All or Nothing Mentality?

FindingMyFit2014
FindingMyFit2014 Posts: 14
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi!
Does anyone else struggle with "all or nothing" thinking or the "what the hell" effect when it comes to the diet mentaily? I allow myself to eat whatever I want, but I still have these moments. How did you overcome this? Does anyone else struggle with this?

Thanks for the comments :)
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Replies

  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Here is a good article that I read about it recently: http://www.burnthefatblog.com/the-bad-attitude-that-kills-diet-and-exercise-programs.php
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Sometimes we all let the "shoulds" get in the way of the "dids." I try to reframe things in terms of "better than"

    ...5 minutes of exercise is better than 0.
    ...3000 calories is better than 3500 calories.
    ...maintaining is better than gaining.
  • jennegan1
    jennegan1 Posts: 677 Member
    When I first joined I kinda went in with that attitude...But then I thought do I really wanna give up on everything that I like to eat or drink and I said no not really...Just cut back on alot of what I eat normally with smaller portions and now I plan on doing one goal at a time. Starting with eating at a deficit and doing cardio. As I get closer to my goal I plan on doing more strength training
  • judyde
    judyde Posts: 401 Member
    Sometimes we all let the "shoulds" get in the way of the "dids." I try to reframe things in terms of "better than"

    ...5 minutes of exercise is better than 0.
    ...3000 calories is better than 3500 calories.
    ...maintaining is better than gaining.
    ^^ Exactly! I find that MFP helps me keep going, since even if I go over my calorie goal by 400 calories, I'm still at a deficit. I am set up for a 500 calorie deficit to lose 1 pound a week. So even "failing" is still moving me in a forward direction toward my goal.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Sometimes we all let the "shoulds" get in the way of the "dids." I try to reframe things in terms of "better than"

    ...5 minutes of exercise is better than 0.
    ...3000 calories is better than 3500 calories.
    ...maintaining is better than gaining.
    ^^ Exactly! I find that MFP helps me keep going, since even if I go over my calorie goal by 400 calories, I'm still at a deficit. I am set up for a 500 calorie deficit to lose 1 pound a week. So even "failing" is still moving me in a forward direction toward my goal.

    Totally this!
  • FindingMyFit2014
    FindingMyFit2014 Posts: 14
    All of these suggestions are great! I find myself easily discouraged because I am trying to maintain my weight so when I go over, I feel like it is automatic fat gain!
    Any other thoughts are welcome :) I appreciate the responses.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    All of these suggestions are great! I find myself easily discouraged because I am trying to maintain my weight so when I go over, I feel like it is automatic fat gain!
    Any other thoughts are welcome :) I appreciate the responses.

    Have you checked out GoKaleo's blog?

    Really, if you have an active lifestyle, any random overages will wash out over the year. It's the habits that either save you or bite you in the butt.
  • jhbruiser
    jhbruiser Posts: 6 Member
    I'm still battling with this myself. I changed my weight loss goal to .5 lbs a week instead of 1 lb b/c of it, actually. Every time I'd go over, I'd figure what's the point of trying to keep it down now? This way, it's a bit harder to go over (although I managed to today) and I know there's no wiggle room if I do go over. One day at a time!
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Great reading material:

    http://body-improvements.com/2013/05/24/undiet-your-diet/

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1122891-9-reasons-fat-loss-is-always-slower-than-you-d-like

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1105036-article-on-flexible-dieting-by-armi-legge?page=1#posts-17068746
  • callas444
    callas444 Posts: 261 Member
    One thing that helped me was to not allow myself any "cheat days". Instead, I have an occasional "cheat meal". The rest of the day has to be healthy, but for one meal I indulge. In the past, cheat days have become cheat weekends, cheat weeks, etc. One binge would lead to the next. When I started MFP, I only promised myself to eat smaller portions of my normal food and to cut back on sweets. I have gotten better and better at changing my attitude to embrace healthier habits. People will argue about cheat days, but you have to do what works for you.
  • FindingMyFit2014
    FindingMyFit2014 Posts: 14
    Thanks for all the suggestions and comments. I love the cheat MEAL, idea rather than a cheat DAY! Any others?
  • sensored44
    sensored44 Posts: 45 Member
    That's an awesome way to view our 'fails"... Swiped!
  • twixlepennie
    twixlepennie Posts: 1,074 Member
    Sometimes we all let the "shoulds" get in the way of the "dids." I try to reframe things in terms of "better than"

    ...5 minutes of exercise is better than 0.
    ...3000 calories is better than 3500 calories.
    ...maintaining is better than gaining.

    +1
  • cherwood
    cherwood Posts: 4
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    Last year I lost 20 pounds. I kept if off for about 5 months then I hurt my neck and couldn't exercise enough. I lost it mentally so here I am again. I waited 5 weeks for even one cheat meal then allowed myself one cheat meal a week. That worked quickly. You are so right about cheat days, they turn into weekends then weeks. That's how I gained it back.
  • GummyHuman
    GummyHuman Posts: 193 Member
    I always had that "what the hell" mentality my whole life until I had a scary doctor visit in September. That was enough motivation to keep me going until I actually started seeing results. Now that I've seen results, and I realize it's possible to see results, I am just motivated to see more and better results!

    Not sure how long this wave of motivation will last but I plan to ride it as long as I can.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    The only thing that worked for me was time. It took a long time for me to start having a better relationship with food. Nobody can be perfect. Just do the best you can and try to make "your best" a little better each day.
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
    Hi!
    Does anyone else struggle with "all or nothing" thinking or the "what the hell" effect when it comes to the diet mentaily? I allow myself to eat whatever I want, but I still have these moments. How did you overcome this? Does anyone else struggle with this?

    Thanks for the comments :)

    I had enough of being fat and exhausted and refused to buy into my own excuses.

    I overcame the all or nothing attitude by slowly adding positive things to my day and allowing myself to be happy about these little steps, things like walking to work instead of driving (round trip it's just one mile). Give yourself a high-five for adding quality of life to your day. Every step is a plus. They eventually add up to a better lifestyle.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    I still revert back to this at times even though I know it is not logical.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    I struggle with it. One thing that helps me is to remember the math of it all. Our bodies don't work under 'black or white' conditions. If we overate by 300 calories that's 1/3 as bad as by 900 calories, whereas the 'black or white' thinker just sees both as FAIL. Our bodies operate 100% in the gray areas so it's good to try to get your mind to think in those terms.

    I used to think of all the dieting I'd done, all the workouts, and how it still hadn't gotten me to my ideal body, so it was all worthless. I have to remind myself that without all that hard work, I'd probably weigh a hundred pounds more than I do so it was totally worth it.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Yes, I think most people experience this and it is a major reason why most diets fail miserably over the long term.

    It is indicative of a "deprivation" mindset and sets up an astonishingly frustrating "diet / gain / diet / gain" cycle. The way to get passed it is to develop a healthy conscious relationship with your eating which you can sustain over the long term and which replaces your old unconscious associations with food which triggers you to eat all the things.

    It's about psychology as much as physiology.

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