All or Nothing Mentality?

I've developed my diet philosophy slowly (and some of it stolen from others along the way) but reviewing it and keeping it in mind has kept me on track. Also, when I started I didn't have a plan exactly this time. I just started logging. Then looking for tiny tweaks I could make comfortably. I've figured out failure isn't failure, it's just a speed bump. I just start again - and try to figure out what caused it and if I could have done better (realistically).

I get it - I am very OCD - I pursue perfection and then give up in many things. It's the vicious cycle of perfection. Then one day I just decided to just log and "not look at my feet." I said children first start to walk and when they look down at their feet and realize it they fall. I am just not looking down. I don't think about it, I don't let others opinions matter too much (cause some on here have a LOT of opinions and perfection issues), and I just keep moving forward in small choices I make every day for better or worse. I don't even set goals of how many pounds - that implies I'll "crank it up" or hold to a perfect plan - and then off I'll go running from it when I couldn't do it. I limit my goal setting - that's probably been my biggest victory. I listed some milestones on my page - but when I reach one - who knows. Doesn't matter when.

What first did me in was when my schedule at work went kablooey. I realized I couldn't do it all right then. I asked for help online - got some good advice and some useless "you have to power through" advice. And I dropped myself to maintenance for that time period. I only gained a couple pounds and then when I could I resumed again. I just decided better to hold my place than give up. And it worked like a charm. The stress even reduced on me right then. THAT was one of my biggest AHA moments so far. That and letting perfection go. There is no end to perfection unless you have a lot of rules and rules get hard to keep up with and meet when life gets in the way.

I have also banned regret. I just refuse to apologize, call it a cheat, be remorseful or kill myself with exercise over a cupcake. Cupcakes gonna happen. I am not physically able to do great amounts of exercise to "punish" myself and I don't want to. I just analyze the cupcake moments, what happened, why did I want it, was it worth it, could I have done a little better?

Anyway my philosophy from my profile:

I've learned 1. It's all about choices. It's not a big picture thing - it's about one choice and then another. So if you make a bad one choice - make the next one better. 2. Sometimes I drop to maintenance to maintain my sanity so if you slip, just don't slip clear over the ravine past maintenance. 3. If you do, in fact, slip clear over the ravine, so what, just resume better choices. That's resiliency winning over quitting. One bad choice, one bad day, one bad week doesn't mean you quit. 4. Perfection is not going to happen and can be self defeating. I'll take progress over perfection any day.

If this sounds familiar or helpful - or you just want to you can friend me.

I used to be like this, but I think it takes time and practice and a change in a way you think. Once you accept that this is your life now, that is you will always strive to be healthy and fit, then there is no black and white, it's a decision, and one you stick to, no matter what happens on the scale/ in life. Sure you will have days you eat more, but you'll also have days you eat less, and that's ok and perfectly normal.

In contrast if your goal is a number on a scale, then that's when the all or nothing thinking comes in. you lose motivation every time you don't lose see a specific weight on the scale and then the decision in your mind is to go harder or give up. That's the black and white thinking that is dangerous.

So truly realise that you are changing your life, making yourself healthier, fitter and happier, and that no single day or number on a scale changes that commitment you made. There truly is no finish line. (apart from death )

I am All or Nothing, Black or White, Right or Wrong, my favorite phrase is on my page, "Do or Do Not, There is No Try - Yoda".

But in all things, moderation and balance, is the only way to survive and thrive.

I blend the two extreme viewpoints into one, for instance, I quit Fast Food, Soda and Candy, cold turkey, day 1 and starting logging everything, however, I have gradually folded in exercise, healthier food, homemade cooking.

So, again, balance is key. You cannot beat yourself up too much if you fail, nor can you celebrate obnoxiously, if you win.

. You cannot beat yourself up too much if you fail, nor can you celebrate obnoxiously, if you win.

"If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same..."

I've absolutely struggled with this thought process. I'd say that letting go of that mentality has been one of the biggest reasons why I'm succeeding right now!

For me, I'm really terrible at prioritizing exercising. I have less trouble overall with keeping my eating habits in check. Although I do exercise slightly more than I did prior to changing my lifestyle, I have lost almost all of my weight by monitoring the calories that I eat. Eventually, exercise will become a bigger priority in my life... but I realized that separating the "easier" part out and getting control of my eating habits would be much more sustainable for me long term. With eating too though, I've also had to come to terms with the fact that I'm probably never going to be someone who eats cleanly. I try to make more health-conscious choices but continue to indulge in moderation on the less healthy options.

Going at everything with this mindset makes such a difference in feeling like I can keep up with these changes forever!

I used to be all or nothing. If I didn't exercise on a particular day I tended to cash it in on the diet as well. Now if I miss an excercise day I still maintain the diet. The MFP phone app has helped me tremendously in this area.