Embarrassing your trainer...what do you think?

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  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
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    The cleanse she suggested was a 10-day cleanse by Advocare. I found it here:

    http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx

    By suggesting a cleanse, your trainer did a really good job of making herself look bad on her own.

    Time for a new gym and a new trainer.
  • Shuuma
    Shuuma Posts: 465 Member
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    Personally, my opinion is that you should find a new place to invest in your life. Your trainer is working for someone that bases her performance on your rate of success rather than your level of motivation and excitement about losing weight and being healthier.

    A trainer is not a keeper. They should be inspiring you and working with you to be the best you possible.

    I'd ask for my money back for the reminder of your contract and go somewhere else where you can find the inspiration you need without the added pressure of keeping your trainer in a job because her manager is a douchecanoe.

    Look for gyms offering a free month and try them all out until you find somewhere you feel comfortable.

    And don't do the cleanse. Just keep eating well and drink a lot of water. You can do this!
  • newlife888
    newlife888 Posts: 83 Member
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    Your trainer's boss is a jerk. How horribly rude. Do not listen to anything that mean person says. Don't worry about it, and keep trying every day. I agree with other posters that the cleanse is probably a bad idea.

    Healthy living is a marathon, not a sprint. Who cares someone can lose 30 pounds in 3 weeks if they gain it all back in the following 3 weeks? The goal is to reach and maintain a healthy weight, and to feel happy in your body. We all stumble on our journey (I know I do, a lot, lol). The trick is to get back up, and keep working on the new healthy you day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year. Good luck and Happy New Year. Don't give up. We are here for you :)
  • sjohnny
    sjohnny Posts: 56,142 Member
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    Okay, let me see if I got this straight. You shouldn't ask your trainer for diet input because that's not a trainer's specialty. You go to a trainer for physical training so you should ignore whatever they say about diet. But if they recommend a cleanse then you should drop them regardless of how good they are at training because they obviously don't know anything about proper nutrition even though you're not supposed to take their nutrition advice anyway.


    Having a trainer seems complicated.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    The cleanse she suggested was a 10-day cleanse by Advocare. I found it here:

    http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx

    1) the manager was out of order and I would have told him to eff off

    2) if the trainer suggested a cleanse I would also tell them to eff off.

    they are both idiots.
  • aldale
    aldale Posts: 118 Member
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    What was said was totally unprofessional. It should never have been said. Your health is more important than your trainer's reputation. Anyone coming into the gym would not know if you lost or gained. And it is nobody's business! I would speak to the trainer, but I might find another gym that did not have rude managers. You pay them to help you regardless of their reputation! I would be taking my money elsewhere.
  • MzTanya77
    MzTanya77 Posts: 79 Member
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    I don't agree w/ the training manager's approach, but I do understand where they are coming from. The client's success IS the trainer's success. Many people choose their trainer usually by word of mouth because they have seen successful clients. If the OP is telling people that "__________" is her trainer and they see she hasn't lost much weight, their first thought would be that the trainer is not very good, not that the OP is not following the plan.

    With that being said, it was very wise of you to discontinue the sessions until you're in the right mindset. I personally, would speak to the manager one-on-one and tell them how upset I was at the tongue-lashing, then move on to another gym or trainer, or just consult w/ a nutrionist.
  • veggiebuckeye
    veggiebuckeye Posts: 115 Member
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    I would have just walked out period. No one should ever treat you that way.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    The cleanse she suggested was a 10-day cleanse by Advocare. I found it here:

    http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx

    1) the manager was out of order and I would have told him to eff off

    2) if the trainer suggested a cleanse I would also tell them to eff off.

    they are both idiots.

    ^ perfectly chosen words in the perfect word order.
  • F00LofaT00K
    F00LofaT00K Posts: 688 Member
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    I started working with a trainer around this summer, and with her help I lost 30 lbs. And it's been a struggle every single day, trying to overcome emotional/stress eating. In the last month or so, I admit to letting life get in the way of my weight loss journey - stress, a relationship going bad, business travel, anxiety regarding an upcoming surgery, and, of course, the holidays - and completely fell off the wagon. I've continued working out, but my eating habits went completely awry, resulting in me putting back on half of what I lost.


    I went to the gym today, and after my training session, was telling my trainer that I feel like I'll be in a better place to get back on track for New Years, and wanted her advice on a cleanse that I can do to start off. The training manager happened to come over and joined in our conversation. And I got scolded...he told me that by me not doing what I should have been doing all this time, that I was making the trainer look bad. He said it several times...that I was making her look bad, because people see that I work with her, and if I'm not putting in 100% as her client, then it reflects negatively on the trainer.


    On one level, I guess I can understand that - I've trained people at different office jobs and have recommended people for positions to management, and when they don't perform accordingly, it is frustrating because I feel like it DOES reflect on me. But on another level, I just feel like quitting. The idea that I've made her look bad or embarrassed her in any way because I did not control my eating, makes me not want to return to that gym and discontinue my training contract.


    I dunno...what do you all think about this?

    The trainers job is to help you, not the other way around. You aren't being paid or contracted to make her look good, she is being paid to teach you about fitness and help you reach your goals to the best of her ability... with the understanding that once you leave the gym, the rest is up to you. The manager sounds like an ***. I'd like to think the other patrons are 1.) smart enough to realize that a trainer isn't a wizard who succeeds or fails at making somebody thin and 2.) are focusing on their own goals and workouts and not keeping track of the weight loss/gain of other patrons i.e. YOU. If I were in your shoes, I would have felt humiliated and my self-esteem would have taken quite the beating. He has no idea what is going on in your life. Does he think that you aren't aware that you fell off the wagon? You're being honest with your trainer about your home habits and I don't see why he even involved himself. What a jerk!

    I vote that you keep going. What was the point of all the work you put in just to quit? If you feel that uncomfortable about going back, look into other gyms in your area... and maybe write a letter to the manager explaining why you changed. I would anyway. I actually feel angry right now. :explode:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    The cleanse she suggested was a 10-day cleanse by Advocare. I found it here:

    http://www.advocare.com/products/well/W3171.aspx

    1) the manager was out of order and I would have told him to eff off

    2) if the trainer suggested a cleanse I would also tell them to eff off.

    they are both idiots.

    ^ perfectly chosen words in the perfect word order.

    This.

    You DON'T need a cleanse. Don't do that.

    You don't *need* a trainer, but if you like having one, go get a different one, right after you tell the trainer's boss that his extreme unprofessionalism is the reason you are leaving.
  • scottkjar
    scottkjar Posts: 346 Member
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    Everyone else here is wrong.

    The training manager is NOT a d-bag. The training manager is not an a-hole.

    The training manager was finding a different way to motivate OP. If the OP won't do it for OP's sake, then maybe the OP will do it for trainer's sake. It's about ACCOUNTABILITY TO SOMEONE.

    Here is what the training manager was thinking: If OP really cares about her trainer, then OP will be concerned that someone else thinks badly of the trainer due to OP falling off the wagon. Then maybe OP will kick up her training a notch, get back in gear, and make the trainer look good.

    Have none of you ever increased your effort at anything in order to help someone else? Your favorite teacher was up for a promotion so you studied harder to get better grades so your teacher looked better? Your supervisor was scheduled for an evaluation so you all cleaned up your work area better so the supervisor's eval was better?

    No? Really? How sad.

    I say HURRAY for the training manager for digging into his bag of tricks to try to find an alternate way to motivate OP. And I give raspberries to all the other posters on this thread for not seeing that the training manager is trying to help the OP.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
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    Here is what the training manager was thinking: If OP really cares about her trainer, then OP will be concerned that someone else thinks badly of the trainer due to OP falling off the wagon. Then maybe OP will kick up her training a notch, get back in gear, and make the trainer look good.


    in addition to reading peoples minds, can you also predict the winning lottery numbers for me?
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
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    Sounds like he was maybe trying to motivate you through guilt. However since you are PAYING for a service I think this was more rude of him than helpful.
  • rita27ny
    rita27ny Posts: 820 Member
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    wow i would have given him a huge tongue lashing but that's just me. i dont deal well with being scolded like i'm a child even when i was a child i had a huge problem with it and sassed back, so as an adult i for darn sure will not let someone talk to me like that. especially someone that i pay for a service!

    if she thinks you make her look bad then she can always not take your money, but if she did then that's stupid. she's a PT not a life coach. she's there to get you fit not police your food and nutrition.

    personally i would go back and give the rude PT a reminder to either mind his own damn business or come to my house free of charge and cook all my meals. if not the latter then he needs to drink a huge cup of STFU

    lol ur right. the manager is unprofessional. u should write a letter and complain to the corporate headquarters about this manager. u paid for a service and u should not be treated like crap.
  • Shuuma
    Shuuma Posts: 465 Member
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    I say HURRAY for the training manager for digging into his bag of tricks to try to find an alternate way to motivate OP. And I give raspberries to all the other posters on this thread for not seeing that the training manager is trying to help the OP.

    I'll own the raspberry you send my way. My losing weight and being in better shape has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else in any way whatsoever. You may be motivated by humiliation and guilt, but not everyone is. I think it's skeevy for people to embarrass other people into doing something to make them feel better about themselves. Sorry, but I just can't agree with this bullying approach.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Have none of you ever increased your effort at anything in order to help someone else? Your favorite teacher was up for a promotion so you studied harder to get better grades so your teacher looked better? Your supervisor was scheduled for an evaluation so you all cleaned up your work area better so the supervisor's eval was better?

    No? Really? How sad.

    First of all OP is the boss, not the trainer.

    A person's body is different than a test or work station. You don't owe anyone, anything when it comes to your person. You have to want it for you or it NEVER works.

    Also, not being a kiss *kitten* isn't sad.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    Everyone else here is wrong.

    The training manager is NOT a d-bag. The training manager is not an a-hole.

    The training manager was finding a different way to motivate OP. If the OP won't do it for OP's sake, then maybe the OP will do it for trainer's sake. It's about ACCOUNTABILITY TO SOMEONE.

    Here is what the training manager was thinking: If OP really cares about her trainer, then OP will be concerned that someone else thinks badly of the trainer due to OP falling off the wagon. Then maybe OP will kick up her training a notch, get back in gear, and make the trainer look good.

    Have none of you ever increased your effort at anything in order to help someone else? Your favorite teacher was up for a promotion so you studied harder to get better grades so your teacher looked better? Your supervisor was scheduled for an evaluation so you all cleaned up your work area better so the supervisor's eval was better?

    No? Really? How sad.

    I say HURRAY for the training manager for digging into his bag of tricks to try to find an alternate way to motivate OP. And I give raspberries to all the other posters on this thread for not seeing that the training manager is trying to help the OP.

    lol....how on earth would you know? Is the manager a psychologist now? Sounds like it didn't motivate much even if it was his intention...so he is pretty crap at his job either way you look at it.

    Also...everyone else here is wrong? What are the odds?
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
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    I'd find a different gym and let the trainer manager know that I'm not interested in taking on any big responsibilities to anyone else regarding my fitness.

    It was clearly hard for you just being responsible to yourself and to your trainer; adding being responsible FOR your trainer gets a bit much. No thanks.

    I mean, the manager can think it and all, but putting it to you was kind of dumb. Chances are you'll resent it too much, and it'll be very hard to walk in that door. Somehow I don't think that's what you needed right then.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    what?! This just sounds like a mess all the way around. The manager sounds like a jerk, I wouldn't go to any trainer who recommends a cleanse, and the OP looking for a quick fix rather than doing the necessary work....

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