In need of advice: Stuck between 2 guys? Help...

Some day you'll be on here cause you're stuck with one guy. Enjoy your dilemma.

as long as every one knows the situation.

And here lies the problem. :laugh:

Thing is, they don't need to know the details of "the situation". If you aren't exclusive with somebody, that means you are free to date as you see fit without reporting back. Most dudes (not all, certainly) who are 18-22 will happily agree to this type of arrangement, at least for a certain amount of time because NOBODY wants to get locked into something that isn't right.

Agreed, however I got the impression from the OP that the boyfriend is under the assumption they are exclusive, which is all types of wrong.

In need of some serious advice. I'm stuck between two awesome guys. One of which I'm technically "dating" and the other whom I am like best friends with, but he likes me. Now, the guy I'm dating is 18 and a year younger than me. He's probably going to the marines in June. The other is 22, has a business degree, job, ans is probably going to major in neuroscience when he enrolls back into college. They are both athletic and love to lift, just as I do.

I just dunno what to do. The 22 year old doesn't know I'm dating the other guy because he and I are just friends for now. I made that clear. But he said that if he knew I was dating someone, he'd have to move on, which I don't want. I see potential with this guy but I like my current boyfriend. UGH. Help.

Being dishonest before marriage is not practice for honesty after marriage.

In need of some serious advice. I'm stuck between two awesome guys. One of which I'm technically "dating" and the other whom I am like best friends with, but he likes me. Now, the guy I'm dating is 18 and a year younger than me. He's probably going to the marines in June. The other is 22, has a business degree, job, ans is probably going to major in neuroscience when he enrolls back into college. They are both athletic and love to lift, just as I do.

I just dunno what to do. The 22 year old doesn't know I'm dating the other guy because he and I are just friends for now. I made that clear. But he said that if he knew I was dating someone, he'd have to move on, which I don't want. I see potential with this guy but I like my current boyfriend. UGH. Help.

Being dishonest before marriage is not practice for honesty after marriage.

Who in this situation is getting married?

3) Don't pull the kettlebell above armpit level while doing the swing. Posterior chain, not thoracic and shoulders.

Best advice on the forum all day!

In need of some serious advice. I'm stuck between two awesome guys. One of which I'm technically "dating" and the other whom I am like best friends with, but he likes me. Now, the guy I'm dating is 18 and a year younger than me. He's probably going to the marines in June. The other is 22, has a business degree, job, ans is probably going to major in neuroscience when he enrolls back into college. They are both athletic and love to lift, just as I do.

I just dunno what to do. The 22 year old doesn't know I'm dating the other guy because he and I are just friends for now. I made that clear. But he said that if he knew I was dating someone, he'd have to move on, which I don't want. I see potential with this guy but I like my current boyfriend. UGH. Help.

So, what is your goal for your relationship?

It seems reasonable to assume that she could say to him "I really like you, but I am not ready to be exclusive" and his response will be "Oh, ok" and they'll both be free to date other people.

Agreed. You don't have to say "I'm dating both you AND George, Friday nights with George, Saturdays are you."

The oldest person in this situation is still just barely an adult. You're not "stuck between two guys". You're having a high school drama llama party over two potentialities, neither of which is even in the beginning stages of coming to fruition. All three of you are going to grow and change and have immense demands placed upon you by the next few years of maturation. Especially the guy in the military and the guy going to med school. I advise, like everyone else here, that you be honest with everybody involved, and learn who you are and what you really want. Continuing to pursue your own goals and dreams, through your continuing education, and your fitness journey is one of the best ways to accomplish that.

QFT at 19 I had 3 guys I was dating, they all new of each other and were free to walk if they didn't like the situation. They were also free to date others. This it the age to find out what you want not to settle for what you have!

Well, I'd been married for 2 years, but I've also been exceedingly lucky and nobody should do things the way we did it and expect success.

The problem is, she probably has already had some kind of exclusivity arrangement with this guy, so that's why I say she needs to sit down with him and back out of that now before it's too late. If he's not down with that, he'll probably walk. That seems reasonable too. It's really crappy to try to control these guys and hold them back from finding what will make them happy by keeping them in the dark though. It's selfish and immature.

Agreed

I think if it is that difficult for you to decide than you aren't as interested as you think you are in EITHER guy. If you truly, truly, ultra-super want to be with somebody, there will be no question about it. That's just my opinion. I can't really give you any advice you want to hear... because I think you should say goodbye to both of them and spend some time figuring out exactly what it is you want from a partner.

ETA: And always be honest with them. You say you are "technically dating" your "boyfriend." Which is it? Is he your boyfriend... or are you just going on dates here and there. If your best friend is only your best friend, why can't he know about this? If you dating somebody is enough to make him go away forever, then he's not much of a friend. He's interested in you and just waiting for you to feel the same about him. That's not friendship.

QFT at 19 I had 3 guys I was dating, they all new of each other and were free to walk if they didn't like the situation. They were also free to date others. This it the age to find out what you want not to settle for what you have!

Well, I'd been married for 2 years, but I've also been exceedingly lucky and nobody should do things the way we did it and expect success.

Also wanted to add that I married someone who was in the armed forces too, and it is not at all easy, like ILiftHeavyAcrylics said. They have a saying, "If the navy wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one with your seabag." And that is pretty much true. The kindest thing you can probably do is cut the ties now, before he goes to boot camp, so that he is free and so are you while you are going to be physically separated anyway. You can always go on dates with him if he comes back on leave or whatever. Maybe you were meant to be together, in which case, you'll meet up after his time in the service is done and you have finished your education and/or established yourself in a career. You should focus on making yourself someone who is worth building a life together with, and I'm sorry, but nobody is really a complete enough person at 19 to be that. Meanwhile, your free time outside of those obligations can be spent with a variety of people, keeping it light and learning what is important for *you* in a relationship. Then you can find the person that meets those qualifications, for whom you meet their qualifications, and then you can form a team that will be unbeatable!

Don't do it the way I did it and put the cart before the horse. Don't form your team and then lock yourself into a life course that forces you to make all of your choices based on being beholden to this team. It's just not smart. I cannot overemphasize enough that my life should be a disaster based on my choices, and I want you to avoid that near-certain risk.

Oh, the problems of 19 year olds . . . when you grow up this issue will seem like nothing, and my guess is that neither of these guys will be around by then.

Neither, because you have not been honest with either one of them. Not a good way to start a relationship....sorry:flowerforyou:

And here I was trying to think of a politically correct phrase for skank.

Liking two guys are 19 makes a girl a skank? Well, you are certainly charming.

Its not the "liking" of two guys, its the dishonesty. Before my husband I dated multiple guys at once, they always knew and if they didn't like it they could walk. The OP stated her "best friend" guy has no clue she is dating someone or else he would walk away, and the other she refers to as a boyfriend so she is implying they are exclusive. Being honest is the only way to do this, if they walk they have the right to.

Also skank was not my word for this, just think the op needs to reevaluate the situation and both of these relationships started on the wrong foot, they would make a great learning tool.

Neither, because you have not been honest with either one of them. Not a good way to start a relationship....sorry:flowerforyou:

And here I was trying to think of a politically correct phrase for skank.

Liking two guys are 19 makes a girl a skank? Well, you are certainly charming.

Its not the "liking" of two guys, its the dishonesty. Before my husband I dated multiple guys at once, they always knew and if they didn't like it they could walk. The OP stated her "best friend" guy has no clue she is dating someone or else he would walk away, and the other she refers to as a boyfriend so she is implying they are exclusive. Being honest is the only way to do this, if they walk they have the right to.

Also skank was not my word for this, just think the op needs to reevaluate the situation and both of these relationships started on the wrong foot, they would make a great learning tool.

Except somebody you are NOT dating and have said "I just to be friends" to doesn't get to make demands about what information you share with them. That he would even say that is kind of creepy and a warning sign, but it could also just be his way of tell her he's into her in "that way".

If she likes him, she should talk to the "boyfriend" and tell him she's not ready to be in an exclusive relationship with him. Because she's not. But she doesn't owe 22 year old details of her personal life if she's explicitly keeping things friendly with him. If he's not happy with friends, which is what she says she is clearly saying to him, he needs to move on on his own. She doesn't need to "set him free" he is free.

Well I was going to come in and congratulate you and ask why exactly you needed help but I'm leaving disappointed. I'll try to be helpful though - what's more important to you, money or benefits? Choose the dude accordingly.