Why do we have to suffer? :'(

Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night

Tough love here: every "different" person feels this way even if not overweight/obese. You're 19 and with some effort and commitment can change all of that with the right attitude. Right now you're looking for pity and consoling.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Fit people have problems too. A lot of it has to start with you. Being heavy should not stop you from enjoying life. There are still plenty of activities you can enjoy and relationships you can have, at ANY weight. But if you feel that your weight is holding you back from the life you want to experience, put your foot down and change it. Losing weight does not need to be complicated, you do not need to deprive yourself from foods you love or miss out on occasions you enjoy. I've lost 126lbs and I eat ice cream everyday, I enjoyed the holiday treats and meals, I go to the movies and have popcorn etc. My point is that the process can be fun, and it does work, but it will not be a cure all. Enjoy the journey and your life, right now, today. And here's a great post to get you started.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

Some people can't do all kinds of things through disability or injury, and that really isn't FAIR.

But you have a chance to change this, to do something about it. It isn't always easy, but it certainly isn't impossible. lose the "it's not fair" attitude and adopt the "I'm not doing this any longer, I am going to kick butt and lose weight" attitude.

With willpower and determination you can get to a healthy weight and enjoy all those things. You can do it.

Why do you think you can't enjoy life?

You can literally do anything you want. There is no law saying that overweight people can't eat the food they want (you, and only you, chose what you put in your body), can't talk to strangers (??), or go (most) places (excluding, I don't know, maybe tiny airline seats or something). Just because you are overweight doesn't mean you need to hate and punish yourself.

I do think that discrimination against fat people is, unfortunately, considered more socially-acceptable than discrimination against most other groups, which bothers me. However, f*** the haters. Feeling bad about yourself gives them the power, and the worse you feel about yourself, the less likely you are to make positive changes.

It's great that want to lose weight (presumably--since you are on MFP), but your post concerns me that you base so much of your self-esteem on your weight. Plenty of people lose weight but still have a poor self image. This attitude, to me, seems a lot more worrisome than your weight, and something you might want to seek out some help for.

Life is pretty unfair for most of us, overweight or not, and that is OK. Welcome to the human condition.

Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night

You say you have hypothyroid and depression. Are you being treated by professionals for these conditions?

As others have said, you CAN do the things you've described. Life is tough for everyone, but I'm not going to pretend that it isn't harder being obese. So work out a plan to end your obesity. You're 19. You have plenty of time.

Oh get a grip. Stop eating then and lose some weight.

come off it

lifes not fair - the sooner you realize that the better life will be.

1st of all, Welcome to MFP.
I'm sure you made an account here because you want to change, Just like I did.

When I was at my highest weight from age 18-21 (107kg) I also felt like you do, but then I realised that I didn't need to feel that way.
The only thing stopping you from doing something is yourself, whether you are overweight or not, you can most certainly go to the movies or talk to people, one of my best friends is heavier than I am and has a girlfriend (whilst I don't)
There are of course limits to that (e.g skydiving) :P

It took me 7 months to drop 45lb (around 20kg) (in fact I'm also now light enough to go skydiving - I checked XD) and if your weight is getting you down then you're in the right place, it takes a bit of time, but it's so worth it in the end, don't give up! and treat yourself every now and again.

This has very little to do with your weight and everything to do with your self-esteem.

Exactly this.

You are suffering because you have coupled your sense of self worth and self esteem to your weight and appearance. That is unsurprising. We live in cultures obsessed with those things.

Break the ties that bind and you will free yourself.

Some people can't do all kinds of things through disability or injury, and that really isn't FAIR.

Seriously you can stop being overweight. I can't stop the fact my entire back is fused, and I have a disorder that grows tumors up and down my spinal cord. And you know what? I don't complain about it because there are people who worse off than me. Complaining and pity parties gets you no where in life.

Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night

No. Life is not fair to the people that are born with a disability that prevent them from doing things that they want. Or people that have developed disabilities from accidents later in life. Or children that are born with diseases that guarantee a short life. The list could go on and on.

What you have, is all your own doing and can be reversed with a little effort and perhaps a little help from a professional, if you are depressed.

I'd like to add, 100kg is 220lb. I started this journey weighing over 60lb more than you, and I didn't have any problems going to parties, going to see films, talking to people, or performing any other 'normal' activities. Don't blame everything on your weight.

Hope you feel better soon! You have the power to change - not only your weight, but the way you see life. Don't wait until you hit a certain weight to live your life. That is dangerous.

Life is pretty fair. We all have struggles. You are lucky enough to have a struggle that can be overcome! Again, good luck and please ignore the cranky pants.

Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night

Okay I am going to refrain from a snarky response as you are obviously upset but at the same time I will be honest...

I cannot shop like "normal" people

If this is because of your size than you just have to develop a plan to lose weight and adhere to it...will provide links at end.
If it is because of self-esteem or social anxiety I recommend some form of therapy and also exercise as I find this to be a very effective method of dealing with emotional issues.

cannot eat the food I like

Well yes you can if you develop self control particularly over portion sizes, because food is not inherently bad but diets can be...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/817188-iifym

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/872212-you-re-probably-eating-more-than-you-think

cannot go to movies or go partying

You could if you wanted to but I reiterate this is a symptom of your low self-esteem and recommend taking the steps necessary to improve it.

I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places.

You are still quite young and have plenty of time to change but the best time to start is now, yes you may have poor self esteem but you are not the only one. It may seem difficult at the moment to change but if you are committed nothing you have written about is unchangeable.

ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.

These comments make me think that you no doubt are suffering but have a small window to the vast amount of suffering occurring right now in the world, I get it you have low self esteem from being overweight, well do something about it...at least you have an opportunity to change your life many do not.



Helpful links...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1069278-acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

Skinny people must have fast metabolisms right?

Think again: http://youtu.be/eTr1JUvEiUU

Still convinced your problem is a slow metabolism?

You don't: http://youtu.be/KA9AdlhB18o

OP I wish you the best of luck but you have to try and stop being a victim or as it says on my wall

"Just another person trying to break free of a trap dug and designed by my own two hands."

I learned I could live more than one life in a lifetime.

“Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.” ― Bill Hicks

ETA: Could probably remove the word "can't" from you post and replace it with "won't".

edit / not worth it