Things People Say When You've Lost Weight
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"lol yesterday someone asked me if I was doing it in a healthy way. I was a little insulted because I breastfeed my baby so why would I take pills and junk and risk her heath? People are stupid!"
I would have smiled and said "I'm taking meth" Like would anyone have said "no, I'm not"- LOL0 -
Lots of people assume I don't eat much because I've lost 10kg. When in fact I probably eat more than them and exercise my *kitten* off sometimes (no pun intended!). Those comments really bother me because I and many other put so much effort to lose weight the healthy way and in turn are deemed that were starving ourselves :mad:0
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"I'm going to pray for you"
yes some-one recently said that too me, after not seeing me for almost a year.0 -
On a more positive note, what exactly would we like to hear from friends, family and work colleagues that would encourage us to get rid of the last few pounds, or keep us going when we are weakening a bit, especially around ' the party season'?
We all need a bit of encouragement from time to time and I think a positive comment or 'well done' should be received gracefully and in the spirit it was meant. The less positive comments from people around us should not sway us from our path in any way.
Consider that there may be people nearby that would like to lose weight themselves, get fitter or would like a more active lifestyle and if they see you as a role model on your journey to a similar goal. If it is seen that you are sensitive about well meant comments than it may discourage them from taking the first step themselves
Be gracious, be positive and focus on your goals.
I see that a lot of the comments are from women about women, which is probably a reflection on the fact that in todays climate a man would probably be in a very bad position if he was to make a public comment about a woman's size or shape.0 -
Currently in a bulk cycle, so not quite on subject... However, I was getting out of the shower the other day and my Beautiful wife was close by. I smacked my a** and asked my wife "Do these squats make my butt look big?!"
She just laughed and shook her head at me... What the hell is that response supposed to mean?! :laugh: :blushing:0 -
For me I get like very mixed messages, like you look great but you dont' need to lose any more or do anything, and then like from my mom kind of like judgements when I have something "bad" to eat, I don't know, it annoys me that I work out more than anyone in the family, and am definitely the healthiest, but even after I've gone to the gym that day and had healthy meals if I have like a bite of something (like tonight there was some appetizers out, some mac and cheese and also some various cheeses with crackers, and I took a small piece of brie and put it on a spoonful of mac and cheese just like as a joke haha look at this combo and my mom was like well I guess we're going to the gym tomorrow) like it was 1 bite, maybe 100 calories max, obviously not healthy, but not going to make or break anything, and I didn't have other appetizers where my mom continued to eat cheese and crackers and other things which clearly amounted to more calories and fat and everything than my 1 weird bite.
So it's like hey you look great, doing great, and don't need to do anything, but oh don't have 1 bite off track0 -
I think that when people you know say things like that to you, it's because their perception of you is changed based on your changed appearance. It's hard to explain, but when people I've known a very long time dramatically change their appearance (in whatever way), it's kind of shocking. It's like they're not the same person anymore. But once you're around them for a while you realize "hey, it's the same ole' person, just in different packaging" and the shock wears off. Until the shock wears off, you may just have to keep dealing with the comments.
Then there's also jealousy....I was at a Weight Watchers meeting, really close to my goal weight, and a new person came in and looked at me and rudely asked "What are YOU doing here? You don't need to lose weight!" Hello....she knew nothing about me or the 100+ pounds I'd lost at that point. She made it seem like I was just there for silly vanity and had never struggled with weight in my life. People can be really dumb.
Also, my cousin got super-thin for a person belonging to our fatty gene pool several years ago and had to deal with a boatload of comments and talking behind her back. She was NOT underweight, but definitely on the lower side of healthy. Family members kept talking about her being too thin, gaunt, etc., and she really was not. It's just that people in my family are pretty darn fat, so seeing her like that was shocking and jealousy inducing. She has gained back a little, to about the middle of a healthy range, but the comments still continue! But if I were her, I wouldn't give a damn- who cares what others think, right?
I also have had family and friends tell me it's time I stop losing weight, in spite of still being a few pounds overweight according to my BMI. It seems like the larger people in our society get, the more distorted the view of what "normal" is- it keeps getting plumper and plumper among us common folk. Thinner and thinner for famous people, but that's a whole other topic.
Anyway, my advice is this: Ignore, ignore!!!0 -
I only mentioned I am losing weight to two people (other than my dad) both of them said told me "no dont lose weight".
Lolol screw that, I am going to get down to the very minimum of healthy weight for my height.
Its like people dont say anything when you get bigger, but when you start losing weight instead of wanting you to get healthier they want you to stop.
these are the kind of people you dont listen to.0 -
i have to deal with it at work and home. my husband ofcourse doesn't think i need to lose 80lbs. this is coming from a guy who is atleast 200lbs overweight. (i love him dearly but i really hope my weightloss will spark something in him to lose weight) and at work. I carry my weight very well and my coworkers all know i eat healhy and exercise. they are constantly telling me that i don't need to lose weight. that i'll look anorexic yet they constantly ask what i'm eating and what i'm doing for exercise (double standard anyone??)ugh people. can't they just let me lose weight in peace???!!!0
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I absolutely hate getting comments like this. Whenever I spend time with my family I'm constantly getting comments like, "are you supposed to be eating that?" or "how many calories have you had today?" The second I eat something that's not 100 percent healthy I get a comment about whether I'm supposed to be eating that. I work my butt off exercising every day so I can still enjoy the foods I like and continue my weight loss journey.0
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I absolutely hate getting comments like this. Whenever I spend time with my family I'm constantly getting comments like, "are you supposed to be eating that?" or "how many calories have you had today?" The second I eat something that's not 100 percent healthy I get a comment about whether I'm supposed to be eating that. I work my butt off exercising every day so I can still enjoy the foods I like and continue my weight loss journey.
That would drive me nuts! My family is the opposite. They WANT me to eat junk and try to shove it down my throat. "One day isn't going to hurt you." "Live a little, have another piece." "Life is too short." "You don't need to lose anymore, eat this." I swear my mom tries to fatten me up!0 -
I get it all the time....you are so tiny, you don't need to lose weight.....ummmm, they haven't seen me naked....and the bmi chart tells me that I am overweight......I guess people think that being overweight is more normal than being fit and healthy.0
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I'm being told I'm bonny even though I'm sitting at 18% body fat. I lost all my fat from my arms and the last place left for me to loose the remaining 20 lbs of fat is in my belly and love handles. People don't see that though. I take those remarks as signs that I'm doing something right.0
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One of my coworker's (older male) friends saw me for the first time in a few months recently. He said, "Are you the new girl?" I told him no, and that I'd met him before. He stared at me blankly for a few beats, and then asked: "Did you used to be fat?"
I laughed.0 -
I absolutely hate getting comments like this. Whenever I spend time with my family I'm constantly getting comments like, "are you supposed to be eating that?" or "how many calories have you had today?" The second I eat something that's not 100 percent healthy I get a comment about whether I'm supposed to be eating that. I work my butt off exercising every day so I can still enjoy the foods I like and continue my weight loss journey.
That would drive me nuts! My family is the opposite. They WANT me to eat junk and try to shove it down my throat. "One day isn't going to hurt you." "Live a little, have another piece." "Life is too short." "You don't need to lose anymore, eat this." I swear my mom tries to fatten me up!
My family will do that too sometimes. I have certain family members who pick out everything I eat that is bad and I have other family members that tell me I need to eat more.0 -
I just say "thank you". Even if I can tell they don't mean it as a compliment. It's easier and it shows them that I am doing this on purpose and am very happy with the direction I'm taking. When I was younger I used a lot of hard drugs and dropped weight remarkably fast. People would say "Oh, you've gotten SO skinny" and I would start blubbering lame excuses. Eventually I realized that doing that was way more suspicious than just saying "Thanks!" Now I'm in a very different (and healthier) spot, but I did hold on to the idea that sometimes just saying "Thanks" is the easiest response.0
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Urgh, I've had the "You're wasting away!" comment - and at that point I had a BMI above 30! People are pretty silly sometimes xD0
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I agree. Just say thank you.
People say that to be nice on one hand. On the other they want you to fail because you are showing strength, which makes them feel weak because we all have things to work on. Some people just feel insecure and don't want others to achieve a goal because they have trouble with their own stuff. Others just like to see us fail because it makes the feel good.
The important thing is not to let them blind side you with any comments. Keep your focus and be polite and control the situation.0 -
I think that comments like this can be misconstrued.
For example, my sister is 5'2" and weighs 110 pounds. She is a model, and she thinks she is fat all the time. She recently gained five pounds and thinks the world is going to end. When she asks me if she looks fat, I say no, and that I don't think she needs to lose weight.
I don't say that she doesn't need to lose weight for any other reason than just that it's what I think - she is beautiful. Stick thin with a bigger bum, and that's what she's always called her best "*kitten*-et". However, it's also what gives her the lowest self confidence because it's a bigger part of her.
I don't know. I just think that sometimes people jump to conclusions about comments that others make about their weight loss. Be you. Do your thing. If you think you need to lose weight, then do it, you know? Don't worry if others think you're wasting away, or if they aren't super supportive.
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The first time I lost a considerable amount of weight I was a bit younger and I did it very fast. People would tell me how proud of me they were at first and then when I was at my goal weight I would get comments from friends that I was too skinny and that they were "worried" about me. These comments, along with other things, eventually led me to put the weight back on because they made me feel uncomfortable with my body, again. I don't mean to blame the people around me for me being overweight, but comments like "you're wasting away" or "you're too skinny now" are not helpful when trying to feel comfortable with a new, healthier body image. Overall, looking back I can say that some of my friends were probably resentful of my new healthier lifestyle and felt uncomfortable with the change. You really have to realize that sometimes the person who knows what is best for you is often yourself. Don't let passive aggressive comments or comments that can be taken as disconcerting lead you astray from your goals.
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From August 2012 to August 2013 I had went from 177 pounds to 136 (with a goal weight of 128-130) and EVERYONE in my family told me to stop losing weight, I looked sick, your getting too small this and that and for a while I brushed it off but then after being told so many times that I didn't look good I got very self conscious and started eating what ever I wanted. Thinking "Well I lost all this weight and I still look bad so this one 'brownie' wont hurt" (not always brownies lol) Now 3 months later I am 10 pounds heavier and I feel worse than ever, for more than one reason. I feel bad because my clothes are tighter, I feel bad because I worked so hard to lose weight and I literally threw it all away because someone other than myself wasn't happy with my body. And I am pissed that I let everyone else effect how I felt about myself. Today I am starting over for the last time. I will get to a weight I am comfortable with. I will reach my goal and I will be happy with myself, no matter how anyone else feels about it. Don't let them get to you, just smile kindly and know that some people will be jealous of your weight loss because you are doing something they want to do but wont make the sacrifices. And being "healthy" now a days isn't the norm. We are used to seeing more over weight people than we are used to see healthy people and that can be weird for some people. Congrats on your progress and keep going!! You can do this.0
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I hate it when people say things about me being "skinny." Um, I'm still "obese" according to the BMI scale and am still 30+ pounds from a "healthy" weight for my height. I'm definitely not skinny. Have I lost a lot of weight? Do I look a lot better than I did before? Am I healthier and happier now? All yes, but I'm not skinny by any stretch of the imagination.
I usually just respond with thanks, but I still have a long way to go. I don't want anyone to think that I'm perceiving myself as "done." I won't be "done" ever. This is just how I live now.
Yes. One of my coworkers calls me "skinny" now. "Hi Skinny!" And I know she means well and I have lost weight but I am not skinny. I feel like it's like calling a big guy 'Tiny".0 -
I've always been teased in my family as I was the chubby one, since childhood.
I hated my body and in my teens I became an emotional eater. I only got overweight at university though.
I have been keeping a diary since, where I record my weight and my measurements every month.
Once I finished my studies I eventually got rid of a lot of stress. Felt even better when I went to live on my own. I dropped more weight because of some painkillers that made me sick. At my granma's funeral my weight was 47 kg, body fat 13%. My uncle's comment? Uh, you look different. You are not fat, not slim, just different...
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Only now that I weight 54 kg, reading my diary I understand I wasn't fat. I felt fat. That's what I have always been told I was...0
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I actually like talking about my weight and my weight loss. Talking about it has made me feel more in control of it emotionally and mentally. It's like admitting you have a problem, you take away its power over you. This is my story and it's not like I can pretend it isn't. My body size is kind of obvious to everyone. I'm happy to talk about it, especially if it encourages others to find their path.
A lot of people at work have stopped to ask me about it. People I've known a long time and people I've never spoken to before will stop me. I don't mind people asking me about my success. If someone says something stupid without meaning to, I try to remember that asking people about their bodies and weight is often very uncomfortable for people. No one knows what to say that won't be offensive.
What I hate is when people immediately tell me that I'm doing it wrong or that I should try something that they've tried instead. It makes me kind of laugh since obviously I'm 72lbs down, clearly what I'm doing is working, but I think people just want to validate themselves. That's fine. I try not to take it too seriously. I get very sad though when people ask me a lot of questions and when I tell them that I adjusted my diet to fit my personal needs and I work out 4-5 days a week and I pay a personal trainer, they totally shut down. "I can't do that." or "That's not really for me." I don't know what they expected me to tell them. What magic I have up my sleeves.
I am dreading the day someone asks me about my "surgery". The surgery I didn't have.0 -
I too have had the "wasting away" comment made, and I'm sure people think they're being complimentary, but I just find it irritating. I'm still medically overweight, so wasting away is something of an overstatement.
I have two personal massive bug-bears, the first being the all-powerful "do you feel better for it?". This implies that I felt sick in the first place. I didn't, and right now I just feel exhausted from all the exercise, early get-ups and massive amounts of willpower required to stop shoving a cake in my face every other minute.
The other is "what's your secret". No secret, just hard work, but you don't want to hear that.
One other that drives me a bit bonkers is hearing people tell me that they're jealous. Jealous of what? All the blood, sweat and tears I've put in to shedding all the weight? All the early get-ups and refused chocolates? I don't think so!
I know it was my own fault that I needed to lose the weight in the first place, but comments like don't make me feel empowered or complimented, they actually make me feel as if all the hard work I've put in is being devalued and made cheap. Unfortunately people will be people, and many don't like change so the comments will continue. I have found it useful recently to ask myself what someone would make of me if they met me for the first time, and didn't have a "past me" to compare the "present me" to - I think their perceptions of whether or not weight loss was necessary would probably be quite different.
Good luck to all!0 -
a long time ago when I was on weight watchers I lost 30 lbs about. and a friend came up to me and said " you're a better person now since you lost weight." so I was a bad person when I was overweight? weird.0
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I had a very good friend of mine who is obsessed with staying slim and always talks about it ask me my goal weight and when I told her said "but then your be smaller than me". Given that she is 4 inches taller than me of course im looking to weigh less to be healthy. Im also always being told I suit this weight!!!! Some people0
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When I see relatives one of the first comments made is about my weight. Its like word vomit, they need to say one of two "hey there, you skinny little thing" or *hug* "jeeze you're so tiny, its like hugging air" well…I'm sorry, I mean I'm 5'3-5'4 I'm at a perfectly acceptable weight. sigh, I'm sure they mean well, however whereas I'm trying to get "fit", skinny isn't the word i appreciate hearing0
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I attend a free Zumba class at a local church. I'm used to getting comments from family friends and even coworkers. Last week a classmate at zumba told me I was perfect, and that I am crazy if I lose anymore weight! really? This from someone else trying to get healthy? No it wasn't the instructor . Its very frustrating!
I feel skinny don't get me wrong, but there are areas I still want to work on (like my thunder thighs). I'm 5'5, 157.4lbs and wear a size 8 jeans, I just want to be healthy my GW is 130, which I think is reasonable. My BMI says I can weight between 112-150, so I'm shooting for the middle.0
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