In need of advice: Stuck between 2 guys? Help...

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  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    IMO if you're thinking of getting with another guy, just one month into dating/a relationship (whatever you want to call it) it sounds like you're not all that into him. A month is early days and should be up there in the most exciting times, not times when you're thinking about someone else.

    Not going to tell you what you should do, but personally, if I was in that situation I'd probably end it with the guy you're dating, get my head together / try and work out what you actually want from someone / enjoy being single a while and see where it goes with your friend. You don't have to be with either of them, and as long as both are aware you are entitled to date more than one person. That's what dating's for right? Getting to know someone, without the commitment of a proper relationship?
  • Cali_Chica
    Cali_Chica Posts: 895 Member
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    Some day you'll be on here cause you're stuck with one guy. Enjoy your dilemma.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    as long as every one knows the situation.

    And here lies the problem. :tongue: :laugh:

    Thing is, they don't need to know the details of "the situation". If you aren't exclusive with somebody, that means you are free to date as you see fit without reporting back. Most dudes (not all, certainly) who are 18-22 will happily agree to this type of arrangement, at least for a certain amount of time because NOBODY wants to get locked into something that isn't right.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    as long as every one knows the situation.

    And here lies the problem. :tongue: :laugh:

    Thing is, they don't need to know the details of "the situation". If you aren't exclusive with somebody, that means you are free to date as you see fit without reporting back. Most dudes (not all, certainly) who are 18-22 will happily agree to this type of arrangement, at least for a certain amount of time because NOBODY wants to get locked into something that isn't right.

    Agreed, however I got the impression from the OP that the boyfriend is under the assumption they are exclusive, which is all types of wrong.
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    You're 19. You are allowed to date more than one person at once, as long as every one knows the situation.
    Indeed!

    Also just be honest, lying is a very unattractive.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    In need of some serious advice. I'm stuck between two awesome guys. One of which I'm technically "dating" and the other whom I am like best friends with, but he likes me. Now, the guy I'm dating is 18 and a year younger than me. He's probably going to the marines in June. The other is 22, has a business degree, job, ans is probably going to major in neuroscience when he enrolls back into college. They are both athletic and love to lift, just as I do.

    I just dunno what to do. The 22 year old doesn't know I'm dating the other guy because he and I are just friends for now. I made that clear. But he said that if he knew I was dating someone, he'd have to move on, which I don't want. I see potential with this guy but I like my current boyfriend. UGH. Help.
    Being dishonest before marriage is not practice for honesty after marriage.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    as long as every one knows the situation.

    And here lies the problem. :tongue: :laugh:

    Thing is, they don't need to know the details of "the situation". If you aren't exclusive with somebody, that means you are free to date as you see fit without reporting back. Most dudes (not all, certainly) who are 18-22 will happily agree to this type of arrangement, at least for a certain amount of time because NOBODY wants to get locked into something that isn't right.

    Agreed, however I got the impression from the OP that the boyfriend is under the assumption they are exclusive, which is all types of wrong.

    They have been seeing each other for 1 months. It seems reasonable to assume that she could say to him "I really like you, but I am not ready to be exclusive" and his response will be "Oh, ok" and they'll both be free to date other people.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    In need of some serious advice. I'm stuck between two awesome guys. One of which I'm technically "dating" and the other whom I am like best friends with, but he likes me. Now, the guy I'm dating is 18 and a year younger than me. He's probably going to the marines in June. The other is 22, has a business degree, job, ans is probably going to major in neuroscience when he enrolls back into college. They are both athletic and love to lift, just as I do.

    I just dunno what to do. The 22 year old doesn't know I'm dating the other guy because he and I are just friends for now. I made that clear. But he said that if he knew I was dating someone, he'd have to move on, which I don't want. I see potential with this guy but I like my current boyfriend. UGH. Help.
    Being dishonest before marriage is not practice for honesty after marriage.

    Who in this situation is getting married?
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
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    Throw a coin.
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
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    3) Don't pull the kettlebell above armpit level while doing the swing. Posterior chain, not thoracic and shoulders.

    Best advice on the forum all day! :)
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    In need of some serious advice. I'm stuck between two awesome guys. One of which I'm technically "dating" and the other whom I am like best friends with, but he likes me. Now, the guy I'm dating is 18 and a year younger than me. He's probably going to the marines in June. The other is 22, has a business degree, job, ans is probably going to major in neuroscience when he enrolls back into college. They are both athletic and love to lift, just as I do.

    I just dunno what to do. The 22 year old doesn't know I'm dating the other guy because he and I are just friends for now. I made that clear. But he said that if he knew I was dating someone, he'd have to move on, which I don't want. I see potential with this guy but I like my current boyfriend. UGH. Help.
    Being dishonest before marriage is not practice for honesty after marriage.

    Who in this situation is getting married?
    I know right? Dating at 19, not creating a 75 yr plan lol
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    In need of some serious advice. I'm stuck between two awesome guys. One of which I'm technically "dating" and the other whom I am like best friends with, but he likes me. Now, the guy I'm dating is 18 and a year younger than me. He's probably going to the marines in June. The other is 22, has a business degree, job, ans is probably going to major in neuroscience when he enrolls back into college. They are both athletic and love to lift, just as I do.

    I just dunno what to do. The 22 year old doesn't know I'm dating the other guy because he and I are just friends for now. I made that clear. But he said that if he knew I was dating someone, he'd have to move on, which I don't want. I see potential with this guy but I like my current boyfriend. UGH. Help.
    So, what is your goal for your relationship?
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
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    QFT at 19 I had 3 guys I was dating, they all new of each other and were free to walk if they didn't like the situation. They were also free to date others. This it the age to find out what you want not to settle for what you have!
    Well, I'd been married for 2 years, but I've also been exceedingly lucky and nobody should do things the way we did it and expect success.

    The problem is, she probably has already had some kind of exclusivity arrangement with this guy, so that's why I say she needs to sit down with him and back out of that now before it's too late. If he's not down with that, he'll probably walk. That seems reasonable too. It's really crappy to try to control these guys and hold them back from finding what will make them happy by keeping them in the dark though. It's selfish and immature.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    It seems reasonable to assume that she could say to him "I really like you, but I am not ready to be exclusive" and his response will be "Oh, ok" and they'll both be free to date other people.

    Agreed. You don't have to say "I'm dating both you AND George, Friday nights with George, Saturdays are you."
  • _KitKat_
    _KitKat_ Posts: 1,066 Member
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    Neither, because you have not been honest with either one of them. Not a good way to start a relationship....sorry:flowerforyou:
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
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    The oldest person in this situation is still just barely an adult. You're not "stuck between two guys". You're having a high school drama llama party over two potentialities, neither of which is even in the beginning stages of coming to fruition. All three of you are going to grow and change and have immense demands placed upon you by the next few years of maturation. Especially the guy in the military and the guy going to med school. I advise, like everyone else here, that you be honest with everybody involved, and learn who you are and what you really want. Continuing to pursue your own goals and dreams, through your continuing education, and your fitness journey is one of the best ways to accomplish that.
  • Jimaudit
    Jimaudit Posts: 275
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    Neither, because you have not been honest with either one of them. Not a good way to start a relationship....sorry:flowerforyou:

    And here I was trying to think of a politically correct phrase for skank.
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
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    QFT at 19 I had 3 guys I was dating, they all new of each other and were free to walk if they didn't like the situation. They were also free to date others. This it the age to find out what you want not to settle for what you have!
    Well, I'd been married for 2 years, but I've also been exceedingly lucky and nobody should do things the way we did it and expect success.

    The problem is, she probably has already had some kind of exclusivity arrangement with this guy, so that's why I say she needs to sit down with him and back out of that now before it's too late. If he's not down with that, he'll probably walk. That seems reasonable too. It's really crappy to try to control these guys and hold them back from finding what will make them happy by keeping them in the dark though. It's selfish and immature.
    Agreed
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Rats. I was hoping for a sandwich pic. :sad:

    sandwich-o.gif

    :flowerforyou:
  • F00LofaT00K
    F00LofaT00K Posts: 688 Member
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    I think if it is that difficult for you to decide than you aren't as interested as you think you are in EITHER guy. If you truly, truly, ultra-super want to be with somebody, there will be no question about it. That's just my opinion. I can't really give you any advice you want to hear... because I think you should say goodbye to both of them and spend some time figuring out exactly what it is you want from a partner.

    ETA: And always be honest with them. You say you are "technically dating" your "boyfriend." Which is it? Is he your boyfriend... or are you just going on dates here and there. If your best friend is only your best friend, why can't he know about this? If you dating somebody is enough to make him go away forever, then he's not much of a friend. He's interested in you and just waiting for you to feel the same about him. That's not friendship.

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