What causes failure?

123457

Replies

  • It's hard to keep up with new days-old/weeks-old/months-old habits when trying to change years and years of bad habits.

    Life happens. It's not a failure unless you stop trying.

    thanks for this..I like it muchly and shall copy it!! a decade ago I was not slim but was indeed fitter and could run 3 miles and wear uk14 now I am slothlike with a bad back...a lot happened in between these two states but the biggest change in me is laziness. No discipline at all. I have yet to find a groove where I can make those changes to lifestyle which are needed on a forever scale.
    Back to MFP, yes...a bit like an alcoholic falling off the wagon, I need to climb on...and THAT takes effort. xx
  • What an important topic! How to maintain. I just read through a lot of this thread and I think the key is realizing that getting there is just part of the challenge. Understanding that you're not done is the other half. I'm now 10 pounds below my target - on purpose because of my fear of the bounce. The excitement of losing has worn off and the scale not moving is a new challenge. My solution is to shift objectives. I lost eating healthy so I don't have to sweat coming off a weird eating plan and I started exercising. Exercise objectives are now my key. I am focused on running a half marathon in February. My mile times are now well below 10 minutes and so I continue to use those as my motivation. This is after starting by run walking 12+ minute miles. I also have increased my cycling distances and improved my times. My objective is to enter a 50 mile ride. I can do 25 now.
    Everyone is different but for me having something to achieve fits the bill.
  • tlc12078
    tlc12078 Posts: 334 Member
    mental plateau, yep.
  • fattymcrunnerpants
    fattymcrunnerpants Posts: 311 Member
    For me it was a combination of several different things. I lost 80lbs between 2008 and 2009. I got pregnant in 2009 for a second time then had a total hysterectomy. Even during pregnancy (and bedrest for several months!) I was able to still maintain a healthy weight. Basically I kept a healthy weight from 2009 to 2012 when I had surgery last December to blast off some of the scar tissue that was causing me a bunch of pain (adhesions are common post hysterectomy) and it just caused a lot more trouble. Over the course of a year I blew up to something I can't even imagine being after being healthy for a while. Lost all my energy, had no clue why, was in severe pain, couldn't get out of bed. It was horrible. After about 6 months of seeking treatment the doctor found a large tumor on my thyroid and my thyroid wasn't producing enough hormones. They biopsy came back as cancerous. I had the tumor removed in October and about 2 weeks later my energy skyrocketed although I was still in a bunch of pain in my stomach. The cancer was encapsulated so yay! I finally took the reigns and decided these dumb doctors had pissed away enough of my time and insisted upon being referred to a pain specialist. A little over 2 weeks ago I finally got into see the pain doctor and he put me on a new regiment and referred me to physical therapy. The PT guy I saw on Friday told me that my muscles were really tight and most likely damaged because of the surgeries. We're going to work on it. But I have hope. During the past year I have gained a bunch of weight because I stopped exercising and have been very depressed. Constant pain does that to a person.

    I'm sure my reason's aren't that typical. But that's why it's been hard for me to maintain. If it weren't for the pain stuff I think I would have been fine. I know someone who has had similar issues but still exercised through them, I'm too much of a wuss for that. I am happy to say that in the past 2 weeks I have had days where I have been completely pain free. I know I'll get back on track again.
  • DeeDeeMee
    DeeDeeMee Posts: 133 Member
    I think they fail because it is just not their time!

    When we set out to do things that are within our control, failure is not really an option. Though things can come up and interfere that's not failure, failure is giving up.

    ^^ This, and several other things people have said, esp that this is a change for the rest of your life. I think that one of the main reasons that people 'fail' is that they see this as a temporary diet until they hit their goal and then revert to their pre-loss ways. Or they cut out certain high-cal foods or really restrict their foods drastically and that sort of thing just isn't maintainable. If you deprive yourself constantly of the foods you love you'll only end up craving them and going on a binge.

    If you want some practical advice, adjust your diet to be something that you'll be happy living on forever. Go for foods you enjoy and find satisfying, just eat less of them.
  • DeeDeeMee
    DeeDeeMee Posts: 133 Member
    I finally realized why this posting bothers me. A while ago, I learned that by focusing on success and not failure, you will be successful. So, turn the question around.

    I've brought this up before and people always want to argue. The reason they want to argue is because it's the way we were taught. From the beginning, if you're bad with something, like math, you work harder to get yourself proficient. It is inherent in our upbringing and counter-intuitive to say, screw that noise. I'm focusing on things I do well. Things I do poorly, I'll manage, but it won't try to get better.

    So, again, learning why people fail is irrelevant. Ask how people succeed, and see what they say. Then, model your behavior using a model of success.

    Cheers!

    ^^ This. Yes!
  • blkericia
    blkericia Posts: 105 Member
    stress eating became my down fall, you must find the right balance with food, but you have to exercise always to keep it off,
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    bro, you are all over the place....no breakfast, companies are forcing us to eat, double blind placebos..bla, bla, bla...

    breakfast does not make you gain weight or lose weight..under eating or over eating is what makes you gain or lose...

    I agree with you. Ultimately we decide what and how much we eat and how much we exercise.

    I think many times failure results from blaming someone else for the results of our own actions instead of taking personal responsibility.
  • stepheatscake
    stepheatscake Posts: 167 Member
    The wrong mindset and setting goals too high & not giving yourself enough time to achieve them
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    I wasn't sure where to post this question, so I figure I would ask those that are trying to maintain. Lately I have seen several people posting things like "Back to MFP again". I've seen a lot of people on here talking about how they lost weight and then gained some or all of it back so they are back on MFP. Why do people fail? Right now I have the drive in me to lose weight. Once it is lost, I don't want it back. What makes maintaining hard? What can I do to prepare myself better?

    Maintaining is more difficult that losing for a number of reasons... Usually when we are losing, we are being reinforced by others, by new clothes, etc. There are few accolades for maintaining. Also, during the losing process, we are often goal driven which means we have goals and find ourselves meeting those goals... During maintenance, there really are no attainable goals, many times. Perhaps the better question here, is what makes people SUCCEED...? For me, I think it is finding a new goal that I can move toward... a new improvement that encompasses a new healthy lifestyle... Rather than trying to MAINTAIN 225 lbs, I am trying to lift a heavier weight, build more muscle, lower my body fat percentage or whatever... at any rate, I still have work to achieve... not just maintain. None-the-less, we all fail in life BUT we never become a failure UNLESS we QUIT... Best wishes on every success.
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
    no discipline.

    Actually I would disagree and say that often it's a reaction to a prolonged state of too much discipline. Instead of trying to move into a manageable plan to stay on for the rest of one's life, with maybe a few more calories, a continued active lifestyle, etc., people tend to overdo in the dieting phase (lose too much or too quickly) and then rebel against all of the restriction. I would say learning how to give yourself permission to be undisciplined sometimes but knowing how to recover and get back on track is the key to sticking with the lifestyle change: understanding every day doesn't have to be an all or nothing test of perfection. Often when we screw up, we continue to screw up because we figure the damage is already done. Instead, if we tell ourselves a little lack of discpline here and there is normal, we can allow ourselves to see this as just a blip on the radar and go back to a healthy lifestyle plan without judging.
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    Some of the comments reminds me of one silly way I manage to avoid failure:

    Those stupid 'our junk food makes you happy, makes your life exciting, and makes your loved ones attentive and sparkly' advertisements. I see them on TV, I start silently yelling at the people who created them that they're liars and sugar pushers and I hope they end up fat, alone, and unemployed someday.

    Yeah, it's a bit extreme, but it helps. Lookin at you, Hershey's. Your chocolate commercials annoy me.
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    The National Weight Control Registry tracks people who have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. They have found some common behaviors in successful maintainers.


    78% eat breakfast every day.
    75% weigh themselves at least once a week.
    62% watch less than 10 hours of TV per week.
    90% exercise, on average, about 1 hour per day.


    More data available at: http://www.nwcr.ws/default.htm
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  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    The National Weight Control Registry tracks people who have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. They have found some common behaviors in successful maintainers.


    78% eat breakfast every day.
    75% weigh themselves at least once a week.
    62% watch less than 10 hours of TV per week.
    90% exercise, on average, about 1 hour per day.


    More data available at: http://www.nwcr.ws/default.htm

    LOL!

    The NWCR is NOT associated with the government. It is a VOLUNTARY online database where people can contribute data if they have lost more than x number of pounds and have kept it off.

    Data is self-reported.

    But let's look at the data.

    78% ate breakfast, but that means that 22% SKIPPED breakfast, which to some is a sacrosanct ritual.

    The kicker is that 90% exercised for an hour a day!

    Easy to keep weight off exercising like that. The rest probably exercised for less than an hour.

    Are you going to seriously exercise for an hour a day for the rest of your life?

    If so, then you will not have a weight problem, almost guaranteed.
    I generally exercise for about an hour a day (not all at once). Is it necessary? No. I'm fine on about 30 minutes a day. And no, not easy to keep off weight that day.
    As for breakfast: yup, it's a good thing.

    as for the rest, not sure why you're freaking out that it's not a government thing. most research isn't government run, it's university run. Like this one.
  • krista2131
    krista2131 Posts: 33 Member
    I have heard that calling anything a "diet" is going to set you up for failure, you should consider it a lifestyle change. A diet is something that is temporary and will not be sustained for a lifetime. Counting calories is a good way to make sure you lose and when you have lost you can maintain by counting calories as well. I think some people just want to see instant results, but not lbs are going to melt off as fast as you want them to. You have to be patient with yourself.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    I have heard that calling anything a "diet" is going to set you up for failure, you should consider it a lifestyle change. A diet is something that is temporary and will not be sustained for a lifetime. Counting calories is a good way to make sure you lose and when you have lost you can maintain by counting calories as well. I think some people just want to see instant results, but not lbs are going to melt off as fast as you want them to. You have to be patient with yourself.
    Calling it a diet isn't what causes failure. Not calling it a diet won't cause success. You have to ACT as though it's a lifestyle change. It has to BE a lifestyle change rather than a temporary thing. The key is: finding something YOU can sustain over the long haul. Whatever that is.
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  • svsl0928
    svsl0928 Posts: 205 Member
    The fail because the failed to realize that the same steps they did do take it off most of them the must do to keep it off. Also, many are eating less calories when the lose but the are not making healthy and realistically choices that the can live. This must be a life style change not a diet. I eat the same foods I ate before I started MFP. Some foods like desserts and French fries I don't eat as often. I have incorporated more fruit and vegetables. This is my two cents.
  • krista2131
    krista2131 Posts: 33 Member
    I have heard that calling anything a "diet" is going to set you up for failure, you should consider it a lifestyle change. A diet is something that is temporary and will not be sustained for a lifetime. Counting calories is a good way to make sure you lose and when you have lost you can maintain by counting calories as well. I think some people just want to see instant results, but not lbs are going to melt off as fast as you want them to. You have to be patient with yourself.

    Changing a word and expecting it to happen is silly.

    Just stating what has worked for me since I started. I started this for motivation not for people to try to say what I do is wrong. When you set your mind to something anything is possible. I'd rather tell people I changed my lifestyle than say I am on a diet because a diet is short term, you can't say you are on a diet your whole life. You change things about your eating and sustain that eating habit for life.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    The National Weight Control Registry tracks people who have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. They have found some common behaviors in successful maintainers.


    78% eat breakfast every day.
    75% weigh themselves at least once a week.
    62% watch less than 10 hours of TV per week.
    90% exercise, on average, about 1 hour per day.


    More data available at: http://www.nwcr.ws/default.htm

    LOL!

    The NWCR is NOT associated with the government. It is a VOLUNTARY online database where people can contribute data if they have lost more than x number of pounds and have kept it off.

    Data is self-reported.

    But let's look at the data.

    78% ate breakfast, but that means that 22% SKIPPED breakfast, which to some is a sacrosanct ritual.

    The kicker is that 90% exercised for an hour a day!

    Easy to keep weight off exercising like that. The rest probably exercised for less than an hour.

    Are you going to seriously exercise for an hour a day for the rest of your life?

    If so, then you will not have a weight problem, almost guaranteed.
    I generally exercise for about an hour a day (not all at once). Is it necessary? No. I'm fine on about 30 minutes a day. And no, not easy to keep off weight that day.
    As for breakfast: yup, it's a good thing.

    as for the rest, not sure why you're freaking out that it's not a government thing. most research isn't government run, it's university run. Like this one.

    It's false advertising. They want you to THINK it is run by the government.

    And it isn't even research- it's a collection of testimonials.

    This site is even worse than forums like these. At least here, if someone makes an assertion they can be questioned.
    Are you this much fun in real life? lol.

    It's interview questions. MANY qualitative studies are based on interview questions. Many health studies are based on interview questions.

    fwiw, I didn't see anything on the site that suggested it was government run. It does not have a .gov address and it states that it was started by two professors from two universities. In fact, the word government does not appear on the front page at all. Nor does United States. And the address at the bottom is for Brown University.
    Sorry if it confused you.
  • fattymcrunnerpants
    fattymcrunnerpants Posts: 311 Member
    The National Weight Control Registry tracks people who have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. They have found some common behaviors in successful maintainers.


    78% eat breakfast every day.
    75% weigh themselves at least once a week.
    62% watch less than 10 hours of TV per week.
    90% exercise, on average, about 1 hour per day.


    More data available at: http://www.nwcr.ws/default.htm

    LOL!

    The NWCR is NOT associated with the government. It is a VOLUNTARY online database where people can contribute data if they have lost more than x number of pounds and have kept it off.

    Data is self-reported.

    But let's look at the data.

    78% ate breakfast, but that means that 22% SKIPPED breakfast, which to some is a sacrosanct ritual.

    The kicker is that 90% exercised for an hour a day!

    Easy to keep weight off exercising like that. The rest probably exercised for less than an hour.

    Are you going to seriously exercise for an hour a day for the rest of your life?

    If so, then you will not have a weight problem, almost guaranteed.
    I generally exercise for about an hour a day (not all at once). Is it necessary? No. I'm fine on about 30 minutes a day. And no, not easy to keep off weight that day.
    As for breakfast: yup, it's a good thing.

    as for the rest, not sure why you're freaking out that it's not a government thing. most research isn't government run, it's university run. Like this one.

    It's false advertising. They want you to THINK it is run by the government.

    And it isn't even research- it's a collection of testimonials.

    This site is even worse than forums like these. At least here, if someone makes an assertion they can be questioned.

    Most studies are done via the self reporting method. The evidence is simply corollary.
  • I am so afraid of that. I am so close to my goal and I want to keep this weight off. Maybe they feel that they're done, so they stop keeping track and gradually slip into their old ways.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    "bro, you are all over the place....no breakfast, companies are forcing us to eat, double blind placebos..bla, bla, bla..."


    Do not underestimate the power of advertising. Fitness centers and commercial weight-loss programs do it all the time.

    Dude.

    right, because the food overlords have us programmed to eat when they tell us to.

    You are just where they want you.

    And you love Big Brother, right?

    When I was a kid, an afternoon kid's show guy always talked about Hostess Creme-filled Cupcakes. He'd open one up and bite out of it, and show the creamy inside. I watched it religiously.

    I have eaten a lot of them over the years.

    Even today, i will pick one up on impulse.

    And, you know, they taste pretty crappy.

    But I still buy them.

    has not had a hostess cupcake in 20 years…

    I eat when I want, and eat what I want. If I go to mcdonalds and scarf down a big mac and fries, so what? I won't be back for six months when I am on the road again …

    Just because you lack self control does not mean that you have been "programmed" to eat when some advertisement says so …it just means you need to work on said self control. how can I walk by a cupcake and not even glance at it, but you have an impulse to eat it? We both watch the same advertisement, yes? Yet you can't resist it, and I can ..hmmmm, I wonder why?

    Actually, I am a libertarian who abhors government control …but nice try to fit me into your preconceived box.
  • eatmindfully
    eatmindfully Posts: 93 Member
    Here is a different perspective from the yoga text the Patanjali Yoga Sutras. In the text Patanjali identifies 9 obstacles on the yoga path.

    Obstacles

    1. Vyadhi-physical or psycho physical diseases
    2. Styana-mental laziness, sluggishness, inertia, lack of interest
    3. Samsaya-doubt/indecision
    4. Pramada-negligence, carelessness, sluggishness
    5. Alasya-idleness, physical laziness
    6. Avirati-self gratification/self indulgence/indiscipline of the senses
    7. Bhranti darshana-Living in the world of illusion
    8. Alabdha bhumikatva-Doubt about results that will be achieved
    9. Anavastitava-Not getting stabilized in any state-inability to maintain

    - Patanjali Yoga Sutra #30
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    no willpower
  • wild_wild_life
    wild_wild_life Posts: 1,334 Member
    Here is a different perspective from the yoga text the Patanjali Yoga Sutras. In the text Patanjali identifies 9 obstacles on the yoga path.

    Obstacles

    1. Vyadhi-physical or psycho physical diseases
    2. Styana-mental laziness, sluggishness, inertia, lack of interest
    3. Samsaya-doubt/indecision
    4. Pramada-negligence, carelessness, sluggishness
    5. Alasya-idleness, physical laziness
    6. Avirati-self gratification/self indulgence/indiscipline of the senses
    7. Bhranti darshana-Living in the world of illusion
    8. Alabdha bhumikatva-Doubt about results that will be achieved
    9. Anavastitava-Not getting stabilized in any state-inability to maintain

    - Patanjali Yoga Sutra #30

    Let's see, 2, 5, 6 and 7 for me -- how many of these are we allowed to have?
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    For me, I think I failed in the past because I did quick fixes, and when I lost the weight I stopped.
    Never in those times did I learn to eat healthy, in moderation, and I never once exercised.

    This time around I taught myself to have a healthy diet 6/7 days, and to exercise atleast 3 days a week if not more.
    My healthy habits have stuck because I made it realistic for ME. I made sure I cut out things I could live without, and found ways to add things in that I knew I couldn't give up. I have cheat days, EVERY week, it works for me but I know it doesn't for everyone - that being said I didn't have one right away.

    Maintenance is hard. I got there last year, did well for about 8 months then put 10 lbs on. UGH! but I got myself in check quickly and lost most of it already. I know the tools, but life got away from me. So with that being said, I plan to be on MFP forever. Diets end, lifestyle changes don't. We all mess up, don't be too hard on yourself.

    Just remember time is going to pass anyways so do something productive with that time. Small losses add up to big losses, small starts in the gym amount to so much more. Keep focused and you will get there I am sure of that.
  • kczarnec
    kczarnec Posts: 28 Member
    I haven't read through all the replies so maybe someone has said this already but how is failure being defined? I doubt it's something we all agree has a universal definition in terms of weight management. If my perfectionism gets in the way, failure might mean one thing. It's a difficult question to answer when we all use different yardsticks for what is considered failure.
  • evviamarshall
    evviamarshall Posts: 80 Member
    Excellent question!