Mom's advice to son... Seriously?

Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

i never understand why women embrace this concept when it seems inherently sexist. A man is fully capable of giving consent while inebriated but a woman is not? or some times is, sometimes isn't?

I mean, if a someone is so f-ed up they can barely walk or talk, your not really in a position to concent, but most of the time that doesn't seem to be the kind of state of drunkeness most people are talking about when they refer to this issue.

I happen to enjoy consensual drunk sex...

But yes, the concept of "consent" when drunk I guess is hard to define, but no all of the blame and responsibility should no reside only with the man. Again it comes back to realizing that women are people and men are people. Men are NOT evil sex-driven beasts. Women are not stupid, slutty objects to be used only for sex. PEOPLE should be taught not to reach the point of intoxication where they can not make at least half way responsible decisions. They should be taught to respect other PEOPLE.

Legally speaking ... this is dumb ...

Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

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My point is not that the male should always be the one in control of or responsible for everything. It's that getting a text message from a girl (or guy, for that matter) saying that she/he consents to sex does not necessarily prove consent or protect from rape charges after the fact. I just think this article proposes a ridiculous "fail-safe" that is not at all logical or even sane.

I do think that girls should know how to take care of themselves and not get so drunk that they can't give or deny consent. But with all of today's date-rape drugs, etc, unfortunately it's not always as simple as that. (Again, that goes for men or women giving consent). As much as I don't think men should sleep with obviously intoxicated women, I don't think that women should sleep with obviously intoxicated men. There should be more of a discussion between parents and their children other than "be sure to get consent via text for proof."

*edited to try to fix the quote blocks... fail...
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To be fair...nothing is going immunize you from rape charges if someone decides to allege that sex (consensual or not) was rape. All you can do in that situation is hope that the credibility of the parties reflects the truth of the matter and justice is ultimately served. The idea behind the mom's suggestion is absolutely understandable given the sexual climate of college.

My advice to my sons:
"Know someone well before you bump uglies."
and
"If you get arrested, use your one phone call to let me know where you'll be staying."

I'm mean like that.

My advice to my sons:
"Know someone well before you bump uglies."
and
"If you get arrested, use your one phone call to let me know where you'll be staying."

I'm mean like that.

My dear old mum used to tell me if I ever got in trouble with the police I'd be begging to be taken to jail by the time she was through with me!

Oh gawd, so much of that woman's opinion is just infuriating.

"Parents need to step up. I'm doing my part, raising a son to respect women and himself ......... If she's falling down drunk, stay away, far away."

Surely part of respecting women would be if a girl is falling down drunk, he (and others) HELP her by making sure she gets home safe.

When I have been in the company of guys from the USA (and as it happens, falling down drunk) I have always found them to be AWESOME. They made sure I got home safe when I was somewhere unfamiliar.

Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

i never understand why women embrace this concept when it seems inherently sexist. A man is fully capable of giving consent while inebriated but a woman is not? or some times is, sometimes isn't?

I mean, if a someone is so f-ed up they can barely walk or talk, your not really in a position to concent, but most of the time that doesn't seem to be the kind of state of drunkeness most people are talking about when they refer to this issue.

Because a woman who is mildly intoxicated and knows what she is consenting to can then have the day after regret. Even though she consented she can turn around and say it wasn't consensual, that she was intoxicated and he raped her. It then becomes a "he said she said" situation and who do you think they're going to believe?

Him, of course. The media isn't subtle about their bias, neither is law enforcement, most campus officials, or public opinion.

Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

i never understand why women embrace this concept when it seems inherently sexist. A man is fully capable of giving consent while inebriated but a woman is not? or some times is, sometimes isn't?

I mean, if a someone is so f-ed up they can barely walk or talk, your not really in a position to concent, but most of the time that doesn't seem to be the kind of state of drunkeness most people are talking about when they refer to this issue.

Because a woman who is mildly intoxicated and knows what she is consenting to can then have the day after regret. Even though she consented she can turn around and say it wasn't consensual, that she was intoxicated and he raped her. It then becomes a "he said she said" situation and who do you think they're going to believe?

Him, of course. The media isn't subtle about their bias, neither is law enforcement, most campus officials, or public opinion.

That was my point.

Quickly read through parts of the OP, and from what I can tell the Mother is giving her Son quality advice basically she is telling him to find a decent/respectable girl instead of smashing dirty sloots at the club, not sure why this would offend you that is smart advice.

Sloots gonna sloot.

Why is a dirty sloot considered a dumb girl? So what if someone has multiple of sex partners? The amount of sexual partners a person has is not equal to their intelligence.

Not what the mother was telling him at all, actually. Basically she told him if he was going to hook up with a drinking/drunk girl, to get consent via text first so that he can't be charged with rape later. Read the article first - nothing to do with "sloots" or "respectable girls."

Ahh okay didn't read that far ahead, disregard my post then (:

Umm... how about just teaching your son to not sleep with intoxicated girls? And not referring to girls who drink in college as "stupid girls?"

but what if the son is also intoxicated ? why is there more of a onus on him to be more in control when he's intoxicated and know to not have sex with an intoxicated girl than it is for an intoxicated girl to know to not have sex if she's intoxicated?

Women can't handle alcohol.........FACT. When Men drink they can read minds, but cannot predict the future

Haha you haven't met my college roommate from Ireland, apparently! :laugh:

Quickly read through parts of the OP, and from what I can tell the Mother is giving her Son quality advice basically she is telling him to find a decent/respectable girl instead of smashing dirty sloots at the club, not sure why this would offend you that is smart advice.

Sloots gonna sloot.

Sloot shaming offends me.