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    Obese friend's Christmas gift.....stumped

    13

    Replies

    • Posts: 22,281 Member
      Maybe you should lend your friend your high horse for a while. Horse back riding is great exercise and I'm sure she will quickly learn how to point out your flaws to a bunch of people online.

      FTW...where have you BEEN all my MFP life?
    • Posts: 4,489 Member
      Wow. Online questioning is tricky and everyone now thinks ill of me. Yes, I do see her as obese. We have for years wanted to help her change. We all love this person, and she has major health issues goign on now. I hoped that the search results would show items to avoid, a new trend, or a novel gift idea.. Something to light up her day, something really novel. I did find LED lights for the sink. Novel, but not a gift. I guess I bow out of this as I am not good at communicating as can be evidenced by how bad I botched this thread up.

      I'm sure she appreciates being treated like a pitiful leper (obese pitiful leper, sorry) that can't enjoy things that us skinnier folks like. If they had a store for just obese people I'd say you and the girls blindfold her and surprise her with an all-day shopping spree. Or find an indoor waterpark. Fat people love those.
    • Posts: 22,281 Member
      Wow. Online questioning is tricky and everyone now thinks ill of me. Yes, I do see her as obese. We have for years wanted to help her change. We all love this person, and she has major health issues goign on now. I hoped that the search results would show items to avoid, a new trend, or a novel gift idea.. Something to light up her day, something really novel. I did find LED lights for the sink. Novel, but not a gift. I guess I bow out of this as I am not good at communicating as can be evidenced by how bad I botched this thread up.

      May I kindly suggest choosing your words carefully in her presence? Perhaps strike the word obese from your conversations in general. For about 2 years I had to tolerate my friend who would always offer me skinny cow ice cream sandwiches at her house. She finally stopped doing any of that nonsense and serves real food at all her shindigs. Ppl can change, be one of them.
    • Posts: 8,329 Member
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      I don't get it?

      i think it was pointing out that she was the skinniest person in high school
    • Posts: 5,214 Member
      show previous quotes

      i think it was pointing out that she was the skinniest person in high school


      The lols for me started at "Eating for Gold"
    • Posts: 34,971 Member
      Wow. Online questioning is tricky and everyone now thinks ill of me. Yes, I do see her as obese. We have for years wanted to help her change. We all love this person, and she has major health issues goign on now. I hoped that the search results would show items to avoid, a new trend, or a novel gift idea.. Something to light up her day, something really novel. I did find LED lights for the sink. Novel, but not a gift. I guess I bow out of this as I am not good at communicating as can be evidenced by how bad I botched this thread up.

      No, you didn't word the thread wrong. It's your perceptions and who you are that came blatantly out in the thread. There is a difference between knowing someone is obese and seeing them as obese. Maybe try regarding her as a person instead of a body condition.
    • Posts: 2,232 Member
      show previous quotes

      FTW...where have you BEEN all my MFP life?

      I've been busy stalking husbands :laugh:
    • Posts: 1,809 Member
      Wow. Online questioning is tricky and everyone now thinks ill of me. Yes, I do see her as obese. We have for years wanted to help her change. We all love this person, and she has major health issues goign on now. I hoped that the search results would show items to avoid, a new trend, or a novel gift idea.. Something to light up her day, something really novel. I did find LED lights for the sink. Novel, but not a gift. I guess I bow out of this as I am not good at communicating as can be evidenced by how bad I botched this thread up.

      Oh, aren't you just precious. Something to light up her day???? Hmm.....How about a lamp?
    • Posts: 446 Member
      That's what I mean! I don't offer her any food suggestions, one way or the other. I don't offer her any exercise advice, one way or the other. Yes, I have hoped for years that she could take more control of the weight issue.

      What we talk about for the past 20 years is men, relationships, family, movies, kids, news, work, crazy bosses, and general gossip. In the past four months, we've been talking about her health issues & doctors visits, insurance changes (she isn't going to qualify for band-type procedures due to insurance changes). It has been all-consuming past few months for her becuase of the seriousness of her medical situation. It has to be her to decide to make any change. Not me. Therefore, I strictly don't approach the subject. Yes, perhaps I do say the wrong word or have the wrong gesture/look/unconscious expression. I'm sure she makes some jokes about me too. I'm the abscent minded and can't get through life without a "to do" list to keep me on track.
    • Posts: 22,281 Member
      show previous quotes

      i think it was pointing out that she was the skinniest person in high school

      this gives me an idea. to revamp my FL. so i can be the skinniest one on it. that's SOMETHING right? i never knew being the skinniest anything anywhere was a thing. BRB, delete mode ACTIVATED!
    • Posts: 22,281 Member
      That's what I mean! I don't offer her any food suggestions, one way or the other. I don't offer her any exercise advice, one way or the other. Yes, I have hoped for years that she could take more control of the weight issue.

      What we talk about for the past 20 years is men, relationships, family, movies, kids, news, work, crazy bosses, and general gossip. In the past four months, we've been talking about her health issues & doctors visits, insurance changes (she isn't going to qualify for band-type procedures due to insurance changes). It has been all-consuming past few months for her becuase of the seriousness of her medical situation. It has to be her to decide to make any change. Not me. Therefore, I strictly don't approach the subject. Yes, perhaps I do say the wrong word or have the wrong gesture/look/unconscious expression. I'm sure she makes some jokes about me too. I'm the abscent minded and can't get through life without a "to do" list to keep me on track.

      i am just getting sadder thinking of my friend waiting those two years for me to get off my duff and do something about my "problem" meanwhile if we'd been open enough to hash it out she might understand my reasons for waiting. as they are 1,000% legit. Is it in any way possible you could give your friend credit for handling her own life and you just be in charge of being a nice person to chat with and shoot the breezes? If not if it were my friend I would kindly ask her to leave my life and lose my number. I hope she's not thinking these things and will keep my relationship with her but I'd be lying if I said I won't be wondering now how many hours it took her to choose my gift.
    • Posts: 5,537 Member
      I think your friendship is the most precious gift there is! She is such a lucky large lady!:flowerforyou:
    • Posts: 1,741 Member
      this thread is making me think if somewhere my white friends are posting messages on a forum asking what to buy their black friend because they want to avoid any skin care stuff that might have SPF in it in case it reminds me that i'm black :grumble:

      This thread is pure gold.:laugh:
    • Posts: 446 Member
      I was very skinny, but not in a good way. I thougth about it, and I think I'll just ask to take her out. There's a live theater with a good show playing, and a trendy new watering hole. Time and relationships are what Christmas is about. It hurts that you all continue to misread who I am, but you have made me question my own motives, thoughts, and feelings about my friend and how I look at her. And, for that there is good. Merry Christmas (or Happy Everything) to all of you.
    • Posts: 709 Member
      I hear they make a great perfume for obese people. A cute purse, for obese people, would be great too!
    • Posts: 5,537 Member
      I was very skinny, but not in a good way. Thanks so much for all your ideas. I thougth about it, and I think I'll just ask to take her out. There's a live theater with a good show playing, and a trendy new watering hole. Time and relationships are what Christmas is about.

      Call ahead and ask if they allow obese people. To avoid awkwardness at the door in case they don't.
    • Posts: 2,403 Member
      show previous quotes

      this gives me an idea. to revamp my FL. so i can be the skinniest one on it. that's SOMETHING right? i never knew being the skinniest anything anywhere was a thing. BRB, delete mode ACTIVATED!

      A very wise person once said, "If you want to be thinner, hang out with people who are heavier than you."

      At least I think it was a person. It may have been Garfield.
    • Posts: 446 Member
      I was very skinny, but not in a good way. I thougth about it, and I think I'll just ask to take her out. There's a live theater with a good show playing, and a trendy new watering hole. Time and relationships are what Christmas is about. It hurts that you all continue to misread who I am, but you have made me question my own motives, thoughts, and feelings about my friend and how I look at her. And, for that there is good. Merry Christmas (or Happy Everything) to all of you.
    • Posts: 709 Member
      Do they make plants or flowers for obese people? A nice poinsettia is always a good choice.
    • Posts: 7,512 Member
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      i just saw it.

      i didnt want to be greedy, but as long as we're going high end, i'd gladly take a chanel bag AND a trip to paris for being the black AND obese friend :laugh:

      damn now I wish I was black and obese all I get is a g-d damn on sale coach bag!!
    • Posts: 446 Member
      Ok, I see the error in my thinking.

      Sorry to offend. Sorry for my question. Sorry you are offended. And, thank for helping me see a different side of the coin.
    • Posts: 34,971 Member
      Do they make plants or flowers for obese people? A nice poinsettia is always a good choice.

      Are they the same for skinny people? Especially ones that make Paris Hilton look fat?
    • Posts: 7,512 Member
      show previous quotes

      Are they the same for skinny people? Especially ones that make Paris Hilton look fat?

      eu de Mcrib or toilette water twinkie that's more of a gourmand fragrance while the McRib is oriental and spicy
    • Posts: 8,927 Member
      And somewhere on a message board a woman is asking, "What gift should I get for the formerly skinny lady that thinks she's my friend?"
    • Posts: 1,709 Member
      I don't really understand why you are stumped and what her weight has to do with anything. If she is your friend, then you must know her interests (which I am sure go beyond food and weight). How about you buy her something that she would enjoy?

      This...
    • Posts: 1,535 Member
      I was very skinny, but not in a good way. I thougth about it, and I think I'll just ask to take her out. There's a live theater with a good show playing, and a trendy new watering hole. Time and relationships are what Christmas is about. It hurts that you all continue to misread who I am, but you have made me question my own motives, thoughts, and feelings about my friend and how I look at her. And, for that there is good. Merry Christmas (or Happy Everything) to all of you.

      Please as part of your gift, pay for her sitter....you said she's a single Mom. Night outs are expensive for those who have to hire sitter or even a hassle to look for one. Have that be part of your gift along with the play. And more important, make sure this is a play *she* would enjoy. :flowerforyou: If it gets to be too much, my GF and I always get together & go get Pedi's for our birthdays (we don't exchange at Christmas, budgeting gets to be so silly).
    • Posts: 540 Member
      God forbid she decide to do something about her weight, find this website, and see this thread...
    • Posts: 3,436 Member
      show previous quotes


      Omg...Have you seen OP's profile? :laugh:

      ETA: And OP, I hope you aren't teaching your son to discriminate and label people like you are doing.

      Whoa! Why did we go after her parenting skills and child. A bit uncalled for.
    • Posts: 10,913 Member
      God forbid she decide to do something about her weight, find this website, and see this thread...
      Right?
    • Posts: 465 Member
      I'm not convinced she understands why her thinking is ****ed up. She's just sorry the words came out wrong. There is no back pedaling. Anything she continues to say will make it worse, dig her in a deeper hole. I'd feel pretty crappy knowing my friend of twenty years feels the need to point out that I'm obese and that makes a difference in what she does for me.


      Seriously, there's no fixing f*ucked up thinking.
    This discussion has been closed.

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