Parents who have lost a child.

Options
1246

Replies

  • blably
    blably Posts: 490 Member
    Options
    it will be 4 years in February for me. the pain doesnt get any smaller, but i do believe you kinda learn to live with it.

    i am sorry that happened to you, loss of a child is somethin i wouldnt wish my worst enemy.

    if you ever need someone to talk to, im a pretty good listener, just PM me.

    stay strong girl!
  • jmcreynolds91
    jmcreynolds91 Posts: 777 Member
    Options
    I appreciate that. Every single morning is a battle to relearn she isn't here. I miss her so much
  • jmcreynolds91
    jmcreynolds91 Posts: 777 Member
    Options
    Thanks to everyone for sharing their losses. It means alot
  • redladywitch
    redladywitch Posts: 799 Member
    Options
    I'm so sorry you lost your daughter. I hear your words and I am numb. I have experienced this loss in my life also. Anniversary dates are still difficult for me. I don't know if it gets easier...I just don't know.

    I volunteer with Hospice now. Contact Hospice and see if they can offer you some supportive services. They might have some ideas and a list of what you can expect as you grieve...although everyone grieves differently. Be gentle with yourself right now.

    I wish I could hold you in my arms. Please keep reaching out. Do what you can each day to take care of yourself.
  • jmcreynolds91
    jmcreynolds91 Posts: 777 Member
    Options
    Will look into it. Thank you very much for your advice. It is not any easier without my sweet girl. I hope and pray I will find peace.
  • debsanders58
    debsanders58 Posts: 23
    Options
    I lost my daughter, Brandis, 14 yrs ago when she was 17, in a car accident. I can tell you that time does help you to be able to live with it. I would also tell you that one thing that really helped me & my husband was joining a support group for bereaved parents. It was so good to be able to meet with other parents who knew how we were feeling. No one else could really understand . . . all people have suffered losses, but none is like the loss of a child!:cry: I lost my dad when I was just 13, but that was nothing compared to losing my child! The other thing that saved me from wanting to die was getting back in church & returning to the faith that I was brought up in. Turning back to God brought me a peace that I could find nowhere else. Even though I still suffered deep grief, there was an underlying peace. The peace of knowing that Brandy was in Heaven & if I wanted to see her again I needed to accept the gift of salvation that Jesus offered. Peace is the thing that bereaved parents seek the most. I know how your mind is always filled with thoughts of your child & it's hard to think of anything else. Don't push yourself into doing too much over the holidays . . . now is a time you need to focus on what you need to stay healthy & alive. Let your husband help you & you be there for him, too. Cling to each other! I will be praying for you!
    God Bless,
    Deb :flowerforyou:
  • workhardandbenice
    workhardandbenice Posts: 2 Member
    Options
    I am so sorry that you must walk this road. It can be dark, twisty, and really, there is no road map. I lost my 9-year-old in March 2012, six days after she was diagnosed with leukemia. It hit fast and hard. We had two different doctors tell us it was a viral infection. A third doctor ran a blood test. Twelve days separated our first ER visit and my daughter's death. So, like you, there was absolute disbelief. How could this happen?

    Like others have said, it is so very important for you to find some support, whether it be Compassionate Friends or another parent support group. Talking to those who have been there has been good for me (but also hard at the same time). The pain never completely goes away, which, I know is hard to hear. It won't always be so raw, but you will always feel some version of it.

    It is also so important for you to continue to talk about your child and to encourage others to do so. I think it's great that you're journaling. Ive been writing ever since my daughter died. I've also done a lot of reading since then. The pile of books by my night stand is ridiculous, but again, knowing that others have walked this road and survived such tragedy helps me realize that maybe I can too.

    I think this is the first time I've ever posted on here, but felt compelled to do so. Feel free to message me if you'd like. Again, I'm so sorry...
  • jmcreynolds91
    jmcreynolds91 Posts: 777 Member
    Options
    I am so sorry that you must walk this road. It can be dark, twisty, and really, there is no road map. I lost my 9-year-old in March 2012, six days after she was diagnosed with leukemia. It hit fast and hard. We had two different doctors tell us it was a viral infection. A third doctor ran a blood test. Twelve days separated our first ER visit and my daughter's death. So, like you, there was absolute disbelief. How could this happen?

    Like others have said, it is so very important for you to find some support, whether it be Compassionate Friends or another parent support group. Talking to those who have been there has been good for me (but also hard at the same time). The pain never completely goes away, which, I know is hard to hear. It won't always be so raw, but you will always feel some version of it.

    It is also so important for you to continue to talk about your child and to encourage others to do so. I think it's great that you're journaling. Ive been writing ever since my daughter died. I've also done a lot of reading since then. The pile of books by my night stand is ridiculous, but again, knowing that others have walked this road and survived such tragedy helps me realize that maybe I can too.

    I think this is the first time I've ever posted on here, but felt compelled to do so. Feel free to message me if you'd like. Again, I'm so sorry...

    wow, I am SO SO sorry to hear about your daughter. My 14 yr old sister, who was also down syndrome had leukemia and relapsed twice with it. She had battled so hard and it got the best of her. It doesn't make since for them to be taken so quick and sudden. My rylie was so healthy and perfect and should have been saved. I also find alot of help with reading bible and my books I have gotten. Me and my husband have recently gotten back into my church and I am finding that to be help to me. It is so helpful to talk to people that have been through the same thing. I have not gotten into a group, but I would love to talk to people that have been through the same thing. Thank you so much for replying.
  • jmcreynolds91
    jmcreynolds91 Posts: 777 Member
    Options
    I lost my daughter, Brandis, 14 yrs ago when she was 17, in a car accident. I can tell you that time does help you to be able to live with it. I would also tell you that one thing that really helped me & my husband was joining a support group for bereaved parents. It was so good to be able to meet with other parents who knew how we were feeling. No one else could really understand . . . all people have suffered losses, but none is like the loss of a child!:cry: I lost my dad when I was just 13, but that was nothing compared to losing my child! The other thing that saved me from wanting to die was getting back in church & returning to the faith that I was brought up in. Turning back to God brought me a peace that I could find nowhere else. Even though I still suffered deep grief, there was an underlying peace. The peace of knowing that Brandy was in Heaven & if I wanted to see her again I needed to accept the gift of salvation that Jesus offered. Peace is the thing that bereaved parents seek the most. I know how your mind is always filled with thoughts of your child & it's hard to think of anything else. Don't push yourself into doing too much over the holidays . . . now is a time you need to focus on what you need to stay healthy & alive. Let your husband help you & you be there for him, too. Cling to each other! I will be praying for you!
    God Bless,
    Deb :flowerforyou:

    Thank you for your kind words. I am leaning onto God in the horrible time. Every day is so hard.
  • disneygallagirl
    disneygallagirl Posts: 515 Member
    Options
    So sorry...I can't think of any words to take away your pain ... sending hugs. Like so many have suggested, get help and support to grieve and heal for yourself and your family.
  • sweetpea129
    sweetpea129 Posts: 755 Member
    Options
    Oh my goodness I am so very sorry. Truly sorry. I cannot even begin to imagine the depth of your pain. You are all in my thoughts ((((huge hug))))


    I have never lost a child. My best friend died when we were teenagers in a car accident. Her parents turned to the church. Its been 12 years now and they seem to be dealing as best as they can. The church really helped them.

    Another one of my friends died when we were 14 from meningitis. Her mom struggled bad. Sat in her room and left it untouched for years, withdrew from her 2 younger children and was like a zombie day to day for many years. She eventually sought out help through counseling.

    I think its all about your support system. I truly hope you have an amazing one. And if not, please know that we are all here at MFP :flowerforyou:
  • tristansmommyx3
    tristansmommyx3 Posts: 19 Member
    Options
    Its horrible but amazing at the same time to have this many angel mom's and dad's. Its horrible because of what we have all went through, but amazing because we are able to get together and support each other in more ways then just weightloss. What we have went through takes all of our strength and I believe that if we can get through that, we can get through anything.!!

    My little boy would be 2 1/2 years old, and passed when he was 5 days old in 2011. I have struggled everyday since then but I know that I am a strong woman and will prevail. Lets all lean on each, there is a REASON we have been put through what we have, and now we have a DUTY to help those in the same position.
  • NoMoreStretchyPants
    NoMoreStretchyPants Posts: 307
    Options
    My heart is broken for you. I am shattered reading this. I am so very sorry for your loss. You won't get over it in as much as you will think about your daughter every day. But one day, it will get a little easier, and a little easier. I promise you that. I wish I could give you a big hug right now. It's important for you and your husband to support each other. Be there for each other. It's going to be easier to fight and maybe shed blame. Don't do that. You need to stick together.
  • jmcreynolds91
    jmcreynolds91 Posts: 777 Member
    Options
    I agree as it is so awesome to have so much support from you all. I also know that if I somehow get through this, I will be able to get through anything. It is so helpful to have all of your replies. Me and my husband are doing good with it all. We have gotten much closer and refuse to let this tear us apart. We miss our sweet baby so much. My heart aches every single day and I wish to hold her and squeeze her tight like I always did. The pain everyday is so hard. Sometimes I feel like this is what life has dealt me and I have to deal with it now, and other days I feel like I am just going to die from all this pain. Sometimes it feels like it is so overwhelming. Thanks again for all of your support.
  • dward2011
    dward2011 Posts: 416 Member
    Options
    I delivered our stillborn little girl on February 6, 2014. The heartbreak and devastation is tremendous. My husband and I are supporting one another, but it does help me to hear from other women that have been here. It is a terrible club to be a member of... but here I am. I cannot imagine next week or next month... sometimes even tomorrow. The pain is like nothing I have ever experienced. My husband is the only reason that I keep going now. I am back here on MFP to lose the pregnancy weight... much sooner than I anticipated and without the joy of my daughter to motivate me.
  • PinkyFett
    PinkyFett Posts: 842 Member
    Options
    I'm so sorry! I can't imagine. I'm bawling after reading that. Makes me want to wake up my kids and hug them.
  • 4realrose8
    4realrose8 Posts: 117 Member
    Options
    I'm so sorry for your loss and for all the loses of children in this thread. The pain is almost unbearable, but know that prayers, love and compassion surround you during your grief.

    Please click the following website for a wonderful support group called Infants Remembered in Silence. (IRIS). They are based in Minnesota, but maybe they can help you, too.

    http://www.irisremembers.com/welcome.cfm
  • TXEXrunner
    TXEXrunner Posts: 178 Member
    Options
    So very, very sorry for your loss. I can only offer my prayers for you and your family. May God help guide you through this very terrible time. Thank you for sharing your story. Yes I will hold my son (and wife) much longer tonight. God bless.
  • HRLaurie614
    HRLaurie614 Posts: 260 Member
    Options
    I am so sorry. Sending you hugs and strength.
  • LawRoc
    LawRoc Posts: 20
    Options
    I am so sorry for your loss.

Categories