Sins of Our Parents

I would say that both of my parents contributed to my weight gain in some way.

Throughout childhood my sister and I were very active and danced 3-4 times a week, before switching to competitive swimming with 6-8 traning sessions per week (2 hours in length each). Since we basically exercised 2 hours every day, weight gain wasn't much of a issue - regardless of what we ate.

Our parents both worked long hours and so dinner was food like pizza and chips, nuggets and chips, big bowls of pasta, noodles and kievs etc (you see where I am going), and snacks would be crisps, chocolate, ice-cream and god remembers what else. Both my parents would have huge portions of food, and also gorge on unhealthy snacks.

We were never taught about nutrition or portion control, I had to learn this for myself.

After giving up the swimming weight became an issue for my sister and myself, especially since I was pregnant and ate anything in sight (which so happened to be unhealthy foods).

Learning about proper nutrition and portion control has been something I have definitely had to do myself, but I am so thankful I did. I wish my parents would take notice, or have had more sense when we were younger - both my parents are now obese and so is my little sister, yet they just don't care.

My situation back fired on my parents. I learned to eat healthy and lost all the weight in less than one year. I've maintained it for over a 1 1/2 years. I learned to be the parent of my own body. I treat my stomach like a two year old child having a temper tantrum. When I feel hungry, I ask myself a flow chart of questions. Is it time to eat? If no, did you eat your breakfast on time? If yes, then you'll need to wait until your next scheduled feeding time. This allows me to over-ride the inner child who wants to eat everything in sight. It also helps control eating on time and the proper amount of food.

So why do I go through all this? Because if I don't I will eat out of control. I'm a food addict. I don't eat sugar, flour, or dairy products. 99% of the time I eat only non-processed foods. I believe I have a sugar addiction that I inherited from my grandmother who had diabetes. I believe that the DNA in our bodies causes us to react to food the way we do. It is also like an allergic reaction. The sugar only stores fat so the more I eat it the bigger I get.

Because I eat like this, my parents are shocked. They are trying to eat healthier. I don't comment on their eating or weight because I feel it is an internal struggle most of us have to face. It is built into our free will. My mother use to make the comments about weight and she still does about my other family members. I am educating her on the truth so she can stop making fun of the other family members and understand why it is happening.

I am in my healthy BMI. The doctors are happy. My blood work is perfect. Per my doctor, I have to take vitamin D supplements and lay off the carrots as my vitamin A was too high and made me yellow (doc said I was 5 times the limit). I'm glad my doctor is checking these things.

Someone posted this on facebook this morning I thought made sense about weight:

1. Toxic Overload

One of the culprits to weight issues most people don’t look into is toxic chemicals. Yes, toxic chemicals can make you heavy and make it harder to lose weight. Learn more about it here.

2. Emotional Trauma

Got issues? Emotional trauma could be contributing to your body holding on to weight. Consider this:

“When you had a trauma as a kid and you’re 10 years old, your cells keep a cellular memory of that trauma, and your body, it will activate certain genes that will activate FAT programs if your cells feel like fat is the way to protect you from the trauma.” - Jon Gabriel

Of course the phrase “emotional trauma” sounds pretty big and scary, but any emotional issues may be making you heavy. Learn more about it here.

3. The Wrong Diet

If you’re still following the low-fat, highly processed “diet” that the marketing world tells us will help us lose weight then you may be surprised to learn the truth about healthy weight loss in relationship to the foods we eat. I don’t personally prescribe to any one diet. I think there are valid aspects of all the popular lifestyle diets like Paleo, WAPF, Vegetarian, etc. (You can read more about my thoughts on that here). But the real key is REAL FOOD, and taking advantage of all the macro-nutrients while eating a nutrient-dense diet. Want to learn more? Two of my favorite books include this one and this one.

4. Hormonal Imbalance

Imbalanced hormones can wreak havoc on your overall health and add extra poundage to your frame. The good news it that you can learn how to balance your hormones naturally and it can help you lose weight. Read more about it here and here.

5. Medication Side Effect

One of the side-effects of many medications is weight gain. Now, I’m not suggesting you stop taking your medication. I’m not a doctor and you should follow the advice of your trusted health care practitioner. But it’s definitely something to consider if you are currently on meds. Finding natural alternatives (if that works with your situation) can help you lose weight and avoid other negative side effects.


6. Stress

We live in very stressful times, and unfortunately that stress can take it’s toll. If you’re wondering why you are still heavy you may want to find some way to combat stress. Learn more about it here and here.

7. Inadequate Sleep

Too little sleep? That could be a major reason why you’re still heavy. I know that for me my body holds on to weight desperately when I’m not getting adequate sleep (which makes losing baby weight tricky, ha!) If you’re having trouble getting your zzzzz’s, consider reading my favorite book on the subject.

8. Too Sedentary

While it’s true that lots of people who deal with weight gain are moving a lot, there are still plenty of people who are suffering from our sedentary lifestyles. Here are great ways to get addicted to exercise and the benefits of moving.

9. Eating Too Much Food

Another major culprit in our world of easy fast food is a simple calories in, calories out problem. I personally don’t count calories, but I am also very careful about eating only real food and listening to my body. If you are still eating a Standard American Diet, consider making the switch to a real foods diet. It’s just as delicious and way more satisfying.

10. Eating Too Little Food

On the other side of the scale (pun intended) are the folks who are eating too little. Guess what? That can make your body hold on the weight even more! I’ve seen so many dedicated people working hard at the gym and then restricting their diet to 1200 calories. Your body will think you’re starving and hold onto the weight. Don’t do it! And while some people may have found that they do lose weight on such a restrictive diet, the long term affects are not worth it (not to mention you usually gain the weight back.) Eat enough to support movement.

11. Metabolic Issues

We often think of our metabolism as some sort of magic fairy that helps us lose weight if it’s “fast” and keep it on if it’s “slow.” But the truth is that our metabolism determines so much more. If you are still heavy despite lots of efforts and also have trouble sleeping, concentrating, or feeling energized you should seriously consider checking out your metabolic health. This is my absolute favorite book on the matter.

12. Hidden or Underlying Health Issues

Of course, the reason why you are still heavy may be even more hidden than this list can provide. Again, I’d highly recommend meeting with a trusted healthcare professional, getting some testing done, and seeing if you have something else that needs addressing. In this case your weight gain could be a tremendous blessing in helping you dig a littler deeper and improve your overall health.

BONUS Reason Why You’re Still heavy: You Had (or are having) a Baby

I almost feel ridiculous for adding this bonus point to the list, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. I see so many woman struggle with their body after giving birth (*raises hand*)… guess what? YOU GREW A PERSON!? It took you nine months to add the weight and it may take you nine months (or longer if you’re dealing with any of the other above issues) to lose it. Enjoy your beautiful and capable body. Respect it for the miracle of giving birth. You are beautiful, trust me.

I did gain a lot of my food issues from my mom as a result of issues given to her by my grandmother. Maybe my grandma's issues were passed down, too. I try not to dwell and blame, I just try to be the one to break the cycle.

Should read parents and grandparents. From the new scientist, what you eat as a parent influences the outcomes for your children and grandchildren, genetics or something.

I do feel that my parents contributed to my lifelong issues with food. Chips, soda, and sugary snacks were an everyday occurrence in my home growing up and there was no lessons in portion control so my brother and I were basically allowed as much junk food we wanted pretty much whenever we wanted.

My Mom had a weight problem and she often gave us treats for comfort and as a way to show us love and make us happy, although I know she didn't realize what she was doing and the impact it would have on my life. My Dad was more disciplined with food himself and was never very overweight but he wasn't a super involved parent and didn't take the time to teach us proper portion control and discipline as it was easier just to give in to us when we were wanting some treats.

I accept responsibility as an adult for my poor choices but it would have been so much easier to not have to break a bunch of bad habits that have been ingrained in me when I was a kid. I know my parents didn't realize what they were doing back then, they both worked and were just trying to get by with 2 kids but it has definitely made it hard to have a healthy relationship with food as an adult. On the positive side, now that I have to kids of my own, I make a conscious effort to teach them proper eating habits so they don't struggle with weight their whole lives like I did.

and as for my parents, they are both in their 50s and have never been 'fat'. They are both fit.

Mom used to be a bikini model and stayed fit her whole life.

Dad used to be an actor and have stayed the same throughout 20s, 30s, 40s, and his 50s.

Diet method is to stay at the same 'weight' by skipping meals if they get eat a lot the day before, etc. (using the scale).

While true that we learn a lot of habitual eating patterns and choices growing up, habits can be changed as an adult. Both my parents weren't very exercise conscious while I was growing up, so I didn't learn exercise from them. I learned it because I wanted to.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I think parents form our habits from an early age. Unfortunately my parents rewarded me with food and there would always be biscuits/cakes/sweets/crisps in the house because they would work 16 hours days and wanted to comfort me somehow i guess. i guess i should have changed my habits earlier, as a teenager but i didnt care much then. however im doing this now. in the end its never too late!

Personally, I would never blame others for MY poor choices, no matter the link between them, It's not like my parents ever held a gun to my head and force-fed me. As a parent now I do try to give my kids good food choices, and plenty of time to play, as a result, my kids are perfectly healthy. I also have two friends with kids of their own, their kids are trim and in good health, but each one has one daughter that is seriously overweight, they don't have a different diet than the other kids in the family, and they both spend as much time playing outside as the other kids. So figure that one out.

Rigger

I don't blame my parents for anything. The only person who ever even implied that I was chubby was my grandmother, and that was only the one time. But the thing is, I was never technically overweight. I was definitely on the high end of the healthy BMI range and certainly a little jiggly, but I was never "overweight."

My parents never gave me a hard time about my weight until AFTER I lost 20 pounds. And even then, it's just my dad who keeps bothering me about it. My mom understands that I lost most of it just by diet changes--she knows that I ate a lot of Chef Boyardee and pasta, but I'm making healthier food swaps. My dad is convinced that I'm starving myself.

I think I'm going to invite them to come see me at one of my 5ks in the summer, so they can see that I'm not just skinnier than I was, that I'm much more FIT than I was.

My grandma did that to me all the time too! "If you can pinch an inch it's too much!" It was always one ear out the other for me because she had an eating disorder before she had cancer when I was very little.
My dad on the other hand is the complete opposite. He likes heavier women and told me I was too thin last summer. I think he was just used to seeing me heavier.

Being the child of a likely borderline or narcissistic mother (b**** was CRAZY), I'd definitely say that there was influence on my body image and how I related to food. The "junk" meals (frozen dinners, box dinners, etc.) that I cooked for myself at 8 while waiting on her to get home from work- sure, the best she could do in that situation. However, the hurtful comments ("sure, your stepdad can eat a box of ice cream bars in one sitting- he's skinny, you're not"), "girls' day out" (a weekly Saturday trip to the mall starring an unwilling red_mage and Dairy Queen blizzards for lunch), and zero chance for true parental approval led to me having issues with sugary and sweet treats for most of my life. I used to equate desserts/sweets with times my mother was actually treating me like a daughter- I weighed close to 180-190 all the way through high school.

Now she's dead, I'm doing keto (no desire for sweet treats), I'm down to the lowest weight I've been in my adult life, and I could gladly deadlift her corpse back into the grave a thousand times over.

I have an overweight teen girl. She grew up doing at home workout out videos with me, going to practices to play ball when i coached an older team, riding bikes and eating junk in moderation. She's built bigger.

I can't lose weight for her. She does eat soup and salad while her girlfriends eat pizza. She tries but she's a teenager.

She has been in show choir for past 3 yrs and Loves it! They have choreography and conditioning for hours about 5-6 days a week and this lasts for about 5 months out of the year.

As a parent all i can do is supply her with knowledge, healthy choices when she's with me and positive encouragement. The rest is in her hands.

eh yes and no.

I grew up in a middle class 80s Midwestern household where it was very normal to eat little to no veggies, go out to Pizza Hut and Burger King a few times a week, pack Lunchables and cans of Coke for lunch, sit inside watching TV, etc. So yeah, still kind of overcoming that. I still feel like I'm supposed to have dessert after a meal. It STILL feels weird to buy and eat so many vegetables and drink so much water, even though I've been working toward my current lifestyle for about 15 years now at age 37! I don't feel like my parents were BAD though. They were often ignorant of the proper choices. They made efforts to help me like lowfat milk, lean meat, etc. We did get exercise as a family like bike riding and swimming and just generally being out & about instead of sitting on the couch every night. My mom had disordered eating (laxative habit, way too few calories, poor nutrition) but she never passed that on to me. My dad was quite overweight for most of his life as well, so a lot of the time my weight issues were attributed to that tendency to be "big" (at age 10, I was 5'6" and around 130 lb, so proportional but enormous for my age).

Honestly I feel like my parents' supportive and encouraging attitude in all areas of life, even if sometimes overly indulgent and/or accepting of my obesity when I was a teenager (You look beautiful!) is still 100 times better than if they hadn't been so encouraging and accepting. As a result I have a positive attitude and good self-esteem. I have always loved myself. Yeah, that kept me pretty carefree when I was 260-300 lb in the past...but I'd still prefer it over being taunted or abused due to my weight. I have managed to escape many of the body image issues and confidence hurdles that many of my (even much smaller) peers have had to overcome.

I had always been over 200, but I had always been healthy and active.

It's not likely for most males under 6 feet to be 200lbs to not be overweight. So not sure how you thought this was a healthy weight.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition