Body Dysmorphia?

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Replies

  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    I still do things like turn sideways to get through a turnstile, but I don't have to any more ..
    Oh, this! Me too! The worst is when I try to open a door by pushing it with my once-much-more-ample behind and end up having to lean way over to do it. I think it can take a pretty long time to adjust to the new reality after a significant change.
  • Laura3BB
    Laura3BB Posts: 250 Member
    I can really relate to this. I'm 5' 7', started out at 169, and my goal range is 124-128. Last time I weighed in a couple of days ago I was 122.5. I know I should get back up to 124, but still feel like I have to apologize or explain to my mfp pals that I'm overeating on purpose, and feel very guilty if I go over on calories for more than a day or two in a row. I usually try to get to at least 100 calories of my goal when I'm maintaining, but still can't help but feel proud of myself if I'm more than 100 calories under my goal at the end of the day. I do check the mirror every day still to make sure my tummy is still flat, and get so frustated if I feel bloated at the end of the day, worrying whether I'll feel that way in the morning or not. I don't think I ever really saw myself as the size 10 that I started out as, and now that I'm a size 4 I don't think I see myself as that way either. Trying on new clothes is still an eye opener, still surprised at how the mirror looks when I try on a small dress or pair of pants that actually fits. I definitely think body dysmorphia is an issue I should try and deal with.

    Sorry I can't offer any advice, but wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat.

    Get yourself MFP pals who are also maintaining :-)
  • Laura3BB
    Laura3BB Posts: 250 Member
    For my part, I feel pretty good with my new weight - which was actually my weight for 20 yrs up to 3 years ago.
    I do find though that I would be happy to lose another 5 pounds (which was not in my initial plan).

    Looking at ourselves in the mirror and on pictures, regularly, might help?
  • lauraleighangel
    lauraleighangel Posts: 3 Member
    These are wonderful ideas! I used to struggle with severe body dysmorphia..I still have it to some extent..I believe once the calories are raised out of "diet mode", the brain begins to function better psychologically..sorry I posted here, meant to post to the thread, but couldn't figure how!
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    I think BD is one way to describe the inability to see our body as it isbut I wanted to clarify that this is different from clinical body dysmorphia or body dysmorphic disorder. Be glad you don't have that.

    http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd

    As others have said, I think we all get used to seeing and thinking about ourselves a certain way and it's normal, even expected, for the brain to take a while to catch up with the body's changes. I also think that there are a lot of other areas in our lives where we probably don't see ourselves clearly besides weight, including our strengths, weaknesses, personality, etc. We just don't see ourselves objectively, so why should body image be any different?

    Maybe the important thing is just recognizing it is happening so we don't believe the stories our brain tells us. As someone else said, how you feel physically is probably the best guide, although I know we all want to feel good about ourselves. I like to think the brain will catch up in time and show us how awesome we actually are. :)

    I agree. It is important to think about whether you are within a clinical zone or experiencing a normal adjustment period.

    Another poster suggested putting on old clothes to see the change. I think that's a good idea.

    I also find that I see myself more clearly in a photo than in a mirror. That was true when I was overweight. It is also true now that I'm slim.
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
    I think I do have BD, but my biggest issue is the loose skin that I can not see past. So when I look in the mirror, even though I am wearing a size 2 I see myself as huge because I know what my body looks like under the clothes. I am disgusted by myself on a daily basis, every time I see myself naked in the mirror. my boyfriend and other people close to me reassure me that I shouldnt be so hard on myself, and I guess I know deep down that I shouldnt. However, it doesnt change the fact that my self esteem is much lower now after losing over 100 pounds than it wa at my biggest.

    I do have good days and bad days, and I went to counseling for a while that helped. But I think it is going to take a lot of time before I can accept that this body is mine for good. I wish I could just be happy and proud of where I am, not still feel so bad about myself.

    That, right there. I don't even have a boyfriend/husband but at this point I don't feel like I ever could. If I can't even stand to look at myself nekked without being repulsed, how could I ever expect anyone else to.
  • Schtroumpfkin
    Schtroumpfkin Posts: 123 Member
    I hear you. I've always felt "just those few extra pounds and I'll feel great about myself", but it doesn't work that way. I had a bit of a revelation recently. It probably won't be news to you, but it has really made a difference to my body confidence - I've been doing consistent exercise recently (3 times a week for around 3 months). It is mainly made up of classes, which I actually love (having never really be "into" exercise before). Gradually, as I feel fitter, I have slotted in other stuff, like rowing and cycling. Over time, I have looked at myself in the mirror and rather than seen big, fat thighs (I am pear shaped), I see powerful, athletic ones. I can do squats like nobody else in my class. When I'm on the bike or rower these days, I feel strong. I'm proud of what my body can do. When I started exercise, I did it to lose weight. Now, although I still have pounds to go, I don't care as much. (That is a big thing for me). I REALLY don't care as much. I've just entered a 10k running race for March. Believe me, I've battled with the "you don't do that sort of thing" voice in my head", but why not? I'm changing what I do in order to think differently about me and my body.

    Sorry for being a bit self-absorbed by using my own experience as an example, but I wonder if you need to find something to feel proud of your body for other than weight. That could be standard exercise (how fast? how heavy? how far?) OR could be something more creative (what a great ballroom dancer / tap dancer) or it could be something that brings you closer to others (hiking in a group) or nature (walking in the woods, snorkeling). Anything that might change your attitude to your body.
  • FJunkie
    FJunkie Posts: 74
    Same here lol its common among people that into fitness i still c my self sometimes as the skinny kid who never lifted .its crazy ..but its more extreme among people who were over weight and lost weight .. alot agree that when they built muscle and became firmer they felt better .. i guess u should focus on building muscle after u are done with ur weight loss goals
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    bump
  • laineybz
    laineybz Posts: 704 Member
    Same here lol its common among people that into fitness i still c my self sometimes as the skinny kid who never lifted .its crazy ..but its more extreme among people who were over weight and lost weight .. alot agree that when they built muscle and became firmer they felt better .. i guess u should focus on building muscle after u are done with ur weight loss goals

    This is my aim.
  • turtleball
    turtleball Posts: 217 Member
    I think BD is one way to describe the inability to see our body as it isbut I wanted to clarify that this is different from clinical body dysmorphia or body dysmorphic disorder. Be glad you don't have that.

    exactly people with BD cant even take a pictures of themselves and post it over the internet... or anywhere.
    People with BD think theyre hideous monsters, they have a hard time even going out in public, or even holding their head up so other people can see their faces.


    low self-esteem does not always equal BD
  • 10manda86
    10manda86 Posts: 229 Member
    Not accepting my new body is my biggest fear... I still have a long way to go, but I am focusing more on BF% than my actual weight. As far as weight goes, at my heaviest I was 96kg (before pregnancy). I lost 10kg but I do not remember what I felt like at 96kg! After bub I was 92kg. I am now around 80kg and I do not feel any different than I did at 92kg. I still wear some of the same clothes! I buy new ones and feel weird buying smaller sizes. With 15-20kg left to lose I focus on accepting each kilo as a great change. I hope that by accepting each kilo there will not be such a huge shock at the end!
    I take monthly progress pics and focus on the changes and the definition that I can see.
    I am aware of the negativity many people feel towards their new body and the trouble with acceptance, thanks to this news feed when I read my goal if I am having trouble with acceptance and find that pictures, mirrors, self-talk and the feedback from others doesn't help I will be seeking a counsellor.
    Thank you OP for posting this... you are fantastic xx
  • wnlbutterfly
    wnlbutterfly Posts: 35 Member
    It takes time for your mind to catch up with your weight loss. You will see your reflection in a store window and not recognize yourself. How long for this to happen really depends on you, everyone is different but I think it happens a lot more than people realize.

    I also find it difficult with people start treating you differently. It is the shallow people out there that somehow a new size makes you a better person...someone they are okay now to be seen with.

    Listen to the compliments...remind yourself of how far you have come. Let your mind and body reconnect before trying to lose weight that could be dangerous and unappealing.
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
    Having been very thin for most of my life, and only recently overweight and trying to lose, I can tell you that I have NEVER had a realistic view of my body. Even when I was a gangly teenager, I felt "big". Looking at photos of myself in a bathing suit as a teen, I look gorgeous and slender, however I thought I had big thighs and a big butt. I had no such thing. I guess that's body dysmorphia.

    I've been working on it and actually feel better about my body and attractiveness even though I'm overweight, thanks to a women's support group. Go figure.

    Losing weight doesn't make you happy and if you lose thinking that it will somehow make all your dreams come true, it's not going to happen. I think many women think they are ugly, fat, and just don't measure up, even when they are at a normal weight. and look great You don't escape that by losing more weight. I think you escape it by valuing yourself for things not associated with your physical appearance, to be accepting and compassionate with yourself, and to avoid looking at too many magazines, which are 100% photoshopped, and comparing yourself to the women you see there.

    In the end, how we feel about ourselves has more to do with the inside than the outside, I think.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    Pictures and friends you trust.

    I have struggled with hating my body image for a long time. Even now, at goal, I still look in the mirror and pick flaws. Especially when I'm emotional or hurting.

    I see things that are not there.

    What I would recommend is taking lots of pictures. When you hate what you see... Look at it in a picture. Find a close friend you trust and send it to them. Tell them what you see.

    I am getting better now, but it's because I had someone in my life who built me up and helped me see myself through their eyes.

    And post a success thread. The feedback you will get from that will likely astound you.

    I made a thread when I had my... Omg I'm not that person moment... I created a thread about a string bikini. (search topics for string bikini if you wanna read it)

    Friends. Pictures. Patience.

    And tell the person who is putting you down to stfu. (I. E. Don't talk to yourself that way)

    Another thread to check would be "the bold and the brave" it was inspiring!
  • Schtroumpfkin
    Schtroumpfkin Posts: 123 Member
    Looking at photos of myself in a bathing suit as a teen, I look gorgeous and slender, however I thought I had big thighs and a big butt. I had no such thing. I guess that's body dysmorphia.

    THIS THIS THIS!

    I just had this same experience. I want to go back in time and shake myself. WHAT was I worrying about? I could have been busier enjoying myself!!
  • nevertoooldtodoit
    nevertoooldtodoit Posts: 45 Member
    I get this as well but my mind works the other way. I had always been quite fit, healthy and thin. Now I am healthy but bigger...4 children and almost 50 will do that to a woman! Every time I look in the mirror I am shocked because I think of myself as smaller. I feel sometimes like I don't know who I'm looking at. I also deal with the unrealistic idea that I will look better/different after a single workout or will look worse after eating more than usual. What a mind game this can be! Sorry not so helpful, but this is all very interesting.
  • connieleavens
    connieleavens Posts: 31 Member
    Bump
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
    I still struggle with this every day, but it's important to remind yourself that it's in your head! :)

    This is a GREAT point! Please bear this in mind so you don't take what's in your mind out on your body.

    Also please remember BDD is classified as a mental illness under the DSM. If you are struggling with it, or something related, which is very common when someone undergoes a total body makeover, please seek out professional help.

    Just wanted to try and validate what you are going through--if you wouldn't tell a friend with depression to not get treatment, then, please be supportive of yourself. :)
  • Bounce2
    Bounce2 Posts: 138 Member
    This
    I think BD is one way to describe the inability to see our body as it isbut I wanted to clarify that this is different from clinical body dysmorphia or body dysmorphic disorder. Be glad you don't have that.

    http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd

    and this
    According to the DSM IV to be diagnosed with BDD a person must fulfill the following criteria:

    "Preoccupation with an imagined or slight defect in appearance. If a slight physical anomaly is present, the person's concern is markedly excessive."
    "The preoccupation causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning."
    "The preoccupation is not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., dissatisfaction with body shape and size in Anorexia Nervosa)."[34]
    In most cases, BDD is under-diagnosed. In a study of 17 patients with BDD, BDD was noted in only five patient charts, and none of the patients received an official diagnosis of BDD.[35] This under-diagnosis is due to the disorder only recently being included in DSM IV; therefore, clinician knowledge of the disorder, particularly among general practitioners, is not widespread.[36]

    Also, BDD is often associated with shame and secrecy; therefore, patients often fail to reveal their appearance concerns for fear of appearing vain or superficial.[36]

    BDD is also often misdiagnosed because its symptoms can mimic that of major depressive disorder or social phobia.[37] and so the cause of the individual's problems remain unresolved.

    Many individuals with BDD also do not possess knowledge or insight into the disorder and so regard their problem as one of a physical rather than psychological nature; therefore, individuals suffering from BDD may seek cosmetic treatment rather than mental health treatment.[citation needed]

    Give yourself some time. If you are someone who can never tell if they are overweight or underweight invest in your good friends. Take photos of yourself and skinny friends from the shoulder down in the same colour clothes and look at them weeks later and genuinely ask yourself what you consider the body composition to be.. Photos can work if you can use them in an objective way!
  • sunshine11111
    sunshine11111 Posts: 48 Member
    I do the same thing.
  • karmic_fit
    karmic_fit Posts: 24 Member
    I think it's something we all have to deal with to a greater or lesser degree. I was fat for a long time. I've only been thin for a year. I have to accept that it will take a while to see myself the way I really am. I also have the issues with loose skin and knowing that I'll never have the flat, firm body I want. I think that exacerbates the BD issue.

    This is my first time posting to a forum, so I apologize if i don't quite do it right. I just wanted to point out what this previous poster said 'I was fat for a long time' I myself have been 'fat' for the entirety of my life; that's 30 years of social behavior to get over, and I can only imagine that when i reach my goal weight it will take years for me to truly accept it. I just wanted to let you know that it took years to think of yourself as 'fat' and it might take years to think of yourself as 'thin' but that either way you should be proud of what you've accomplished, not just the weight-loss but the hard work and dedication you put in to learning new habits and taking care of yourself better. You've already proven that you can change the way you think about food (and i'm assuming that took time) now you have to be patient with yourself as you learn to change the way you think about YOU.
  • Keliandra
    Keliandra Posts: 170 Member
    Photos. Several full length photos in well fitting clothes. Mindfulness exercises help. Looking at my WHOLE self in the mirror, not just my face as I used to do.
  • VTflamingo
    VTflamingo Posts: 5
    This is one of the greatest websites for body dysmorphia:

    http://www.mybodygallery.com/

    Input your info and view others who are your same size. You'll see youself in a whole new light!

    WoW That was just totally shocking for me. Thanks for this link

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