Eating for your hair type

2

Replies

  • Just_Sha
    Just_Sha Posts: 61 Member
    This cracked me up!
  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
    :laugh:

    Is that the same as eating your blood type. :laugh:
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    At first I was skeptical... I thought... no way this diet could beat my current eating for my foot size diet. But then, I kept reading your post and discovered... there's science! How do I buy the unicorn pills? I would like a year's supply please!

    private message me your account number, sort code, address, all your secret information from your bank account, card number, PIN number and your online banking username and password, and I'll send you the unicorn pee and tail hair pills
  • Marcia315
    Marcia315 Posts: 460 Member
    OK, real hair color is black, but I'm rapidly graying. But I dye my hair. But the gray/white hair diet sounds much better than the black hair diet.

    What to do? What to do?
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Sounds like you got ripped off. The one I bought also included pixie dust and a magic wand sprinkled with the vomit of a gnome. I've been eating for my hair type for a while now, but these pills are "making my dreams come true" faster than ever. I don't even have to do my weekly detox anymore! My Saturday nights are free for carb-loading!

    cocaine-epic-fairy-dust-gif-peter-pan-Favim.com-368855.gif

    S1e1_gnome_throwing_up_animated.gif

    thank you for informing me about this. I wrote a very terse email to the dodgy looking guy on the street corner who sold me my distributor's package for this diet, and he sent me my pixie dust and gnome vomit wand, and a free sample of gnome vomit pills, plus a can of ginger beer, because I'm a heterozygous ginger/brown haired person.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    OK, real hair color is black, but I'm rapidly graying. But I dye my hair. But the gray/white hair diet sounds much better than the black hair diet.

    What to do? What to do?

    dye your hair white and enjoy your fava beans and chianti and whatever you choose to eat with them.
  • Santasmincepie
    Santasmincepie Posts: 32
    What about hair length? The more you have, the more you eat?

    I've just had mine cut, does that mean I have to halve my portion sizes? I've got highlights in my hair, does that mean I can eat the brown diet (I'm not mixing wine and beer though, hangover central) and snack on white chocolate?
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    What about hair length? The more you have, the more you eat?

    I've just had mine cut, does that mean I have to halve my portion sizes? I've got highlights in my hair, does that mean I can eat the brown diet (I'm not mixing wine and beer though, hangover central) and snack on white chocolate?

    yeah eating the brown diet and snacking on white chocolate sounds like a good plan.

    hair length, yes your body requires protein to grow hair therefore you need to eat more to maintain longer hair. it's fizzicks ya know.

    you should be able to mix wine and beer and not get a hangover if you eat plenty of the unicorn pee and tail hair pills at the same time. Maybe include some gnome vomit as well, just to be on the safe side.
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    What the hell do bald people eat?

    I was wondering the same thing. This diet plan seems to discriminate against bald people
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    I like you :happy:
  • Santasmincepie
    Santasmincepie Posts: 32
    What the hell do bald people eat?

    I was wondering the same thing. This diet plan seems to discriminate against bald people

    I guess they can eat anything they want or nothing at all.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Eating for my hair type?

    You mean fabulously? I do that already...
  • WuTanquerayClan
    WuTanquerayClan Posts: 132
    *looks up* :cry:
  • LoveMyLife_NYC
    LoveMyLife_NYC Posts: 230 Member
    IN for chocolate.

    ...but, who gets to eat the bacon? :ohwell:
  • catfive1
    catfive1 Posts: 529 Member
    Natural ginger at birth now a dyed ginger.

    I may just let it go white so I can eat caviar and lobster.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    What if I dye my hair?
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I'm bald. I feel like the kid that wasn't picked for any team. :(
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
    Thank God! I thought the derp had reach critical mass already! Well played OP. *cleans spit coffee of of monitor*

    unfortunately the ongoing battle against forum derp isn't going well. We have suffered many casualties and still the derp-meisters keep on arriving in droves leaving derp trails like a million slugs and snails on a cold, damp October day in Britain.

    I read this in my Winston Churchill voice...
  • empressichel
    empressichel Posts: 730 Member
    I'm in!
    My hair is past knee length!
    I get to eat all the FOODZ!
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
    So if I'm a natural brunette but an unnatural blonde, then what do I eat?

    :ohwell: :frown:

    chocolate and twinkies (fake yellow food)
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    At first I was skeptical... I thought... no way this diet could beat my current eating for my foot size diet. But then, I kept reading your post and discovered... there's science! How do I buy the unicorn pills? I would like a year's supply please!

    private message me your account number, sort code, address, all your secret information from your bank account, card number, PIN number and your online banking username and password, and I'll send you the unicorn pee and tail hair pills
    u ppl always forget mothers maiden name!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    my brown hair's really long, that's why i eat ALL TEH CHOCOLATEZ.

    then sometimes my roots show, those are my once in awhile lobster days.

    then I'm bald somewhere, which allows me the stippers and cigars. Yay ME!

    ETA: sorry it was strippers not hookers.
    ETA2: thanks bald dude. I like the extra touch of cigars and strippers but is it okay if I don't eat them but consider them my cardio and strength training?
  • vagabondgoddess
    vagabondgoddess Posts: 38 Member
    Hmm idk I don't really like the food under blonde lol
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    trading-places-santa.gif

    Maybe eating hair would be a better idea.
  • bellesouth18
    bellesouth18 Posts: 1,071 Member
    What can people who wear wigs eat? And what about those with the hair transplant thingies stitched into their scalps?
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    At first I was skeptical... I thought... no way this diet could beat my current eating for my foot size diet. But then, I kept reading your post and discovered... there's science! How do I buy the unicorn pills? I would like a year's supply please!

    private message me your account number, sort code, address, all your secret information from your bank account, card number, PIN number and your online banking username and password, and I'll send you the unicorn pee and tail hair pills
    u ppl always forget mothers maiden name!

    mother's maiden name is subsumed under the category of "all your secret information" - these bank clerks are getting more sophisticated. Mother's maiden name alone isn't enough nowadays
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I'm bald. I feel like the kid that wasn't picked for any team. :(

    bald people get to eat bourbon, cigars and strippers. cognac is okay if you prefer that to bourbon. see the previous replies for more details
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    What can people who wear wigs eat? And what about those with the hair transplant thingies stitched into their scalps?

    you get to eat all the ultra-processed packaged foods that the paleo dieters hate. and cognac , cigars and strippers because you're all bald at heart really.
  • Oliviamarie05
    Oliviamarie05 Posts: 528 Member
    This is a thing?

    I don't want to live on this planet any more.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    This is a thing?

    I don't want to live on this planet any more.

    There are exits on your left and right, just follow the special safety lighting. Don't forget your life jacket and take your heels off before you jump on the inflatable ramp/raft thing.

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