Why do we have to suffer? :'(
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Because humanity has spent all of its history killing each other, stealing from each other, and making up imaginary anthropomorphic beings, often then used to justify said killing and stealing. We have not spent enough time studying and fixing our mortal, fragile, disease prone selves yet. But if we don't nuke ourselves back to the stone age, perhaps someday we will.
This post brought to you by someone who hopes every young person that reads it will aspire to work in the science and medical fields. Get to it! And if you're fat, don't let it stop you, make it motivate you.0 -
Why do we have to suffer?
We don't. This is self inflicted behavior and it needs to stop. You are not a victim. You are a person who cannot stand to live another day feeling sorry for yourself. You find every piece of you that you find redeeming and you push forward and make changes. Either to your inner self or outer. You have to fuel yourself on dreams and positive energy to make it out of the darkness. You have to believe that there is more to life than loathing. You can do anything you want. You're only bound by the chains you create. Break them.0 -
I am sorry sweetie...you are definitely angry about being obese and now that you have let out your anger at being obese, channel your anger and become even more focused on meeting the challenge of making yourself 'healthy'. If you haven't already, work hard at making healthy dietary decisions. Make yourself walk and then run and then sprint. If it was easy, everybody would be doing it. Since it's not, only the winners will risk to the task. Your call.0
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A lot of advice here is worth taking on board, but please ignore the harshness of some posts don't let it get you more down.
I don't have a lot to add except, because I'm a mum, and my son is the same age as you, I want to just give you a hug and say 'believe in yourself, you CAN change this!'
(((hugs)))0 -
two things you need to learn, one of which has already been stated;
1. Life isn't fair
2. People are *kitten*
what you have to do is judge for yourself, not cause someone called you a name or are trying to bring you down. You have to make that decision when is enough enough. For me it was @42 years old and wanting to play basketball better.
maybe use what you cant do, shop for "normal" clothes. set small goals, not unrealistic ones.
(these are arbitrary solutions/goals and not aimed directly at you but in general a starting point)
first month cut out whatever is in your diet that isnt good for you.
take up walking - first time go for 10 minutes without a break, 2nd time 12, 3rd time 15 minutes
maybe do a light jog for 5 minutes.
join a gym
whatever it is you decide it has to come from you, not from someone else or done to please someone else. it's very easy to be told this but until you hit that moment where it actually makes sense your life is not going to change.0 -
Wishing the OP the best in the future. Depression and medical issues are not fun to deal with.
Take care and good luck.0 -
Hi, I won't harsh on ya, but I won't coddle you either.
I've got depression too, but thankfully I've had my thyroid tested a few times and it's all good. But I still have a pretty slow metabolism because of the depression. Anyway, hypothyroid doesn't make it impossible to be a healthy weight, it just means you have to work more at it. It may not be fair, but we live in the world of reality. Wishing it were otherwise accomplishes nothing.
Now that you've gotten your rant off your chest (I get it, I really do!), what are you going to DO about it? You only get one go-round at this life, so make the most of it!
Are your thyroid symptoms adequately controlled? If not, talk to your endocrinologist about getting your dosage adjusted until it is! Be pushy about this; your numbers may be "fine" but the symptoms not well-controlled. Nobody is going to be a strong advocate for your health better than you, so get after it! Same goes for the depression. Are you taking an anti-depressant? Are you in counseling? Some people have really intractable depression that takes a *lot* of managing, even if the severity of the depression is mild (like me-- meds, counseling, vitamin supplements, light therapy for seasonal depression even though I live in the US south, healthy balanced diet *and* exercise!). Just because one thing does not work does not mean you get to just give up. You have to keep working at it until you find the combination that works for you and helps you be functional and the best *you* you can be.
You don't have to fix this all in one shot, so don't get overwhelmed! Just do one thing to make your life a little better today. Keep it up until it's a habit, and then do one more thing. It will all add up eventually, and you will be amazed at the transformation!
Send me a FR if you like.0 -
This will sound harsh, but life isn't fair. The sooner you learn to accept that fact, the sooner you can learn to enjoy the good moments in life.0
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Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night
I'm not going to be harsh, because I understand what you are trying to say. It is frustrating. It sucks not to be able to walk right into a store and find something, anything, in your size. It sucks that you can't go out and enjoy a slice of pizza without people giving you the "this is why you are fat" looks. It sucks not to feel included. It sucks not to be able to do everyday things because your weight makes it difficult. It sucks to feel like you can't talk to the opposite sex because you'll automatically be put in the "friend zone" or the person will act repulsed that "someone like you" spoke to them. It sucks to know that overweight people seem to be one of the only groups in this country that people seem to think it is ok to treat with disdain.
So, you're right. It's not fair, and it does suck. And it's ok to be frustrated and a little angry. And I think we all know that in letting this rant out, you're also expressing the anger and frustration you feel with yourself right now. And that's ok.
The important thing is, you're here. And this place is full of people who are living proof that it doesn't have to be this way for you. It's not going to be easy, and you're going to have good days and bad days. The good news is that if you read the site and talk to people in the community, you learn how to power through the bad days. Losing weight isn't going to solve all the problems in your life, but you can do this. And maybe once you see yourself hitting your goals here, tackling some of your other goals won't seem as daunting.0 -
Hope you feel better soon! You have the power to change - not only your weight, but the way you see life. Don't wait until you hit a certain weight to live your life. That is dangerous.
Life is pretty fair. We all have struggles. You are lucky enough to have a struggle that can be overcome! Again, good luck and please ignore the cranky pants trying to give you "tough love" (insults).
Exactly!
A young 19 yr old with depression and medical issues and everyone jumps on them! Shameful!!!! Wow!!!!
Talk to your doctor to get your depression and hypothyroidism under control so you can get your emotions in check.
Not everyone here is cruel so keep your head up, keep pushing through everyday, and realize that although you feel terrible now, it will past.
Its hard but you have to make the first step. Only you can do it.
Good luck hon, and keep your head way up to the sky!
I agree with this advice. I have low thyroid, too. Hypothyroidism can cause symptoms of depression, too. If you are still feeling depressed, especially if you are already taking medication and still feel this way, you really need to go back to your doctor.
When I was your age, I was awkward around the opposite sex, too. It's normal! Lots of people are this way. But you have to practice the changes you want in order to get better. And how do you practice? By doing. You have to practice talking to girls. You have to practice eating a proper intake.
My best advice is probably easier said than done for you--START NEW CONVERSATIONS WITH YOURSELF! You have to practice telling yourself you are totally worth it. Your whole life is ahead of you. Get help with your issues asap.
I wish you the best and am sorry if I sound too preachy. It's the mother in me and I can't help it. :flowerforyou:
edited for cut and paste error.0 -
I don't know all, but one thing (for me) is true, the last thing I need when I'm feeling "down" is to be "dumped" on even more.
I'm saddened that the majority of the posts are sounding a bit judgmental???? YA Think????
The way it works for me when I'm struggling either with food or life,,,,,,,
be negative towards me and you weaken me even further so that the chances I run to food are increased.
If you are human and want to do some good, be kind, loving, understanding towards others who are struggling with their weight/life.
Like I already said, I'm saddened by this thread
and to you OP (opening poster), hang in there you are most certainly worth it!
My advice to you, start by forgiving yourself for everything you think is wrong with you or life. Start saying nice things about yourself on a daily basis, oh and ignore anyone who is throwing negative comments your way. Anyone who comes down on you is just letting off their own anger/negative feelings, no reflection on you whatsoever.
Good luck
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ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
Is this for real? You are lucky enough to be born into a society where you get to have the CHOICE of eating to obesity while the world is filled with a couple of billion hungry people - and you think YOU have it rough?
Seriously?
:noway:
Get some perspective, realize you are incredibly fortunate to have ownership over your own body, and start making some positive choices for yourself.
You can do this!0 -
Hello MFP,
ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair
Fixed that for you.
Life isn't fair.
And there is always someone in a far worse position than you, so count your blessings and consider yourself lucky.
The harder you work, the luckier you'll be.0 -
Hello MFP,
I am really sad right now. I am crying. I was talking to my mom and suddenly I realized something... WHY? why do obese people have to suffer? Why?
I cannot shop like "normal" people, cannot eat the food I like, cannot go to movies or go partying. No this is not a rant. I am sure you can understand my problems.. our problems. It is really disheartening that we cannot enjoy life as other people. I am still young, I am 19, and I weigh more than 100 Kg! I cannot perform normal activities like my friends do. Can't talk to girls. Can't talk to strangers -thanks low self esteem- or go to places. ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
I know this post will be buried after sometime... and I am somewhat sure nobody would read it given the sheer number of new posts on MFP but I really wanted to let out my feelings.
Good night
I have been categorized as OBESE myself in the past but I never blamed it on life. I blamed it on ME and my POOR CHOICES which included eating like a bear and not working out. When YOU accept responsibility for YOUR life and choices you will enjoy it more. Stop trying to blame it on something else. If you do, YOU will never be able to control it. Now get off the pitty train and join the many of us who are trying to reach our goals and who will support you along the way. Make up your mind know you can do it!0 -
Congratulations! You have arrived!!!
I can see that you are NOW in a place to take charge of your life!
Its up to you, and you can do it!
You sound just like me before I lost the weight. In tears, right after the Holidays, I mindlessly signed up to Weight Watchers. That was over two years ago, and I love the transformation thats has taken place in my life.
I also struggle with depression. Yes go to the Doc, but remember statistically speaking, exercise is the best "med" out there for depression. So find one you like, and go for it!!! Get a workout buddy to help motivate you.
Your diet will also help. Once your start eating more fruits and veggies, the inflamation that is weighing you down, will leave your body and mind, and you'll feel so much better. In the beginning I was sceptical about eating that much Rabbit Food, the gas was almost unbareable and it took months for my body to adjust. But now I crave that kind of food. Find some healthy websites like SkinnyTaste.com and try your hand at being your own chef!
And finally, find support. Whether its online or at a Weight Watcher meeting, this aspect of weight loss is a must. I found an on-line group of WL individuals and we chat almost every day. They keep me accountable. Also DEMAND support from your family. To succeed, your environment must be clean of all junk food. After two years of arguing with my family, we finally have rules about what comes into the house. If they want to eat junk, thats fine. They just have to do it elsewhere.
Good luck out there. I really think you are ready. Gather your courage and be fearless about what you want your life to look like in a year. Yes it'll take patience, so just get through one day (or hour) at a time, and I can guarantee you will see the results you want.
GO FOR IT!!!!!0 -
newsflash If someone told you life was fair or easy, they lied to you.
Yup. I can't go shopping for clothes, because I don't have any money. Some people have money but feel they can't shop for clothes because they are not happy with themselves. We all have our challenges darlin'.
Oh, and I can't eat the food I want to eat either, if I want to keep looking like I do in my profile pic.0 -
Suffering is, honestly, part of the human condition. We have to suffer in order to learn. If everything in our lives was super easy and great, we wouldn't know it was easy and great, because we would have nothing to compare it to. By suffering, and wanting the suffering to stop, we find the drive to change our lives. You've taken the first step - realizing you have a problem. Now it's time to make some changes. Start making good decision about your diet, and then start exercising as your body will tolerate. You'll start losing weight. Keep your doctor in the loop, as that will be essential if you have hypothyroidism. Also see out counseling for depression. all of these steps will lead you into a journey that will eventually lead you to a happier place. You will look back and realize how much stronger you are for the suffering you experienced.0
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Please go buy a one way plane ticket to a third world country.
If you ever make it back then feel free to tell us just how unfair your life is then, most of us might actually give 2 craps then.0 -
Ok.... so..... what are going to DO about it?? Decide, commit, succed. It won`t change if YOU don`t change it.0
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ITS JUST NOT FAIR!
Life is not fair to us overweight people.
Is this for real? You are lucky enough to be born into a society where you get to have the CHOICE of eating to obesity while the world is filled with a couple of billion hungry people - and you think YOU have it rough?
Seriously?
:noway:
Get some perspective, realize you are incredibly fortunate to have ownership over your own body, and start making some positive choices for yourself.
You can do this!
^^ Agreed. You can do it! But you have to work for it.0 -
I'm tall and skinny and still can't buy clothes. There is nothing for either extreme.0
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Oh get a grip. Stop eating then and lose some weight.
come off it
Agreed. I'm not into coddling people, and my many friends on this site know that I will love them with a tough love if need be and will say whatever needs to be said to them. But when someone comes on here who is CRYING over something and mentions that they suffer from depression in their profile - BE CAREFUL HOW YOU RESPOND TO THEM. These are human beings, people. We don't know if this person is on the edge of doing away with themselves, for example. It could be quite serious. In these situations we should follow the example of the folks on here who have been kind, compassionate, and even-toned and yet still spoke the *truth* to this person. You can do both. You don't have to be a douche about it, sheesh.
If someone is seriously depressed about it, then it would seem bizarre and reckless to post opinions on a public forum where anybody can publish anything. Since my post, which was removed, there have been harsher posts on here as well. What I said was harsh but blunt without trying to be abusive or insulting, which is the worst case scenario you could get from posting such an attention grabbing post like this. It is at best over the top and at worst selfish. Many people on here are overweight but talk about it in a dignified manner, where they are depressed about it or dont let it affect them. There is more than one way to skin a cat.
Besides, being overweight is not unfair. Suffering from cancer is, losing a loved one is, etc, but not something which you are fully in control of so if you are going to be all me, me, me about it then why should you expect empathy?0 -
When I was 19 I was, to be blunt, fat as ****. I was able to socialize, interact with girls, party. I was fat, but I didn't give up on my life. You shouldn't feel pity about yourself. You need to understand that you are still young and can change your life around pretty quickly. Being fat is not the end of the world. In 9 months you can lose 50-70+ pounds if you put in serious effort weight training and eating healthy. Don't make excuses. Don't blame society for how you feel. Don't say, "Woe is me for being fat!"
You can do it. You don't need to be the fat kid your whole life. It can be fixed in less than a year. You are 19, you are young and stronger than you think.0 -
:flowerforyou: Best of luck to you OP I hope you can make some changes in your life.0
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you can lose the weight
focus, be strong and tough
how bad do you want it>
go conquer!0 -
Seriously.Please go buy a one way plane ticket to a third world country.
If you ever make it back then feel free to tell us just how unfair your life is then, most of us might actually give 2 craps then.
OP needs to watch this link http://elitedaily.com/news/world/kids-third-world-countries-read-first-world-problems-suddenly-dont-feel-like-problems-video/
Bah I forget how to add a link.0 -
If someone is seriously depressed about it, then it would seem bizarre and reckless to post opinions on a public forum where anybody can publish anything.
It's a free country and they can post whatever they like be it bizarre and reckless (which are subjective adjectives you are personally ascribing due to your bias, BTW) or not. You make it sound as if this person deserves rude treatment simply because they chose to share their feelings in a way that you personally don't care for. They don't.Since my post, which was removed, there have been harsher posts on here as well. What I said was harsh but blunt without trying to be abusive or insulting, which is the worst case scenario you could get from posting such an attention grabbing post like this.
Sorry, but "Oh get a grip. Stop eating then and lose some weight." is universally insulting. And again you blame the OP for your insults, as if they "invited it". Nope. Not to mention that you assume this person is just trying to get attention, which is sad. Just an observation, but you seem extremely cynical. Why, I wonder?It is at best over the top and at worst selfish.
And yet Compassionate people are able to see beyond the surface when it comes to hurting people. The face of a thing may appear selfish. But the real issue runs deeper. It takes patience, kindness, and compassion to dig into that and really help a person. Because digging into a real issue is helpful. Judging and smacking down, is not.Many people on here are overweight but talk about it in a dignified manner, where they are depressed about it or dont let it affect them.
Good for them. However, compassionate people are not into comparisons and forcing everyone into one mold about how they're "supposed" to act when they're hurting. Helpful people are into seeing an individual and helping them through whatever they've got going on, specifically.Besides, being overweight is not unfair. Suffering from cancer is, losing a loved one is, etc, but not something which you are fully in control of so if you are going to be all me, me, me about it then why should you expect empathy?
Please note that 99.9% of the people on here (including the compassionate and helpful ones) have all agreed with the 1st half of that sentence. The difference is that, again, helpful people see beyond the "me, me, me", dig deeper, and try to help the person see the error of their ways with empathetic language. That may include tough love, yes. But it's all in *how* you say it. I'm simply suggesting there's a better way to speak to hurting people and encouraging folks on here to practice it.
Thanks0 -
P.S. - Sorry, OP, that I and this other poster hijacked your thread for a moment there. I wasn't necessarily interested in getting into a tit-for-tat, off-subject discussion, but it seemed important to address this particular issue as it seems to be such a common thing on these boards for people to be unhelpful. Thanks.0
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My legs are really short, my pants drag on the ground and they get holes in them. I have to buy new pants ALL the time. Life's not fair for, myself and all other short legged people out there.0
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I know what you mean. But it's not necessarily a "overweight" person issue, its more of a self esteem issue. I'm not morbidly obese but there have been times when at parties I've felt weird like I didn't fit in or anything (only because I was wearing more conservative clothing instead of more flashy revealing clothing like other girls) but the thing is as you get older (well idk how old you are but let's go with as you mature more) you have to/ you learn to accept yourself. You're (hopefully) on this site so you can get your health back on track and lose some weight, not for others but for yourself, to feel good about yourself. The only thing stopping you now from going out with friends and doing things or shopping for clothes is yourself. Just as there are shops for women who are overweight (Avenue, Lane Bryant and others) there have to be places for guys to shop at too. (I saw you wrote mum so I'm not sure of shops in your neck of the woods. But anyways, good luck.0
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