Dating advice needed....please
Replies
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Erm ... I'm getting bad vibes about this guy just based on your description of his behavior. He sounds kind of needy to me and potentially a bit controlling, as well. You might want to listen to your mom -- he may not end up being a serial killer or anything like that, but he sounds like he could definitely cause a lot of needless grief and stress down the road.
Anyhow, them's my $0.02.
This exactly!! If I meet a guy and they are like this, I am done. I have no desire to continue getting to know them. Sadly they are a lot of needy people in this world now days.0 -
I wouldn't read too much into the guy's obvious insecurity, but you might want to call him and tell him you are not in a postion to be texting constantly and you will see him on your first date. Until then ask him to relax. If he takes offense to that, canel the date.
This is along the lines of my advice, too. I'd be like, "Hold on...you seem cool, but I am just NOT constantly connected and available to text/call you/etc." and if he can't handle that or is upset by it then I would not go on the date.0 -
Not saying its right or wrong, however have you told him you aren't ok with him doing these things? if you haven't he may just think its what he supposed to do and will back it off accordingly. He may think hes' doing the right thing0
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Definately sounds like he has issues lovely, best to break ties now
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run... run away now!!!!!
And run fast and run far!0 -
Respond to one of the texts with a "back off or I won't be going out with you" type message. Keep it very public if you go out with him, don't give out more information than you would to a stranger. He seems weird but it could be nerves due to meeting someone he connected with, and now you're seeing the overzealous attempts at getting to know you better. It could be harmless but go with your gut. If your gut says, "don't trust, don't go", then don't. If your gut says that it's "nerves" or "he's harmless", then give him a chance.0
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Not saying its right or wrong, however have you told him you aren't ok with him doing these things? if you haven't he may just think its what he supposed to do and will back it off accordingly. He may think hes' doing the right thing
Isn't it sort of common knowledge not to over text and over call?0 -
too needy, he clearly isn't secure with himself and you don't know what he's capable of since you don't know him0
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Avoid like the plague0
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Not saying its right or wrong, however have you told him you aren't ok with him doing these things? if you haven't he may just think its what he supposed to do and will back it off accordingly. He may think hes' doing the right thing
Isn't it sort of common knowledge not to over text and over call?
Sure it is but since everybody is different and nowhere does it say how often this occurs, is overtexting and overcalling every hour..day...two days...I just figure that if he does this and isn't being told anything different or not picking up the cues then it may be alright to him. Who knows, just a thought but communication is always a key even if its obvious0 -
Souunds like he is rather insecure. When you were talking to him in person, did he seem weird. I would not recommend ever giving a guy a cell number until you know him better. Perhaps an email address would be better. Its up to you. Perhaps meet for coffee in a open place. Have a friend be on call somewhere nearby in case you run into trouble. You could have someone call call you to check your safety.
Texting or calling too much is very needy behavior. If you meet him, maybe you could ask him why he is doing this. Tell him your expectations and see what happens. I dont know maybe he is just inexperienced or nervous. If you he seems dangerous, you have no choice but to change your phone number and chalk it up to experience. Good luck and let us know what happens.0 -
Trust your instincts girl! He sounds a little crazy. I'd stay away.0
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sounds obsessive, has low self-esteem and has trust issues.
I wouldn't say give up but it might be some underlying issue that you might want to find out about him. Maybe he had a really bad relationship and the girl effed him up mentally....just my thought though
but if you are feeling iffy about it then stay away0 -
Souunds like he is rather insecure. When you were talking to him in person, did he seem weird. I would not recommend ever giving a guy a cell number until you know him better. Perhaps an email address would be better. Its up to you. Perhaps meet for coffee in a open place. Have a friend be on call somewhere nearby in case you run into trouble. You could have someone call call you to check your safety.
Texting or calling too much is very needy behavior. If you meet him, maybe you could ask him why he is doing this. Tell him your expectations and see what happens. I dont know maybe he is just inexperienced or nervous. If you he seems dangerous, you have no choice but to change your phone number and chalk it up to experience. Good luck and let us know what happens.
this...perfect!!!0 -
Isn't it sort of common knowledge not to over text and over call?He may think hes' doing the right thing
^THIS. Either he doesn't know how not cool that is, or he knows it but can't help himself. Either way, it's not very encouraging.
Your options:
1. Do him a favor: don't say anything about it, and go out with him--and hope that you can hear eachother over the sound of that huge red flag flapflapflapping away between you.
2. Do him a mixed favor: educate him, tell him that what's he's doing is not cool and setting off alarms, and go out with him anyway--if he still wants to after you (maybe) bruise his ego a little.
3. Do both him and yourself a favor: educate him and cancel the date.
4. Do yourself a favor: cancel the date.
I'm voting for #3 or #4.0 -
You could go an a date with him in a PUBLIC place, coffee shop or something like that and see how that goes if you are curious.
The constant texting would be a red flag for me.0 -
Too much, too soon!0
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Isn't it sort of common knowledge not to over text and over call?He may think hes' doing the right thing
^THIS. Either he doesn't know how not cool that is, or he knows it but can't help himself. Either way, it's not very encouraging.
Your options:
1. Do him a favor: don't say anything about it, and go out with him--and hope that you can hear eachother over the sound of that huge red flag flapflapflapping away between you.
2. Do him a mixed favor: educate him, tell him that what's he's doing is not cool and setting off alarms, and go out with him anyway--if he still wants to after you (maybe) bruise his ego a little.
3. Do both him and yourself a favor: educate him and cancel the date.
4. Do yourself a favor: cancel the date.
I'm voting for #3 or #4.
The typical 6.5 and above women in the 21-28 age range will cancel with no explanation (option 4). From 5-6.5 in that age cohort, the majority (my guess 85-90%) will cancel with no explanation (option 4), while the rest will choose option 3.0 -
I abide to the Crazy vs Hot scale. She'd have to be fairly attractive for me to put up with a clinger.0
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Your mom is right. Major fruit loop alert.0
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Isn't it sort of common knowledge not to over text and over call?He may think hes' doing the right thing
^THIS. Either he doesn't know how not cool that is, or he knows it but can't help himself. Either way, it's not very encouraging.
Your options:
1. Do him a favor: don't say anything about it, and go out with him--and hope that you can hear eachother over the sound of that huge red flag flapflapflapping away between you.
2. Do him a mixed favor: educate him, tell him that what's he's doing is not cool and setting off alarms, and go out with him anyway--if he still wants to after you (maybe) bruise his ego a little.
3. Do both him and yourself a favor: educate him and cancel the date.
4. Do yourself a favor: cancel the date.
I'm voting for #3 or #4.
The typical 6.5 and above women in the 21-28 age range will cancel with no explanation (option 4). From 5-6.5 in that age cohort, the majority (my guess 85-90%) will cancel with no explanation (option 4), while the rest will choose option 3.
You are predicting women's behavior based on your rating scale of their looks?0 -
Isn't it sort of common knowledge not to over text and over call?He may think hes' doing the right thing
^THIS. Either he doesn't know how not cool that is, or he knows it but can't help himself. Either way, it's not very encouraging.
Your options:
1. Do him a favor: don't say anything about it, and go out with him--and hope that you can hear eachother over the sound of that huge red flag flapflapflapping away between you.
2. Do him a mixed favor: educate him, tell him that what's he's doing is not cool and setting off alarms, and go out with him anyway--if he still wants to after you (maybe) bruise his ego a little.
3. Do both him and yourself a favor: educate him and cancel the date.
4. Do yourself a favor: cancel the date.
I'm voting for #3 or #4.
The typical 6.5 and above women in the 21-28 age range will cancel with no explanation (option 4). From 5-6.5 in that age cohort, the majority (my guess 85-90%) will cancel with no explanation (option 4), while the rest will choose option 3.
You are predicting women's behavior based on your rating scale of their looks?
There are always exceptions, but there's definitely some truth in what he said. Good looking women won't put up with half the crap that less attractive women put up with. It's all about options.0 -
Wow so many people seeing the red flags thank you again for all your advice... 0
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Isn't it sort of common knowledge not to over text and over call?He may think hes' doing the right thing
^THIS. Either he doesn't know how not cool that is, or he knows it but can't help himself. Either way, it's not very encouraging.
Your options:
1. Do him a favor: don't say anything about it, and go out with him--and hope that you can hear eachother over the sound of that huge red flag flapflapflapping away between you.
2. Do him a mixed favor: educate him, tell him that what's he's doing is not cool and setting off alarms, and go out with him anyway--if he still wants to after you (maybe) bruise his ego a little.
3. Do both him and yourself a favor: educate him and cancel the date.
4. Do yourself a favor: cancel the date.
I'm voting for #3 or #4.
The typical 6.5 and above women in the 21-28 age range will cancel with no explanation (option 4). From 5-6.5 in that age cohort, the majority (my guess 85-90%) will cancel with no explanation (option 4), while the rest will choose option 3.
You are predicting women's behavior based on your rating scale of their looks?
There are always exceptions, but there's definitely some truth in what he said. Good looking women won't put up with half the crap that less attractive women put up with. It's all about options.
I would say it has more to do with self worth than looks. As usual, you and your misogynist buddy like to reduce women down to mathematical formulas to make yourselves feel better. And men too!0 -
if it were me, i would either be completely honest with him and still go out with him anyway, or be completely honest and not go out with him, depending upon how he reacts to: "Wow, i appreciate that you're so focused on our date; i need to be honest with you and let you know, though, that your messaging is pushing my boundaries. i'm not used to that much texting over a first date, and it's a little uncomfortable for me."
..but then again i am just a 4, and therefore necessarily considerate of the feelings of others. (i'm sure if i were hotter i'd just ignore the guy. if i were superhot i'd make fun of him too.)0 -
I wonder if DMZ & Mikey text each other and plan which threads to post their crazy to... Or call each other in the morning and see what to wear.0
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I wonder if DMZ & Mikey text each other and plan which threads to post their crazy to... Or call each other in the morning and see what to wear.
they probably KIK each other.0 -
Oh, I see our resident twits have arrived.0
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I wonder if DMZ & Mikey text each other and plan which threads to post their crazy to... Or call each other in the morning and see what to wear.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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