Going on a date with someone I'm not interested in?

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  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
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    I wonder how many messages the OP has received since posting this topic from people trying to talk her into doing things.

    Just 4. I'm going on a date with 1 and gonna sleep with the other 3 since I'm so nice.



    Don't be an idiot.

    Rest assured that I have no interest in being the fifth.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
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    This guy keeps asking me out and I keep making up excuses as to why I can't go on a date with him. He's a very nice guy but I'm not really feeling him like he's feeling me.

    I say don't go out with him. Find some a'hole and date them. Then come back here and ask why I can't find a nice guy so I can quote back what I have in bold.

    LOL Even the a holes don't get to date me, or the nice guys or any guy because I don't date, but I do go to movies with friends who have the potential to gain an interest in me as a person and may or may not get lucky one day and become my boyfriend and will be allowed to have sex with me. If they're hell of a lot richer than me and want to pay for the movie as a great friend, then woohoo!!! Score. I think people need to be friends first before they become lovers anyhow. If you can't be a friend, then how the hell can you be a lover. I don't believe relationships are business.

    dating is fun
  • djxil
    djxil Posts: 357
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    Here is the short answer, Life is too short to spend time with people that you just don't "feel".

    There is a reason you are not into him, it may be a physical thing, it could be a mental thing, it might be the universe warning you not to go, there is a reason. Guys who do not get it, may never get it so it could go on and on. They are like the ocean, smoothing out the rocks, eventually, they win. Don't lie, be kind, let him down easy to begin and if it takes harsh reality, you may need to resort to that.

    No one has the right to pester you, to make you feel like you must follow them, you have the right to be happy, who you want to be with.
  • BrotherBill913
    BrotherBill913 Posts: 661 Member
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    I definitely agree about not giving him that sense of hope by saying yes.

    I would just sit him down and tell him honestly, you don't feel it, and it's never going to happen.

    If he's so nice, you want him to find someone that can actually love him, and not be stuck on you for ages.

    This^^^^^^^^^^^
  • BrotherBill913
    BrotherBill913 Posts: 661 Member
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    Here is the short answer, Life is too short to spend time with people that you just don't "feel".

    There is a reason you are not into him, it may be a physical thing, it could be a mental thing, it might be the universe warning you not to go, there is a reason. Guys who do not get it, may never get it so it could go on and on. They are like the ocean, smoothing out the rocks, eventually, they win. Don't lie, be kind, let him down easy to begin and if it takes harsh reality, you may need to resort to that.

    No one has the right to pester you, to make you feel like you must follow them, you have the right to be happy, who you want to be with.

    And this^^^^^^^^
  • dbm037
    dbm037 Posts: 125 Member
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    If you go dutch or even offer to pay, I don't see the harm. So long as you INSIST on at least half. I say this because I have dated some really awesome people by just giving them a shot. Maybe it will spark an interest. But if it doesn't, be straight forward afterwards.

    This...My current live in boyfriend asked me out several times before I went. I thought he was nice but felt no instant sparks. Long story short several years ago I sold my home and moved into his now we are planning on buying one together. It is a wonderful relationship that I would have never known if I didn't give him a shot
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
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    I wonder how many messages the OP has received since posting this topic from people trying to talk her into doing things.

    Just 4. I'm going on a date with 1 and gonna sleep with the other 3 since I'm so nice.



    Don't be an idiot.

    Rest assured that I have no interest in being the fifth.

    That's a relief.
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
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    Here is the short answer, Life is too short to spend time with people that you just don't "feel".

    There is a reason you are not into him, it may be a physical thing, it could be a mental thing, it might be the universe warning you not to go, there is a reason. Guys who do not get it, may never get it so it could go on and on. They are like the ocean, smoothing out the rocks, eventually, they win. Don't lie, be kind, let him down easy to begin and if it takes harsh reality, you may need to resort to that.

    No one has the right to pester you, to make you feel like you must follow them, you have the right to be happy, who you want to be with.

    This is a great reply. Thanks. (:
  • MaggieGiamalvo
    MaggieGiamalvo Posts: 397 Member
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    Here is the short answer, Life is too short to spend time with people that you just don't "feel".

    There is a reason you are not into him, it may be a physical thing, it could be a mental thing, it might be the universe warning you not to go, there is a reason. Guys who do not get it, may never get it so it could go on and on. They are like the ocean, smoothing out the rocks, eventually, they win. Don't lie, be kind, let him down easy to begin and if it takes harsh reality, you may need to resort to that.

    No one has the right to pester you, to make you feel like you must follow them, you have the right to be happy, who you want to be with.

    THIS!

    If there isn't a spark, to begin with, it's not likely there ever will be a spark. They will wear you down and get what they want... and you'll be miserable. I wasn't strong enough. I caved in to one. We got married. We're now separated and getting divorced. If you're not interested, don't waste each others' time. Be honest with him and move on.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    How is it being "nice" to go out with someone in whom you are not interested when you're just going to get their hopes even further to eventually dash them? Wouldn't the "nice" things to do is just be honest with him, instead of stringing him along?
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    I felt that same way about a guy i went to law school with. I knew he was SO into me and I just didn't feel like he was my type. I ended up marrying him and we have a baby on the way. I say go on that date, because you really never know!

    Same sort of thing here. I worked with a guy who kept asking me out for 6 months. I wasn't interested in him, but finally agreed to go over to his apartment where he had made dinner for us. We've been married for going on 22 years now.
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
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    Same sort of thing here. I worked with a guy who kept asking me out for 6 months. I wasn't interested in him, but finally agreed to go over to his apartment where he had made dinner for us. We've been married for going on 22 years now.

    That's too cute. (:
  • abelthephotographer
    abelthephotographer Posts: 127
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    Jeez, honesty, moral code, etc. etc.

    You don't dig him. Don't get his hopes up by going on any kind of date with him.

    Going Dutch means sweet FA (this may be lost in translation). Do not see him if you have no intentions of the kind of relationship he wants.

    FFS ...
  • abelthephotographer
    abelthephotographer Posts: 127
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    How is it being "nice" to go out with someone in whom you are not interested when you're just going to get their hopes even further to eventually dash them? Wouldn't the "nice" things to do is just be honest with him, instead of stringing him along?

    This ^^^^^^^ a million times ...
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
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    How is it being "nice" to go out with someone in whom you are not interested when you're just going to get their hopes even further to eventually dash them? Wouldn't the "nice" things to do is just be honest with him, instead of stringing him along?

    This ^^^^^^^ a million times ...
    But then... that guy you like. Probably 95% going to dump in if you do go out with him.
    Or you'll get married then get divorced.
    Or, you'll get married, live to an old age but you'll die first.

    Whatever, you're going to their hopes up massively further, then break their heart a lot more.
    Best just to say 'no'.

    If he's already a bit stalky, might make him worse. Or he might accept he's had his shot.
  • Shedding4Wedding2014
    Shedding4Wedding2014 Posts: 93
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    I would tell him that you're not interested, and will never be.


    It's simple.

    Yep.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,365 Member
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    So have you had an opportunity yet to tell him no and for him not to ask again as you are definitely not interested in going on a date with him?
  • Dina275_
    Dina275_ Posts: 10 Member
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    Just tell him no, there's no way you are obliged to go on a date with him because he's a 'nice' guy and keeps asking you out, to be honest if he was really a nice guy he would accept the fact you don't want to go out with him and stop asking...if you're not interested in him and see no potential then there is no point going out with him.

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