What causes failure?

Until I could get right in my head about the emotional reasons I was eating, there was no way I could lose weight. For me, it was never about the discipline or eating the "right" foods or whatever the reason was that I thought I was failing at in my journey to lose weight. I was so disciplined in every area of my life, why couldn't I make this work?

Turning to food for comfort was how I dealt with my demons. My demons were being a perfectionist, feelings of not being worthy of love, not loving myself. I had to go ALL the way back and figure it out. I am still about 40 pounds out but let me say this. I have gained self love, confidence and appreciation for the fact that I am worthy of everything this life is about.

I am going to be 50 in 2014. I know with an absolute certainty that my weight will be gone by then. This is all fine and good but the best part is that my "head space" where food for comfort is concerned is right where it belongs for the next 50 years....out the door and viewed as a demon of the past.


****edited for clarity****

Way to go on figuring our the root of the problem. Congrats on the success you've already have had and on your future success.

Thank you and WOW congrats to YOU!

maintaining is hard because youre still restricting calories but for no improvements like weight loss so the motivation to maintain fades as you get used to how your body looks or you care less and less as the days go on untill you gain too much and care enough again to diet

This too. Plus I realized being thin doesn't fix my life by making me superhuman. It's a letdown. Next experiment: Getting rich quick. Maybe that will work.

agree

It took me a few years to really understand that sustained success really did mean a lifestyle change. I used to get to the weekends and "go off" my diet. I did the same whenever I traveled, once I reached my original goal, and in the time between thanksgiving and christmas. It was only after I saw the weight creep back on that I realized that 3-5 days a week of eating well was not enough and I needed to figure out a way to eat and incorporate more flexibility so I never felt the need to "go off" my plan. Now my plan involves chocolate every day, low-impact exercise no matter where I am, and it doesn't feel hard anymore. This mental shift has played a big role in my continued maintenance. But, it took nearly two years to get there.

Over the past 40 years I have had two periods of my life when I have been overweight, both these periods lasted for approximately 5 years. No great secret how I put the weight on, ate too much and no exercise. Likewise no great secret how I lost the weight, ate less plus exercises. The real battle is the constant grind of maintenance. The only way I succeed is by setting goals i.e. run marathon, as I succeed with one goal I set another and so on. So far so good 2years on maintenance this time.

For me, it is all about sustainability.

I gained a lot of weight (70 lbs). I lost a lot of weight (45 lbs). I gained some back (15lbs). I've kept the rest (30lbs) off for six years. That leaves me at 150lbs at 5'9.

I can maintain at 150 without counting calories, as long as my diet is decent (plenty of fruits and vegetables, protein, limited junk food and desserts). I can't maintain at 135-140 without counting calories. I fall into disordered eating easily when I'm counting calories, which isn't healthy, so if I can maintain at 150 without counting, I'm healthier as a whole person than if I maintain by counting calories at 135-140. Add in a long series of injuries, and it's really hard to heal right when you're limiting calories.

Now I'm back because my doctors want me to track my sodium and protein intake, and MFP is an incredibly easy way to do that.

I don't consider my partial weight regain as a failure. At 5'9 and 150 lbs, I'm a dress size 8-10. I would like to be a few pounds lighter, but I'm happy enough where I am. I wouldn't be happy if I regained all of it.

I think that if you look at it as a lifestyle change, you'll be fine.

I figured out what worked for me, and slowly transitioned out of calorie counting while monitoring my weight. I ate the same foods I did while calorie counting, and at first I still wrote them down, but without the calories. Eventually I stopped food journaling completely. The transition took about a year and a half. What I ate and the amounts didn't change much. I substitute foods here and there, but I check calorie count. If I'm replacing an about 500 calorie meal, I either replace with another 500 cal meal or add or subtract from other meals. I don't consider it strict calorie counting, but it sort of is.

Bump. This is definitely something I want to read through later, thanks!

I lost a ton of weight and maintained that loss for FOUR YEARS. They say if you get to the 5-year mark of maintaining your loss, it's a permanent lifestyle change. I never made it to the 5-year mark. I let old eating habits come in. I rationalized too much that I could have this or that, because I was at my goal weight. Every week that I wanted to get back on track was pushed to the next week. And then, THE BIGGEST PREDICTOR of regaining was this:

I stopped weighing myself.

So, I'm back at it now. But I have to weigh myself daily or weekly. It's the only way to know. Otherwise, too easy to rationalize that your clothes don't realllly feel tighter, do they?

You have to fight for it every day. Every. Day.

I think it's about mindset. Some folks go about it thinking they will do whatever they have to in order to lose weight.... and they do, but it is not sustainable. A person can only hold on to a "Whatever it Takes" mentality for so long before reverting back. Making changes one can maintain as a longterm lifestyle is the ticket. I think it also can take many attempts before a person finds out what qualifies a longterm change for them personally.

Bump to read later

Freaking out over the small things cause failure.

I agree that maintaining weight loss is a paradigm shift. Replacing your old habits with new habits that help you maintain your weight. There are sometimes mitigating factors like illness and medications that make it more difficult. I have maintained a 25 pound weight loss for a year now. What has helped me is to become better informed. I have read books like MIndless Eating and Salt, Fat , and Sugar which is about how the big food rely on these substances to get us to buy more of their products. Are my diet and exercise habits perfect even with this knowledge? No. I do find knowing what causes food cravings and how there are factors out there that sabotage our best efforts useful.

Good luck in your own process of losing and maintaining weight. There are many of us trying to accomplish the same thing. Everyone has to find their own way and what works for them.

Merry Christmas.

Not being consistent

You know how Nike says "JUST DO IT" ?? For me it was just not doing it.

I had lost the 35+ pounds I wanted to. Had the body I liked after going to the gym, lifting weights, was strong (grrrrrrrrrr) walking everyday and even ran a mile. :laugh:

The week I logged my last pound I:
*told my husband I wanted a divorce
*had a stroke/TIA the same day, where they found a hole in my heart
*had heart surgery which took me off work for 4 wks
*Got back to work and the job I loved was eliminated
*Was blessed to be moved to a new job, same pay, but not one that I had wanted and with an expectation that was unreachable
*Went for a minor sx on my neck,an injection only really where they burn a nerve, so that I would be the 100% I wanted to be for my new job.
*This created daily migraine pain and visual disturbance no one could fix. The occipital nerve was over heated and that was 3 yrs ago, it is still not better
*got divorce after nearly 30 yrs
*My daughter moved out and to another city 3 hrs away
*Had severe abdominal pain, had a test and found a bad infection, the antibiotics made me sicker
*They found reflux with burns on my throat I didn't know about
*IBS severe and painful
THEN I found out by accident I have been severely depressed for the past 2 years

BUT............... the question is WHAT CAUSES FAILURE???


I stopped exercising.
I stopped watching what I eat.
I stopped logging my food.
I thought I 'had this'

The bottom line is, excuses. Yes I had reasons, for a day to day might not do it, but EXCUSES as to why I didn't keep going. I DO believe whole heartedly that most of the things to follow would have been much easier to handle, or not there at all, if I had continued to exercise and eat right.

This IS life change. Sounds like just words, but if you change the way you think it will be a life time. Now when I go out to dinner on a date I am not the least bit embarrassed " Grilled chicken/fish dry, steamed veggies, real butter on the side, huge salad with dressing on the side and no croutons. Rolls for my date only please" I have never had a funny look. Actually I think the guys like that I know what I want. Oh and I EAT my food too :laugh:

SO What causes failure? Not doing it.

I think the 5 year mark is an interesting idea. My step dad has lost and gained 50-80lbs multiple times. He usually maintains it for 3-4 years and then gains it back in a few months. He still exercises, he still eats healthy but his portions change.

I don't think it is all laziness. I think some part of it is you feel you have the knowledge of what you should do, you know that you can do it because you've been doing it for several years so it must be habit and maybe one day you are just sick of recording/weighing everything.

Really, most of us are here because we have had some kind of issue with food. Once you stop tracking, you are probably on your way to gaining back. If you didn't have an issue with food and you came here to decrease body fat but not change your weight or just watch your macros, you are probably fine with not tracking.