positive choice in the right direction.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    Options
    I think it is worth mentioning, that it is very doubtful that you have a faulty metabolism. Many people who struggle with their weight assume that this must be the case, but that hasn't been born out in actual research. A faulty metabolism is actually a very rare thing, it turns out. So that makes it pretty simple: calories in less than calories out. Repeat until desired result is reached.

    Think about the weight you lost that has STAYED gone, and just start logging again. Exercise will help you feel better about yourself and also assist in preserving lean body mass.

    You got this. :flowerforyou:
  • disneymom94
    disneymom94 Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    You are NOT a failure! I feel defeated sometimes. Now is one of those times for me too. I have put back on weight that I lost before but I am determined to to make this work. It is not about excuses but about one step at a time and finding a way to change old habits! You can do this!
  • WannabeSC
    WannabeSC Posts: 28 Member
    Options
    Adopt a new form of life that includes the healthy eating and exercise, so that it is not a diet that you stop and everything returns to how it was. Find a form of exercise that you love and won't want to give up, sign up for races, set goals, take hiking vacations just find what moves you and makes you happy and replaces the food addiction. You will find that you make a new social group within that activity and everyone there is eating and active like you, so it is much harder to deviate to your old ways. Go find your passion, food obviously is not making you happy so look somewhere else.
  • TXSweety09
    TXSweety09 Posts: 30
    Options
    Don't beat yourself up. My weight has been up and down for years so recently decided enough was enough and have stuck with it to date. I have bad days (we ALL have) but remember tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. Don't dwell on the past, but focus on the future and how healthy you will be once you get to your goal weight!

    Another tip that has worked for me was not thinking about the goal weight rather small goals. When I started my weight loss journey I needed to lose 200 lbs.... and thinking of 200 all the time was overwhelming (I'll never get to -200 lbs was the biggest thought) so I don't focus on my goal weight, I make small goals (10 lbs at a time) and in 5 months have lost 51 lbs so now I am focusing on that -60, for me that really helps.

    You can do this, You are worth it!!! Good luck and God Bless!!!
  • californiabella
    californiabella Posts: 152
    Options
    I agree with all the other posts that are basically telling you the same thing:

    we're human, we all make mistakes, pick yourself up and move on. It might sound condescending and unsupportive, but at the same time... it's not. It's just the truth.

    You can't expect everyone to coddle you and tell you everything you want to hear. *You* need to start telling yourself the things you want to hear so you can *be* the person you want to be.

    you can achieve anything you set your mind to believe... so don't set yourself up for failure. Remind yourself everyday that you are in control of your life. Accept the things you cannot control. Fortunately for most people, diet and exercise are two things we fully control. Isn't that wonderful?!
  • idontlikebeingoverweight
    idontlikebeingoverweight Posts: 9
    Options
    I think it is worth mentioning, that it is very doubtful that you have a faulty metabolism. Many people who struggle with their weight assume that this must be the case, but that hasn't been born out in actual research. A faulty metabolism is actually a very rare thing, it turns out. So that makes it pretty simple: calories in less than calories out. Repeat until desired result is reached.

    Think about the weight you lost that has STAYED gone, and just start logging again. Exercise will help you feel better about yourself and also assist in preserving lean body mass.

    You got this. :flowerforyou:

    I would believe that, except there are people who would do what I did, and come out with just a few pounds gained. There are people who are prone, genetically, to pile weight on, and I am one of them. My three siblings eat basically whatever they want and have never been fat, so...I do think there's a difference there. Calories seem to be different for everyone.

    I'm not making excuses, I'm just saying. It's so frustrating that a three month lapse would equal a 10 pound weight gain for every month. I do feel very let down right now.

    I bought a scale that measures body fat and it said my body fat was a shocking 40%. It was 47% when I was at my fattest. I just can't believe this happened. It was down to 28% when I was at my healthiest. I was so close to my goal, 25%.

    I am still struggling to work out. I'm glad that I've been taking short walks, but now with winter it's hard to work out outside and right now I don't have money for a gym. I really envy people with home gyms.

Categories