Why do we have to suffer? :'(

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mailaki
mailaki Posts: 14 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night :'(:cry:
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Replies

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,669 Member
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    Hello MFP,
    I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
    I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
    Life is not fair to us overweight people.
    I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
    Good night :'(:cry:
    Tough love here: every "different" person feels this way even if not overweight/obese. You're 19 and with some effort and commitment can change all of that with the right attitude. Right now you're looking for pity and consoling.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
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    No one told you that you can't do those things or enjoy them. The only one who decides your attitude is YOU.
  • Cindyinpg
    Cindyinpg Posts: 3,902 Member
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    Fit people have problems too. A lot of it has to start with you. Being heavy should not stop you from enjoying life. There are still plenty of activities you can enjoy and relationships you can have, at ANY weight. But if you feel that your weight is holding you back from the life you want to experience, put your foot down and change it. Losing weight does not need to be complicated, you do not need to deprive yourself from foods you love or miss out on occasions you enjoy. I've lost 126lbs and I eat ice cream everyday, I enjoyed the holiday treats and meals, I go to the movies and have popcorn etc. My point is that the process can be fun, and it does work, but it will not be a cure all. Enjoy the journey and your life, right now, today. And here's a great post to get you started.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    I'm truly sorry you're feeling so low. I checked out your profile and saw that you struggle with depression. Do you work with a counselor or doctor on that? If you do, make sure they are consulting with your hypothyroid doc and vice versa.

    If you don't like your life, you can change it. Sometimes changing means getting the right kind of help and support, though.

    I'll keep you in mind-rooting for you!
  • blueboxgeek
    blueboxgeek Posts: 574 Member
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    Some people can't do all kinds of things through disability or injury, and that really isn't FAIR.

    But you have a chance to change this, to do something about it. It isn't always easy, but it certainly isn't impossible. lose the "it's not fair" attitude and adopt the "I'm not doing this any longer, I am going to kick butt and lose weight" attitude.

    With willpower and determination you can get to a healthy weight and enjoy all those things. You can do it.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
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    I'm not sure what you are looking for here, but you will not get pity from most of this community. Many of the people here have been in the same situation you are in now, and they DECIDED to change their life. Determination and commitment can turn your world around. Take a look at the Success stories thread, and then stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it.
  • tempehforever
    tempehforever Posts: 183 Member
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    Why do you think you can't enjoy life?

    You can literally do anything you want. There is no law saying that overweight people can't eat the food they want (you, and only you, chose what you put in your body), can't talk to strangers (??), or go (most) places (excluding, I don't know, maybe tiny airline seats or something). Just because you are overweight doesn't mean you need to hate and punish yourself.

    I do think that discrimination against fat people is, unfortunately, considered more socially-acceptable than discrimination against most other groups, which bothers me. However, f*** the haters. Feeling bad about yourself gives them the power, and the worse you feel about yourself, the less likely you are to make positive changes.

    It's great that want to lose weight (presumably--since you are on MFP), but your post concerns me that you base so much of your self-esteem on your weight. Plenty of people lose weight but still have a poor self image. This attitude, to me, seems a lot more worrisome than your weight, and something you might want to seek out some help for.

    Life is pretty unfair for most of us, overweight or not, and that is OK. Welcome to the human condition. :)
  • handyrunner
    handyrunner Posts: 32,662 Member
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    Well not sure if you expected the answers your getting...but the thing is you posted this in a place full of people who are all about change and wanting to live their life.

    Something that you can absolutly do if you choose to..in fact there is a whole movement out there full of people who are learning to be happy with themselves and their size...who think we are all wasting our time.

    A year ago I never thought Id be able to run a city block again in my life...Ive run 3 half marathons since then.

    We have to learn to change the things we can and accept the things we cant...otherwise...heres the shovel start piling on the dirt.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
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    Hello MFP,
    I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
    I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
    Life is not fair to us overweight people.
    I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
    Good night :'(:cry:

    You say you have hypothyroid and depression. Are you being treated by professionals for these conditions?

    As others have said, you CAN do the things you've described. Life is tough for everyone, but I'm not going to pretend that it isn't harder being obese. So work out a plan to end your obesity. You're 19. You have plenty of time.
  • climbing_trees
    climbing_trees Posts: 726 Member
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    No one told you that you can't do those things or enjoy them. The only one who decides your attitude is YOU.

    You aren't suffering because you're overweight. You're suffering because you LET yourself.

    If you are ready to change your life, you are in a great place. MFP is full of smart, kind people to help you on your fitness journey. It is also full of people ready to kick your butt if they see you slipping! Today is as good of a day as any to begin. :) Best of luck to you ^__^
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Hello MFP,
    I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
    I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
    Life is not fair to us overweight people.
    I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
    Good night :'(:cry:

    I think you'll wish this post got buried!
  • dawningr
    dawningr Posts: 387 Member
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    You don't 'have' to suffer. You don't 'have' to be obese. Take control of your life and make it better.
  • gatecityradio
    gatecityradio Posts: 401
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    Oh get a grip. Stop eating then and lose some weight.

    come off it
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    This has very little to do with your weight and everything to do with your self-esteem. Try doing different things to work on your confidence, social skills, etc. Try talking to a professional.

    If you think like this now, you could drop all the weight, and still end up feeling miserable, like you can't talk to girls, etc.
  • beallh
    beallh Posts: 24 Member
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    lifes not fair - the sooner you realize that the better life will be.
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
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    newsflash If someone told you life was fair or easy, they lied to you.
  • Chris_58
    Chris_58 Posts: 32
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    1st of all, Welcome to MFP.
    I'm sure you made an account here because you want to change, Just like I did.

    When I was at my highest weight from age 18-21 (107kg) I also felt like you do, but then I realised that I didn't need to feel that way.
    The only thing stopping you from doing something is yourself, whether you are overweight or not, you can most certainly go to the movies or talk to people, one of my best friends is heavier than I am and has a girlfriend (whilst I don't)
    There are of course limits to that (e.g skydiving) :P

    It took me 7 months to drop 45lb (around 20kg) (in fact I'm also now light enough to go skydiving - I checked XD) and if your weight is getting you down then you're in the right place, it takes a bit of time, but it's so worth it in the end, don't give up! and treat yourself every now and again.
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
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    Life is not fair. Period. You have the power within yourself to make changes, but is up to you to make those changes because nobody else can do it for you.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    This has very little to do with your weight and everything to do with your self-esteem.

    Exactly this.

    You are suffering because you have coupled your sense of self worth and self esteem to your weight and appearance. That is unsurprising. We live in cultures obsessed with those things.

    Break the ties that bind and you will free yourself.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    Eh I have been obese my whole life pretty much, since age 15 anyway (37 now) and I have never actually suffered or been miserable. Attitude goes a long way. Playing the victim never helps. You can make small changes that will lead to success.

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