Weightloss causing Relationship issues?

Options
123457»

Replies

  • jlturner386
    jlturner386 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    I don't get why someone would slag their spouse in public like this.

    Because you guys don't know him and won't hold it against at family/social gatherings!!!

    I have no one to vent to, because if i do (and I have lots in the past) then even if we find a solution they didn't go thru the process with us, and they will or could have negative feelings towards him and I DON"T WANT THAT!

    I still need to vent and an outlet of my frustrations. Believe it or not I was wondering if OTHER people had the same issues and what they did you fix them......I did not need people to tell me he's a jerk
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    Options
    I don't get why someone would slag their spouse in public like this.

    Because you guys don't know him and won't hold it against at family/social gatherings!!!
    You provided your picture and your location and private life details - I guarantee somebody here or at google has already figured out who he is.
    I did not need people to tell me he's a jerk
    You slagged him yourself - what else could you expect?
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    Options
    Because not everyone was lucky enough to fall in love with a perfect person and live happily ever after in a perfect relationship. I know that some people are in relationships where there is open, healthy, respectful communication and spouses do everything they can to help the other and provide support. That is what everyone would like to have and is working towards, I imagine.

    There are others who are in relationships with people who are immature, selfish, from dysfunctional families of origin, and who have no idea how to honor and support their spouse. There are people who are in emotionally abusive relationships who would like to work on those relationships and build a strong family for their children.

    It is far more noble to put problems out there anonymously than to slag your spouse to your own family and friends, who then will have to interact with them in the future.

    Sometimes, all of your family and friends are in a "happily ever after" relationship, and it makes you feel even sh*ttier that you're not. Sometimes, other people have experienced the same thing and may have constructive ideas to help solve the problem.

    I feel a little disgusted by all the married people who dishonor their spouse by posting in the "bang, blow or beat-off to" posts, but I don't feel the need to post my dismay again and again when they aren't asking for my feedback.

    We get it -- you don't agree with the OP's original posting. You've probably not been in her shoes and don't have anything constructive to say. Geez! Find another thread to follow, today, will ya?
  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,181 Member
    Options
    So my husband and I started this journey together back in February. I was about 6 weeks post partum. We got on a meal delivery service and everything. We both had success I lost 24 lbs by May and he has lost about 40......I was only about 18 lbs from my goal weight, and I had medical issues which stalled my weightloss. I was unable to do some of the exercises I loved to do. Then I found out I had to have laprascopic surgery and would be down for up to 6 weeks. before my 6 weeks was up, I was laid off, and I became a stay at home mom with a 6 month old and a 5 year old who wouldn't start school til August (there went any time for myself). I started an online shop where I sell handmade baby quilts and blankets and would spend my extra time on that. (never really got the extra time til my daughter started school, then it was only nap time at my house) I went back to work at the end of October and now I am just struggling to find time to balance family, work, my store, girl scouts (i'm the leader) and my health....unfortunately my weight is my backburner, and I never get a moment to exercise. I am so out of shape, and to make matters worse, my husband is now 60 lbs down, and he looks down on me and my weight gain.....I am up almost 20 lbs :( I wake up at 4:30 every morning to be at work by 6....don't get home most evenings til 6 or 7pm with kids in tow.....this leaves no time for anything whatsoever.......and I am jealous that my husband just goes to the gym 4 nights a week at 8 pm the second the kids heads hit the pillow....and because I have to be up so early for my job I can never do that......he doesn't go to work til 7 or 7:30 doesn't get home til 5:30 or 6 and if i don't cook dinner we eat out, which is fine, but eating out and not working out causes weight gain.....i would continue to lose weight too if i ate out and spent 8 hours in the gym a week......How do I get out of this rut, I want to be supportive of my husband I am very proud of him, but I can't take it sometimes!

    I am finding it hard to have sympothy for you.
    Your husband comes home by 5? Then by 5:30 you need to be at the gym.. Take turns if nessary.
    Have dinner ready by 5pm and tell him to cook it/heat it up.
    Put the TV on for an hour for the kids and go and do exercise.
    Take the kids out for a walk for an hour or two.
    Find 15min every hour and to Level 1 drills/Level 2 Drill ( Insanity)
  • jlturner386
    jlturner386 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    Because not everyone was lucky enough to fall in love with a perfect person and live happily ever after in a perfect relationship. I know that some people are in relationships where there is open, healthy, respectful communication and spouses do everything they can to help the other and provide support. That is what everyone would like to have and is working towards, I imagine.

    There are others who are in relationships with people who are immature, selfish, from dysfunctional families of origin, and who have no idea how to honor and support their spouse. There are people who are in emotionally abusive relationships who would like to work on those relationships and build a strong family for their children.

    It is far more noble to put problems out there anonymously than to slag your spouse to your own family and friends, who then will have to interact with them in the future.

    Sometimes, all of your family and friends are in a "happily ever after" relationship, and it makes you feel even sh*ttier that you're not. Sometimes, other people have experienced the same thing and may have constructive ideas to help solve the problem.

    I feel a little disgusted by all the married people who dishonor their spouse by posting in the "bang, blow or beat-off to" posts, but I don't feel the need to post my dismay again and again when they aren't asking for my feedback.

    We get it -- you don't agree with the OP's original posting. You've probably not been in her shoes and don't have anything constructive to say. Geez! Find another thread to follow, today, will ya?

    Thank you :)
  • jlturner386
    jlturner386 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    I don't get why someone would slag their spouse in public like this.

    Because you guys don't know him and won't hold it against at family/social gatherings!!!
    You provided your picture and your location and private life details - I guarantee somebody here or at google has already figured out who he is.
    I did not need people to tell me he's a jerk
    You slagged him yourself - what else could you expect?

    If someone cares enough to do the work......I feel really sorry for them. LOL
    BUT you know what the best part is.....I haven't said a single thing on here, that I haven't said to him about 50 times. I almost hope he sees it....because he will see that I am completely and udderly fed up. And maybe reading it will make a lightbulb go off.....it took my daughter asking me to "Breakup with daddy" in front of him to start speaking to her nicer, and not yell and cuss at her as much......She is only 5 but her bestfriends parents divorced and its really sad when your daughter thinks you are so negative and grumpy that she would rather see you on the weekends, because that's what her friends daughter went thru.
  • 40andFindingFitness
    40andFindingFitness Posts: 497 Member
    Options
    A friend of mine has lost over 50 pounds without ever stepping foot in a gym. Don't let that be your reason to be upset with your husband. Figure out a good home workout for you that fits your schedule (somehow) and start just one day at a time. You can do it just ignore the other noise in your head that's telling you that you don't have time. Sounds like you have 1 hour in between sleeping and working (which seems unnatural in itself) and make it count. Good luck!
  • jlturner386
    jlturner386 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    Sounds like you have 1 hour in between sleeping and working (which seems unnatural in itself) and make it count. Good luck!

    I have a 45 minute drive into work. I agree with you though when he is gone to the gym I will do my dance game. I burn about 500-600 cals/hr doing that. I'm going to make changes to my diet as well. My major problem is I forget to eat til I'm starving....but the last few days I have brought meals and set a timer for 3.5 hours as a reminder to eat.
  • MrsCassizzleSparkles
    MrsCassizzleSparkles Posts: 51
    Options
    It sounds like you have relationship issues, whether or not they are caused by resentment from weightloss is not something that any of us can tell you. If you want to be a healthier you, then focus on that. Make the best food choices that you can. I read that you started counselling, which is fantastic, so I hope that it will help you become a happier you as well. It sounds like you work incredibly hard for your family so you need to set aside some time to do things for yourself. If you want to spend that time getting in shape, then when the kids are in bed and he walks out the door for the gym, start playing those games you like or try out a one of the many 30 minute workouts that are out there. The 30 day shred is a good place to start. ((hugs))
    Sometimes when we become moms, we forget about putting ourselves first and spend all of our time focused on someone else. I think you need to spend some time focusing on what you want.
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,206 Member
    Options
    Buy yourself some 5lbs doubles, a 8lb medicine ball for sit ups, and download a workout DVD to get you started at home in your spare time. However if you eat at 1200cals a day without working out you will loose weight as well it will just be much slower

Categories