MFP Etiquette

24

Replies

  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    People I add I will keep in touch with. People that add me I keep in touch with IF they're active. If they're not active for a month, I delete them.

    you give them a month? wow! that's so generous. I usually delete folks after 10 days.

    Sometimes I accept and delete someone on the same day.

    lololololl:laugh:

    I've done that. It's usually after I find out they're those chicks with eating disorders. Which I have no idea why they add me. I'm not even close to looking like I have an eating disorder lol. At least not the same kind they do haha
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    I'm kind of the opposite. I don't want people to give me empty kudos, trite platitudes when I complete a workout or complete my food diary for the day. If you're saying "good job" "way2go!" often, it tends to become meaningless after awhile. I'd prefer to only get comments when I completely knock it out of the park, and I tend to only do the same with friends as well.

    This.

    It's like eating pizza everyday - it's not even enjoyable. Much better when it's an occasional treat!
  • Angie_Fritts
    Angie_Fritts Posts: 263 Member
    No. What happens is an individual normally "adds" the amount of friends they can adequately keep up with as far as actively encouraging them. But then, others add them, and they feel unkind saying no. So the friend list grows due to other people sending them requests. Then, the individual cannot possibly keep up with commenting on everyone's posts.

    I ran into this problem myself. I added maybe 5 people. A lot more people added me. I didn't feel right saying no. Then, people posted rants like this and got offended because not all their friends constantly commented on their postings.

    I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Different people use the friend feature for different things. Personally, I view the friend feature as a "forum" of sorts to ask questions and learn from each other in a more intimate setting than the normal forums.

    Clearly, not everyone sees it that way. When I do a workout, I don't need every friend to post a generic response each time. If I hear from you on one of every 15 workouts I do, that's practical and enough for me!

    I really don't understand this. And it's not to be rude towards you, OP. It's the school of thought in general that I just don't understand.

    This!!!^
  • rinaznet
    rinaznet Posts: 11 Member
    I'm kind of the opposite. I don't want people to give me empty kudos, trite platitudes when I complete a workout or complete my food diary for the day. If you're saying "good job" "way2go!" often, it tends to become meaningless after awhile. I'd prefer to only get comments when I completely knock it out of the park, and I tend to only do the same with friends as well.

    I do agree on this!

    I want to reinforce on my original post, I said life goes on! That there is /no need/ for likes or comments on /every single/ update. Although it's nice to give support to others every now and then.

    I thank everyone for giving their opinions and replies on this post, even the negative ones. It has been very enlightening :-)
  • bennettinfinity
    bennettinfinity Posts: 865 Member
    Besides being really busy, this is precisely why i don't do social media - i have enough stress worrying about 'offending' people or hurting feelings in real life.

    Why would i open myself up to feeling like a schmuck because i didn't respond often enough, fast enough, or positively enough to a 'friend's' random post?

    No thanks...
  • Deadlay
    Deadlay Posts: 135 Member
    Attention two friends of rinaznet - you've been put on notice.
  • DeltaZero
    DeltaZero Posts: 1,197 Member
    People I add I will keep in touch with. People that add me I keep in touch with IF they're active. If they're not active for a month, I delete them.

    you give them a month? wow! that's so generous. I usually delete folks after 10 days.

    Sometimes I accept and delete someone on the same day.

    lololololl:laugh:

    I've done that. It's usually after I find out they're those chicks with eating disorders. Which I have no idea why they add me. I'm not even close to looking like I have an eating disorder lol. At least not the same kind they do haha

    I think I have your same disorder. :sad: :sad:
  • smc864
    smc864 Posts: 570 Member
    I'm going to come off a bit harsh... but seriously?? Do you really need reassurance that bad? Do you need someone to tell you "great job" or "awesome burn" every time you do what you're supposed to be doing?

    I think it's nice when someone comments on my feed but to be honest it doesn't really make a difference in what I'm doing or how I feel about my progress. I don't want to say that I couldn't care less if someone comments, but I seriously couldn't care less.

    Furthermore, if someone comments on my feed I'm not going to rush over to their profile to return the favor... You should be doing this for you, not for generic comments from random people.

    You never pay attention to me! :sad:

    Hahaha, I need to come up with some more arbitrary words of encouragement and then maybe I'll be more likely to comment... I just don't want to write the same thing everyone else done. Here's a few I've been working on:

    *pats back* atta boy!
    Woooooooooooooowwwwwwww!!
    You did it! You really did it!
    I'm so very, very proud of you.
    Way to go big boy!

    I'll keep working on it.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    OP you're so passive agressive you've become agressive agressive. you know people on your friends list can see this, right?
  • smc864
    smc864 Posts: 570 Member
    Attention two friends of rinaznet - you've been put on notice.

    :laugh:
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    Here you go OP:

    http://emergencycompliment.com/

    You'll never feel left out ever again.
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
    I don't mind having people on my friends list who don't comment on my statuses. The thing that bugs me is when men add me and start harassing me for sex talk in private messages as soon as I accept. Those, I block. If people want to add me but not interact with me, that's fine.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    you need to have the good friends then
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    I don't mind having people on my friends list who don't comment on my statuses. The thing that bugs me is when men add me and start harassing me for sex talk in private messages as soon as I accept. Those, I block. If people want to add me but not interact with me, that's fine.

    What if I never add you and just want to talk teh sex with you?
  • Stripeness
    Stripeness Posts: 511 Member
    You might want to take a look at some profiles of folks who have a LOT of friends. You'll start seeing wording that defines their boundaries "respond to PMs, but not to every status post," etc. You could make similar statements in your own profile, so that people know what you want.

    Instead of assuming everyone is JUST LIKE YOU and wants constant interaction, try stating positively what YOU want.
    "I like to make daily comments on friend's status, and want friends who do the same."

    Isn't that a lot more pleasant than a pseudo-positive "Only want people who will be supportive" and then expecting them to read your mind and know that means commenting daily, or every x many days?

    Taking the chip off your shoulder is a great start - it's heavy! A truly positive attitude can only help you and those around you.
  • stat1124
    stat1124 Posts: 163 Member
    I'm not really seeing the point either. I mean I get what the OP is saying but I guess I come from a completely different school of thought. I add friends to encourage them selflessly. If they never came back to my page and offered up words of encouragement to me, that would be completely fine with me. As my goal and my mission is to get healthy, get fit and inspire others to the best of my ability. In keeping to the positive framework, you are assured to have some friends that will do the same for you and others who won't. It doesn't make any one person better than the other. Everyone uses the friend system in the a way that works best for them. If your goal is to have active friends that give constant encouragement, they are very easy to find here. Look for the ones that are the most social, and you will probably find someone who is also social on your page. Again, different strokes for different folks. I choose not to focus on the negative anymore, spent practically most of my life doing that and it never got me where I wanted to go! So if anyone wants motivational quotes and encouragement from me from time to time. Feel free to add me anytime! God Bless and Hope Everyone has a Safe and Happy New Year! P3~Out
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    are we back in high school?

    tumblr_mkv1nc5O0Q1rijbg1o1_500.gif
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    are we back in high school?

    tumblr_mkv1nc5O0Q1rijbg1o1_500.gif

    Middle school.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    I don't mind having people on my friends list who don't comment on my statuses. The thing that bugs me is when men add me and start harassing me for sex talk in private messages as soon as I accept. Those, I block. If people want to add me but not interact with me, that's fine.

    so how long are we supposed to wait before the sex talk? what's the proper etiquette on this?
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    I don't mind having people on my friends list who don't comment on my statuses. The thing that bugs me is when men add me and start harassing me for sex talk in private messages as soon as I accept. Those, I block. If people want to add me but not interact with me, that's fine.

    so how long are we supposed to wait before the sex talk? what's the proper etiquette on this?
    PM sent
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    I don't mind having people on my friends list who don't comment on my statuses. The thing that bugs me is when men add me and start harassing me for sex talk in private messages as soon as I accept. Those, I block. If people want to add me but not interact with me, that's fine.

    so how long are we supposed to wait before the sex talk? what's the proper etiquette on this?
    PM sent

    pics of my junk returned
  • gemben7
    gemben7 Posts: 1
    Hello, I want to lose weight and eat healthy. where can I ask members to share recipes please? I am new to this site :flowerforyou:
    x
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    I have connected with a huge group of MFPeeps in the nearly 2 years I've been here. I have added quite a few; many more have added me. That amounts to over 300 friends. Do I know everyone well? No. Some are lurkers who I figure keep me because they're getting something from the connection. Some I interact with almost daily and have now connected with off MFP. Others are just super amazing awesome people from whom I gain strength and encouragement and inspiration in various forms throughout my days.

    If you're on my FL and you happen to have worked out or posted something cool, fun, sad, interesting or whatever when I sit down to the screen, I'll probably post on it. But I can't go to each friend's profile and write something encouraging. I just can't. I have a husband and 5 kids in addition to this little fitness obsession.

    I look forward to seeing my MFPals each day and think about them while I am running... they keep me going :heart:

    ... and I haven't met any of them in person... except MrBigMack :blushing:
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    Here you go OP:

    http://emergencycompliment.com/

    You'll never feel left out ever again.

    That's awesome!!
  • Levesque_7
    Levesque_7 Posts: 104
    Besides being really busy, this is precisely why i don't do social media - i have enough stress worrying about 'offending' people or hurting feelings in real life.

    Why would i open myself up to feeling like a schmuck because i didn't respond often enough, fast enough, or positively enough to a 'friend's' random post?

    No thanks...

    Totally agree with this, besides i have enough friends in my real life who need my attention
  • SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants
    SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants Posts: 474 Member
    Some of us have over 200 friends..and geesh, they seem to still like me despite the fact I can only comment on a few here and there. JUST LIKE LIFE, its not about what you can get, but rather what you give. I tend to post daily shout-outs to all of the WONDERFUL people in here that inspire and motivate me daily, there's NO WAY I could do that individually. Dont sweat the small stuff! I dont get 200 comments on each of my posts. A few good friends are always there to like or comment but thats about it. Try adding some people and making a connection :) Thats where the real support comes in.
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    I'm THAT friend...the one that doesn't "like" or comment on every status that my FL posts.

    Like some, I have a pretty nice sized group of MFP's, and it's almost impossible to like and comment on everyone.

    Then, sometimes, life jumps in the way - hectic work schedules, illness, holidays, family drama, and sometimes all of the above and I'm doing well to just get in here and log my food. :wink: It's not that I don't love you guys; I do!

    If I commented and liked on every status on my friends list, I'd have to quit my job and MFP for a living. :laugh:
  • jigsaw_me
    jigsaw_me Posts: 616 Member
    Here you go OP:

    http://emergencycompliment.com/

    You'll never feel left out ever again.

    LOVE IT
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    All I got out of this is people can add me to their friends list without me knowing.
    tumblr_myoksgWJTZ1sj3oxho1_500.jpg
  • RunsOnEspresso
    RunsOnEspresso Posts: 3,218 Member
    I don't often comment on the diary close outs or exercises but I try to comment on other items the person actually writes. I feel those are more personal and meaningful to comment on then the generic MFP posts.

    If I don't have much to say or a lot of time I try to "like" things. It just depends.

Categories