I am the woman in the freeweights section of the gym
MoreBean13
Posts: 8,701 Member
Hello MFPers. I would just like to post about what it is like to be a woman lifting heavy weighs amongst the men, and how you can overcome fears associated with being a lone she-wolf.
1. Yep, it's almost all men.
There's very few gyms where women dominate the weight room. Some gyms have dedicated women's weight rooms, but from what I've seen they have less equipment. No thanks. I want access to every piece of equipment available. Quite frankly, I think dedicated women's weight section do nothing but foster the environment that the regular weight room isn't for women. It's like there is an invisible barrier that you're afraid to cross- don't be. Where I am at now, I can tell you from watching the guys that there's plenty of men that don't know what they're doing and a educated woman who walks in to the weight room has a leg up on an uneducated man.
2. How to get over the initial fear
Start with the book "Starting Strength". If you read that book in it's entirety, you will have the foundational knowledge to lift weights. Period. You can now go in to the weight room and be more knowledgeable than most of the men there. Also, you can read any of the "New Rules of Lifting" books (including but not limited to New Rules for Women). There is no difference between how men should lift versus how women should lift. Once you've started educating yourself, walk in and start giving things a try. If you're worried you won't know how to clip the weights on the bar or other small details (I know I get hung up on the small details myself) just know that after one single day of orienting yourself with the equipment, you'll know. The maximum uncomfortability is one day. Also, you can always post specific (even stupid) questions here on MFP and save a little face if you want to. If you're REALLY worried, hire a trainer for one session just to walk you through the equipment (after you've done your reading, so that you know what you're looking for)
3. Go in with a plan
Don't just go wander around, have a specific plan of attack. Use the NROL or Starting Strength or Stronglifts to plan your program, and every time you walk in the gym you will know what you're going to do in what order. When you start focusing on your program, you'll be less aware of goings on around you.
4. The men will look, and might even make comments. They're not necessarily creepers.
Just accept it, you'll be a novelty and an anomaly. One of the things that happens in the weight room is everyone has downtime between sets, and people watch other people. Men watch other men, they watch women, women watch men- it just happens. It's one of the ways we learn while we're there. They're not necessarily judging you or undressing you, they're just killing time between sets and observing.
For me, I lift a decent amount of weight, sometimes more than some men, and with good form. It's an anomaly. I *frequently* have men come up and say "Your squats are awesome, I can't get close to that low!" or a guy said to me the other day "I'm jealous, you can do more dips than I can". When I started lifting, I thought all these comments were coming from a place of creeping, but I've come to understand that it's just them generally appreciating what I'm doing, and now I graciously accept the compliments and move on. There are some creepers occasionally ("Hey, I have a really good two person ab workout I'd like to show you") but like 95% of the time it's non-creeping compliments. I genuinely really like the compliments now.
In my experience, you get pretty equal respect when you do equal workouts.
5. With equal respect comes equal treatment
You can't have it both ways, if you workout with the guys you're going to be treated like the guys treat each other. Guys aren't going to run over and offer to help you do things, but if you need help don't be afraid to ask a guy to spot your bench presses in between sets. (Don't ever try and talk to someone during a set. Ever.) If you take up a whole bunch of different equipment at one time doing some circuit workout, you'll get exactly the same annoyed reaction as if you were a man doing that exact thing.
6. Wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing...
...but don't come back here and complain if you're oogled when you're wearing a bra and booty shorts.
7. If you just suck it up and walk in with your head high and do your workout today, your fears will be greatly diminished by tomorrow. Just do it.
1. Yep, it's almost all men.
There's very few gyms where women dominate the weight room. Some gyms have dedicated women's weight rooms, but from what I've seen they have less equipment. No thanks. I want access to every piece of equipment available. Quite frankly, I think dedicated women's weight section do nothing but foster the environment that the regular weight room isn't for women. It's like there is an invisible barrier that you're afraid to cross- don't be. Where I am at now, I can tell you from watching the guys that there's plenty of men that don't know what they're doing and a educated woman who walks in to the weight room has a leg up on an uneducated man.
2. How to get over the initial fear
Start with the book "Starting Strength". If you read that book in it's entirety, you will have the foundational knowledge to lift weights. Period. You can now go in to the weight room and be more knowledgeable than most of the men there. Also, you can read any of the "New Rules of Lifting" books (including but not limited to New Rules for Women). There is no difference between how men should lift versus how women should lift. Once you've started educating yourself, walk in and start giving things a try. If you're worried you won't know how to clip the weights on the bar or other small details (I know I get hung up on the small details myself) just know that after one single day of orienting yourself with the equipment, you'll know. The maximum uncomfortability is one day. Also, you can always post specific (even stupid) questions here on MFP and save a little face if you want to. If you're REALLY worried, hire a trainer for one session just to walk you through the equipment (after you've done your reading, so that you know what you're looking for)
3. Go in with a plan
Don't just go wander around, have a specific plan of attack. Use the NROL or Starting Strength or Stronglifts to plan your program, and every time you walk in the gym you will know what you're going to do in what order. When you start focusing on your program, you'll be less aware of goings on around you.
4. The men will look, and might even make comments. They're not necessarily creepers.
Just accept it, you'll be a novelty and an anomaly. One of the things that happens in the weight room is everyone has downtime between sets, and people watch other people. Men watch other men, they watch women, women watch men- it just happens. It's one of the ways we learn while we're there. They're not necessarily judging you or undressing you, they're just killing time between sets and observing.
For me, I lift a decent amount of weight, sometimes more than some men, and with good form. It's an anomaly. I *frequently* have men come up and say "Your squats are awesome, I can't get close to that low!" or a guy said to me the other day "I'm jealous, you can do more dips than I can". When I started lifting, I thought all these comments were coming from a place of creeping, but I've come to understand that it's just them generally appreciating what I'm doing, and now I graciously accept the compliments and move on. There are some creepers occasionally ("Hey, I have a really good two person ab workout I'd like to show you") but like 95% of the time it's non-creeping compliments. I genuinely really like the compliments now.
In my experience, you get pretty equal respect when you do equal workouts.
5. With equal respect comes equal treatment
You can't have it both ways, if you workout with the guys you're going to be treated like the guys treat each other. Guys aren't going to run over and offer to help you do things, but if you need help don't be afraid to ask a guy to spot your bench presses in between sets. (Don't ever try and talk to someone during a set. Ever.) If you take up a whole bunch of different equipment at one time doing some circuit workout, you'll get exactly the same annoyed reaction as if you were a man doing that exact thing.
6. Wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing...
...but don't come back here and complain if you're oogled when you're wearing a bra and booty shorts.
7. If you just suck it up and walk in with your head high and do your workout today, your fears will be greatly diminished by tomorrow. Just do it.
159
Replies
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Thank you for this information, as I am new with weight training. I only go to the free weight section when my trainer forces me. I am the woman who opted not to go in that section for the reason you indicated, dominated by men and a bit intimidated.
I will look for the book Starting Strength.
Thank you for sharing. I really appreciate this information.8 -
Excellent post. I am also usually the only woman in t weights section.
I'll also add that sometimes the men will try to be helpful, and will try to correct your form, and sometimes they'll be wrong. I've had a guy tell me I shouldn't be arching my back on bench and another that I shouldn't be going that low, or leaning forward on squats. He had no idea what a "low bar" squat was when I explained it. Do your homework on form. Know enough that you know when the "helpfuls" are being helpful and when they are full of it.14 -
I completely agree.
I used a trainer to show my the proper techniques of the 5/3/1 so that when I went in, I wouldn't have to wonder if I was doing it right or wrong because he is trained to know, and he can see me from angles I can't see myself.
Most gyms offer a free introductory training session - use it wisely.7 -
As a woman in the free weights section of the gym, I have to say this post was entirely accurate!3
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Fantastic post!4 -
Great post! Bumping for my friend list. :flowerforyou:1
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Yes. Yes. Yes.1
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YES. You, get in my feed now!1
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Great post!!! :drinker:0
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I am a woman in the free weights area. I get some looks, but the ones I like the most are the guys who watch me get heavier weights then they are using, LOL
I should say it took me a while, but all you say is true. Of course I also had to get past, "women don't lift" as I am 47 and that was a real big deal. Even women on weight machines with heavy weights was not acceptable.5 -
:drinker:
Holy ****... this is great. I'm going to bump this every single day... or hour. Lets see how quickly I can get around to it.
This thing needs to be available permanently at the top of the fitness forums.3 -
Thank you for this. I have ventured into the freeweights section a few times at my gym but it is still terrifying for me. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and everyone is staring at me. I'm not only female but I have just started my "get fit" journey and I don't "look like" I belong in a gym. I just need to suck it up and try again until I become comfortable...11
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Awesome1
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Fantastic post!
Agree. Also--LANA.1 -
Nothing is more attractive than a female doing some ATG squats!!! I give a lot respect to females that aren't afraid to do the routines many men don't even do...squats, deadlifts...3
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:flowerforyou:0
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I'm adding:
#8- Just blast your music...no one will bother you when your music is so loud that other people can kind of hear it. They'll either assume that you are hard-of-hearing or an idiot.5 -
Great post and quite true.
I workout at home so I'm still the only woman in the weights room :flowerforyou:7 -
Today was the first time using the freeweights at one of my gym chains. I usually use the rubber dumbbells in the circuit training room but I really needed to use the gym. The men were big and intimidating but they helped me out. I did my routine and left, no fuss no muss. Its not that serious.2
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Good post. You have to be focused. It can be embarrassing sometimes. There's some really clunky equipment that is awkward to move on the squat rack, but if the guys run over to help then I'm happy if they do. Guys really do love to help you know, it used to really bother me when I was younger but now I'm just gracious about it.
Once I took the weight off someone's bench press when they were resting, because it looked exactly the same as the other pegs where the weights were kept. His face! We are good buddies now.
Then another time I forgot to put a clip on a barbell and nearly dropped 2 x 10kg on my head. But still I persevered!
I'm very comfortable and proud there now. I see women sneaking yearning looks from their cardio and weight machines where their poor little spindly legs are flapping around. It's a shame it's seen as such an aggressive and scary place. They are usually the nicest people, but lifting is hard and painful so everyone looks a bit cross!6 -
:drinker:1
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Got to have this thread in my post history!0
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I was initially scared of the weight room and finally went with one of my guy friends that I could trust and that hubby trusts!!! Lol!! Anyway I went a couple times with the friend, but then he got busy and couldn't make it when I could so I just sucked it up and went all by myself. And guess what?!? I was scared but I made it through my entire work out and I wasn't treated any differently than when I went with my buddy. Everything in your post is exactly what I have encountered, well except I don't lift very heavy cause I'm still a newbie so no one is in awe of my squats or anything but everything else is spot on!2
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I agree whole heartedly, and in my experience, the guys in my weight room are nothing less than helpful respectful and pretty much awesome, but there are also some women in there that I truly admire. Rock on ladies!1
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You are scared, intimidated, don't feel like you belong? Fake it until you feel it.
Great post.2 -
bumping to share with my FL0
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Read so you know what you're doing, and have a plan. I've been saying it for months now! Awesome.
I had to post again, this is great.0 -
Love this!! The first time is always the hardest but it's never going to be that hard again. So walk in and get it over with!
I can honestly say I have never had any creeper compliments and only good ones. I'm so glad I walked over there 15 months ago - I've never looked back!1 -
Bump for Bean!0
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Thanks for the info. I work out at home right now, but plan on going to the gym in the future. I'm kind of shy, so the idea of working out around others is a little intimidating, and being one of the few girls there will feel weird.1
This discussion has been closed.
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